Category Archives: Hawaii

Ba Le

Ba Le – at the Cannery Mall in Maui, Hawaii.

This is fast casual Vietnamese food, which I think needs more of a presence throughout the country. Vietnamese food is generally pretty healthy and fresh, and the staple items like summer rolls, pho and banh mi are so fucking delicious. I already have a concept in mind for a chain that I think would kill… Anyway, we sampled the pho and a classic banh mi. The flavors were spot on, correct to how these items should taste.

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The price for the pho was a little higher than normal, at around $9, but the portion size was big.

Hana Ranch Restaurant

I like to call this meal “Mai Tais, Fries and Flies.” The setting is beautiful. The joint is up on a hill and you can see out over the Pacific from way the fuck up high on the cliff where Hana is situated.

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But the flies are aggressive here. They swarm on your drinks and food. It was nearly unbearable.

I sucked down my mai tai fast to avoid them, and quickly ordered a second drink that I drank just as fast.

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We started with garlic herb fries, nori sesame seed fries and fried calamari. All pretty good, though I wasn’t quite sold on the Japanese style French fries (furikake). The calamari was more tentacle than ring, which I was a little bummed about, but they were at least tasty.

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I had Kalbi short ribs – ribs cut cross-section style, thin, and grilled with Korean BBQ sauce. These were pretty good and tasted just as expected.

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My wife had some sub par, stringy ahi poke (raw tuna with dressing and spices – like a ceviche).

My feeling is that this town is in need of a good bar or another restaurant to foster competition. Something with a bold and brazen use of air conditioning, too. It’s as hot as Dante’s balls after his stroll through Hades up there. Humid as locker room ass crack too. It is beautiful though.

Bully’s Burgers

Bully’s Burgers

This is pure roadside awesomeness. This little shack is an outpost for Triple L ranch, which develops 100% all natural grass fed beef.

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They use a special flavoring, perhaps teriyaki, worked into the grind that gives this shit a really awesome uniqueness. My second burger of the trip was a hit. It may look overcooked, but the cheese and flavor was enough to make it work.

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Check out my wife’s “grilled cheeseburger” as well. This was so gooey, buttery and toasty!

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Hasegawa General Store Spam Musubi

We started a day of driving and hiking with the local breakfast of champions from the Hasegawa General Store – spam musubi.

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This was my first time eating spam. Admittedly it was pretty fucking good. It’s served crispy / browned on hot rice with sesame seeds, Japanese seasonings, and wrapped in nori. It tasted like a good sausage mixed with spiced ham to me. I’m sold.

Halfway to Hana House

The drive to Hana was actually pretty fun. I was expecting death or dismemberment from the way it was described by nearly everyone I know who had been there. Parts are crazy and tight, and bumpy in the unpaved spots, but you’re going to be safe if you’re a moderately good driver.

We snacked on some banana bread from the “Halfway to Hana” shack along the way, and got down on a bag of spicy Vietnamese pork rinds along with our leftover Cow Pig Bun pork rinds.

The banana bread was really flavorful and moist, spiced with comforting shit like nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves.

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Zippy’s

Zippy’s

My wife and I squeezed in a quick breakfast at Zippy’s before the long and treacherous drive to Hana.

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I had saimin, which is similar to ramen and Chinese soups. It consists of broth, wavy egg noodles, fish cake slices, some pork meat and veggies. The flavor profile was decidedly Chinese but the presentation was Japanese, if that makes sense. I’d say it was a chicken based shio/salt broth, like you’d expect in wanton soup. Pretty good!

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My wife had a breakfast bento box that came with rice, scrambled egg, Portuguese sausage and corned beef hash. Pretty basic. I have to say that the sausage and corned beef here were not as amazing as the sausage at Kula Lodge.

Cow Pig Bun

Cow Pig Bun

What a fucking weird location for a reataurant. I can understand the brewery being there, as this area is an office park or business park. I suppose people hit this joint for lunch while they’re at work nearby.

The place is like something out of Williamsburg Brooklyn. The decor is corrugated metal, reclaimed wood, filament bulb lighting and industrial meat facility chic.

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The food is great. It’s a small menu, essentially a burger joint with fancy apps and lots of different whiskey and bourbon to sample.

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We tried a flight of flavored whiskey – one was just a blend, then coconut, chocolate macadamia nut, and coffee flavored whiskeys followed. Macadamia nut was my favorite. Sweet and strong.

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We also sampled some of their mixology style cocktails. My wife had an awesome tequila and pho broth based drink, called “Cannibalistic,” and I had a pineapple, lime  and Maker’s called “Butcher Town.” Good shit.

