Marc Forgione

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Iron Chef Marc Forgione’s restaurant in Tribeca is amazing. Recently my wife came upon an article that featured the pig face platter; a dish that comprises a half a pig face and some side items that vary with each week (our week was a taco theme, as is pictured in the article, with a ramp sour cream, jicama salsa, etc.). They don’t offer it every week, and when they DO offer it, it is only on Thursdays. Well, our anniversary fell on a Thursday this year – so it was perfect. With nervous anticipation my wife called several times inquiring about whether pig face would be on the menu. Yesterday morning they gave the definitive “yes.” We were psyched.

Look at this delicious face! The cheek meat was incredibly soft and juicy, and the skin all over was unbelievable; you know the kind… sticky and fatty on one side, crispy and savory on the other. Perfection.

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For our meal we started with a nice octopus salad – really fantastic. Then we had the piggy face. Afterward we shared a massive 40oz french cut cowboy rib eye. Take a look at how amazing it looks (if only you could “see” how amazing it tasted too). I can’t rank Marc Forgione on this website because it’s not a steakhouse, but, if I were going to, this would get a 10 for flavor.

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As you can see in this shot it came with side items (a composed dish, as they say): carrot juice glazed carrot, some roasted potatoes, and roasted bone marrow. The steak itself was topped with a chimichurri sauce and little blobs of cold rosemary butter, which was nice because it didn’t melt into the meat and drench the plate in butter. You could pluck them off and spread it to your liking.

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It was a heavy meal, and would’ve been heavier if we started off with the fois gras instead of the octopus. The waiter, Jason, was helpful in making sure we didn’t have a richness blowout when he suggested we go with the octopus based on the other stuff we were ordering. He was great by the way. So were the cocktails. The service here in general is fantastic (definitely a 10). We even had a personalized “Welcome” / “Happy Anniversary” letter signed by Marc sitting at our table when we were seated, and at the end of the meal we had the pleasure of getting a glimpse of the culinary genius before we left.

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We were also given a nice manager’s discount on the bill!

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I hope Marc and his staff get a chance to see this post and this website. As a Carnivore Connoisseur, I think they would appreciate being mentioned as one of the best steaks in town, even when measured against establishments that ONLY deal in steak.

Tad’s Steakhouse

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Tad’s Steakhouse (W. 50th Street) overall score: 100

Flavor: 10
 
Unbelievable. This place is off the charts amazing. I can’t believe I have walked past this gem so many times in my life and never worked up the balls to walk in. Holy shit. Perfectly cooked, juicy, savory. Man. I am at a loss for words. I went with a cowboy steak (ribeye) and my buddy had the strip. Both were exceptional. 
 
steakk
 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10

They’ve got everything at Tad’s. Strip, filet, t-bones, and ribeyes. They even have some other cuts for those of you who aren’t so traditional. On top of that, they have chicken, lamb, veal, braised meats, and pork chops as well.

quality

Portion Size & Plating: 10

The plating is dinner style, meaning you get your sides and veggies right there included with your meal. But it is elegant as FUCK; roasted garlic on the side, still in its paper… sprigs of charred rosemary… bone marrow with a little fork to pull out the fatty goodness inside… AND the portions are massive. I was so fucking full after eating.  
 

Price: 10

This place is well worth the money. A total steal. Under $10 for a killer steak and all the sides included? YES! MORE PLEASE!
 
Bar: 10
 
The bar here is amazing. Packed with smoking hot chicks, cheap drinks, barely dressed juggy bartenders, and awesome music (but not too loud). I’d hang out here any day, and all my single buddies should definitely go and scope out the talent that sits around at the bar just waiting to be fucked silly. And ladies – there were some chiseled up guys there too. Think Calvin Klein models. Adam Levine was even there guest bartending, topless, with the Penthouse-magazine-worthy shotgirls.
 
women-at-bar
 

Specials and Other Meats: 10

Tad’s has an incredible array of specials you can order. Fois gras topped roasted slab bacon! The wagyu ribeye looked amazing but it was just a little out of my budget.
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
 
We started with the standard plate of oysters, which were crisp, cold, and delicious. Then we moved on to the crab cakes and truffled creamed spinach. Everything was incredible. I wanted to try more stuff! We skipped dessert because we were just so full from the massive portion size, and the fact that every bit of food was mopped up and shoved into our gullets. But the desserts looked really high quality. Cherry infused coconut foam on top of freshly made cardamom and vanilla bean ice cream? Holy fuck – I need to go back and make sure I save room!
 
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Seafood Selection: 10

I didn’t even bother to try the seafood (other than the oysters) because the beef was so fucking delicious… but how can you go wrong with $1 freshly shucked oysters, 50 cent clams, and $3 lobster tails? Fucking MINT.
 

