Category Archives: Filet Mignon

Old Homestead

Old Homestead overall score: 81

UPDATE 5/18/2023: I came back with a nice Ride & Review, which you can watch HERE:

The Prime Rib was an easy 9/10 or maybe even a 10/10. Good aged flavor. The Porterhouse was small but still tasty. The rib eye was good too. Both 7 or 8/10. No real score change here other than to say that I would come back for that prime rib any time!

UPDATE 4/27/14: I came here with my dad, my brother in law, and my nephew for a quick lunch after checking out the NY auto show. There was definitely a slight improvement since my last visit, as I bumped it two points.
We started with the sweet chili fried calamari. They were good – nice and crisp, good flavor. We had to ask for the bread basket, which was kinda strange, but the highlight of that was the raisin nut bread. Very nice.  
I had the 19oz bone-in filet, some onion rings, and the truffle mac & cheese. Big respect to our fun waiter Sarko, who guided me in the right direction to order the filet medium rare instead of rare. He explained that if it was boneless, then rare would be the way to go. However, since the bone inhibits the center from warming up fast enough, he cautioned me that some of the fat near the bone may not render properly unless I went to medium rare. It turned out perfectly. I was really happy with my hunk of red meat.
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The onion rings were a bit too juicy but otherwise really tasty. The truffle mac and cheese didn’t have the truffle abundance I was expecting, but they were still pretty yummy regardless.
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I still need to come back here for a proper dinner seating, as I feel like the experience would be a bit different for that service. But this visit definitely re-sparked my interest in the joint. Like Arnold, I’ll be back.
My wife, who is awesome, took me here for a birthday lunch after shooting some .22 rifle rounds at the pistol range. Talk about a guy’s perfect day! I thought it would be difficult to review a steakhouse based on the lunch menu, but Old Homestead basically offers the same food for lunch that they offer for dinner, the only difference being that the lunch menu is a little bit cheaper (by $2, generally, for each item) and they don’t offer some of the more massive steak cuts at lunch time (Shame – I probably would have gotten the larger cut too – oh well – their loss).

Flavor: 9 

The steak tasted great. I ordered the gotham ribeye, a bone-in 22oz cut that tasted like a prime rib that kissed the grill. It was juicy like a roast, and had a little crisp going (more would have been nice). Great taste but one point off for missing the mark with not enough crisp and a bit more non-chewable gristle than I like to see. They let it rest just the right amount of time, so there was no blood loss and it stayed very juicy.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

This place has lots of sizes and cuts available for the four main steaks. I think I counted five filet mignon items of varying preparations, sizes and bone structures. Two sizes for the ribeye (not at lunch, however), and a prime rib to boot (essentially, a slow roasted ribeye). They offer two sizes of “New York Sirloin” as well as an au poivre and a top round – not quite sure why they were calling some steaks a sirloin and not a strip. Perhaps it is from the T-bone (the lesser porterhouse, not good enough to be called a strip when cut off the bone). They also offer a “Kobe” sirloin for a big price upgrade. The porterhouse is only offered for two, which is common at many steakhouses.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

The portions here are average to above average, but they also offer items for smaller appetites. The filets ranged from 10oz (still a good size for a filet) to 18oz (biggest I’ve seen), the “sirloins” from 14oz to 18oz (a little on the average side, but not bad), and the ribeyes from 22oz to 32oz (good). Plating was nice. Usually you just see bare bones stuff at steak houses, but here they went that extra step to make the presentation pop. The tuna tartar was served with some crispy fried wanton chips, and the oysters rockefeller were served on a bed of rock salt that looked like ice, and garnished with seaweed pods. Also of note were the tots/fries – they were served in mini deep fryer baskets. Very cool (see service section as well). I took off a point because the creamed spinach was a little small, though enough for two at $7, and the tots were not numerous enough, but probably enough for one.

Price: 8

The prices are average to slightly high for NYC steak. You certainly don’t go home hungry, so that is a plus. The prices seemed to match nicely with the size and quality for the steak, so no exceptional marks here, but there were a few bad marks. First the oysters rockefeller: There were only four on the plate, which may be normal (I don’t know), but they were essentially a dollop of creamed spinach on top of an oyster and then broiled for a few minutes. Nothing spectacular. I wasn’t impressed, and I think they essentially ruined four perfectly good oysters for the high price of $17 (that’s $4.25 each, dicks). The dessert sundae was pretty expensive too at $11 for what you could get at Friendly’s for $3. The martini was a bit high at $15, the beer average at $8. Our total was $204 with tax and tip included. As for the steak ($40, actually not too bad), you get a good slab of meat for the price, and that’s all one can really ask for these days.

Bar: 7

The bar is small, but very elegant – nice wood cabinetry and wine racks up behind he serving dugout, and a nice selection of top shelf potent potables (Alex Trebek would be happy). This isn’t the kind of place I can see myself hanging out for a drink or a bite at the bar though. It is essentially just a restaurant. The martini was made perfectly, however, so that is a plus. Also the bar has some nice basket weave black & white tile flooring – real classic looking. I like that.

Specials and Other Meats: 7

Old Homestead has a narrow range of alternative meats – rack of lamb, which is semi-industry standard, and a chicken item. It would have been interesting to see a pork porterhouse or a veal chop of some kind. The word “homestead” makes me think of game too, like perhaps venison. I think this would go over well in a place like NYC, where diners are more culinarily curious. Specials were not offered, but I imagine that is because it was the lunch hour. They DO offer some secret menu items that you need to know about in advance though, like the really awesome sounding burger specials. Look into it, asshole. You won’t be let down.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

Before we even came here, I knew what I was ordering because I looked at the menu online. I’d never had oysters rockefeller until now. I was always the kind of guy who ate them raw and raw only. Cooking an oyster is blasphemy! Sadly I have not turned a corner; I didn’t like the oysters, but everything else was pretty good. The oysters had some bits of shell in them, and the topping was just a blob of creamed spinach – no special care was given to make them different. My wife had the tuna tartar, which was very nice, served with avocado mixed into it, but it was not as good as Primehouse’s take on the dish. To go with the steak, of course, we had creamed spinach; it was just average: nothing to write about (though I just did). The steak came with a mound of fried onions, which were nice and crisp and flavorful. We also ordered the “Kobe” slab bacon, which was sort-of out of place based on the flavor profile. It was really charred, smokey and piggy. It had some rubbery fat on it, but it was really delicious. It just felt so “BBQ” that it almost seemed like it was from a different restaurant. It was tough to mix that flavor (which was awesome by the way) with the steak flavors. Tots were crispy and nice – a fun alternative to fries. For dessert we had the drug store old fashioned sundae. That was pretty yummy, and I found myself continually digging into it even though I was stuffed.

Seafood Selection: 8

This section of my reviews is starting to become increasingly important to me, since my wife has been staying away from red meats after her gallbladder surgery. Old Homestead offers a nice selection of fish cuts for entrees, like salmon, tuna and sea bass, in addition to the shellfish appetizers and basic broiled lobster and crab cake crustacean fare. The sea bass was a big hunk of fish (probably 12-14oz). I was amazed that it was properly cooked through without any over- or undercooked portions. It was bold (fishy) and rich, but it had a nice crisp to it on the outside, served on a bed of green beans in a dark fish broth.

Service: 9

The waiters are all male, wearing ties and aprons. They were attentive, nice, and not in our faces. The menu says that bread will not be served unless you ask. I wasn’t going to, but my wife insisted for the integrity and consistency of the blog. So here goes: the bread was not warm, the butter was semi-solid/cool. They did have two types of bread though; a raisin nut roll, and a ciabatta type of roll. One thing I will add here: the fries and tots come in these really cool mini deep-fryer baskets lined with old fashioned newspaper print (wax paper with print on it). That was fun in terms of plating/presentation. I guess the steak sauce can go here too. And no, asshole, I didn’t put it on my steak. It was delicious however. I would use that shit for BBQ ribs or chicken any day. It had hints of orange, tamarind, horseradish, molasses and fried garlic (okay we peeked at the ingredients too). Try it.

Ambiance: 8

Old Homestead is long and narrow, unlike other steakhouses that are very large spaces. The dining room is dark. The tables are all very nice dark jacobean colored wood, and they match the paneled wainscoting that goes all the way up the wall and meets with the elegant build-out ceiling that has a fancy painted pressed-tin pattern that is illuminated by built-in up-lighting. Hanging below that are modern, Japanese looking square block lights covered in what looked like paper or tightly woven burlap. A stark contrast to the cheap, ugly rust-colored tile floor that adorns the dining room. Old Homestead – replace that shit with some nice wide-plank bamboo flooring. Come on! The bathroom was unisex for one – neat and clean, but with cheap-ass paper towels.
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OLD HOMESTEAD
56 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10011

Quality Meats

Quality Meats overall score: 94

UPDATE 4/16/14: This place just skyrocketed into the top of my list. On a whim a small gang of us misfits decided to grab a steak.

