Category Archives: Restaurant Reviews

American, Burgers, Flash Deals, Harlem, Other, Restaurant Reviews

Minton’s Jazz Club

June 8, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

The story behind Minton’s jazz club is pretty great. The way it worked, back in the day, was this: Musicians would be given a free meal of soul food if they played. They were allowed to solo, as long as they could keep up with the house band. At the time, that house band was run by the great Thelonious Monk. His style was tough to keep up with for most musicians, but guys like Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis and Charlie Parker were able to hang with him when they came in to play and eat.

The joint closed in 1974, reopened in 2006, then closed again in 2010, and reopened again in late 2013. The neighborhood has undergone some dramatic changes in real estate values, demographic, businesses that operate there, etc. If I had to guess, I’d say that tho splice is not going to close again anytime soon. The music and food are just too good.

First, let’s get your appetites brewing with a little bit of battle jazz:

Now, I’ll tell you about the delicious food we ate. My wife picked up a Living Social deal for the amazing price of about $90, which included two apps, two entrees, a shared dessert, two cocktails and a jazz album to take home, on top of the great music that you get to watch and listen to while you’re there.

The first thing to come out where a pair of balls: hush puppies for an amuse. These were tasty: crunchy on the outside, pillowy on the inside.

I started with the fried green tomatoes. Two thick, tangy slices of tomato were fried to a golden crisp and topped with hot smoked arctic char and dandelion greens, which were deftly dressed with a creole dressing. I’ve only had fried green tomatoes a few times in my life, but he addition of smoked fish on top was really incredible. It added substance, flash and style to an otherwise ordinary dish. I loved it.

My wife had the deviled crab cake, which tasted exactly how it sounds. It was meaty and spiced, and came with some black eyed peas and celery leaves for texture and herbiness. A really nice southern take on a northeast classic.

The music roared as we mowed through our apps…

We sipped on a pair of delicious cocktails while enjoying the band. I had something called a prima, which consisted of sage infused rye, sorrel syrup, lemon juice, aromatic butters and agave honey. My wife had the satchmo, which was made with smoky is lay scotch, bourbon, bale syrup and bitters.

…And soon enough the entrees were served.

I ordered the venison burger, which was topped with farm cheese, blackberry onion jam and country ham, with a side of yucca fries (I think that’s what they were).

The burger was smoky from the country ham, and the melty cheese was thick and sharp, Everything was cut nicely by the sweet blackberry onion jam, which I think they can bottle and sell as a gourmet BBQ sauce. Really tasty. The venison wasn’t gamey or funky: It was tender and packed with robust flavor, and it was cooked to a perfect medium rare:

Those fries though… WOW. Nice and crispy with a crunchier texture than potato. They had a good snap to them, and they were perfectly fried and seasoned.

My wife had the buttermilk fried guinea hen. This was served with a bourbon peach tea glaze, black eyed peas and pickled collared stems for a bit more crunch and punch. The meat itself was perfectly cooked. It was nice and juicy, with tons of flavor coming at you from every angle. There was even a hint of maple syrup for that chicken and waffles type of flavor.

For dessert we had the lemon tart with blueberry sorbet and shaved fruit leather. This was nice and tangy, and the shell around the lemon curd was super light and airy. A light and refreshing way to end a great meal:

MINTON’S JAZZ CLUB
206 W. 118th St.
New York, NY 10026

Korean, Midtown East, Press Reviews, Restaurant Reviews

Kang Hodong Baekjeong

June 7, 2015 Johnny Prime 1 Comment

The delicious world of KBBQ has exploded in New York. In the last few years new places have popped up all over, and not just within K-town in NYC. I’ve seen several joints pop up out on Long Island, deep into Suffolk County. Long Island still has no Vietnamese restaurants, and the discovery of pho and banh mi by ordinary white folks started years ago. But there’s something about KBBQ that took hold fast and quick. Perhaps it is the fact that a grill is involved. The invigorating smell and smoky visuals of raw meat hitting a red hot grill just resonate with Americans. Burgers, dogs, steaks… we understand.