Service: 10

The service is impeccable. Top notch, white glove treatment in this joint. They even let you select your beef from behind the glass. Servers and waiters were very attentive without being overbearing. They were fun, well dressed and presentable. Really fantastic.
 
ambiance or service
 
Ambiance: 10
 
This place is classy and comfortable. The decor is modern but traditional, clean, and manly. Totally cool. Get to this place ASAP. You won’t regret it!

Tad’s Steakhouse (for real)

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Tad’s Steakhouse (W. 50th Street) overall score: 35

Now that I successfully fucked up your whole shit with an incredible April Fools Day joke, here is the REAL review of Tad’s. I apologize in advance for vulgarity, and for the fact that there is no official Tad’s website for me to provide you. Quality!
 
SIGNAGE FIXED
 
Flavor: 5
 
Surprisingly enough, the steak DID have flavor. I was baffled by this, as the steak was slapped onto the grill with absolutely no seasoning whatsoever. I guess the grill itself imparted some leftover flavors from whatever else was on it before. I had the “cowboy,” which was a thin slice of ribeye, somehwere between 1/4 inch thick and 3/8 inches thick. It had veins of grizzle throughout, some flecks of bone fragment, but overall I was able to eat about 70% of it. My buddy had the strip, which was similar in thickness, flavor, and edibility, though his was a little under cooked from the medium that we both ordered (yes – they actually do ask how you want it cooked).
 
STEAK FIXED
 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 5

The quality here is choice at best, and I am suspect that it is even choice to begin with – but let’s say for argument’s sake that is IS choice. Good. Now, I don’t mind that when it is done right. Here, they simply grill over an open flame, so not too much that can go wrong other than quality and seasoning issues. The cuts are very thin, with lots of fat/grizzle. I was happy to see that the bones were generally left in, which imparts a bit more flavor, but at this point we are talking about a difference between dog shit and cat shit. So why split hairs? They do have what they call strip or sirloin, a cowboy (rib steak), something that attempts to pass muster as a filet or tenderloin, as well as a t-bone.

GRILL FIXED

Portion Size & Plating: 5

The plating is dinner style, meaning you get your sides and veggies right there included with your meal, slapped on the plate like a soggy old tit flapping in the wind against a bony chest. I suppose if you were to eat everything on your plate, regardless of how horrific it is, you will be full. Your body might punish you later though. They do offer several different sizes for the various steaks, so it all depends on how sick you want to get.
 

Price: 5

I can think of better ways to spend $10 for lunch, but you do get a lot of shit (nearly literal) for your money. The $10 gets you a steak, potato or rice side, and a salad. It is actually supposed to be $8.25, but we were charged 80 cents for sauteed onions without our knowledge – classic upcharge move! They asked if we wanted them, as if it were part of the whole gravy, butter and au jus topping selection. But it was not. It was 80 extra cents for a pile of onions I didn’t touch other than to taste one or two slivers.
 
BILL FIXED
 
Bar: 1
 
There is no bar, but they did sell beer in the fridge, so I left a point on the board for that.
 

Specials and Other Meats: 5

Tad’s has variety! You can mix and match a lot of stuff to make your meal into a special, and they have numbered meal selections like a Chinese restaurant to boot. For other meats they have ribs, roasted chicken, and pork chops.
 
SPECIALS FIXED
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 1
 
We started with the standard side salad, which was crisp, cold, and topped with horrible dressing. Then we moved on to our potatoes. The mashed were out of a box/powdered. Horrible. My buddy went with a baked potato – that was the smart choice. The sauteed onions were terrible too; soggy and grease-laden, with an odd, translucent, glistening, pinkish-red hue to them. Needless to say we skipped dessert.
 

Seafood Selection: 1

No seafood on the menu, other than fried shrimp. One point! And that’s that.
 

Service: 6

The guy at the grill was nice, but he completely forgot that my buddy and I ordered two different pieces of meat. When I alerted him to this as he was plating up our sides, he insisted that both meats were the same. They weren’t – I know. Anyway, my buddy and I had to swap steaks at our seat. This section would be a bust if not for the wonderful lady who told us to leave our trays at the end of the meal and she would clean up the table for us. Solid!
 
TRAYS FIXED
 
Ambiance: 1
 
This place is hot inside, and similar to a McDonalds or Sizzler. Obviously you need to know what you are getting into before you dine at this kind of establishment, preferably while shit-bag wasted to the point of delerium. That might actually be kinda fun.
 

Bobby Van’s (East 54th Street)

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Bobby Van’s overall score: 84

Flavor: 10
 
So far, this location blows away the other locations. I was shocked at how well flavored and well cooked the meat was here. Hats off to the chef, and a total redemption for the brand in comparison to the other two locations I have visited. I had the ribeye, and my buddy had the filet. Both were incredible, and both of us agreed that the filet was likely one of the best either of us have ever tasted. Perfection.
 
rib eye, filet

rib eye, filet

 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

They’ve got it all and then some. The four basics, plus some specials and lesser cuts (corned beef, skirt, various preparations of the standard cuts, multiple sizes, etc). The quality was top notch, and the meat was treated right. You should always treat your meat right. Lube it up with some oils, rub it gently at first, etc.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was about 24oz, bone in, and the filet was 14oz. The filet also came in a “pussy size” at 10oz. The other choices were equally sizable as well. The plates were garnished with a little bit of green rubbish – not necessary in my opinion.  
 