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The place was so crowded that we ended up having to sit at the charcuterie and cheese bar (formerly the ice cream and cake serving area), but it was an incredible meal. We started with some steak and tuna tartares, and an order of bone marrow. This place has, hands down, the best steak tartare I’ve ever eaten.

I seriously could have eaten JUST THAT for my entire meal, like 6 orders of it. The marrow is pretty incredible too, and the tuna tartare was nice, cool, fresh, and peppery.

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The meal kept getting progressively better. The steaks came out. three of us got rib eyes, and one of us got a filet. Let me start with the filet: I retract all comments previously made about filets being for pussies and broads. When my buddy was ordering his filet, I heard him throwing around words like “bloody” and phrases like “black and blue” and “cold inside.” I think he even suggested they just torch the outside to get a crust, and bring the thing over still pulsing in the final clutches of life. So when it came over I was interested to see how it looked.

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Looks marvelous! I had a bite. Best filet to date, and I am not exaggerating just because I had three martinis. From now on I am ordering my filets this way. Awesome. Juicy, flavorful, soft, well seasoned.

So now for the rib eye. Check out the slab of dinosaur meat on this puppy:

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As I predicted (below, in earlier review), the single cut rib steak at 24oz is MUCH better than the large format 64oz cut. It cooks more evenly, and it has a better ratio of crust to soft inside. The super thick steaks often get over-cooked on the outside and under-cooked on the inside. This one was perfect in every way. Do you see anything left? Yes – I even picked up the bone and chewed off the gristle.

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On the side we had some cheese gnocchi (below), creamed spinach, and baby potatoes (on plate above). All were delicious. The creamed spinach was just right; not overwhelmed with salt and just the right amount of creaminess.

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I guess that pretty much wraps it up. OH WAIT! The guy working the cheese and cuts counter was named Danny. Really awesome guy and he gave us a plate of four assorted cheeses. All were really fantastic but the blue cheese was my favorite.

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This place is one of my new top steak joints. Please do yourself a favor and get the fuck over there ASAP.

My wife and I dined at Quality Meats once before I started reviewing steakhouses. I remember thinking it was a pretty good spot, and liking the massive bone that came attached to my ribeye. At the time I remember liking Smith & Wollensky better. By the way this place is owned by the same people as Smith & Wollensky, as well as Maloney & Porcelli; so right off the bat you know you are stepping into a place that knows what’s up. This time around we went with a friend of ours to give it the full Johnny Prime rundown.

Flavor: 10

On my first go at QM, I had the bone-in ribeye. I remember being impressed with the size of it, and the huge frenched bone – it was like an axe. My wife had a trio of filets that time. I wasn’t blown away by that, but I do remember liking the ribeye. This time me and the other ass-kicking manimal at the table split a 64oz ribeye for two, and my wife had a seafood tower. The meat was delicious. While it is difficult to ensure even cooking throughout such a huge hunk of meat, Quality Meats did a pretty damn good job. There was only one spot where the meat was a little too under, and not seasoned enough (in the center), and portions of the fat cap were a bit too salty and overcooked. However, if you combined a bite of each, it was a perfect medium. In hindsight it might have been better to go with two 24oz ribeyes (one each), but I was certainly impressed with the flavor. There was a distinct char on the meat, crispy edges, and an abundance of rosemary flavor, which after a while I thought was too much. In fact rosemary seemed to be pretty much the theme of the meal. It was also baked into the table breads. See below – there is a massive sprig of rosemary sticking out of the meat. You will also notice it is chopped up on the bread as well. This isn’t necessarily BAD; I like the aroma and flavor of rosemary, but I DO NOT like the actual needles themselves. They bother me. They also served the steak with a really vinegary mushroom and onion mix. They were black and just way too overpowering; we avoided that shit like the plague.

Strip & Porterhouse were both great. 9/10.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10

There is a lot to choose from here, and I like that. A porterhouse for two was on special, as was a bone-in filet, so that makes up for what isn’t on the standard menu. Otherwise there’s a great selection: a regular filet, a trio of filets, a “sirloin” (Why am I starting to get used to steakhouses cheaping out and putting aged sirloin on the menu instead of a real strip?), a hanger, a ribeye, and a ribeye for two. I was going to take a point off for having sirloin instead of strip, but given the fact that they have a double ribeye AND a hanger, I am graciously awarding the full score here. They also have several nice alternative meats if beef isn’t your thing (you know, if you’re an asshole).

Portion Size & Plating: 10

The sizes are as follows: 12oz filet; 18oz bone-in sirloin; 24oz bone-in ribeye; 64oz double ribeye. These are on the upper end of the spectrum. Well played.

Price: 9

Our total bill came to just over $300; not bad at all. To top it off we had a $100 gift card from spending so much money with our AMEX card. POINTS = MEAT! Otherwise the steaks are average priced, with the double ribeye being a bit more per person than a normal cut of meat. We ended up paying about $255 for everything, with the tip included and the $100 deducted. Check out the breakdown of the original bill below:

Bar: 8

The bar was a lot more “hopping” than I thought it would be. A solid crowd despite it not being a big bar. The bar itself has a white marble top, and it feels like you are at a butcher’s counter. They made a good martini with three pit-in Castelvetrano olives skewered as garnish; my favorite. They also had a great selection of whiskeys and bourbons. The bartender was very friendly, and he even tried his best to make a Pimm’s Cup for my wife despite not having all the required liquors to make it. Quality Meats also has a bunch of great beers. They offer some good old fashioned cans of PBR, as well as some higher end beers; a good mix. I tried a “Quality Beer,” which was a nice, round, non-bitter, amber colored beer specially brewed by the Magic Hat company. They also keep a truncated drinks and desserts menu by the bar for ordering booze, desserts or charcuterie (a nice selection of four different cured meats and four different cheeses), which is the same menu they give you for dessert. Despite all of this awesomeness, I just can’t see myself hanging out too often at the bar here.

 

Specials and Other Meats: 10

On special for beef they had a porterhouse for two, and a bone-in “filet.” They also had a soft shell crab appetizer, which was delicious. Light, golden, and crispy. They also had a Brazilian lobster tail (a lobster tail with no vagina hair) and an “Olympia” west coast oyster. As far as other meats go, they have a veal chop, roasted chicken, baby back ribs, and roasted veal shank for two. Perhaps a pork chop or a lamb dish would round this out better. Maybe make it a lamb shank or lamb chops instead of a second veal dish? In any case – a great showing on the beef specials here helped to bump the score up for choice of cuts available.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10

We ordered the special soft shell crab, a dozen oysters (two of each kind they had, including the one on special), bone marrow, and steak tartare to start. As I said above the crab was delicious. I was absolutely blown away by the steak tartare, though. The meat was served in a little bowl with an egg yolk sitting on top, just waiting to be busted open and mushed around the meat. The plate came with a wooden spatula of salt, herbs, and a nice mustard that get dumped in and also slathered around the meat. It was unbelievable. The oysters were all very unique in flavor. I tend to like the less fishy tasting ones (usually I prefer east coast in general or Bluepoint specifically). My friend and I each had three east and three west a piece (total of 12 at the table). The marrow was delicious too; nice to spread on some of the toasted bread. On the side we had creamed spinach, which was served in what looked like a bread bowl popover. It was average in comparison to other places, but still good enough to keep shoveling down my throat. For dessert I had a jalapeno and cucumber sparkling lemonade. It was awesome. We also shared a “cookie monster” ice cream (oreo, cookie cough, and chocolate chip cookies mixed into a light, soft chocolate ice cream), and tropical fruit sorbet (a mix of a bunch of flavors sitting on top of fresh fruit and topped with a dried, crispy pineapple chip). The sorbet was the winner there. As a matter of fact they have a little bar set up, which at first I thought was a sushi bar, right near the front entrance, where you can score “Quality Cakes” and all their special ice creams for take-out. Pretty sweet.

Seafood Selection: 8

For fish they have tuna, Scottish salmon and black sea bass; a little basic in terms of entrees, but there was a lobster tail on special to fill it out a little. If you don’t like the preparations they have on the menu for the entree fish items, you can also opt for simply roasted. They have a nice selection of oysters on the app menu ($3 a piece), two sizes of shellfish bouquets, and cocktails (crab, lobster, U7 shrimp). The soft shell crab was also a special, which I mentioned above was great. The shellfish bouquet was really great. The small one was two-tiered, and it came with lobster, lump crab meat, ceviche, four massive shrimp, four oysters, four clams and tuna tartare. it rivaled the platter at Strip House, which is a feat. Worth mentioning here is that the oysters come with a great array of sauces; a traditional cocktail sauce, a cilantro cream (awesome), a mustard horseradish type, and a bowl of crispy herbs for mixing in with vinegar or sprinkling on top of the oysters. I only took points here because there was no whole lobster item and only a few basic cuts of fish for entrees. Not like it matters – you don’t come to a place called Quality Meats for a fucking slab of salmon.