So all that crap aside, this place is a welcome addition to the panoply of KBBQ joints. Really nice quality stuff, not overcooked, treated just right. Let me get down to what we tried:

On the beef angle, we had a large order, which comes with three items for $99 (a bit pricey, but I promise it is good). Sliced prime rib eye, boneless short rib, and brisket. Here they are, in that order.

Rib eye:

Short rib:

Kalbi marinated short rib:

Brisket:

On the pork angle, we also got a large (3 items for $99), which consisted of jowls, thick belly and thinly sliced belly (which came out separately, pre-cooked and dressed in sauce – not for the grill).

The sauced, pre-cooked item was a bit over-sauced and heavy to eat, but it was also last in the meal, so maybe that’s why it felt heavy. We were getting fucking full.

Aside from all the meat, we had the usual starter items that come in millions of little dishes. Kimchi, fish cakes, tofu, salad, pickled radish, etc.

The grill even had these neat little side-channels where egg and corn + cheese were cooking as side items:

We also ordered kimchi stew and seafood + brisket stew, both of which were a tomato base with really awesome flavor.

And a rice “lunchbox,” which is crispy rice with kimchi, seafood, egg and sauces/spices that they shake the fuck out of for you, table side, to mix it all together:

Lastly, I will share this pic of some of the booze we had with dinner. We must have had three bottles of the glass one (soju), and one bottle of the thing that looks like soda (bubbly, sweet rice wine). Both were awesome.

UPDATE 7/31/17

The only thing new and different that I tried on my second visit, which was an influencer event for Instagram, was this really tasty cold spicy noodle dish. Delicious!

KANG HODONG BAEKJEONG
1 E. 32nd St.
New York, NY 10016

American, Burgers, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

Heartland Brewery

June 7, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

I almost hate to say it, but hey – I’m not a fucking d-bag food snob. Heartland Brewery puts up a great classic cheeseburger! Excellent potato bun, good crunch from the lettuce, juiciness from the tomato, and good quality American cheese.

It was cooked just right at medium, too, with nice texture on the crisp of the patty. This burger hit the spot for me, despite already being kinda full from apps and a beer flight.

Fries were above average as well – good crunch and flavor, fried properly:

Oh and their chicken + bacon mac and cheese? Fuckin’ killer.

Lesson: Don’t knock a place just because it has the appearance of a Friday’s-esque chain restaurant and is located in the stank-ass armpit of Port Authority. If it tastes good, then that’s all that fucking matters.

HEARTLAND BREWERY
625 8th Ave.
New York, NY 10018

Burgers, French, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

DB Bistro Moderne

May 30, 2015 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

To celebrate my birthday this year, my wife took me to DB to try their famed burger. Check out a video here, from the man himself, Daniel Boulud:

I know what you’re thinking… I know, I know… NO CHEESE! and SUPER THICK! As you guys have probably figured out from reading my other burger reviews, I am a simple man when it comes to burgers. Potato bun, a few basic crunch-element toppings, a not-so-thick patty, and good old fashioned American cheese. That being the case, you’d think I would absolutely despise this burger. I loved it, and I think the reason is because I think of it as something other than a burger. This is an entree, not a sandwich. It’s a huge meatball between two pieces of onion, parmesan and potato bread. I ate half with my hands, and the other half with a fork and knife. The side and shape are just unwieldy for a hand-held sandwich. And the lack of cheese was not really an issue, given how juicy, tender and full of flavor all the other elements were in this burger.

Anyway take a look at this fucker. It comes pre-sliced. Inside is foie gras and braised short rib.

If it weren’t so freaking tasty, I would be pissed at this burger, similar to the way I felt about the black label burger at Minetta Tavern that is typically served sans cheese.

The french fries were good. Not the best I’ve had. Could have been a bit m ore crisp, but they were seasoned correctly.

