All posts by Johnny Prime

The Searzall

I was watching some Mind of a Chef recently (Season One), and I saw some dudes using this fucking crazy-ass device called a Searzall. After some further internet research, I found that the creators (Booker & Dax Labs) did a Kickstarter campaign to get the ball rolling on their product.

Chef David Chang took a big liking too it. He actually has his guys use it at Momofuku Ko to get the fish skin nice and crispy:

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The Searzall itself is actually just an attachment. To put the whole device together you will need other shit. I nabbed a blow torch, a can of propane, and a Searzall, because I want to flame my steak shit sometimes instead of finishing in a pan. Below I’ve included a few pics of the shit I used to assemble the Searzall:

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SEAR THE FUCK OUT OF SHIT. Get medieval with a blowtorch! I use a Searzall on my sous vide steaks, because I’m a fucking badass with a massive bag dangling in the area between my asshole and my dick shaft. Listen to that fucking sizzle just before I flip it over:

So you probably get the impression that I love this thing; I do. It’s like having a power tool for cooking. It’s manly. But I think it takes some practice to really become skilled with it, just like a table saw or any other power tool in the garage or at the construction site.

For example, if you take your cooked meat directly from the oven or the sous vide bag and started searing it with a Searzall, you’ll ruin the food. You need to wait until that shit cools down significantly, otherwise you’ll end up adding too much heat to an already hot item. You’ll overcook the center of the meat, not just add crisp to the outside. Also, this works nice for fish. The skin and flesh get really crispy. But you need to give the fish a light spread of butter or olive oil first, so you have flavor and brown-colored crisp instead of pure, black, burnt fish skin charcoal.

The Happiest Hour

This place has been getting some traction with the foodies, burger lovers and bar-goers of NYC lately. The joint is somewhat set up like a tiki bar or a surf bar, only rather than a wooden shack, it has fancy wallpaper and some skylights. In the back there is a dining area, but the bar is the more fun place to drop your ass for a drink or a quick burger.

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First let me start with the bar and drinks. The cocktails are a mix of exotic fruit flavors and old-fashioned, stiff, speakeasy drinks. Some of them are even served in tiki mugs, like this frozen slushee of the day, which was called Bad Medicine or Painkiller or something of that sort.

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I’m not sure if “The Happiest Hour” even has a happy hour special, but they certainly fucking should with a name like that.

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My wife and a friend of ours met there at 7:30, which is usually at the back end of, or just after, the typical happy hour times of NYC, but I didn’t see any signage or menu items listed for specials. The cheapest item to drink that contains alcohol is this 12oz can of Narragansett for $4.

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Draft beers are on the small and expensive side, at $8 for what looks like a 10oz glass, maybe 12oz if filled to the absolute top. Fuck that bullshit. I stuck with the cans of Narragansett, because I’m not a wasteful asshole, and I actually happen to enjoy piss beer from time to time.

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In any event, if you’re here after dark and are looking for an even greater selection of interesting and expensive cocktails (averaging $16 per drink), then go down into the basement to S&S (Slowly Shirley), which is owned and operated by the same crew, serves up some of the same bar snacks (some of which are slightly more expensive down there, too), but sports a massive cocktail list of some of the most awesome concoctions you will ever come across.

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This place is Mad Men/Magic City meets The Brady Bunch in Hawaii. The menu is similarly styled as upstairs, but there’s a lot more to choose from, and some really incredible mixes of things you’d never expect to play nice together, like mezcal and beets, or scotch and cucumber.

Okay so now that all of that bullshit is out of the way, let’s get down to the meat of this review: the food.

I ordered The Happiest Burger, which consisted of two 4oz patties, American cheese, tomato, lettuce, pickles, confit onions and special sauce, all between a nice potato bun.

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I must say that the hype is well-placed. The burger is excellent, and easily slides into my top ten in the city. I didn’t quite taste the onion or special sauce, but that was only because they were generous with the cheese, which I like. The bun was fantastic – nice and simple, soft and strong. The lettuce gave it a good crunch, and the tomato supplied some juice, but without anything dripping all over the plate or my shirt. It was cooked a little bit too much, as you can see from the cut below, but not unacceptable:

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The fries were equally awesome. These were shoestring style, very crisp and nicely seasoned.