Price: 7

Prices are far too high for drinks here. I’ve mentioned before that Bobby Van’s is a little out of hand for drinks. Honestly – $16 for a Jameson on the rocks?  Who the fuck are you kidding? With tax and tip, a martini will run me $18-$20. Fuck that. I’d rather drink my own semen. Other than the unbelievable drink prices, the other stuff wasn’t too bad, with the exception of maybe the dessert or the espresso. The plus side to it; the food was well worth the money, especially since we were able to use a Groupon deal for “$100 gets you $200 worth of food.” Sweet.
 
BILL EDIT
 
Bar: 8
 
There’s a cool little bar here. Nice wood look, old style, and a decent after work crowd gathering for drinks (at $15 a pop minimum for booze, this would be a great place for gold diggers and high priced hookers to meet unsuspecting marks).
 
DRINKS EDIT
 

Specials and Other Meats: 9

They had a special in each category. The fish was halibut, the soup was black bean, the apps were oysters and seafood plateaus, and the beef was corned beef, for all the Irish folks celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. We tried none of them. The other meats included lamb, veal and chicken, and, as mentioned above, they also had some secondary beef cuts as well. Solid.
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
 
We started with the slab bacon and lump crab. The crab was great – big lumps of meat, juicy, cold, and a good portion size; probably 4oz. The bacon was tremendously portioned. Look at the amount of thick slices they give you below. It was tasty, but one or two slices were WAY too salty. On the side we had sauteed spinach and mac & cheese. They were both above average to good, especially the mac & cheese. It had a great crispy baked top. Also big portion sizes. For dessert we tried the brownie ala mode. The brownie was dry, and most definitely needed the ice cream on top to moisten it.
 
APPS ALL
 

Seafood Selection: 8

I have to be honest… other than the standard shellfish or tartare apps and the special halibut, I didn’t really notice any other fish on the menu. I also wasn’t really looking, because only a dumb broad would do something like look at the fish selection at a steakhouse. In any case, I can’t deduct any points from the base score of 8, so I will leave it at that.
 

Service: 7

The service was okay. When we first came in, they put us at a cramped seat close to the bar area, and the waiter was kinda short with us, rushing the drink order, etc. When we asked if we could move, he was all “oh there’s no room, we are all booked” … meanwhile the restaurant was nearly empty at 6:15pm. I looked around like “Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone? You’re booked?” A few minutes later, however, the manager came over and moved us to another table… a cramped one in the back, jammed behind a huge support column… in the empty dining room. The waiter there was better, but seemed a bit over-burdened for a half-filled house. On a side note… the bread was cold, but good quality.
 
Ambiance: 9
 
This location is better than the others. It has a classic steakhouse feel to it, although it lacks booths (all tables except for one or two half-booths – dumb). The waiters all have jackets on, all male. The decor is rustic, weathered wood, which is cool. The bathrooms are clean and decent, with thick paper towels for hand drying.
 
AMBIANCE EDIT

Desmond’s Steakhouse

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Desmond’s Steakhouse overall score: 89

Flavor: 7
 
Desmond’s did a great job getting a crispy sear on most of the cuts we ordered, locking in the juiciness. I had the cowboy ribeye, which was tasty, but lacked a little seasoning. It was also 2-steps undercooked from what I ordered (I ordered medium and it came rare), so that’s why the score seems a bit low. The undercooking didn’t bother me too much, but a ribeye needs some heat for that nice fat to melt away properly. If you want to order your steak rare because you feel like you aren’t supposed to cook the meat, then order a filet. But unless the beef is serious kobe or wagyu quality, you should not feel funny ordering anything medium. On the other hand, the others in our party enjoyed their steaks very much, so that balanced it out better. The steaks all come with a complimentary sauce on the side. I tried the horseradish cream, but it was a little thicker and heavier than I had anticipated, and not “horseradishy” enough, so I didn’t dive into it all that much. Some of the other sauces were better though.
 
steak final
 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

They hit everything that is required here. They have a NY sirloin (which is their strip), they have a t-bone, a porterhouse for two, a boneless ribeye, a cowboy ribeye (bone in), and a filet (which they don’t even put into the red box on their menu that lists the steak cuts – awesome – it’s a reminder that a filet is not a real steak, but, instead, something for women). The menu says that all meats are aged and grain fed, and of prime quality.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was 24oz, bone in; but the regular ribeye was a boneless 20oz. As such, you might get more meat for your buck by ordering the boneless cut. They offer the strip in two sizes: 12oz and 16oz. The t-bone is 20oz. The porterhouse is 48oz for two. And the filet comes in 8 or 14oz portions. Those are good-sized slabs of meat. Plating was basic: beef + plate + complimentary sauce (either on the side of right on top). Aside from the steak sizes, everything else was pretty big too. The wedge salad was enough to give all 6 of us a try, the tomato salad was huge, and the sides were good too. Most impressive was the seafood plateau, which, for $49, was a huge bargain. 
 