Let’s back up now. We started with some cocktails and table bread, which had an assortment of pretzel bread, olive bread and dinner rolls.

There was even an amuse, which was a parmesan crisp with goat cheese and chives.

The charcuterie plate was delicious. There were four different types of meats: head cheese, pate and two sausages, served with a trio of sherry mustard, dijon mustard, and whole grain. I think my favorite meat was the pate, and my favorite mustard was the sherry.

My wife had the duck confit. It was a nice portion size, and nicely cooked. I think the skin could have gone a bit more crispy, but overall the dish was excellent. It had a really deep spice that was reminiscent of five spice with an added zing of cumin.

For dessert we shared this lychee mousse with raspberries. It was really light and refreshing, and little bits of soft spongecake throughout. There was also some freeze-dried berries on top too that were really tart – they added a nice pop to this item.

Last was a petite fours place. I didn’t really care for these, but the little sugary jelly think on the end was super soft and tasted like apricot.

DB BISTRO MODERNE
City Club Hotel
55 W. 44th St.
New York, NY 10036

Filet Mignon, French, Full Points for Flavor, Nolita/Soho, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Press Reviews, Restaurant Reviews

La Sirene

May 29, 2015 Johnny Prime 1 Comment

What’s more diddy than P-Diddy? Didier:

I guess I should say WHO is more diddy than P-Diddy. Okay you’re probably confused…

Didier is the owner, chef and manager of three excellent NYC French restaurants. I’ve written a rave review of Le Village from a previous press meal, and now I’m writing one for La Sirene, the popular classical French joint on Broome Street, just east of Varick at the lower edge of Soho.

Anyway, Didier is an intense, animated guy who is really passionate about his food. Everything he serves is of superior quality and taste, and made right there in-house. After eating at two of his restaurants, I can safely say that there is nothing that the man can’t execute with flawless precision. Every app, entree and dessert I’ve tasted has ranged from far above average to excellent, with one or two “best I’ve ever had” things in there as well.

Didier focuses his energy on classic French dishes, made from family recipes that he has been honing for upwards of 30 years. Some of these dishes are so labor intensive that you wonder how the hell he could be cranking them out seven days a week. Even some of the sauces take days to prepare, all from scratch – from roasted bone stock, reduced with wine, and distilled into just a few ounces of absolute heaven in a bowl.

Other French places I have been to will have something like coq au vin or cassoulet on the menu, yet every time you go in and ask for it, they are somehow not able to make it for you. They’re “out” of cassoulet. And other French joints only serve those crazy, impossible dishes one day a week. “Monday Dinner Special: Coq au Vin.” Not served any other day of the week. This is not the case at La Sirene. Didier cranks these fucks out like a machine, and they are all amazing, and available every damn day for hundreds of diners. That is quite impressive, to say the least.

So let’s get right down to business, shall we?

La Sirene recently acquired a liquor license (it used to be solely BYOB), so we started with some Spanish wine: Temperanillo (red) and Airen (white). Both were smooth, but I tend to gravitate toward red in general.

The table bread is all made in-house, and is a rustic farmhouse style with a crusty outside and a soft, fluffy, absorbent inside that’s excellent for dipping into the sauces that come with the mussels.

While I got to taste a little bit of everything that each of the five press diners ate, I will try to just focus on the items that my wife and I ordered – really because I ate more of those items than the others.

First was the sauteed baby octopus. This was simply tossed with garlic, parsley, tomato, olive oil and mushrooms, and served warm on a bed of mixed greens. The ‘pus was perfectly cooked. Nice and tender, with great flavors. Although one doesn’t exactly associate this sort of dish with classic French cuisine (it sounds more Mediterranean / Greek-Italian), it was a definite crowd pleaser. Everyone liked it.