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That bowl size is the $6 side order, as opposed to the $4 smaller size that you can get with your burger. Since there were three of us, we shared the one bowl instead of each getting our own fries. That freed up our bellies to try a couple of other items.

We tried the buffalo cucumbers, with watermelon, poppy seeds and mint, as well as the smoked fish dip.

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The first thing I will say about these items is that they are incredibly overpriced and tiny. These small cups of approximately 3oz of food are $6 and $10 each, respectively, for the cucumber and fish dip. That’s fucking dumb. The cucumber thing was good; spicy and refreshing, though very watery. But the fish dip was a fail. First, there wasn’t much fish in it, and what was there tasted a bit too canned, even with the addition of fresh fennel and celery. For $10 I’d rather just get one of their other burgers, or go buy a cheese grater and take it to my erect cock. Fucking rip off.

My wife got the Grilled Cheese Bikini, which contained both fontina and American cheeses, and came with a side of tomato “soup.” I say “soup” in quotes because it was more like shitty marinara tomato “sauce,” served in the same small cup as the apps/snacks. That was a big bummer, but at least the grilled cheese was tasty as fuck. It was buttery, crunchy and had lots of gooey cheese. Nice execution. One thing I noticed was the flake salt that they used to finish it once it came off the grill. That added an awesome flavor pop and crunch to the bread.

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I think that about covers it. So we have an interesting review here: Some really great highs (burger, grilled cheese, cocktails), but some incredibly deep lows (pricing, tomato soup, sides). Oddly enough, the burger is fairly priced at $12, considering it is far and away the best menu item that I tried. I would like to try the fried chicken sandwich next time if I go back. Anyway, now you can go there armed with the knowledge necessary to ensure a pleasant and satisfying dining experience. You’re fucking welcome.

THE HAPPIEST HOUR
121 W. 10th St.
New York, NY 10011

Minton’s Jazz Club

The story behind Minton’s jazz club is pretty great. The way it worked, back in the day, was this: Musicians would be given a free meal of soul food if they played. They were allowed to solo, as long as they could keep up with the house band. At the time, that house band was run by the great Thelonious Monk. His style was tough to keep up with for most musicians, but guys like Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis and Charlie Parker were able to hang with him when they came in to play and eat.

The joint closed in 1974, reopened in 2006, then closed again in 2010, and reopened again in late 2013. The neighborhood has undergone some dramatic changes in real estate values, demographic, businesses that operate there, etc. If I had to guess, I’d say that tho splice is not going to close again anytime soon. The music and food are just too good.

First, let’s get your appetites brewing with a little bit of battle jazz:

Now, I’ll tell you about the delicious food we ate. My wife picked up a Living Social deal for the amazing price of about $90, which included two apps, two entrees, a shared dessert, two cocktails and a jazz album to take home, on top of the great music that you get to watch and listen to while you’re there.

The first thing to come out where a pair of balls: hush puppies for an amuse. These were tasty: crunchy on the outside, pillowy on the inside.

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I started with the fried green tomatoes. Two thick, tangy slices of tomato were fried to a golden crisp and topped with hot smoked arctic char and dandelion greens, which were deftly dressed with a creole dressing. I’ve only had fried green tomatoes a few times in my life, but he addition of smoked fish on top was really incredible. It added substance, flash and style to an otherwise ordinary dish. I loved it.

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My wife had the deviled crab cake, which tasted exactly how it sounds. It was meaty and spiced, and came with some black eyed peas and celery leaves for texture and herbiness. A really nice southern take on a northeast classic.

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The music roared as we mowed through our apps…

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We sipped on a pair of delicious cocktails while enjoying the band. I had something called a prima, which consisted of sage infused rye, sorrel syrup, lemon juice, aromatic butters and agave honey. My wife had the satchmo, which was made with smoky is lay scotch, bourbon, bale syrup and bitters.

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…And soon enough the entrees were served.

I ordered the venison burger, which was topped with farm cheese, blackberry onion jam and country ham, with a side of yucca fries (I think that’s what they were).

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The burger was smoky from the country ham, and the melty cheese was thick and sharp, Everything was cut nicely by the sweet blackberry onion jam, which I think they can bottle and sell as a gourmet BBQ sauce. Really tasty. The venison wasn’t gamey or funky: It was tender and packed with robust flavor, and it was cooked to a perfect medium rare:

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Those fries though… WOW. Nice and crispy with a crunchier texture than potato. They had a good snap to them, and they were perfectly fried and seasoned.