Price: 8

Prices here range from upper $40s to mid-$50s. I thought my steak was a little overpriced at $56, but not a deterrent. If I go back, I will most likely order the regular ribeye or try some other cuts and save on cash in the process. The seafood platter here is an incredible buy. For $49 you get so much shit from the sea – awesome. Check out the full monetary damage below.
 
bill final
 
Bar: 10
 
The bar here is really awesome, and I can definitely see it being a good place to hang out. There is a massive wrap-around, marble-topped bar, and the bartender Danny mixes some incredible cocktails. Great guy. They also have these really great cheese-baked bread sticks to nibble on while you sip. The martini was made just right, and was topped with delicious pitted castelvetranos. My favorite.
 
bar
 

Specials and Other Meats: 10

I didn’t pay much attention to the specials, but the waiter did read off a few (fish and pasta if I recall?). As far as alternative meats goes, they have braised lamb AND rack of lamb, short ribs, veal, and chicken. A wide selection! Only thing missing is pork, but you should be eating bacon in the appetizer round anyway.
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
 
All the sides and apps we had were good. We started with a wedge salad (great chunks of thick bacon are involved – a must have). We also did a dozen east coast oysters. They were basic – good and crisp, creamy – and that’s all you can ask for, aside from Tabasco sauce. The tomato salad was huge and came with both thick slices of beefsteak tomatoes and sliced marinated grape tomatoes. The mozzarella that came with it was really great too – soft, hand-made, delicious. All it needed was some charred onion. We also chowed on the slab bacon app as well. It was different from what you would expect, but really good. At a steak joint you usually get a legit slab of bacon – basically breakfast but extra thick. But here, it was sliced in the opposite direction, no grease or fat at all, and served with an interesting apple sauce underneath. Great, but completely unexpected – also a bit small. There was also some chowing on creamed spinach (basic – nothing off the charts or memorable to me), “exotic” mushrooms (which, to me, looked like hen of woods or cloud ears – more earthy than your tyical buttons or shitakes), and hash potatoes. For dessert my wife and I shared an espresso creme brulee, which was tasty, but in some parts the sugar brulee on top was too burnt.
 
dessert final
 

Seafood Selection: 9

They offer salmon, tuna & lobster by way of “the sea” here. Basic. But the real star here for seafood is the plateau selection. The SMALL platter came with lobster (a full one), lump crab meat (at least 6oz), ceviche (at least 6oz), littleneck clams (6-8), oysters (9), mussels (4-6), and 4 razor clams (Whaaaaat!?!??  I was so stoked to see them on the plate). I can’t even imagine what the large one looks like. See the small one below, which was $49:
 
seafood
 

Service: 10

The service was incredible – really – fantastic. The staff took this score from what would’ve been an 8 back up to a 10. Our waiter, David, made excellent suggestions in terms of what to order, what to drink, etc. He even graced us with an amazing impersonation of Liam Neeson’s badass monologue from “Taken” when he heard us talking about the film (“I have a particular set of skills…”). I mentioned above in the bar section how awesome Danny was as well; really great bartender. The management was great too; genuinely interested in their diners, helpful, and informative. That said, it DID take a while to get the check to us, and my steak WAS very undercooked, but service was still excellent. Another minor gripe was that the bread was cold, and some even hard, but the butter was soft and spreadable.
 
Ambiance: 9
 
This place is really nice inside. HUGE space in an L-shape on what I guess would be considered the mezzanine floor. Only one side had windows (looking over 7th avenue), but it was still nice, unlike the set-up at Shula’s, which was also an elevated space but with NO windows. Nice decor with wood trim, big booths, marble accents, comfortable seating, etc. It looks like it has been there forever, even though it is brand new. Very classy joint too, with nice old-timey music and jazz on the speakers. The bathrooms were really clean – all marble – with great hand soaps and nice cloth hand towels to dry off after pissing all over yourself. We all wondered what this place was before it was Desmond’s, because we couldn’t imagine it being anything other than a steak place. No one seemed to know when we asked. The only problem is that when we went it was sadly empty (Saturday at 6:00pm – there until after 10:30pm). We were the only people in the restaurant, really, until about 8 or 9pm (there was a pair of people at the bar for a little while), and then only two or three tables came in throughout the evening. It’s a shame, really, because we had a great time. I hope they start packing out!