My wife had the Creole mussels, which were served in a creamy tomato and chorizo broth with herbs. We liked this a whole lot better than the other mussel dish we tried, which was “Rochelaises” style, with curry and apples. The chorizo just goes so well with shellfish, and I was sopping up that amazing sauce with bread for a while after the mussels were fully devoured.

When in France, do as the French do: Eat snails. These little shits were so damned tasty. Buttery, garlicky, herby and tender. I could easily put down three dozen of these like nothing. Didier’s escargot is a must-try, and the best version of the dish that I’ve ever had.

The entrees were spectacular. Until this meal, I had never tried cassoulet. I think I might have just spoiled myself with this first. My expectations and standards on future cassoulet meals are now way too high, thanks to Didier. It’s like having a rib eye at Del Frisco’s for the first steak of your life. While I have nothing to which to compare Didier’s cassoulet, I can safely say that it is amazing. Behold, my new favorite French dish:

It was so hearty and packed with flavor. So many different types of meat were happily co-mingling in this rustic dish. It was like a dream-come-true. Inside was a delicious potpourri of cannellini beans, carrots, tomatoes, garlic, duck confit, slab bacon and pork sausage, all braised with duck fat, white wine stock and foie gras jus. Come on… And on top was an array of homemade bread crumbs that were broiled to crispy perfection, so that every bite of this dish had texture versatility as well as flavor variety.

It was difficult to pull myself away from that cassolet. It was my wife’s dish. I, of course, had steak. At first I was conflicted: should I order the hanger steak, one of Didier’s signature items, or the “Tournedos Rossini,” a signature filet mignon item? BOTH STEAK and BOTH SIGNATURE DISHES! It was like Sophie’s Choice for me, except, unlike Sophie, (SPOILER ALERT) I didn’t have to hand one of my children over to the Nazis to save mine and my other child’s lives.

Okay, so after much back-and-forth, I quietly resolved that I would just come back again soon for the hanger steak. I ordered the “Tournedos Rossini,” which is filet mignon, topped with fois gras, truffles and a shallot/port wine reduction sauce.

This was nothing short of decadent. The fois gras added that much needed fat element back into the cut of tenderloin. So good. And it was expertly cooked to medium rare as well.

I was thoroughly impressed. For a non-steakhouse, this place does an excellent job with the world’s most prized and sought-after beef cut. Bravo!

Our entrees were served with a nice side plate of veggies. Celery with breadcrumbs and garlic (my favorite of the four), butternut squash, green beans (really fucking delicious, by the way – how on earth does one make green beans so damned good), and carrot puree. This plate comes with each entree, but sometimes Didier will mix up the contents depending on what’s fresh and in season.

Dessert is such a treat when you’re at a place that really knows what the fuck they’re doing in the kitchen. La Sirene is one of those places. We tried five different desserts, and I made damn sure to take nice photos of each and every one, because they were all stellar.

I’ll start with the chantilly here. Essentially this was a cream puff item: puff pastry filled with vanilla whipped cream. Simple, elegant, light – and a cool, refreshing way to end a meal.

The steakhouse man in me will always look for a creme brulee of some kind. The one offered here is a banana brulee. Custard with banana and cookie in it. Really delicious and perfectly executed, with generous chunks of very ripe and sweet bananas inside.

This strawberry tart was actually my favorite dessert of the five. The tart crust itself was flakey, buttery and light. It was sweet, yet slightly savory, to counter-balance against the sweet strawberries, whipped cream and custard that was on top. A real winner for me. I wish I was able to eat more of this.

My order was the profiteroles. These were essentially the same as the chantilly cream puffs, except filled with vanilla ice cream and draped in melty chocolate. Fucking awesome. And the whipped cream added that lightness that I wanted at dessert time, in addition to the sweetness.

My wife ordered the chocolate lava cake. This was a sight to see. It comes served on a long plate consisting of three items: whipped cream, the cake itself and vanilla ice cream. See below:

But when you cut into this baby, that ooey-gooey melty chocolate lava just oozes out of the center.