Service: 10

Our waiter was awesome. In fact we sort of had two waiters throughout the night, which I thought was really attentive. The table bread was a delicious pan of bread lumps that were buttery and hot, sprinkled with fresh salt and chopped rosemary. It was baked fresh while we waited. They even sent us home with some. The most interesting part of the meal was when the waiter came over and made us the steak sauce from scratch at the table. We watched him mix everything into a mortar and pestle and start mashing away (of course he cut some rosemary right into the bowl too hahaha!). It was a great sauce – really awesome with the gigantic shrimp from the shellfish plateau. I’d put it right up there with the sauce at Frankie & Johnnie’s and Strip House, but with extra points for the display and interactive dining experience. Also of note was the little freebie of traditional and white watermelon cubes, served with a really interesting flavored salt for dipping.

sauce making and bread/fruit freebies

Ambiance: 9

The decor in here is modern slaughterhouse chic: something that Patrick Bateman would like. Upscale horror. They have dim filament bulbs hanging overhead, butcher’s knives and meat hooks hanging on the wall, and an overall cool look to the place. Where we sat, there was horizontal wood slatted walls. The wood almost looks like flooring. Other spots have meat hook lights dangling overhead (custom fixtures) and exposed brick walls with grooves or nooks in them for candles or decorations. It has more of a lounge feel than most places, more trendy. The bathroom, for example, has dim lighting and flickering candles. It’s got to be one of the most romantic places for someone to take a shit. The walls in there are lined with cloth towels – really awesome. The front doors are great, heavy, old wooden gates. When you walk in, you almost feel like you are walking into a butcher’s shop with the tiled walls and glass. It’s even like heading down into a really clean, yummy smelling subway station. Cool place. Not traditional, but well played.

QUALITY MEATS
57 W. 58th St.
New York, NY 10019

Dylan Prime Revisited

Dylan Prime overall score: 95

NOTE: THIS JOINT IS NOW CLOSED!!!

I had been meaning to get back to Dylan Prime since I started this blog. I had a great steak there but the rest of the meal was just average. That was back in 2011. But now, they have a new chef, the place was renovated, and the menu is different. Check out the results:

Flavor: 10
This place remains a solid 10 for flavor. They have 1600 degree ovens that char up a beautiful crisp on the meat, locking in all those essential juices. Almost every bit of meat we had was perfectly cooked. And since I was with a group of 5 guys, We were able to sample all the major cuts: strip, filet, and rib eye. Check out the images (apologies for not getting a shot of the strip – I was too busy taking down a 42oz rib eye by myself):

rib eye for two
rib eye for two
filet
filet

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10
The meats here are aged at least a month, and every cut is available in both single and double portions. The single cuts are boneless, the double cuts are bone-in. There was lots of delicious fat jelly along the edges of my rib eye that just melted in my mouth. Awesome. Only negative was a little bit of over cooking on the edges and where there was heavy fat content, but I guess that can happen with such thick cuts of beef. It is this exact problem that I was tempted to try to avoid by going with the rib eye for one. I view this as a cut issue rather than a flavor or cooking preparation issue. My suggestion would be for Dylan Prime to add something like a 22oz bone in rib-eye to the menu, that way there is some heft to the single cut, but also a bone to ensure added flavor and good inner cooking temps without over cooking the edges.

Portion Size & Plating: 10
Portion size has improved greatly here. At 16oz the single cut rib eye is still a bit small for a fatty like me, but since it is off the bone it is a nice size. The plating is great: elegant, but not overboard with the fancy bullshit. You’ll see in the app pics what I mean.

Price: 10
For 5 people we only ended up spending $150 a piece with tip included. That was a great deal. Check out the details below and you will see that the staff hooked us up with some freebie apps and sides to try out:

William Price
William Price

Bar: 10
The bars have remained relatively unchanged, but I bumped the score up because of the people working them. In the main bar, we had the pleasure of meeting a gent named Johnny Champagne (Champaign is the actual spelling, I think). No joke – that is his REAL name. It was like meeting my long lost, more elegant and clean shaven cousin. The group of us got to talking about old school rap and the music industry, of all things. Cool guy, and he was an excellent bartender. In the dining room there’s another small bar, where Nico mixes up concoctions for the diners. At the end of our meal, Nico brought out a really great flight of scotches that took us across the map of Scotland from smooth to peaty. He really knew his stuff, and if he ever finds his way to this page, I hope he checks out my write up of the whiskey advent calendar that we were discussing.

Johnny Champagne
Johnny Champagne
main bar
main bar
flight of single malts
flight of single malts

Specials and Other Meats: 9

There weren’t too many specials, other than some oysters from east and west coast. Lamb, chicken, pork, duck and even oxtail graced the menu as far as alternameats go. Quite a nice selection.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We had a crazy array of apps and sides. I’ll give a quick description of each photo below, and then do a little explanation of the others that I didn’t get pics of.

First was a roasted bone marrow with old bay buttered toast and fried oysters. This was probably my favorite part of the meal. The bone marrow was like meat butter/jelly. Outstanding.

bone marrow with fried oyster
bone marrow with fried oyster

The shellfish platter was really nice too. Some big prawns, oysters, mussels with a chive cream (amazing), lobster, and crab claws.

shellfish platter
shellfish platter

My charred octopus was perfectly cooked, nice texture with the right chew and snap to it.

charred octopus
charred octopus

We also had creamed kale, which in my opinion was a little over-salted, but the texture was much nicer than the typical feel of gloppy creamed spinach. It had a little more substance to it without tasting like the usual shit kale flavor. The chef also hooked us up with some freebies, some of which were excellent, and some of which were just okay. The trotter baked beans were good and smokey, and had an interesting bread crumb crisp on top. The buttermilk mashed potatoes weren’t anything to write home about, but the cheese fondue mashed potatoes were stellar: another highlight of the meal (aside from the meat, of course). They reminded me of my mom’s mozzarella mashed potatoes. The chef also sent over a lobster pot pie, which I wasn’t a fan of. Some of the other guys liked it though. To me it tasted a little too much like half decent Manhattan clam chowder in a pie crust. The other low point for me was the brussels sprouts. They were a little too heavy on the vinegar for my liking, but, again, some of the other guys loved them. Sorry I didn’t get pics of all these delightful items.

Seafood Selection: 8
There’s arctic char and monkfish in terms of entree seafood items. The app menu, though, is where the seafood really shines here.

Service: 10
Cory, our waiter, was tremendous. He knew his meats, had great menu suggestions for us, and was really attentive and genuine. My buddy remarked that when I got up to take a leak, which took all of 30 seconds, my napkin was promptly folded for me for my return. Rob, the manager, was a real gentleman, and checked in on us here and there to make sure we were happy, and to shoot the shit with us. I had lots of questions for him about the restaurant transformation, and he was happy and eager to discuss it all with me. Great staff all around, from bar, to front of the house, to wait staff, to kitchen.

Ambiance: 10
I love the look and feel of this place. It’s trendy and new, but still manly and bold. The wood floors are amazing, and the high ceilings and thoroughly “Tribeca” walls are just gorgeous. They even added a cool little chef’s table which you can see at the entrance. It has a wall of windows where you can peek into the kitchen to see what’s cooking.

view from the chef's table
view from the chef’s table

Gallaghers – NEW & IMPROVED

Gallaghers overall score: 95

Gallaghers had recently closed down, was repurchased, renovated, and now has reopened, returning a once-considered-to-be NYC staple in the steakhouse world to its former glory. It had fallen on ill times for a while before it closed. I went a few years ago and was disappointed (if you are curious, the old, defunct review is HERE). But now, with a new chef, decor upgrades, etc – it is BACK with a vengeance. I was totally blown away by the improvements they made, so I figured I would write an entirely new entry for the joint. Out with the old, in with the new.

Flavor: 9
We tried the rib eye and the marrow crusted filet. Both were incredible. I hate to say it, but I think the filet packed more of a punch than the rib eye in terms of flavor; probably because of the smashed, roasted garlic that was spread on top, and the amazing quality of the fat that was introduced back into the meat via the marrow. The rib eye was perfectly cooked, with a great sear on the outside that locked in the juicy pinkness inside. I found it to be just a hair under seasoned though, so decided to hold back on giving full points on flavor. Check out the pics. As you can see, the filet came with a little side of roasted marrow as well, and that was topped with a crunchy bread crumb crust to give it texture. Fantastic.

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Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10
Everything here is top notch quality. I mean, fuck, you can see it right in the window as it ages. They offer a porterhouse, two versions of a strip, a rib eye, a prime rib, a chopped steak, and several sizes and varieties of filet.

Portion Size & Plating: 10
Portions are excellent. The filet is basically 10oz or 14oz, which is pretty good for the vagina cut. The rib eye was around 20oz, probably more, if I had to guess. Side items and apps were good sizes too, and not as overpriced as one might expect from a prime theater district location. Plating was impressive; simple yet artful and elegant. Check out the crudo and carpaccio apps below. Gorgeous.