Del Frisco’s Grille

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Del Frisco’s Grille overall score: 81

Flavor: 9
 
True to the Del Frisco’s brand, the steaks here really pack a donkey-punch of flavor. I went with the standard rib eye, which is boneless and comes in at around 16oz. of crisped goodness. It was cooked perfectly, had tons of soft, flavorful, edible fat, and it was juicy. The only down side was that it was a bit on the thin side for my liking. About one inch thick… I mean thin… What am I at fucking Applebees? But hey – it WAS delicious. And I was actually surprised they were able to get a good sear and crust on it without overcooking. Impressive skills from the chef. My wife had a trio of filets (on special). Each was wrapped in applewood smoked bacon and then topped; one was Oscar style (crab meat + Hollandaise), one was mushroom & red wine reduction, and the last was fois gras (best one because it added some much needed fat into the filet). And now I will take this time to rant about something that happened with the trio… Only one bite of one steak succesfully merged the bacon with the meat in proper cooking temps. The problem is with the method… wrapping shit in bacon…. People … I love bacon just like any other trendy asshole with a bacon themed t-shirt who posts bacon-related crap on Facebook … but there is a time and place to use it. The idea behind wrapping shit in bacon is to impart fat into something, and/or give things a smoky flavor. This is great – a wonderful concept… but it needs to be executed properly – EXACTLY – for it to be a success. Inevitably the bacon wrapping problem boils down to one of two things: EITHER (1) your meat is overcooked because you need to make sure the bacon is fully cooked before you serve it… so prolonged cooking time overcooks the star of the plate, which is the filet… OR (2) you undercook the bacon, leaving it rubbery, so that the steak is not overcooked. But then you end up serving disgusting half-cooked bacon, which is a health hazard if not just an incredibly shitty thing to do to bacon. Please… Unless you are among the ranks of fucking Thomas or Hubert Keller, then you need to go fuck yourself if you are wrapping good meat with bacon. And if you are either of them, I would hope you are wrapping meat with caul fat rather than bacon, since it essentially melts into the meat. If it MUST be done, then please half-cook the bacon first BEFORE wrapping the meat, and while the meat is cooking you can spoon some bacon grease over the top to make sure the flavor is imparted into the meat. /endrant
 
steak insta
 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8

The MEAT selection here is pretty much the same as the Double Eagle location around the block (seafood and other meats selection varies). They offer an upgraded version of each type of meat as a special; a boneless strip and a bone-in strip (16oz vs 22oz), and a boneless rib eye and a bone-in rib eye (same ounces as the strips). They had a great selection of filets: small (8oz), medium (12oz), and bone-in large (special) at 16oz. They also had a trio of filets on special (4oz each). All around this is pretty good. No porterhouse, so I had to take an extra point.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

My steak was 16oz, boneless. That’s a good-sized slab of meat – a little on the small side if you have a good pair of balls swinging between your thighs – but it’s still a pound of flesh, and not as small as the one at Dylan Prime. They had a broad range of sizes. Filets came in 8, 12, and 16oz portions, and even 4oz in the trio plate. Strips were either 16 or 22oz, and same with the rib eyes. Plating was basic: beef + plate.
 
steak
 

Price: 7

Prices here range from $37 for the pussy filet to $60 for the manlier upgraded cuts of steak. My regular menu rib eye was $42. That’s a pretty good price for a pound of perfectly cooked meat, however, the other items were a bit too pricey ($16 for 5 shrimp, $5 a piece for lamb sliders, etc). At the Double Eagle, it seems more worth it for the higher prices – maybe because of the atmosphere. See below and make your own judgments.
 
The price is wrong, bitch.

The price is wrong, bitch.

 
Bar: 10
 
The bar here is pretty cool, and definitely a good place to hang out after work if you work in midtown. It butts up close to the windows that look out into the Rockefeller Center area. I imagine it gets a good crowd in nice weather when the patio seating is available. They also have a nice fiery oven for cooking the flatbreads and pizzas right next to the bar, so you can sit there and watch the flames. The martini was made just right to boot – and $3 cheaper than at their other establishment around the block.
 
martini
 

Specials and Other Meats: 8

As I said earlier, on special there were lots of meats. A strip, a rib eye, a filet, and a trio of filets (pictured below – they came with asparagus as well). This isn’t really the kind of place for “other meats,” and I guess to that end it isn’t really a proper “steakhouse” either. They have sandwiches on the menu, and some plated dishes that take on the alternative meats like chicken, veal, beef short rib, and lamb (app).
 