I’m usually not a big chocolate-on-top-of-chocolate fan at dessert time, but this was a really great dish with a stunning presentation.

I think that about wraps it up. I look forward to coming back to try the other signature beef dish, the hanger steak, and I eventually plan to try out Didier’s third dining establishment, the fondue joint next door called Taureau. So far Didier is two for two with La Sirene and Le Village. Essentially he has taken victories at the Derby and Preakness, and I am interested to see if he will score the Triple Crown at Belmont. See what I did there? That’s a horse racing metaphor, because the Belmont Stakes are just a few weeks away, and we have a potential Triple Crown winner on our hands this year.

LA SIRENE
558 Broome St.
New York, NY 10013

American, Burgers, French, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

Kingside

May 15, 2015 Johnny Prime 1 Comment

My wife and I stopped into Kingside for a quick meal because it looked amazing inside, and we had heard good things about the burger.

So let me get right down to business here about the burger:

As you can see, there is no lettuce, but there was a crunch element from this vinegary pickled and minced veggies giardiniera relish. Check it out below (hint: it’s not the white or red one):

Not my go-to for a burger topping, but it at least satisfied the need for crunch. It had a hard/crusty bun, which is a big mark for the negative column, but it wasn’t unwieldy or painful. It was similar to The Breslin in texture, and for this particular burger, I think, it sorta worked. There wasn’t enough cheese. Another melty slice would have been ideal. But the soppressata was a nice touch on top. I wish the patty was flatter and wider, or just larger/wider in general, to make for better coverage of the bun. Essentially the bun was too big, and there was excess bread. It was cooked to a nice medium, which is how I ordered.

As for the other stuff we tried: we had a way overpriced octopus app. One tentacle for $19, it tasted like tunafish, and didn’t have that charred snap on the outer portions. Otherwise it had a great soft texture inside, and serving with the hearts of palm was unique.

My wife’s order of mussels and fries were good, in a cream based sauce, but not the best we’ve had. The mussels were, for the most part, meaty and large, which was nice.

The fries here are amazing. They’re super crispy and perfectly cooked, just a little over salted perhaps.

The bread at this joint is nice too. Warm, toasty sesame Italian bread sliced and plated beside some warm tomato sauce with garlic herbs and olive oil swimming within:

But overall this place is just too overpriced. My burger was $22 with fries, that octo app was $19, and my wife dropped about $6 for about 8-10oz glass of iced tea that was filled with ice. Total rip for that. To sum up: skip the apps, get extra bread, and be ready for a few pet peeves on an otherwise tasty burger.

KINGSIDE
Viceroy Hotel New York
124 W. 57th St.
New York, NY 10019

American, Midtown West, Pub Food, Restaurant Reviews

Shorty’s

May 12, 2015 Johnny Prime 3 Comments

Shorty’s is a Philly cheesesteak joint on 9th Avenue between 41st and 42nd Streets. They’ve actually got three other locations, but this is their flagship spot. I’d been in here once before and had a pretty damn good chicken cheesesteak. But this time I ordered a regular cheesesteak with American AND wiz, because I’m an animal, and onions, of course.

That shit was so ooey and gooey that it would make Peter North drop his jaw in awe. I asked my buddy, who is familiar with genuine Philly cheesesteaks, if this compares to the famous Pat’s and Geno’s. His response was that this is pretty good, and that they do a very close job to the authentic style found in Philly.

We also tried regular and Italian flavored (parmesan and herbs) fries. Both were really good but if I had to choose a favorite I would say the Italian style was a little better. The cheese makes it pop.

Anyway, if beer is your thing, the place has a great happy hour special. Every bottle, can or draft is $4 until 7pm during the week. That’s pretty great, so get on it.

SHORTY’S
576 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10036

Burgers, Diner, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

Flame

May 11, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

My wife and I popped in here for a quick breakfast and we were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the food, and the cheapness ($4.65 for two eggs any style with toast and hash browns). My lumberjack meal (pictured) was only $7.45 for two eggs any style, ham, bacon or sausage, and pancakes. It is standard diner fare, but the poached eggs were perfect. I had a small shell bit right on top, but other than that it was perfect.