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I ordered the bacon jam burger. This was a potent and powerful burger. The blue cheese didn’t overpower the meat, nor did the bacon, but altogether it was super heavy. I liked it, but I could only put down half (I ate the rest a few days later).

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My wife had a poorly worded sandwich that was called banh mi, but was really more like a pulled pork sandwich. It had pork belly, pulled pork and really nice fois gras butter, but none of the pickled veggies, fish sauce or fresh leafy cilantro that you usually associate with the banh mi flavor profile. In short, it was still good, but not banh mi.

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Along with the drinks, I think the best part of this place is the pork rind chicharones that come with each entree instead of French fries. These morsels were real pig skin fried up to warm, golden, crispy goodness. Amazing.

Cafe O’Lei

Cafe O’Lei

Then it was time for lunch at Cafe O’Lei. This joint is nice inside. It’s on the second floor of a strip mall type group of storefronts right near S&Q’s. There’s a big bar in the center of the restaurant, and some interesting paintings by local artists on the walls:

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Here, I really wanted to try either the prime rib or the roast pork entrees, but they are only offered at dinner time. Instead, I had my first official burger of the trip. It was cooked almost correctly – slightly over medium – but the large helping of ooey-gooey cheddar cheese really took this burger up a notch.

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My wife and I shared a pair of crab cakes. These were sweet, using snow crab meat, fruit and avocado in the preparation. Very nice. Meaty and crispy.

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My wife had the Mahi Mahi fish and chips, which were expertly batter-fried to a light, golden crisp. The fries here were top notch, by the way. Really nicely done.

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Fat Daddy’s Smokehouse

Fat Daddy’s Smokehouse

Christian, the owner and our waiter, was an awesome host to us, and ended up giving tons of toys to my nieces, ages six and three, who have somehow managed to become vegetarians. I’ll have to fix that, eventually.

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We ordered a big plate of shit, as you can see below. Texas links, burnt ends, BBQ chicken, pulled pork, brisket, and ribs. We also did some mac and cheese as well as jalapeño hush puppies.

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As a matter of fact we did NOT order the chicken. It was given to us by mistake, but Christian left it for us free of charge. Sweet!

Anyway the links were spicy and smoky. The ribs were tender and correctly smoked – not braised – and had a delicious BBQ bark on them. The brisket was tender as well. All too often brisket comes to me dry and devoid of flavor these days, but that wasn’t the case here. And the pulled pork was moist, not drowned in sauce, and had a great smoky flavor that wasn’t overpowering.

The only down for me was the order of hush puppies. My other family members liked them, but to me they were a little grainy from the cornmeal and not seasoned enough with salt after coming out of the fryer. I also expected more heat from the jalapeños.

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Otherwise this meal was amazing. I even recommended Fat Daddy’s to another pair of haoles who were looking for a dinner recommendation. An extra bonus is the fact that they use spice rub and habanero in their Bloody Mary drinks. YES!

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Kula Lodge

Kula Lodge

By 7am we were at Kula Lodge for a nice warming meal before heading the rest of the way down the mountain. This joint actually had a fireplace going, and the well-manicured grounds boast trees, plants and shrubs that would easily qualify this spot as an arboretum. There was even an incredible outdoor cooking station that made me insanely fucking jealous.

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Breakfast was pretty simple but well executed. I had the “Haleakala Mountain of a Meal,” which was two eggs over easy, two pancakes and Portuguese sausage. Since I’m a fat guy deep down, I also added a side of corned beef hash browns. This shit hit the spot nicely. The hash was some of the greatest I’ve ever had. It contained large, juicy chunks of corned beef brisket with all the signature crispy fried bits that you expect from good hash. This was my first time eating Portuguese sausage – awesome. Slightly spicy, a little sweet, and tons of snappy flavor. One thing I particularly enjoyed about this place was the fresh coconut syrup. Fucking awesome on the pancakes and I don’t think I can ever eat them again without the shit. It’s more watery than regular maple syrup, but it has a nice mild, not-too-sweet coconut kick. Lovely.

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My wife had the French toast, which was massive and topped with loads of toasted macadamia nuts for good measure. Excellent cinnamon and nutmeg flavoring that warmed us after that chilly Haleakala mountain expedition. I also got to eat half of this as well. Haha!

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To make the meal even better, we were graced by an awesome full-arc rainbow over the scenic grounds, which was visible in all its glory right from our table, out the big lodge windows.

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