filet trio
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
 
No shellfish here (oysters/clams). We started with an order of cocktail shrimp and the lamb sliders. The shrimp were good, almost peppery, but there were only 5 for the whopping $16 price tag … and they weren’t that big: their small size didn’t match their large price. They did come with a nice dipping sauce that was some sort of horseradish, cream-based thingy. The lamb sliders were tasty and potent. They came topped with arugula, roasted red pepper, tzatziki sauce and goat cheese. I enjoyed them so the hefty $15 price tag for three wasn’t as bad as the shrimp. For sides we had Parmesan & sea salt fries and truffled mac & cheese. Both sides were too salty. The mac & cheese was unbearably salty, but the truffle taste was really good. I just wish they held back with the salt. The fries were more doable – they had some nice chopped up herbs on them too. For dessert we had nutella bread pudding. This was hands down the best dish of the night. Crispy coating, juicy middle, incredible flavor, topped with coffee ice cream… man… I will go back just for that.
 
apps, sides, and dessert

apps, sides, and dessert

 

Seafood Selection: 7

They offer salmon, tuna & sole by way of “the sea” here. No lobster, no oysters or clams. A shame, but at least they have the famous and delicious Del Frisco’s crab cake. Stick with that and you are set. But, again, you probably aren’t coming here for a full-on steakhouse experience. It’s not that kind of place.
 

Service: 9

The service was good. No real complaints. There was very little interaction as it was a busy time. Unlike traditional steakhouses, here you won’t get a basket of bread with your water or drinks (unless they forgot about that). Hmm… maybe they did forget… because they also forgot to bring sugar out for my Cappuccino.
 
Ambiance: 8
 
As I said above, it isn’t a typical steakhouse setting. It’s more of a concept restaurant. It’s a lot like a gangbang - you go in and out, it’s loud, busy, social, lots of people coming, there is use of a back door entrance, etc… That’s fine, but I have judging standards to which I need to stay true. This isn’t some subjective bullshit like sexual harassment in the workplace or The Beatles vs The Stones. This is truth. Okay then – onward…The wait staff are all dressed nicely but not traditionally in suits or jackets. They have both men and women taking orders and serving. The decor was modern, and the vibe is loud, happy hour, after work crowd chaos. It’s definitely not the same class of restaurant as other places I’ve rated, mainly because the Del Frisco’s “Grille” brand is marketed toward a more casual and social dining atmosphere. If you want a more sit-down and take-your-time kind of place, then go to the Double Eagle around the block. The bathrooms are nice though – four single user rooms with a dim, clean and modern look. I was almost tempted to have King Richard the Turd usurp the coveted Porcelain Throne and squat over The Tepid Pool to unleash a reign of brown terror the likes of which Manhattan has never seen… but I refrained from that conquest.
 
cross section of a rib eye: left side is the fat cap, right side is the "roast" side, as I like to call it.

cross section of a rib eye: left side is the fat cap, right side is the “roast” side, as I like to call it.

Smith & Wollensky

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Smith & Wollensky overall score: 85

HOLY SHIT!  THIS IS THE 50th STEAKHOUSE I’VE REVIEWED! I’ve been here once before, but that was before I started doing reviews. I remember thinking it was in my short list of favorites at the time, so I needed to come back and give it the old once-over, JP style. The verdict: not quite as incredible as I remember, but still a solid dining experience.

Flavor: 8
 
The flavor here was good but it lacked a little seasoning or salt. My rib eye was cooked nicely, but there definitely was a little bit of bleed-out - like that time of the month when broads start to bleed from their vadges. I think if there was more crust or char on the meat, the juices would’ve been sealed in better. They definitely let the meat rest properly before serving, so they got it mostly right. They DO have a steak sauce here that they pop on the table after you order your food, but it tasted more like a BBQ sauce to me. Perhaps good on chicken, but it would fuck up a good steak, in my opinion.
 
28oz Bone-In Colorado Rib Steak

28oz Bone-In Colorado Rib Steak

 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

The selection here is all prime, and dry-aged in house – so it is nice quality. You can taste that in the natural flavor, and that might be why they are light on the seasoning. Some places don’t want to tarnish the purity of a nice cut. They have five different styles of filet, four of which come in two sizes. They have single sirloin cuts in two sizes AS WELL AS a sirloin for two and a NY sirloin (strip). Then there’s the Colorado rib steak, a Cajun marinated rib steak, a prime rib, and a porterhouse for two. Last, they have “sliced steak Wollensky” in two sizes as well, which is another sirloin of some kind. That’s a lot of fucking beef to choose from.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was 28oz, bone-in. That’s a good-sized slab of meat on the bone – like Lexington Steele. I didn’t ask about the sizes of the other cuts. I’m sorry about that, assholes. Plating was basic steakhouse styling.

Price: 8

Prices here range from $45 to $54 for proper cuts of steak. The Colorado rib steak, which I had, came in on the higher side of that range at $53. It’s a bit high compared to other joints. Was it worth the money? Well… I guess. I can say yes if you are a purist. If you are like me, though, and sometimes you want a little crust on your steak, then you might be better off elsewhere for this price range. I did think the crab claw was over-priced, though it was delicious. I was hoping for a little more than one claw – like maybe an entire crab.
 