Price: 8
Obviously the cost is a bit inflated because of the location; I don’t even want to know what this place pays out in rent every month. You get a great meal for the money though, so it’s worth the splurge. Here’s the bill – see for yourself:

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Bar: 10
This is a bar of legendary status. It’s been around since the late 20’s. If you haven’t been there, please do yourself a favor and go immediately. They mix a fine martini, and the bartender Leo is awesome: a true master of mixing. I even tried an old fashioned from the cocktail menu and it was done incredibly.

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Specials and Other Meats: 9
They didn’t read any specials to us, but everything is special here. I am really impressed with the turn-around this place made. Bravo. As for other meats, they offer veal, lamb, and chicken. They pulled the pork item they used to serve (no big deal), but they do offer some alternative beef cuts like the chopped steak (glorified burger) and the prime rib (rib eye for women). And I mentioned above the several different types of filet you can order, but I will list them here for you: blue cheese crust, marrow crust, pepper/Makers Mark crust, mushroom garlic butter, sweet chili rubbed, porcini and coffee rubbed, and cajun rubbed.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
We tried a few items: the hamachi crudo, the veal carpaccio, and the french onion soup, to start. The hamachi was crisp, clean and really nicely plated. The yuzu jalapeno dressing really punched it up. The veal carpaccio was so light and delicate. It was amazing. I didn’t care much for the beets, but hey, I loved it otherwise. The french onion soup was nicely executed. It wasn’t too heavy or overly salty, yet it still packed great flavor.

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Dessert and after dinner drinks came to us on the house, which was just incredible. We had a sampling. We had the key lime pie, which was my favorite of the bunch, the banana cream pie (which came with a brulee’d banana), and the chocolate cake. They look every bit as good as they tasted. And for a guy like me who generally isn’t into sweets as much as others, they were not overly sweet – they were just right.

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Seafood Selection: 9
There’s a good amount to choose from all over the menu. I like the nod to the man’s seafood steak: the swordfish, steak of the sea. Well played. We had a great seat near the open concept kitchen as well, so we got to drool over the shellfish display:

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Service: 10
Impeccable. What an amazing group of people. Everyone. Hostesses, management, wait staff, kitchen team – all great people. Just to give a tribute, Nick & Caesar felt like family, had really great menu recommendations for us, and were attentive and genuinely nice guys. Nick is truly a work horse. The guy commutes well over an hour to get there, and I was happy to know he’s been serving guests at Gallaghers for 25 years. Awesome. The managers Charlie and James really went above and beyond and gave us way too much shit on the house and made us feel like kings. This place is really something else, and it is precisely because of the amazing staff that runs the joint. I also had the pleasure of meeting the chef Allen (forgive my spelling if it is wrong) as well. He was focused back there, but really happy to know that the guests were enjoying the new Gallaghers. His food was really delicious, and it was awesome that he let me back there to ogle his work station. Right as I snapped this photo of the coal fired brick oven, a massive tray of steaks came out to get fired up. My mouth dropped with joy. Wish I got a shot of that.

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Since I have to mention the bread: good crisp bread, nice spreadable butter.

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Ambiance: 10
This place is historic. The remodel preserved all that great history but gave it a modern, clean feel. You still know you’re in an old steakhouse, like Keens, but you don’t have that musty, stale, dark atmosphere. The decor is classy, sophisticated, and loaded with history. Check out the open concept in the rear, where we sat. You can see right into the kitchen, and it’s bright and clean in there. State of the art.

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But wait a fucking minute… What’s the first thing you see when you walk up to this restaurant off the street? MEAT. GLORIOUS MEAT!!! Just the meat locker window alone makes this place a stand-out joint in a city flooded with steakhouses. Are you fucking kidding me? This room is heaven. HEAVEN!

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And what review would be complete without a discussion of “the office” – you know, where the magic happens. Clean, over-sized urinals, because, lets face it, men who dine here have over-sized cocks. Fine marble everywhere, nice tile work. Cloth towels to dry your hands after. Nice.

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My wife and I also came in with my parents for restaurant week, January 2016. Well, I ordered a strip from the regular menu, but everyone else ordered off the price fix lunch menu. Here’s my steak – absolute perfection, and very good butchering/trimming – ZERO GRISTLE! This was a 10/10.

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I grabbed one of my mom’s eggs… which I suppose I did as a sperm as well, some 38 years ago… but this time instead of burrowing my head into it, I put it on top of my steak:

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I also put down some fries with it, and then ate bacon for dessert.

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Okay so the main reason for this update is the restaurant week deal. For $25 you get an app/salad, an entree and a dessert. My wife got a wedge salad, lamb chops and cheesecake. Great price!

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For $10 more you can get a 10oz filet, which is still a great deal, but they do also offer a sliced filet with peppers and onions for the same $25 price point. I guess it is smaller.

My mom got the split pea and ham soup to start, and prime rib hash browns with poached eggs for her entree:

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The table started with this new chilled octopus salad too, served with onions and tomatoes. Very tender, but it still had a great char on the outside.

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UPDATE 6/2/18

Prime Rib: 9/10

Porterhouse: 8/10

I also took down their monster veal parm. This thing is massive.

While I prefer the parms at many other places, there’s something to be said about the sheer size of this thing. It was probably about 32oz.

Veal Chop: 9/10

Burger

This could be a star. The patty has some of the most dry aged flavor I’ve ever had on a burger. It just needed a better bun to hold up to the juices and thickness of the burger, and it also needed more salt. Available only at lunch time.

Prime Rib Sandwich

This is awesome. Available only at lunch time.

GALLAGHER’S
228 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

American Cut

AMERICAN CUT OVERALL SCORE: 94

After having one of the best meals of my life at Marc Forgione, I had to check this place out when I heard the iron chef was opening a steakhouse. Staying true to his innovative spirit, Chef Forgione excited us in every course with his unique dishes and menu items. Everything – from the cocktail menu at the bar, to the apps, entrees and desserts – has his envelope-pushing signature on it. I love that about his food. See below:

Flavor: 10

I had the NYC cut rib eye, which was a 20oz bone-in cut that was seasoned with pastrami spices (mainly mustard seed and rye seed). It was definitely different and unique. I loved it for the first half of the steak, but on the back end I was kinda just craving a regular steak taste. But the meat was cooked perfectly, it was juicy and tender, and it had great char and crust. Bravo for thinking outside the box on this cut. On a second trip I shared the rib eye for two with a friend and my wife. It was perfectly cooked, and absolutely delicious. I also got to taste a bit of the filet mignon from another friend who ordered it. Very juuicy and tender, with great seasoning.

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new york cut (pastrami spice)
rib eye for two
rib eye for two
filet
filet

 

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10

The quality is all fantastic from what I could tell; all aged for many weeks. They had several different steaks for two to choose from (rib eye, porterhouse), a standalone strip, a standalone rib eye (the one I had), a filet (plus one on special), a hanger steak, and a wagyu rib eye.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

The sizes here are good: 20oz for the rib eye, 14oz for the strip, 10oz for both the hanger and filet, 42oz for the rib eye for two, and 40oz for the porterhouse. Plating was nice – basic, elegant, but not overly fancy. A word of caution: the rib eye for two has a lot of bone on it – tomahawk style. I could probably take it down by myself, but if you load up on apps and sides, you will be okay with sharing it.

Price: 9

The steaks are very fair in price ($44 for the rib eye), but I thought some of the apps were a little too pricey. For example, the chili lobster was $27 and it was, at best, a half of a 1-pound lobster. I’ve had bigger and better lobsters for $3.99/lb from my local grocery store; it WAS really tasty though, and you are paying for the work that goes into the preparation of this dish. Also the bacon – two thick cut slabs is $16. A bit expensive. Both dishes were yummy though (see below). On the plus side, I had $100 from a contest I won on Tabelog for my restaurant reviews, so I used that toward the bill.

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Bar: 9

The bar is nice here. It’s set back behind the greeting station, but it’s a good set up, and it attracts a lot of people who are out for the night, regardless of whether they are eating at the restaurant. It’s a fun place. They have a great cocktail menu with some really nice, interesting things. My wife tried a fig margarita and an artichoke sour. Both were good in my opinion, but the artichoke cocktail was a little too bitter in the back end of each sip. They mixed a good martini, but the martini could definitely benefit from some better quality olives. With dessert I tried the homemade sambuca: it was nice and potent, with strong hints of vanilla, ginger and coffee.

artichoke sour
artichoke sour
homemade sambuca
homemade sambuca

Specials & Other Meats: 10

Our waitress offered us three specials: a baby greens salad with squash, a 7oz filet with hunter’s sauce (reduced red wine, bacon, mushroom), and a brussels sprouts with pearl onions side dish. We didn’t try any because we were too enticed by the regular menu items. In the “other meats” department they offer a braised short rib; lamb, veal, and pork porterhouses; a clove chicken; and as I said above some wagyu and alternative cuts like hanger. I guess I’ll mention it here – why he fuck not… the steak sauce was nice and tangy, and would go well with any meat. My steak was heavily spiced with the pastrami stuff, so I didn’t use it, but it might be good on something like chicken. I like the cool old-timey apothecary bottle it was presented in too:

steak sauce
steak sauce

Apps Sides & Dessert: 8

We started with three items: bacon, octopus, and steak tartare. The steak tartare was a bit too tangy and vinegary for our liking. It came with a soft-boiled, pickled quail egg that sat at the bottom of the meat. It was served with toasted bread and homemade sweet pickles. Overall it was just too sour and salty for our taste, but we did eat it all.