My wife had the buttermilk fried guinea hen. This was served with a bourbon peach tea glaze, black eyed peas and pickled collared stems for a bit more crunch and punch. The meat itself was perfectly cooked. It was nice and juicy, with tons of flavor coming at you from every angle. There was even a hint of maple syrup for that chicken and waffles type of flavor.

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For dessert we had the lemon tart with blueberry sorbet and shaved fruit leather. This was nice and tangy, and the shell around the lemon curd was super light and airy. A light and refreshing way to end a great meal:

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MINTON’S JAZZ CLUB
206 W. 118th St.
New York, NY 10026

Kang Hodong Baekjeong

The delicious world of KBBQ has exploded in New York. In the last few years new places have popped up all over, and not just within K-town in NYC. I’ve seen several joints pop up out on Long Island, deep into Suffolk County. Long Island still has no Vietnamese restaurants, and the discovery of pho and banh mi by ordinary white folks started years ago. But there’s something about KBBQ that took hold fast and quick. Perhaps it is the fact that a grill is involved. The invigorating smell and smoky visuals of raw meat hitting a red hot grill just resonate with Americans. Burgers, dogs, steaks… we understand.

So all that crap aside, this place is a welcome addition to the panoply of KBBQ joints. Really nice quality stuff, not overcooked, treated just right. Let me get down to what we tried:

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On the beef angle, we had a large order, which comes with three items for $99 (a bit pricey, but I promise it is good). Sliced prime rib eye, boneless short rib, and brisket. Here they are, in that order.

Rib eye:

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Short rib:

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Kalbi marinated short rib:

Brisket:

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On the pork angle, we also got a large (3 items for $99), which consisted of jowls, thick belly and thinly sliced belly (which came out separately, pre-cooked and dressed in sauce – not for the grill).

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The sauced, pre-cooked item was a bit over-sauced and heavy to eat, but it was also last in the meal, so maybe that’s why it felt heavy. We were getting fucking full.

Aside from all the meat, we had the usual starter items that come in millions of little dishes. Kimchi, fish cakes, tofu, salad, pickled radish, etc.

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The grill even had these neat little side-channels where egg and corn + cheese were cooking as side items:

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We also ordered kimchi stew and seafood + brisket stew, both of which were a tomato base with really awesome flavor.

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And a rice “lunchbox,” which is crispy rice with kimchi, seafood, egg and sauces/spices that they shake the fuck out of for you, table side, to mix it all together:

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Lastly, I will share this pic of some of the booze we had with dinner. We must have had three bottles of the glass one (soju), and one bottle of the thing that looks like soda (bubbly, sweet rice wine). Both were awesome.

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UPDATE 7/31/17

The only thing new and different that I tried on my second visit, which was an influencer event for Instagram, was this really tasty cold spicy noodle dish. Delicious!

KANG HODONG BAEKJEONG
1 E. 32nd St.
New York, NY 10016

Heartland Brewery

I almost hate to say it, but hey – I’m not a fucking d-bag food snob. Heartland Brewery puts up a great classic cheeseburger! Excellent potato bun, good crunch from the lettuce, juiciness from the tomato, and good quality American cheese.

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It was cooked just right at medium, too, with nice texture on the crisp of the patty. This burger hit the spot for me, despite already being kinda full from apps and a beer flight.

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Fries were above average as well – good crunch and flavor, fried properly:

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Oh and their chicken + bacon mac and cheese? Fuckin’ killer.

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Lesson: Don’t knock a place just because it has the appearance of a Friday’s-esque chain restaurant and is located in the stank-ass armpit of Port Authority. If it tastes good, then that’s all that fucking matters.

HEARTLAND BREWERY
625 8th Ave.
New York, NY 10018

BV’s Grill

BV’s Grill overall score: 84

UPDATE: BV’S GRILL IS NOW CLOSED

I picked up a discounted Groupon for this place. I paid about $60 and got $100 off the bill. Check out the review:

Flavor: 8
The rib eye here was really nicely done. I was almost going to give it a nine here but I decided to go with eight because there was a bit too much scrap on the plate when I was finished. Nicely cooked, well rested, juicy, tender, flavorful and all that good shit. Check it out:

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My wife ordered the BV Burger, so I had the rare opportunity to kill two birds with one stone here: burger and steak in the same review.