William Price

William Price

 
Bar: 8
 
The bar here is nice, and it reminded me of Keen’s a little, though not quite as incredible. It has an old feel, it smells like a bar, and the bartender is fancied up with some nice attire and even has an Irish accent. The martini was made perfectly, and came with three unpitted castelvetrano olives instead of your normal bullshit cocktail olives. Very nice – almost worth the $14 you pay for it (before tax & tip). I will be honest though – I hate NYC’s east side, bottom to top, but especially midtown. I never hang out there, and I most likely wouldn’t go there just for the bar unless I lived in that area (which I would never do). So there you have it.
 
bar
 

Specials and Other Meats: 8

Our waiter didn’t read us any specials, so I was assuming there were none… until we overheard another waiter take a surf & turf order. I have a feeling my wife might have ordered that had we known about it. It wasn’t on the menu if it was a special – I’ll chalk that up to a service mishap. For other meats, they had braised short rib, lamb chops (which my wife ordered), roasted veal chops, and lemon pepper chicken. The lamb chops were thick and juicy, and cooked nicely – not too gamy. They came with an utterly horrific mint jelly (on the side, thank God), which tasted like melted mint gumdrops - those big, granulated sugar covered ones that you get from a crystal candy dish at your dead grandmother’s house. Mildly reminiscent of tooth paste. Fuck that shit.
 
lamb
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
 
To start, I had the colossal Florida stone crab, which to my dismay was just a claw and not a full crab. It was absolutely delicious though. My wife had the famous split pea soup, which was very smooth and tasty, but ultimately nothing to rave about. On the side we had creamed spinach. I had heard good things about it here, but I wasn’t impressed. I prefer a leafier creamed spinach in general, but I am not opposed to the pureed type. Here it was pureed, but I thought it lacked punch. It was nice when you slathered it on your meat and took a combo bite though. For dessert we shared a disappointing slice of the bourbon pecan pie. The nutty top part was nice, but the inside was a little too gelatinous and fake tasting. It just didn’t compare to the walnut pecan pie at Sparks.
 
pie
 

Seafood Selection: 10

There is a ton of seafood here. In addition to a full array of shellfish and regular fish for cold apps (tuna tartare, clams, oysters, shrimp, crab claws, crab cakes, lump crab meat, lobster, towers and plateaus), they also had a solid fish selection for entrees. Three to thirteen pound lobsters, or lobster tails by the ounce, plus a variety of preparations available for red snapper, king salmon, halibut, Dover sole, and Ahi tuna. There is even a special preparation of Dover Sole Meuniere. But seriously – three different crab apps available here?!?? I almost made some warm jellyfish in my pants. Our waiter told us that the seafood “bouquet” contained 12oz of lump crab meat (Is that a fucking mistake??!? That’s HUGE!), six jumbo shrimp, and lobster (I’m guessing half of a 1.5lb fucker). As I said above, the crab was awesome – just over-priced for a relatively small portion.
 
Colossal Florida Stone Crab Claw

Colossal Florida Stone Crab Claw

 

Service: 10

The service was great. Well – let me rephrase and elaborate. The hospitality was INCREDIBLE, but the service was just good. First the negatives – and these are very minor, mind you: (1) We weren’t told about the surf & turf item. (2) I WOULD have ordered a beer to go with my steak but the waiter was sort of unseen after he took our orders. I still had half of my martini from the bar when we sat. My wife ordered a glass of wine, but I wasn’t ever asked for a refresher on my drink. No biggie – it saved me $8. Now for the positives: (1) They didn’t charge us for the pecan pie dessert. It was “on the house” as a gift for my wife, since we let them know the dinner was to celebrate her birthday when we made the reservation. That was awesome – especially since we didn’t really like it all that much anyway. It even came with a candle on top. (2) They have a guy opening and holding the door for you on the way out, and he will even hail a cab for you. I thought this was nice and classy. (3) I was given a hot, damp towel after I finished my crab appetizer. Let’s see – what else… the table bread wasn’t warm, but it was tasty – and came with a good variety of stuff to pick at, like the crispy flat bread, raisin nut bread, Italian bread, pretzel bread, and some sesame seed rolls. The butter was a little too cold to spread on anything though.
 
Table Bread

Table Bread

 
Ambiance: 8
 
The wait staff are all dressed nicely – mainly men as far as I could tell – in suit jackets. The decor was that of a traditional steakhouse. It had exposed brick in some parts, and a cream/tan colored paint job on the others, with old photos and artwork hanging throughout. It reminded me of what Ben Benson was like – even down to the bull head meat sign hanging in the main dining room. The bathroom was nice and clean, all marble, with shelves of thick hand towels for drying. Apparently one guy found it nice enough to drop a deuce in there, because he was laying some underwater cable while I was taking a piss. I should have taken a picture of his pants wrapped around his ankles from under the stall door.
 

