Category Archives: Lower East Side/Chinatown

American, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Other Cuts, Restaurant Reviews

Funny Bar

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First, check out my Ride & Review HERE:

Funny Bar just opened up nearby. The Cake Dealer and I recently wandered in here and had a few drinks, and we knew we wanted to come back.

It’s a live jazz bar with no cover charge, and a really sleek, streamlined menu of STEAK!

Literally, there are like four items on the menu: steak for one, steak for two, french fries, and a wedge salad. Oh and they surprised us each with a free small chocolate brownie sundae at the end of the meal, but it wasn’t on the menu.

We started with the wedge salad, which is simple but delicious.

The steak for one is a petite filet, or shoulder tender/teres major. I love this cut.

It has all the flavor of the chuck, from where it hails, and all the tenderness of a filet mignon. At $29 for about an 8oz steak that comes with fries, this is a great deal. 9/10.

The steak for two is a larger cut. The server told me it was a flatiron, and the host told me it was a strip steak. I don’t think either is correct.

At first I thought maybe it was a tri-tip based on the shape, but the muscle striations seem to go the wrong direction for that. Based on the muscle fibers, I think this is in the sirloin family. Perhaps top butt/sirloin, or top sirloin. Either way it was perfectly cooked, had a great crust, and was artfully topped with a maitre’d butter and herbs. At $69 this is also a great deal for people to try the best of what can be on an otherwise under-utilized cut. 8/10.

Although it might be better to get two of the steaks for one instead of one of the steaks for two, satisfaction will be guaranteed. The fries are perfectly cooked as well. This is the large plate that comes with the steak for two:

They even brought us a free dessert on the house afterwards – miniature brownie sundaes!

I will be back for sure.

FUNNY BAR
133 Essex St.
New York, NY 10002

American, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Restaurant Reviews

Cactus Wren

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First, check out my Ride & Review video HERE:

The Cake Dealer and I decided to give this new joint a shot. We really liked everything we tried, so let me get right into it.

First, the cocktails were excellent. We tried three, and they were all delicious.

The shellfish platter is a bit expensive as $38 for six pieces, but each and every item was a masterpiece. I think my favorites were the hot items on the pebbles (oyster cooked with beef fat and topped with horseradish, and the clam with garlic chips.

The shrimp toast was so delicious. Buttery, crispy, and with lump shrimp meat instead of the paste-like texture that you might see at Chinese spots. The tarter-like sauce was definitely not needed here.

The mortadella tartine was really tasty. I could eat about 30 of these.

We also did their caviar service which was a generous heap of high quality caviar, cream, whipped bean puree, onion, chives, avocado and potato chips with a large bowl of fresh tortillas. This was really nice. I would definitely get this again.

For our mains, we did the fries and fish, which is a medium sized bowl of french fries and fried anchovies.

The anchovies were fresh, plump, light and crisp – not very fishy at all, and really tasty white meat.

We also did the Peekytoe crab omelette on rice, which I really loved.

This, the shellfish and the shrimp toast were probably my favorite items of the night. One thing I wish the omelette had was a crunch texture somewhere. Maybe some crispy fried shallots on top would do the trick. But I did appreciate the texture pops from the salmon roe on top. So good!

Finally, we finished off with their cinnamon toast sundae. The ice cream tasted like the cereal Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and the crunch element came from the tiny fried bombolini doughnuts on top. Absolute crack!

We can’t wait to go back to try more of the menu. The service was really great here too, as they gave us complimentary glasses of Lambrusco since we were celebrating our anniversary.

CACTUS WREN
98 Rivington St.
New York, NY 10002

American, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Other Cuts, Restaurant Reviews

Beauty & Essex

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First, check out my Ride & Review video HERE:

The Cake Dealer and I finally made it over to Beauty & Essex after living down here since late 2020. She had been to the bar once before, but I had only ever been inside to make a meat delivery when I was working at Golden Packing in 2021. The chef, Derrick Prince, was on some cooking competition TV shows back in the day, and since then, I’ve always enjoyed following along on his social media and trying out his food whenever I could. He’s a really talented chef.