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It was nicely cooked to medium, with a thick slice of lightly grilled white onion on top of the melty cheddar. The bun was soft yet strong, and the meat had a nice beefy flavor. It was definitely above average, and a very good deal for $17 with fries, in my opinion. Here’s the cut:

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Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
You’ve got a decent selection of all the main four cuts, plus some good quality beef going on here. There are some alternative cuts like flank or skirt as well.

Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portions are generous here. My steak was about 22oz, if I had to guess. Plating was pretty basic, not too fancy. The creamed spinach (pictured further below) was definitely enough for three.

Price: 9
My rib eye was still priced in the $40s, so I was happy about that, especially given the overall good quality of the meat. That, plus the Groupon deal, made this a great buy. Here’s our bill:

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Bar: 9
This place has a really awesome, spacious bar, and an outdoor patio/dining space that is really nice in the warm weather. They also stock some good quality beer on tap, like Delerium, in the event that you’re not sipping on a martini.

Specials and Other Meats: 8
There were three specials being offered, but none of them were steak. First was a two-for-one shrimp cocktail app (eight pieces instead of four). Second was a fish item, I believe. And third was this incredibly refreshing chilled watermelon soup:

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It had a hint of spice to it, along with another fruit flavor – maybe apricot? Delicious way to start the meal.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
I started with this thick slice of bacon. It was nicely cooked – soft inside, crunchy edges, and lots of piggy-flavor, as it was also a smoked applewood variety.

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The creamed spinach was the perfect texture. I thought it was the right balance of creamy/cheesy to leaf spinach. It might have needed just a touch more salt, though. Still great.

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The french fries that came with my wife’s burger were good and crispy, but they were a bit dry. Nothing special about these babies. They’re just there to fill your gut:

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We skipped dessert because we were stuffed, but there were some really enticing items, like chocolate pecan pie and soft serve ice cream (a personal favorite).

Seafood Selection: 9
There’s a ton of seafood on the menu. Lots in the apps/starters, and a fair amount of good quality cuts of fish in the entree section, as well as that special I mentioned up above. Solid showing.

Service: 9
Our waiter was great. He was attentive, fast, and really nice – same with the hosting staff. A great place to eat. The bread basket was pretty good too:

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That butter in the middle is soft, whipped and light with great seasoning. I think it is likely made in-house. It’s the best butter I’ve had at a steak joint to date.

Ambiance: 8
I actually love the layout of the place, the decor, and the brightness from the massive windows and open-concept space. I think the only down-side is the location, midtown east. I bet it does really well during the workdays, but is dead on weekends. It’s a shame too because this would be a fantastic location to do some summertime day drinking.

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DB Bistro Moderne

To celebrate my birthday this year, my wife took me to DB to try their famed burger. Check out a video here, from the man himself, Daniel Boulud:

I know what you’re thinking… I know, I know… NO CHEESE! and SUPER THICK! As you guys have probably figured out from reading my other burger reviews, I am a simple man when it comes to burgers. Potato bun, a few basic crunch-element toppings, a not-so-thick patty, and good old fashioned American cheese. That being the case, you’d think I would absolutely despise this burger. I loved it, and I think the reason is because I think of it as something other than a burger. This is an entree, not a sandwich. It’s a huge meatball between two pieces of onion, parmesan and potato bread. I ate half with my hands, and the other half with a fork and knife. The side and shape are just unwieldy for a hand-held sandwich. And the lack of cheese was not really an issue, given how juicy, tender and full of flavor all the other elements were in this burger.

Anyway take a look at this fucker. It comes pre-sliced. Inside is foie gras and braised short rib.

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If it weren’t so freaking tasty, I would be pissed at this burger, similar to the way I felt about the black label burger at Minetta Tavern that is typically served sans cheese.

The french fries were good. Not the best I’ve had. Could have been a bit m ore crisp, but they were seasoned correctly.

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Let’s back up now. We started with some cocktails and table bread, which had an assortment of pretzel bread, olive bread and dinner rolls.