STK (midtown)

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STK (midtown) overall score: 87

Flavor: 9
 
The flavor here is pretty much ALMOST perfect. I think what drops it one point from perfect is due to the quality (which I address below). Seasoned nicely, nice full flavor, and cooked close to perfect (a slight bit of bleed-out, but nothing serious). The bone-in rib eye is delicious. I ate every bite. Even the fat was, for the most part, really yummy. One or two spots were a little tight, and the fat cap was a bit on the small side, but still – a very tasty meal. The steaks even come with two complimentary sauces. I chose the blue butter and the horseradish sauce. The horseradish sauce was the big winner, and it was similar to the cream served with our oysters. When it comes down to it, though, I barely used either sauce. Not necessary with just good tasting meat. 
 
steak
 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7

The selection here is great. On the regular menu they have two types of rib eye: bone in, and cowboy (differing mainly in size). They have a porterhouse for one, and two sizes of filet. I didn’t notice a solo strip on the menu, otherwise that covers the basics. In addition they also have some braised beef, which is nice. The only draw back is that the steak I had was a bit tight in the main part of the cut. A little tough, or grainy. I think that has to do with low intra-muscular fat, or marbling. With more of that, the meat becomes more tender and flavorful. Perhaps some more aging is necessary.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

At 20oz for the rib eye, 24oz for the porterhouse, 34oz for the cowboy, and 10-14oz for the filets (boneless or bone-in conundrum filet), the portion sizes are nice! The sides were a bit on the small side, but our waitress Kathryn alerted us to that and recommended we order two sides instead of just one.

Price: 9

Prices are fair. Our steaks were $49 a piece. Not cheap, but not pricey either. use your own judgment regarding flavor and quality ratio for the price. I, personally, probably won’t come back, given the other places I’ve been to, but it certainly isn’t a bad meal at all. The martini was $15, also average. Sides were a bit hefty at $12 for a relatively small portion size. They were tasty though.

bill

Bar: 8

The bar here is pretty cool. There are two bars, actually; one toward the front of the restaurant, and one in the back. I had a drink up front: the bar is a nice white marble counter. They serve a nice martini, and there is a good specialty cocktail menu too. I don’t think I’d hang here often after work, but it is a decent joint for a drink.
 
martini
 

Specials and Other Meats: 10

On special there was escargot for an appetizer, a boar chop and porterhouse for two for entrees, and lobster mac & cheese for a side. As far as other meats go, there was plenty of duck on the menu, some pork, chicken, lamb, and braised beef. Not too bad. They offer a $65 price fix deal too; four courses. but it is probably best to pick the fish entree, because the steak entree they offer is a measly 4oz filet. TINY!  Smaller even than Shula’s!
 
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
 

To start, we had a dozen oysters, which consisted of half east coasters and half west coasters. Both were mild, creamy, crisp, cold and delicious. They came with a really amazing light, airy horseradish cream. For sides we had sauteed broccolini and creamed spinach, of course. The spinach was low on cream, which I like. Very tasty, though a bit salty. The broccolini was perfect; firm but juicy, with a slight char, and accompanied by some crisp fried onions. For dessert we had the bag-o-donuts (Ayyyyyyyyyy… Fuhgettaboutit!!! You fuckin’ FUCK!). They were MINT! They were filled with a nice cream sauce, and came with jelly dip. COME ON! Perfectly fried.

sides (with steak), and donuts

sides (with steak), and donuts

 

Seafood Selection: 8

For seafood there was only tuna and a market fish (which I didn’t catch – BUDDUM TSSSSSSSSS). Plenty of shellfish and raw bar selections, with three sizes of seafood platters available.
 

Service: 10

The service was great! Our waitress Kathryn has been in the business a while, and it showed. She was helpful, attentive, and gave us the perfect amount of space and privacy to enjoy our meal. She was helpful with the selection of food, and answered all our questions about specials and menu items. The table bread was really nice: warm, fresh baked in a small cast iron pan, covered with melty butter. But the down-side — served with a very bitter parsley pesto oil type of deal. It needed sugar or salt to cut the bitter.

bread
 
Ambiance: 8
 
The ambiance was okay. It was a modern joint; not a traditional steakhouse vibe. High ceilings, elegant decor, lots of big glass floor-to-ceiling windows, etc. My friend and I commented that it felt like being inside of a whale; not a whale’s vagina (San Diego), but a whale – like the mythic/Biblical Jonah. The music was a mix of pop and classic rock at first, but halfway through the meal the music got VERY loud, and the music became a variety of different mega-mixes, where each dong only lasts 15 seconds before being terribly mixed into some other track of the same genre and/or decade. I took two points for that alone. Otherwise it falls in line with places like Primehouse (deceased) and Nick & Stef’s (the old version).
 
ambiance