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tartare

The bacon was delicious. Crispy outside, soft and fatty inside, great flavor. Just a bit pricey as I mentioned before. It was topped with a nice sort of onion marmalade:

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bacon

Here’s a shot of the bone marrow app, which my wife tried on a second visit. Gorgeous and stunning, and really fucking delicious:

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bone marrow

The octopus was excellent. I’ve had better at a local Italian place on Long Island, but that place is hit or miss and I really liked the array of different flavors that came through with each bite here. Olive oil, shaved celery, roasted red peppers, lemon and garlic. It was great, and super soft:

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puss o’ the oct

On the side we had the sunchoked spinach. it was a nice take on creamed spinach. I love the flavor of sunchoke so I was excited to try this. They put some fontina cheese on top to give it the extra salt and cream, but I thought maybe half or three-quarters of the amount of cheese would have been plenty.

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sunchoked spinach

For dessert we tried the AC car bomb – Guinness ice cream on a bed of chocolate bread pudding and topped with a Jameson caramel. It was delicious, even though we were already stuffed.

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AC car bomb

 

On the second trip we had the crackerjack sundae – fun, but a bit too sweet:

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crackerjack sundae

Seafood Selection: 9

They had a lot to choose from for fish: planked salmon, swordfish, halibut, and a bunch of goodies over on the app side of the menu like shellfish and seafood platters. We tried the chili lobster, which seems to thread its way through both the app and main course sides of the menu. It had a great buttery, spicy flavor in the broth, but the app portion was a bit too small for $27 (as mentioned above, a half of a 1-pound lobster at best).

chili lobster
chili lobster

Service: 10

Everyone was great here. Our waitress Sonja was helpful, informative, friendly, and attentive. So were the bus men and the management. They all dress in nice grey suit vests with ties, and they swoop in like hawks when you finish up with a plate or if you need water or anything. At the start of the meal, they bring over some really nice, warm “everything biscuits” with a vegetable butter. Nice way to start the meat-a-thon. These things are addictive though, so be careful not to spoil your appetite before you even get your apps!

everything biscuits & booze
everything biscuits & booze

At the end of the meal they even had some nice snack sized freebies to munch on while paying the bill (think elevated girls scout cookies):

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free cookies

Ambiance: 10

The art deco decor was nice and warm for a change. The seating is all top notch, club style arm-chairs, and there’s plenty of room at the tables. The bathrooms are fitted with small circular tiles on the floor, marble all over the rest, with big, raised urinals and tall pedestal sinks. Very nice smell for a shitter too, I must say. The cutlery was nice too – take a look (his new knives even have his signature etched into the blade):

THAT's not a knife... THIS is a knife.
THAT’s not a knife… THIS is a knife.

AMERICAN CUT
363 Greenwich St.
New York, NY 10013

Bobby Van’s (East 54th Street)

Bobby Van’s overall score: 84

Flavor: 10
So far, this location blows away the other locations. I was shocked at how well flavored and well cooked the meat was here. Hats off to the chef, and a total redemption for the brand in comparison to the other two locations I have visited. I had the ribeye, and my buddy had the filet. Both were incredible, and both of us agreed that the filet was likely one of the best either of us have ever tasted. Perfection.
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rib eye, filet

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

They’ve got it all and then some. The four basics, plus some specials and lesser cuts (corned beef, skirt, various preparations of the standard cuts, multiple sizes, etc). The quality was top notch, and the meat was treated right. You should always treat your meat right. Lube it up with some oils, rub it gently at first, etc.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was about 24oz, bone in, and the filet was 14oz. The filet also came in a “pussy size” at 10oz. The other choices were equally sizable as well. The plates were garnished with a little bit of green rubbish – not necessary in my opinion.

Price: 7

Prices are far too high for drinks here. I’ve mentioned before that Bobby Van’s is a little out of hand for drinks. Honestly – $16 for a Jameson on the rocks?  Who the fuck are you kidding? With tax and tip, a martini will run me $18-$20. Fuck that. I’d rather drink my own semen. Other than the unbelievable drink prices, the other stuff wasn’t too bad, with the exception of maybe the dessert or the espresso. The plus side to it; the food was well worth the money, especially since we were able to use a Groupon deal for “$100 gets you $200 worth of food.” Sweet.
BILL EDIT
Bar: 8
There’s a cool little bar here. Nice wood look, old style, and a decent after work crowd gathering for drinks (at $15 a pop minimum for booze, this would be a great place for gold diggers and high priced hookers to meet unsuspecting marks).
DRINKS EDIT

Specials and Other Meats: 9

They had a special in each category. The fish was halibut, the soup was black bean, the apps were oysters and seafood plateaus, and the beef was corned beef, for all the Irish folks celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. We tried none of them. The other meats included lamb, veal and chicken, and, as mentioned above, they also had some secondary beef cuts as well. Solid.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We started with the slab bacon and lump crab. The crab was great – big lumps of meat, juicy, cold, and a good portion size; probably 4oz. The bacon was tremendously portioned. Look at the amount of thick slices they give you below. It was tasty, but one or two slices were WAY too salty. On the side we had sauteed spinach and mac & cheese. They were both above average to good, especially the mac & cheese. It had a great crispy baked top. Also big portion sizes. For dessert we tried the brownie ala mode. The brownie was dry, and most definitely needed the ice cream on top to moisten it.
APPS ALL

Seafood Selection: 8

I have to be honest… other than the standard shellfish or tartare apps and the special halibut, I didn’t really notice any other fish on the menu. I also wasn’t really looking, because only a dumb broad would do something like look at the fish selection at a steakhouse. In any case, I can’t deduct any points from the base score of 8, so I will leave it at that.

Service: 7

The service was okay. When we first came in, they put us at a cramped seat close to the bar area, and the waiter was kinda short with us, rushing the drink order, etc. When we asked if we could move, he was all “oh there’s no room, we are all booked” … meanwhile the restaurant was nearly empty at 6:15pm. I looked around like “Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone? You’re booked?” A few minutes later, however, the manager came over and moved us to another table… a cramped one in the back, jammed behind a huge support column… in the empty dining room. The waiter there was better, but seemed a bit over-burdened for a half-filled house. On a side note… the bread was cold, but good quality.
Ambiance: 9
This location is better than the others. It has a classic steakhouse feel to it, although it lacks booths (all tables except for one or two half-booths – dumb). The waiters all have jackets on, all male. The decor is rustic, weathered wood, which is cool. The bathrooms are clean and decent, with thick paper towels for hand drying.
AMBIANCE EDIT

BOBBY VAN’S
131 E. 54th St.
New York, NY 10022

Desmond’s Steakhouse

Desmond’s Steakhouse overall score: 88

UPDATE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!
Flavor: 8
Desmond’s did a great job getting a crispy sear on most of the cuts we ordered, locking in the juiciness. I had the cowboy ribeye, which was tasty, but lacked a little seasoning. It was also 2-steps undercooked from what I ordered (I ordered medium and it came rare), so that’s why the score seems a bit low (7/10 for rib eye). The undercooking didn’t bother me too much, but a ribeye needs some heat for that nice fat to melt away properly. If you want to order your steak rare because you feel like you aren’t supposed to cook the meat, then order a filet. But unless the beef is serious kobe or wagyu quality, you should not feel funny ordering anything medium. On the other hand, the others in our party enjoyed their steaks very much, so that balanced it out better. The steaks all come with a complimentary sauce on the side. I tried the horseradish cream, but it was a little thicker and heavier than I had anticipated, and not “horseradishy” enough, so I didn’t dive into it all that much. Some of the other sauces were better though. During a second visit with a Gilt discount, we had the 8oz filet and 16oz sirloin. Both were delicious and well seasoned. The filet was a bit overcooked (7/10), but the sirloin was perfect (10/10). I added a point here after that better experience.
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sirloin (top), filet (bottom) with sauteed spinach and mac & cheese
sirloin (top), filet (bottom) with sauteed spinach and mac & cheese

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

They hit everything that is required here. They have a NY sirloin (which is their strip), they have a t-bone, a porterhouse for two, a boneless ribeye, a cowboy ribeye (bone in), and a filet (which they don’t even put into the red box on their menu that lists the steak cuts – awesome – it’s a reminder that a filet is not a real steak, but, instead, something for women). The menu says that all meats are aged and grain fed, and of prime quality.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was 24oz, bone in; but the regular ribeye was a boneless 20oz. As such, you might get more meat for your buck by ordering the boneless cut. They offer the strip in two sizes: 12oz and 16oz. The t-bone is 20oz. The porterhouse is 48oz for two. And the filet comes in 8 or 14oz portions. Those are good-sized slabs of meat. Plating was basic: beef + plate + complimentary sauce (either on the side of right on top). Aside from the steak sizes, everything else was pretty big too. The wedge salad was enough to give all 6 of us a try, the tomato salad was huge, and the sides were good too. Most impressive was the seafood plateau, which, for $49, was a huge bargain.