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There was even an amuse, which was a parmesan crisp with goat cheese and chives.

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The charcuterie plate was delicious. There were four different types of meats: head cheese, pate and two sausages, served with a trio of sherry mustard, dijon mustard, and whole grain. I think my favorite meat was the pate, and my favorite mustard was the sherry.

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My wife had the duck confit. It was a nice portion size, and nicely cooked. I think the skin could have gone a bit more crispy, but overall the dish was excellent. It had a really deep spice that was reminiscent of five spice with an added zing of cumin.

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For dessert we shared this lychee mousse with raspberries. It was really light and refreshing, and little bits of soft spongecake throughout. There was also some freeze-dried berries on top too that were really tart – they added a nice pop to this item.

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Last was a petite fours place. I didn’t really care for these, but the little sugary jelly think on the end was super soft and tasted like apricot.

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DB BISTRO MODERNE
City Club Hotel
55 W. 44th St.
New York, NY 10036

La Sirene

What’s more diddy than P-Diddy? Didier:

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I guess I should say WHO is more diddy than P-Diddy. Okay you’re probably confused…

Didier is the owner, chef and manager of three excellent NYC French restaurants. I’ve written a rave review of Le Village from a previous press meal, and now I’m writing one for La Sirene, the popular classical French joint on Broome Street, just east of Varick at the lower edge of Soho.

Anyway, Didier is an intense, animated guy who is really passionate about his food. Everything he serves is of superior quality and taste, and made right there in-house. After eating at two of his restaurants, I can safely say that there is nothing that the man can’t execute with flawless precision. Every app, entree and dessert I’ve tasted has ranged from far above average to excellent, with one or two “best I’ve ever had” things in there as well.

Didier focuses his energy on classic French dishes, made from family recipes that he has been honing for upwards of 30 years. Some of these dishes are so labor intensive that you wonder how the hell he could be cranking them out seven days a week. Even some of the sauces take days to prepare, all from scratch – from roasted bone stock, reduced with wine, and distilled into just a few ounces of absolute heaven in a bowl.

Other French places I have been to will have something like coq au vin or cassoulet on the menu, yet every time you go in and ask for it, they are somehow not able to make it for you. They’re “out” of cassoulet. And other French joints only serve those crazy, impossible dishes one day a week. “Monday Dinner Special: Coq au Vin.” Not served any other day of the week. This is not the case at La Sirene. Didier cranks these fucks out like a machine, and they are all amazing, and available every damn day for hundreds of diners. That is quite impressive, to say the least.

So let’s get right down to business, shall we?

La Sirene recently acquired a liquor license (it used to be solely BYOB), so we started with some Spanish wine: Temperanillo (red) and Airen (white). Both were smooth, but I tend to gravitate toward red in general.

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The table bread is all made in-house, and is a rustic farmhouse style with a crusty outside and a soft, fluffy, absorbent inside that’s excellent for dipping into the sauces that come with the mussels.

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While I got to taste a little bit of everything that each of the five press diners ate, I will try to just focus on the items that my wife and I ordered – really because I ate more of those items than the others.

First was the sauteed baby octopus. This was simply tossed with garlic, parsley, tomato, olive oil and mushrooms, and served warm on a bed of mixed greens. The ‘pus was perfectly cooked. Nice and tender, with great flavors. Although one doesn’t exactly associate this sort of dish with classic French cuisine (it sounds more Mediterranean / Greek-Italian), it was a definite crowd pleaser. Everyone liked it.

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My wife had the Creole mussels, which were served in a creamy tomato and chorizo broth with herbs. We liked this a whole lot better than the other mussel dish we tried, which was “Rochelaises” style, with curry and apples. The chorizo just goes so well with shellfish, and I was sopping up that amazing sauce with bread for a while after the mussels were fully devoured.

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When in France, do as the French do: Eat snails. These little shits were so damned tasty. Buttery, garlicky, herby and tender. I could easily put down three dozen of these like nothing. Didier’s escargot is a must-try, and the best version of the dish that I’ve ever had.