Pancakes were good too.

Looking forward to trying their burger next.

UPDATE MAY 2015

So I finally got back in to try the burger. It’s very basic, nothing too crazy to write about. The bun is toasted, which I hate, and I think the burger patty was probably frozen. But at $9.75 for the deluxe, which comes with battered fries, lettuce and tomato, its not a bad buy.

FLAME
893 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

American, Burgers, Midtown East, Restaurant Reviews

The National

May 9, 2015 Johnny Prime 3 Comments

My wife and I tried this joint out today for a quick dinner. When we entered, we were hit with this beautiful staircase. Who knows where the fuck it goes, though…

We thought it was odd that no bread was served to us, but the app came out pretty quick, and it had some sliced pieces of toasted bread with it. Steak tartare:

This was pretty good. It was coarsely hand cut, which I am usually not a fan of, but it was soft and had good flavor. We didn’t realize there was a quail egg yolk sitting in it for mixing until we were halfway done with the dish. It was sorta buried under the meat. The tartare had a good spice to it from some cherry peppers. Nice touch.

For her entree, my wife ordered the appetizer mussels. This was a good sized portion, but it came with one lousy piece of bread for soaking up the delicious green coconut curry sauce at the bottom. It was topped with sliced garlic, pickled chili peppers and cilantro.

Definitely a winning dish, so I recommend ordering it. We asked for more bread and were finally given our table bread, which we should have gotten earlier when we were seated. Soak up all that delicious sauce shit at the bottom!

I had the burger, with added cheddar. The burger, as-is on the menu, does not come with cheese. They had either cheddar or gruyere when I asked.

There was some slight slippage when eating due to the slippery tomatoes (one slice would have been fine), but the burger had a great beefy flavor and the toppings were excellent. Pickled red onion, so I wasn’t dying of thirst all night long. Pickles, lettuce. Nice and simple.

As you can see above, they were wise to dig out some of the bread so as not to have a burger stacked high to the sky. Good shit. The bread was nice too. Strong yet soft. And it came with some really tasty golden crisp French fries.

Not bad! I think we ordered the right sort of shit here, so if you stick to these items I’m sure you will be pleased. My wife has been here before, and she said the octopus app, which I was thinking of ordering, was not that great – nothing special.

THE NATIONAL
557 Lexington Ave.
New York, NY 10022

Korean, Midtown West, Press Reviews, Restaurant Reviews

Seoul Garden

May 5, 2015 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

I recently received an email from Seoul Garden owner Patty Koo to come in for a press meal. My wife had been here about three times in the past, so I knew it has to be a decent joint if she had been there on more than one occasion (she has great taste in food).

Seoul Garden has been a family-run operation since 1998. It started with Patty’s mom’s recipes, which were taught to the chefs and taken from there. It’s done very well through the years, and serves as a K-town staple: a place where you can find home-style cooking basics, nothing too fancy or obnoxiously trendy – just really good, solid Korean food in a welcoming and friendly atmosphere.

The restaurant is located on the second floor, up and off the noisy, crowded and sometimes smelly (in the summer time anyway) ground floor space.

While it may make for less visibility to passers-by, as a diner I actually like this feature of the restaurant, especially because the large windows on the second floor that overlook 32nd Street and the bustling K-town scene offer great natural light into the spacious and comfortable dining room. it makes you feel like you’re up in someone’s apartment too, which is cool.

The place was actually already packed at 6:30 while we were in the middle of our meal. Nice! I guess there’s no shortage of customers, even on a Monday night, right after a shitty day back at the office.