Price: 8

Prices here range from upper $40s to mid-$50s. I thought my steak was a little overpriced at $56, but not a deterrent. If I go back, I will most likely order the regular ribeye or try some other cuts and save on cash in the process. The seafood platter here is an incredible buy. For $49 you get so much shit from the sea – awesome. Check out the full monetary damage below.
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On a second visit we used a Gilt meal deal coupon. Regularly priced at $99, dinner came with a bottle of wine, an app to share for two, two steaks (limited selections), two sides, and a dessert to share. My wife got that deal for $75 with a coupon code on the Gilt website. Sweet!
Bar: 9
The bar here is really awesome, and I can definitely see it being a good place to hang out. There is a massive wrap-around, marble-topped bar, and the bartender Danny mixes some incredible cocktails. Great guy. They also have these really great cheese-baked bread sticks to nibble on while you sip. The martini was made just right, and was topped with delicious pitted castelvetranos. My favorite. Only thing missing here at the bar is a street view.
bar

Specials and Other Meats: 9

I didn’t pay much attention to the specials, but the waiter did read off a few (fish and pasta if I recall?). As far as alternative meats goes, they have braised lamb AND rack of lamb, short ribs, veal, and chicken. A wide selection! Only thing missing is pork, but you should be eating bacon in the appetizer round anyway.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
All the sides and apps we had were good. We started with a wedge salad (great chunks of thick bacon are involved – a must have). We also did a dozen east coast oysters. They were basic – good and crisp, creamy – and that’s all you can ask for, aside from Tabasco sauce. The tomato salad was huge and came with both thick slices of beefsteak tomatoes and sliced marinated grape tomatoes. The mozzarella that came with it was really great too – soft, hand-made, delicious. All it needed was some charred onion. We also chowed on the slab bacon app as well. It was different from what you would expect, but really good. At a steak joint you usually get a legit slab of bacon – basically breakfast but extra thick. But here, it was sliced in the opposite direction, no grease or fat at all, and served with an interesting apple sauce underneath. Great, but completely unexpected – also a bit small. There was also some chowing on creamed spinach (basic – nothing off the charts or memorable to me), “exotic” mushrooms (which, to me, looked like hen of woods or cloud ears – more earthy than your tyical buttons or shitakes), and hash potatoes. For dessert my wife and I shared an espresso creme brulee, which was tasty, but in some parts the sugar brulee on top was too burnt. On a second visit with a Gilt discount coupon, we split a crab cake for an appetizer. it was a bit small, but tasty. We also tried the sauteed spinach (perfectly seasoned, and not too oily or overpowering with garlic) and mac & cheese (was good but not awesome). For dessert we split a tiramisu, which had great flavor in the cream portions. The cake/cookie parts were just okay.
dessert final
tiramisu
tiramisu

Seafood Selection: 9

They offer salmon, tuna & lobster by way of “the sea” here. Basic. But the real star here for seafood is the plateau selection. The SMALL platter came with lobster (a full one), lump crab meat (at least 6oz), ceviche (at least 6oz), littleneck clams (6-8), oysters (9), mussels (4-6), and 4 razor clams (Whaaaaat!?!??  I was so stoked to see them on the plate). I can’t even imagine what the large one looks like. See the small one below, which was $49:
seafood

Service: 10

The service was incredible – really – fantastic. The staff took this score from what would’ve been an 8 back up to a 10. Our waiter, David, made excellent suggestions in terms of what to order, what to drink, etc. He even graced us with an amazing impersonation of Liam Neeson’s badass monologue from “Taken” when he heard us talking about the film (“I have a particular set of skills…”). I mentioned above in the bar section how awesome Danny was as well; really great bartender. The management was great too; genuinely interested in their diners, helpful, and informative. That said, it DID take a while to get the check to us, and my steak WAS very undercooked, but service was still excellent. Another minor gripe was that the bread was cold, and some even hard, but the butter was soft and spreadable.
Ambiance: 9
This place is really nice inside. HUGE space in an L-shape on what I guess would be considered the mezzanine floor. Only one side had windows (looking over 7th avenue), but it was still nice, unlike the set-up at Shula’s, which was also an elevated space but with NO windows. Nice decor with wood trim, big booths, marble accents, comfortable seating, etc. It looks like it has been there forever, even though it is brand new. Very classy joint too, with nice old-timey music and jazz on the speakers. The bathrooms were really clean – all marble – with great hand soaps and nice cloth hand towels to dry off after pissing all over yourself. We all wondered what this place was before it was Desmond’s, because we couldn’t imagine it being anything other than a steak place. No one seemed to know when we asked. The only problem is that when we went it was sadly empty (Saturday at 6:00pm – there until after 10:30pm). We were the only people in the restaurant, really, until about 8 or 9pm (there was a pair of people at the bar for a little while), and then only two or three tables came in throughout the evening. It’s a shame, really, because we had a great time. I hope they start packing out!

DESMOND’S STEAKHOUSE
156 W 38th St
New York, NY 10018

Smith & Wollensky

Smith & Wollensky overall score: 82

HOLY SHIT!  THIS IS THE 50th STEAKHOUSE I’VE REVIEWED! I’ve been here once before, but that was before I started doing reviews. I remember thinking it was in my short list of favorites at the time, so I needed to come back and give it the old once-over, JP style. The verdict: not quite as incredible as I remember, but still a solid dining experience.

Flavor: 7
The flavor here was good but it lacked a little seasoning or salt. My rib eye was cooked nicely, but there definitely was a little bit of bleed-out – like that time of the month when broads start to bleed from their vadges. I think if there was more crust or char on the meat, the juices would’ve been sealed in better. They definitely let the meat rest properly before serving, so they got it mostly right. They DO have a steak sauce here that they pop on the table after you order your food, but it tasted more like a BBQ sauce to me. Perhaps good on chicken, but it would fuck up a good steak, in my opinion.
28oz Bone-In Colorado Rib Steak
28oz Bone-In Colorado Rib Steak

On a return trip, I tried both the prime rib and the cajun rib eye.

The prime rib was pretty good. 7/10.

The cajun rib eye was good too, but when compared with Greenwich Steakhouse, it just doesn’t hold up. 7/10.

Porterhouse: 7/10.

“Plaque Steak” filet mignon for two: 9/10.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8

The selection here is all prime, and dry-aged in house – so it is nice quality. You can taste that in the natural flavor, and that might be why they are light on the seasoning. Some places don’t want to tarnish the purity of a nice cut. They have five different styles of filet, four of which come in two sizes. They have single sirloin cuts in two sizes AS WELL AS a sirloin for two and a NY sirloin (strip). Then there’s the Colorado rib steak, a Cajun marinated rib steak, a prime rib, and a porterhouse for two. Last, they have “sliced steak Wollensky” in two sizes as well, which is another sirloin of some kind. That’s a lot of fucking beef to choose from.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

My steak was 28oz, bone-in. That’s a good-sized slab of meat on the bone – like Lexington Steele. I didn’t ask about the sizes of the other cuts. I’m sorry about that, assholes. Plating was basic steakhouse styling.