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The entrees were spectacular. Until this meal, I had never tried cassoulet. I think I might have just spoiled myself with this first. My expectations and standards on future cassoulet meals are now way too high, thanks to Didier. It’s like having a rib eye at Del Frisco’s for the first steak of your life. While I have nothing to which to compare Didier’s cassoulet, I can safely say that it is amazing. Behold, my new favorite French dish:

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It was so hearty and packed with flavor. So many different types of meat were happily co-mingling in this rustic dish. It was like a dream-come-true. Inside was a delicious potpourri of cannellini beans, carrots, tomatoes, garlic, duck confit, slab bacon and pork sausage, all braised with duck fat, white wine stock and foie gras jus. Come on… And on top was an array of homemade bread crumbs that were broiled to crispy perfection, so that every bite of this dish had texture versatility as well as flavor variety.

It was difficult to pull myself away from that cassolet. It was my wife’s dish. I, of course, had steak. At first I was conflicted: should I order the hanger steak, one of Didier’s signature items, or the “Tournedos Rossini,” a signature filet mignon item? BOTH STEAK and BOTH SIGNATURE DISHES! It was like Sophie’s Choice for me, except, unlike Sophie, (SPOILER ALERT) I didn’t have to hand one of my children over to the Nazis to save mine and my other child’s lives.

Okay, so after much back-and-forth, I quietly resolved that I would just come back again soon for the hanger steak. I ordered the “Tournedos Rossini,” which is filet mignon, topped with fois gras, truffles and a shallot/port wine reduction sauce.

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This was nothing short of decadent. The fois gras added that much needed fat element back into the cut of tenderloin. So good. And it was expertly cooked to medium rare as well.

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I was thoroughly impressed. For a non-steakhouse, this place does an excellent job with the world’s most prized and sought-after beef cut. Bravo!

Our entrees were served with a nice side plate of veggies. Celery with breadcrumbs and garlic (my favorite of the four), butternut squash, green beans (really fucking delicious, by the way – how on earth does one make green beans so damned good), and carrot puree. This plate comes with each entree, but sometimes Didier will mix up the contents depending on what’s fresh and in season.

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Dessert is such a treat when you’re at a place that really knows what the fuck they’re doing in the kitchen. La Sirene is one of those places. We tried five different desserts, and I made damn sure to take nice photos of each and every one, because they were all stellar.

I’ll start with the chantilly here. Essentially this was a cream puff item: puff pastry filled with vanilla whipped cream. Simple, elegant, light – and a cool, refreshing way to end a meal.

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The steakhouse man in me will always look for a creme brulee of some kind. The one offered here is a banana brulee. Custard with banana and cookie in it. Really delicious and perfectly executed, with generous chunks of very ripe and sweet bananas inside.

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This strawberry tart was actually my favorite dessert of the five. The tart crust itself was flakey, buttery and light. It was sweet, yet slightly savory, to counter-balance against the sweet strawberries, whipped cream and custard that was on top. A real winner for me. I wish I was able to eat more of this.

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My order was the profiteroles. These were essentially the same as the chantilly cream puffs, except filled with vanilla ice cream and draped in melty chocolate. Fucking awesome. And the whipped cream added that lightness that I wanted at dessert time, in addition to the sweetness.

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My wife ordered the chocolate lava cake. This was a sight to see. It comes served on a long plate consisting of three items: whipped cream, the cake itself and vanilla ice cream. See below:

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But when you cut into this baby, that ooey-gooey melty chocolate lava just oozes out of the center.

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I’m usually not a big chocolate-on-top-of-chocolate fan at dessert time, but this was a really great dish with a stunning presentation.

I think that about wraps it up. I look forward to coming back to try the other signature beef dish, the hanger steak, and I eventually plan to try out Didier’s third dining establishment, the fondue joint next door called Taureau. So far Didier is two for two with La Sirene and Le Village. Essentially he has taken victories at the Derby and Preakness, and I am interested to see if he will score the Triple Crown at Belmont. See what I did there? That’s a horse racing metaphor, because the Belmont Stakes are just a few weeks away, and we have a potential Triple Crown winner on our hands this year.

LA SIRENE
558 Broome St.
New York, NY 10013

Big Nick’s

As usual, I nailed a sweet Groupon deal for this pizza … and burger … and everything else you can imagine joint… I think $11 got me $20 worth of food.

The menu here is like a diner; TONS of shit, and you wonder how they can sling it all in such a small kitchen.