First off, the service here is impeccable. This is the same for all Tao Group properties. Really great staff that genuinely cares. They started us off with complimentary glasses of bubbly. It was a nice glass too, not some cheap garbage. I ordered a martini as well, and it was made very nicely.

We ordered two apps, but Derrick sent out three more! We had the pleasure of trying the French dips on toast. the shishito peppers, the sea bass tacos, the grilled cheese and tomato soup dumplings, and the steak tartare quesadillas. I think my favorites were the French dips and the sea bass tacos, but The Cake Dealer preferred the dumplings. All of them were great though.

For our mains, we ordered the Peruvian chicken and the beef Wellington.

Both of these were delicious, but I think the winner for both of us was the chicken. Shocker! But there was just something about the jalapeno salsa verde, the squash, carrot and zucchini ribbons underneath, and those little shreds of crispy potato and peas on top that just came together in a magical way. Incredible.

And that’s not to trash the Wellington at all. It was cooked to an absolutely perfect, butter-knife tender medium rare. The sauce was velvety smooth, the pastry was crispy and light. A really great representation of that this dish is meant to be. This is a 9/10, especially since the price was shockingly low to me at like $65. The beef alone would cost more than that at a steakhouse, not including all the prep and labor to make it into a Wellington. Great value.

On the side, we ordered the caulilini, which consisted of broccolini and cauliflowerini (a cross between cauliflower and broccolini), served in a parmesan broth. This was really nice, but Derrick sent out these roasted Kyoto carrots that blew us away. They were roasted for hours and served with some sort of blood orange agrodolce sauce. Good enough to make you understand vegetarians.

For dessert, we tried these beauties that were shaped like cherries, which had either a vanilla or white chocolate mousse inside of a chocolate shell that was covered in a cherry glaze and plopped on top of a hazelnut and chocolate crumble. Perfect way to end the meal.

I highly recommend this place, and I will definitely be going back to try more of the menu. They even offer a brunch pre fixe, which comes with an app, an entree, a side, and a glass of sparkling rose for $35. Another steal of a deal in my opinion.

BEAUTY & ESSEX
146 Essex St.
New York, NY 10002

Burgers, Latin/Mexican & Caribbean, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Restaurant Reviews

El Sazon

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First, check out my Ride & Review video HERE:

I kept seeing posts about this place on Instagram, so I had to try it. Specifically, I wanted the burger with a big ol’ slab of fried cheese on top.

It was great. Crisp in all the right places, soft and melty in the others.

The double smash packed a ton of flavor.

I will definitely go back to try more stuff here, especially the pernil.

EL SAZON
83 Baxter St.
New York, NY 10013

Japanese, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Restaurant Reviews

Wabi Nori

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First, check out my Ride & Review video HERE:

Wabi Nori is a new sushi hand roll place that just opened near us on the Lower East Side. They have a nice $10 cocktail happy hour, which also offers some reduced price snacks as well. We tried the karaage chicken, the fried calamari, and the soft shell crab. All of these were nice, but I think we liked the chicken and crab the best.

They have pre-set menus for the hand rolls (3, 4, 5 and 6 count). We did the 6-count, and my wife was able to swap the scallop out for a second crab roll since she is allergic. It would have been cool if they let her pick a different protein of equal or lesser value for the swap, rather than making her double up on a roll. For example, the eel roll is $8 a la carte, and so is the scallop. Why not let her replace the scallop with eel instead of making her choose a second crab or tuna? Seemed weird.

Anyway, the tuna and scallop were my favorites, with the lobster close behind.

The salmon, yellowtail and crab were also nice, but nothing was on par with that final piece / hand roll that you get at the end of a nice omakase. Not bad, though, for $38.