Price: 8

Prices here range from $45 to $54 for proper cuts of steak. The Colorado rib steak, which I had, came in on the higher side of that range at $53. It’s a bit high compared to other joints. Was it worth the money? Well… I guess. I can say yes if you are a purist. If you are like me, though, and sometimes you want a little crust on your steak, then you might be better off elsewhere for this price range. I did think the crab claw was over-priced, though it was delicious. I was hoping for a little more than one claw – like maybe an entire crab.
William Price
William Price
Bar: 8
The bar here is nice, and it reminded me of Keen’s a little, though not quite as incredible. It has an old feel, it smells like a bar, and the bartender is fancied up with some nice attire and even has an Irish accent. The martini was made perfectly, and came with three unpitted castelvetrano olives instead of your normal bullshit cocktail olives. Very nice – almost worth the $14 you pay for it (before tax & tip). I will be honest though – I hate NYC’s east side, bottom to top, but especially midtown. I never hang out there, and I most likely wouldn’t go there just for the bar unless I lived in that area (which I would never do). So there you have it.
bar

Specials and Other Meats: 8

Our waiter didn’t read us any specials, so I was assuming there were none… until we overheard another waiter take a surf & turf order. I have a feeling my wife might have ordered that had we known about it. It wasn’t on the menu if it was a special – I’ll chalk that up to a service mishap. For other meats, they had braised short rib, lamb chops (which my wife ordered), roasted veal chops, and lemon pepper chicken. The lamb chops were thick and juicy, and cooked nicely – not too gamy. They came with an utterly horrific mint jelly (on the side, thank God), which tasted like melted mint gumdrops – those big, granulated sugar covered ones that you get from a crystal candy dish at your dead grandmother’s house. Mildly reminiscent of tooth paste. Fuck that shit.
lamb
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
To start, I had the colossal Florida stone crab, which to my dismay was just a claw and not a full crab. It was absolutely delicious though. My wife had the famous split pea soup, which was very smooth and tasty, but ultimately nothing to rave about. On the side we had creamed spinach. I had heard good things about it here, but I wasn’t impressed. I prefer a leafier creamed spinach in general, but I am not opposed to the pureed type. Here it was pureed, but I thought it lacked punch. It was nice when you slathered it on your meat and took a combo bite though. For dessert we shared a disappointing slice of the bourbon pecan pie. The nutty top part was nice, but the inside was a little too gelatinous and fake tasting. It just didn’t compare to the walnut pecan pie at Sparks.
pie
Coconut cake:
Carrot cake:

Seafood Selection: 9

There is a ton of seafood here. In addition to a full array of shellfish and regular fish for cold apps (tuna tartare, clams, oysters, shrimp, crab claws, crab cakes, lump crab meat, lobster, towers and plateaus), they also had a solid fish selection for entrees. Three to thirteen pound lobsters, or lobster tails by the ounce, plus a variety of preparations available for red snapper, king salmon, halibut, Dover sole, and Ahi tuna. There is even a special preparation of Dover Sole Meuniere. But seriously – three different crab apps available here?!?? I almost made some warm jellyfish in my pants. Our waiter told us that the seafood “bouquet” contained 12oz of lump crab meat (Is that a fucking mistake??!? That’s HUGE!), six jumbo shrimp, and lobster (I’m guessing half of a 1.5lb fucker). As I said above, the crab was awesome – just over-priced for a relatively small portion.
Colossal Florida Stone Crab Claw
Colossal Florida Stone Crab Claw

Service: 10

The service was great. Well – let me rephrase and elaborate. The hospitality was INCREDIBLE, but the service was just good. First the negatives – and these are very minor, mind you: (1) We weren’t told about the surf & turf item. (2) I WOULD have ordered a beer to go with my steak but the waiter was sort of unseen after he took our orders. I still had half of my martini from the bar when we sat. My wife ordered a glass of wine, but I wasn’t ever asked for a refresher on my drink. No biggie – it saved me $8. Now for the positives: (1) They didn’t charge us for the pecan pie dessert. It was “on the house” as a gift for my wife, since we let them know the dinner was to celebrate her birthday when we made the reservation. That was awesome – especially since we didn’t really like it all that much anyway. It even came with a candle on top. (2) They have a guy opening and holding the door for you on the way out, and he will even hail a cab for you. I thought this was nice and classy. (3) I was given a hot, damp towel after I finished my crab appetizer. Let’s see – what else… the table bread wasn’t warm, but it was tasty – and came with a good variety of stuff to pick at, like the crispy flat bread, raisin nut bread, Italian bread, pretzel bread, and some sesame seed rolls. The butter was a little too cold to spread on anything though.
Table Bread
Table Bread
Ambiance: 8
The wait staff are all dressed nicely – mainly men as far as I could tell – in suit jackets. The decor was that of a traditional steakhouse. It had exposed brick in some parts, and a cream/tan colored paint job on the others, with old photos and artwork hanging throughout. It reminded me of what Ben Benson was like – even down to the bull head meat sign hanging in the main dining room. The bathroom was nice and clean, all marble, with shelves of thick hand towels for drying. Apparently one guy found it nice enough to drop a deuce in there, because he was laying some underwater cable while I was taking a piss. I should have taken a picture of his pants wrapped around his ankles from under the stall door.
UPDATE: EARLY 2019
I now have a plaque on the wall here, thanks to the fact that my buddy is a waiter and the manager remembers me from way back in 2013 when he was at Quality Italian.
It’s right above the entryway into the main dining room. Anyway, a few items to report on:
The lemon-pepper roasted chicken is absolutely fucking amazing:
That is a best of 2019 dish for me.
The oysters and clams on the half were excellent. Nice and fresh.
Another best of 2019 item is the strawberry cake that comes with an ice cream cone. Crack!

SMITH & WOLLENSKY
797 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10022

Strip House (midtown)

Strip House (midtown) overall score: 95

I was really psyched to hear that Strip House just opened up a new location in midtown. Let me tell you… I had one of the best steak dinners in my life at this place. Not only did Strip House Midtown provide me with one of the best rib eyes I’ve ever sunk my teeth into, but the waiter Scott recognized my “name” on the business card I gave him while we were paying the check.  He alerted the general manager, Eric Hammer. Then Eric knew who I was, and he alerted the executive chef Michael Vignola! He helped open several Strip House locations all over the place – we got to meet him, and take a quick tour of the kitchen (which was absolutely beautiful, clean, and state-of-the-art, by the way). Check Michael out, in all his expediting glory:
It turns out that Michael knew who I was too, and they all follow this website! I was totally stoked that I was recognized as a meat man! Anyway… After we settled up the bill, me and my buddy Paul were treated to a private tour of the kitchen. Eric and Michael truly represent the future of meat and steak at Strip House, and in NYC in general. They are young, passionate, extremely skilled, and fucking spot on. Expect a long line of excellence to come from their “loins” in the future. The meat biz is looking spectacular to me right now. These guys have taken the concept of “pinnacle” to a whole other level of greatness. But the best part of this kitchen tour was that we also got to meet the REAL man behind the meat. RAPHAEL SANCHEZ. He is the guy who fired up all the steaks to perfection. Check him out – notice all the tickets dangling – it was fucking JAMMED in this place!!! Great for business!!!:

A second trip proved to be just as awesome and then some. I went with a group of 7. Michael and Eric once again did an amazing job, and this time I got to meet a great operations manager named Bill Varcoe. The personnel here are just incredible. I really can’t speak enough praise about them. They even threw in some freebies for us; a gazpacho amuse, a tuna tartare dish, and several desserts! Huge delicious cheese cake, massive layered chocolate cake, profiteroles, and baked Alaska! Check out the updates in italics below.

Flavor: 10

I’ve been to the other Strip House downtown several times, and I’ve pretty much tried everything on the menu at this point. With any new place, though, I always have to go back to the standard order for a review: the dry aged bone-in rib eye. It was fucking insane. Nice and savory, juicy as all fuck, and perfectly cooked from end to end. There was not one speck of gristle or fat left on my plate. I ate every glorious bite. Look – I went at it so fast that I only managed to remember to take a pic of it at the last minute, when I had one slice left. Note the perfection of color and the juicy reflection in the flash. My buddy had the filet, ordered medium rare. It, too, was perfectly cooked, though mine packed a hell of a lot more flavor (we both agreed).

I managed to remember to take a picture of my cote de beouff special (for steakhouse month). It was 34oz of glorious rib eye, and I ate every last scrap. I must say though – the standard rib eye had better flavor.

1040641_10151647341338592_1242088031_o

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

The selection here is pretty much exactly the same as the other location, with the exception of a “Kosher Rib Eye” that I noticed was added, so no change in scoring here. And every cut is awesome. You can’t go wrong, regardless of what you choose to eat. Here, you can even be a pussy and order a petite filet and still pass muster in the judgmental eyes of Johnny Prime.

Portion Size & Plating: 10

The sizes are all the same here as the other location. Steaks are filling, sides are large enough for two or more, and apps are generous. Eat up, assholes. Eat until you pop, or poop.

Price: 9

Prices here are the same as downtown, which surprised me because I expected higher rents and overhead at this location to drive up the cost to diners. Strip House is always always always an absolute great buy for the money. This is the best steakhouse business/chain in Manhattan, so fucking go for it.

The bill from my second outing is below. Really fucked up problem here  –  my buddy who did the math on the tip messed up and we under-tipped at around 15% when we meant to give more like 25%. I vow to make it up to Chris, our waiter, who did a freaking fantastic job at our table. I think we were about $60 short of what we meant to give. Hilarious part about this: we had an accountant at the table.

strip house check

Bar: 9

The bar here is nice. It’s large, and good for hanging after work. Definitely a place I could see myself hanging at. The martini was made perfectly to boot. Belle, the bartender, was great, and it turns out she is a friend of a friend whose wedding I shot as a photographer.