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We started with a pair of regular pizza slices (not the jumbo sized ones that they offer). It was thick with cheese, crispy and tasty. I’ve had better elsewhere, even at dollar joints, but this was satisfying.

big nick pizza

The burger was a standard diner style burger (you order “deluxe” to get lettuce, tomato, pickle and fries) – nothing too fancy. It was juicy and cooked correctly, but a little lacking overall when compared to other burger places that have been popping up and serving some seriously good shit.

big nick burger delux platter

big nick burger

big nick burger cut

Next we tried a cheese dog, which, from the description, we were expecting to be massive. It was a little underwhelming when it came to the table.

big nick dog

It was tasty on it’s own, but we added lettuce and pickle to it, from my burger platter, to jump it up a little.

French fries absolutely need to be hit with a little salt when they come out of the frier, as does any fried item, really. This place must not practice that culinary canon. My fries needed salt badly. At least they were crispy, though. I hate this style of french fry to begin with, so it was a double whammy. But when they are done correctly they can be delicious. Herbs and parmesan cheese would help big time on this kind of steak fry, in my opinion.

big nick fries

On the whole, everything was really just barely average. Maybe if Big Nick decided to focus on one aspect of the menu, instead of being so expansive like a diner, they could excel. Good little neighborhood joint that’s fine as a quick go-to place, but a little overpriced in relation to the quality, especially if you’re not presenting a Groupon.

BIG NICK’S
70 W 71st St
New York, NY 10023

Harlem Shake

Harlem Shake is a cool little diner/burger spot up on 125th & Lenox.

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Also… It’s this:

Anyway, my wife and I grabbed a sweet deal for this place through Amazon Local. I think we paid about $8 or $10 for $20 worth of food. Taking the new subway fare hike into account, though, we nearly broke even with 4 x $2.75 to get there and back for two people. So we made it worth our trip by buying a fuckload of food. Here’s an aerial view of what we ordered:

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That’s $39 worth of delicious.

First was the classic burger:

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This was constructed with two thin patties, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and special sauce. It was perfect on the soft potato bun. Really good job. A much better tasting burger than their two thin patty competitor Steak & Shake, though I’m not sure I’d venture all the way up to Harlem for this when Steak & Shake is literally a stone’s throw down Broadway from us.

Next up, the classic fried chicken sandwich:

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This had crunchy slaw on it, and pickles, but I think it was in desperate need of mayo. They have some next to the registers, so make sure you grab a packet or two if you order this. I liked it, but was sort of expecting a more juicy, thicker piece of chicken.

Let’s keep it rolling here with this amazing “jerk dog:”

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This snappy, tasty dog was topped with pickled slaw, diced jalapeños, pork rinds and jerk sauce (not to be confused with semen, jizz, boy batter, man mayo, or cum). The pork rinds added a really interesting crunch element, and the hot dog bun was of the perfect pillowy potato variety.

Our last entrée item was the cherry pepper and bacon relish grilled cheese, sandwiched between two buttery and toasty slices of good old-fashioned white bread.

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This was sweet, spicy, tangy crunchy and gooey all at once. Such a nice concoction. I’ll definitely be trying to make these at home soon.

The fries were nice. A natural cut style, nicely seasoned without going overboard, and with a decent crispy crunch to them. They could have been better, but I wasn’t complaining.

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For our first drink we had a watermelon cooler, which was delicious. I was half expecting some sugary, diabetic coma-inducing watermelon “drank,” but this was a delicious, natural tasting watermelon juice. Not too sweet, not too pulpy, and extremely refreshing. Big fan of this:

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Next, of course, was a vanilla shake. At nearly $6 I was expecting a let down, but this was a good size and it had great flavor. It was light and easily suckable – like a guy with a 2-inch pecker, and unlike some joints where they basically give you soft serve ice cream in a cup and expect you to blow an aneurism trying to suck the shit through a 3mm diameter straw. Fuck that. This was ready to go; no melt-wait time needed. Nicely executed:

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So that’s that. Hope you enjoyed my thoughts on this place. If you live nearby, it is definitely worth a visit. If, however, like me, you will need to get on public transit to make it here, then make sure you try to score a coupon first… and go with the intention of delving into a ton of grub to make it worth your trip. Go for and gorge thyself!

HARLEM SHAKE
100 W 124th St
New York, NY 10027