WABI NORI
115 Essex St.
New York, NY 10002

Lower East Side/Chinatown, Mediterranean, Restaurant Reviews

Zaad

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First, check out my Ride & Review HERE:

When my wife and I first walked by here, they let us try some falafel for free. It was delicious, so we were sold. I ran it back when using the Too Good to Go app, and for $7 I got this awesome box of chicken shawarma over rice with a salad.

I’ll definitely be back to try more stuff, especially the Philly cheesesteak. I’ve been searching for a good one in the area.

ZAAD
250 Broome St.
New York, NY 10002

American, Diner, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Restaurant Reviews

Betty

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First, check out my Ride & Review HERE:

This spot is pretty good. I might go back for the fried chicken bites and perhaps to try the burger, which looked good when it came out to another person’s table.

BETTY
193 Henry St.
New York, NY 10002

American, Chinese, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Restaurant Reviews

Pecking House Chicken

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First, check out my Ride & Review HERE:

This spot recently opened down by Two Bridges, and I’ve been psyched to try it out.

We got five items; three mains and two sides.

1. The Blackened Chicken Sandwich

This was probably my favorite of all the items. It has a distinctly earthy Mexican flavor to it from the Oaxaca cheese and pickled jalapeños. Absolute banger.

2. Chili Quarter Chicken

I expected this to be wetter, spicier and saltier based on what I’ve seen on Instagram to date, but it was still goo. A bit expensive at $9 without a side, but I’d definitely get it again (perhaps the extra hot version though).

3. Salted Egg Wings

These were delicious. No dipping sauce needed! The batter from the salted yolk comes in nice and crisp, and with the wings being slightly smaller than your typical bar room Buffalo wings, you get a perfect ratio or meat to crisp with every bite.

4. Chicken Salt Fries

These could have used a bit more crisp on them, but they were tasty. Also – not too salty! Nicely seasoned, as a matter of fact.

5. Charred Cukes w/Ginger

These were unique! Charring the cucumber softens them a bit and adds a different flavor profile to them that I’ve never experienced before. The ginger sauce isn’t too pungent, so you still get all that fresh cucumber flavor to cool off from the spicy food between bites.

PECKING HOUSE CHICKEN
83 Henry Street
Shop 1
New York, NY 10002

Japanese, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Restaurant Reviews

Shhh

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First, check out my Ride & Review video HERE:

This secretive omakase joint in the back of an ice cream shop serves up 14 or 18 course omakase meals with unlimited sake for just $96 or $126, respectively.

My favorite pieces were the snappers, scallop and tuna. But the real stars of the show were the appetizers: cod sperm sack and chawanmushi with uni and crab meat!

Snappers:

Scallop:

Tuna:

I can’t believe I ate cum. And I’ll definitely be back for more, especially the soft serve ice cream (not made from cum).

Here are some of the other items:

The cum was torched:

SHHH
113 Division St.
New York, NY 10002

African/Middle Eastern, Burgers, Lower East Side/Chinatown, Mediterranean, Parms, Restaurant Reviews

Eastwood

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My wife and I came here twice. The first visit was just for a snack and a drink, so I never wrote it up. But now that we’ve had a full meal here, I figured I would put together a review from both experiences.

On the first visit, we had drinks, an Israeli scotch egg, and some cake. They have a nice selection of beer and wine. Saison Dupont is my favorite of all time.

The Israeli scotch egg is surrounded by falafel, which was unique and delicious.

On the second visit we did some entrees. My wife had the lamb burger, which comes with crunchy slaw and a harissa mayo. She added Gruyere cheese at the owner’s suggestion. It was absolutely delicious. Easily a top three lamb burger.

I had the chicken schnitzel plate, which came with fries and a salad. The schnitzel was unique in that it was breaded with a sesame seed batter!

I really liked it.

The cake we had on our first visit was a flourless chocolate birthday cake, which, I think, may have even been vegan. I liked it more than my wife did.

We will definitely be back to try more items from Eastwood. Super friendly staff, great prices, and great food!

EASTWOOD
200 Clinton St.
New York, NY 10002