Specials and Other Meats: 9

They had some great steak specials here, and for alternative meats they had veal and lamb. A nice rounded selection of meat for all carnivorous tastes. I was set on the rib eye, so I didn’t pay much attention to what else they had. Fuck that shit. I had my order decided before lunch time.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10

The midtown locale has basically the same choices as the downtown restaurant. We tried the clams on the half shell (really nice and crisp, briney, creamy, and mild), the lump crab meat (nice and lumpy, generous size bowl of meat), the slab bacon (fucking MINT), and the pancetta creamed corn (always a favorite). You can’t really go wrong with ANY side here, but I think the creamed corn and bacon might be the best of the best at any place I’ve been in the last 5 years when it comes to apps. Our clams were fucking incredible though. When clams are this good, and clean, I actually prefer them over oysters (BLASPHEMY!). I had some dessert on round two. I must say the portion sizes are tremendous. I only tried the cheese cake of the four items they brought out to us, but it was damn delicious!

Seafood Selection: 10

For seafood you have lobster, sea bass, and salmon. They also serve gigantic U6 shrimp, and have an incredible array of shellfish and cold/raw items on the appetizer menu.

Service: 9

The service is unreal. Our waiter, Scott, was absolutely perfect, and referred to me as “Mr. Prime” a few times after I passed him my card at bill-paying time. HA! He even saw me drop a fork and he quickly swooped in to replace it. I would’ve just wiped the fucker off and used it anyway. At first we were seated at a high table near the bar and entrance area, but I asked for a switch and a guy named Derrek helped us out. I made the reservations over a month ago, so I was a little upset that we had a junky seat. When they switched us, we were still in a tight area – tight like a virgin’s puss… crowded, close quarters, a little bloody, shy, scared, etc. But, we really enjoyed out meal, so I can’t complain too much. The bread was warm (the pretzel bread was delicious), and the butter was soft and spreadable (like a whore’s puss). Very nice way to start out the meal. Another cool thing was that they gave us a freebie amuse between the apps and main courses – a shot of smoked potato soup with parsley oil. It was tasty!

Ambiance: 10

Strip House is a brand; so they have a certain style and image that they keep constant among their restaurants: old timey naked pics of chicks, aka broads, aka birds, aka hoo-uhs. The joint has a speakeasy feel; dim lighting, and lots of deep reds in the color scheme. It’s great. The midtown location delivers on that just as well as the downtown location, but with higher ceilings and a second level. Great bathrooms too; single user jammies, really clean and nice. I’d feel totally comfortable dropping a deuce in those fuckers if I had to.

PS – you might have taken a look at the bill and wondered: where the fuck is the booze? Well… Paul and I put back a bunch of booze beforehand at a workplace cocktail party. It saved us some cash. Notice the addition of quality meat consumed by me before we even got to the restaurant. If I see meat, then I must eat… And yes – that was two different kinds of prosciutto, with a glass of fucking scotch (I had three glasses of scotch before dinner, and about six slices of prosciutto).

Just a quickie here: this is Michael Vignola giving a quick recipe demo on how to cook a filet:

STRIP HOUSE
15 W. 44th St.
New York, NY 10036

The Palm (west side)

The Palm overall score: 81

A last minute, game-time decision landed my wife and I in The Palm at west 50th street and 8th avenue for a quick meal. It was an interesting experience; a rather colorful fellow named Ray sat at the table next to us and took interest in this blog. He chatted with us for most of the meal, so it was almost like a 3-person dinner instead of just a date with my wife – a triple date. I’m sure he is reading this now; hey Ray! It was good “meating” with you. Enjoy the review!

Flavor: 8

The ribeye was juicy, it had a great char and crisp all around, and it was cooked just to my liking (an even medium throughout). The intramuscular fat, or marbling, was high quality and I could taste the goodness that melted into the meat with each bite. The only down side was that my particular cut had a fair amount of gristle that I couldn’t chew through. There was a slight amount of bleed out (needed another minute or two of rest), but totally not a big deal. My wife did a surf & turf special that came with a nice sized filet; it was cooked perfectly, and very tender, but it just lacked a slight amount of seasoning.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8

The selection is solid here. They have all 4 of the mandatory cuts, but they embellish on some of the better ones. For example they have two ribeyes; a boneless and a bone-in. They also had a strip that was cooked with cherry peppers on special – tempting, but I am a purist, especially on my first visit to a place.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

The sizes are good here, and everything seems to be prime caliber. The ribeye was 24oz on the bone, and 18oz off. The strip was 16oz. Filets are 9oz or 14oz, and as I mentioned above they don’t skimp out when you do the surf & turf deals. The creamed spinach was tremendous (see pic below) – unfortunately I only had two bites of it. The servers forgot to bring out the doggie bag to take that home (couldn’t finish). Oops. The plating was basic, and it’s really simple to achieve: cook meat, place meat on plate, serve. I’m cool with that. But that little bit of parsley?!?? Make it cilantro and I’ll eat it. Parsley is as useless as tits on a bull. I’m a fucking man for God’s sake. I don’t need a sprig of parsley on my plate or a tweel of balsamic infused chocolate sticking out of my potatoes for that matter (didn’t happen here, but it DOES happen). Dear chefs who do that: Go fuck yourselves. Sincerely, Johnny Prime. PS: What’s the difference between parsley and pussy? You don’t eat parsley…

massive creamed spinach side

Price: 8

Check out the bill below and make your own judgments. I thought it was a fair price for an above average meal. Normally our bills come to a much higher figure. The surf & turf deal for $50 is a nice bargain.

Bar: 8

I didn’t spend any time at the bar, but it is in a good location, near the street, and it gets hopping after work. The martini was made well – up, very dry, with olives, and a little dirty.

Specials and Other Meats: 9

The Palm had a bunch of specials. One thing that bugged me, though, was that oysters were a special and not a regular menu item. In addition to that they had a lobster cocktail special item, a strip steak with cherry peppers, some italian food items, and a pumpkin creme brulee. In addition to that stuff, they offer several kinds of surf & turf deals (3 courses for $50 – the menu is pictured below); some with shrimp, some with lobster, etc. As far as other meats go, they have lamb (under the chops menu), veal and chicken (under the italian menu). Perhaps a pork chop would make for a good addition to the menu.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7

My wife had a basic mixed greens salad that came with her surf & turf. I had the crab cake. It was excellent – lots of meat, but still had good crisp texture. It came with a chipotle sauce that was perfect for an occasional dunk, and beside it was a cherry pepper and mango salsa; very nice. On the side we had creamed spinach, as usual. It was a little heavy (too much of the “cream” and not enough of the “spinach”), but you could tell it was made with top quality cheeses. For dessert we shared a pumpkin creme brulee, which came with my wife’s surf & turf (see below). It was a little grainy due to the addition of pumpkin, but tasty nonetheless.

Seafood Selection: 8

My wife had a lobster tail in her surf & turf. The bite I had was nice; crispy edges, juicy inside, nicely cooked, but she said the remainder of her tail was a little overdone. A shame – anyway you can see the entree below. As I mentioned before, the crab cake was excellent, but the oysters should be a staple and not a special. From the looks of other tables, the lump crabmeat was a generous helping. The Palm offers lots by way of various lobster items, and they also offer salmon, sea bass, and swordfish.

Service: 9

The service here was excellent. Our waiter was Martin, and he was very observant and concerned about our dining experience, our seating location, and whether we needed anything. In particular he was concerned about whether Ray, at the table next to us, was a bother. Absolutely not! I enjoy yapping it up, and Ray was really interested in this blog, so I say bring it on. Our new buddy Ray thought his waitress was too attentive, but I thought Martin was just right for our table. He did a good job of explaining why the bone-in was better than the boneless ribeye, and I overheard other waiters giving the history of the Palm, and what the drawings on the wall were all about (see below). Our table bread was a nice mix of different items. The butter was cold, but whipped and nice; just a little hard. The bread could’ve used a little warmth; it was room temperature. Throw that shit in the microwave for ten seconds or some shit. The only down about service was that we asked for our creamed spinach to be wrapped up to take home, but it never came out to us (not Martin’s fault – it was taken by the bus boy). By the time the bill came out and we paid, we had forgotten about it. Oh well – that’s a little bit my fault too, so no big deal. I just hope they gave it to a bum or something and didn’t throw it out.

Ambiance: 8

The Palm has tons of drawn faces all over their walls. Apparently if you spend enough time and money there, they will immortalize you in cartoon form on the walls of their establishment. As you might expect, lots of famous people have their faces plastered on the walls in there. I had the privilege of looking at Jason Alexander and Mel Gibson throughout the meal, as they were depicted on the column nearest to our table. The story goes that young artists with no money used to create drawings of celebrities that dined there; in exchange they would receive a plate of spaghetti from the owner. That’s the lure and legend of how it all started. Cool. Other than that stuff, the ambiance is standard for steak joints: dim lighting, dark wood, and it smells fantastic. The tables were a little close together where we sat. It’s a good thing my wife and I are friendly people, otherwise the triple date with our new friend Ray would have been awkward. The bathrooms could use an upgrade: they were like any bar bathroom in Manhattan. There was an attendant one time I went in, but not the second time. I don’t think one is needed (ever – unless they have everything I need to shave my entire face).

PALM WEST
250 W. 50th St.
New York, NY 10019