As is the case at all Korean joints, the servers bring out a barrage of delicious banchan. These are usually an assortment of pickled items, like kimchi, for those who don’t know the cuisine. Seoul Garden has an especially tasty set of these, which I’d like to give a little bit more detail on here:

First, and my favorite, was thick glass noodles with crushed pepper, dressed in a light sesame oil of sorts:

Then there was the sauteed peppers, onions and squid in a sweet and slightly spicy sauce. Really delicious.

This potato and Asian pear “salad” was dressed in a slightly sweet mayonnaise and was really refreshing and light:

The bean sprouts had a great texture; fresh snap to the stems and a good nutty crunch to the bean.

Seoul Garden serves up a really good kimchi. It’s spicy and crisp, crunchy and zesty. Almost bubbly or effervescent.

The only downer for me in this entire meal was this bitter green item: possibly dandelion or mustard greens?

It was a little too bitter to be eaten by itself, for me anyway, and a bit fibrous, but there were some sweet pickled radish slices that you could wrap around them to achieve a better balance.

The servers also brought out some lettuce for wrapping up the BBQ meat, and spicy scallion shreds for topping.

The sauce trays below contained: fermented soy bean (sweet and savory together – a really good dipping sauce for the meat), raw garlic (excellent when char grilled), and spicy soy sauce with scallions for dipping shit.

Okay, so now that all of the small plates are set up and ready to go, let me switch gears to some of the amazing starters that we tried.

First was this crispy, yet pillow-soft seafood and scallion pancake.

Inside were coarsely chopped scallions and bits of seafood, like squid tentacles. It was really good as a snack, or to dip into some of the sauces on the table. And it was BIG too: the size of a small pizza pie, and virtually grease-free. Most places serve up really greasy scallion pancakes, but this place was awesome.

This next dish isn’t served at too many Korean joints on 32nd Street. I saw it once before at the place directly next door, and my stomach turned at the thought of it, but that was way back in my less adventurous food days. What is it? Raw blue claw crab that has been marinating in a soy-based sauce, spices and other delicious sweet and potent flavor pastes. The bodies stay pretty soft, so you essentially just squeeze the thing between your fingers and suck all the meat out, like toothpaste from a tube. The consistency is similar to the delicious, soft and edible part of beef fat – it’s like jelly. Only here it is cold and flavored differently. All of this sounds really nasty, I know, but I fucking loved it. I can’t believe I was squeamish about this dish in the past. I’m all in now! That said, both I and Patty realize that this dish is not for everyone. I think it’s one of those “either you love it, or hate it,” kind of things.

The last pre-meat item is an incredible tofu and seafood soup. I know what you’re thinking: “Johnny, what the fuck, man? You just used the words ‘tofu’ and ‘awesome’ in the same fuckin’ sentence. Is everything okay? Did someone kidnap the real JP, or surgically remove his testes?”

Please allow me to explain this dish, which was far and away my favorite of the night. It comes to the table in a small, bubbling-hot cauldron that looks like a miniature witch’s stew.

Beneath the surface is an ensemble of seafood consisting of mussels, squid, head-on large shrimp, teeny tiny baby shrimp, mushrooms and silken tofu.

But wait… it gets better… There was a lone egg on the table when we were being served all the banchan. I was confused. But then it all became clear. The egg was for this soup. It gets cracked into the soup as it bubbles away, and you allow the hot soup to poach the egg to a perfect consistency. Watch:

Fucking… so… good… Spicy, deep and rich with seafood flavor, light yet hearty. Simply put, it is off the charts excellent. It’s called Soondofu, so you know what to order when you go in.

Okay so after that shit the beef was just not even that interesting. Don’t get me wrong – the meat was spectacular and really tasty, but I was blown away by that soup to the point where everything else just paled in comparison.

So they grilled for us at the table: marinated cross-cut, sliced beef ribs with enoki mushrooms, garlic and raw onion slices. That was the first up to bat:

They snip up the meat pieces with scissors for you when they’re ready to take down. Excellent and attentive service, if I may say.

The marinade was good and flavorful, sweet and savory, and the meat was really tender. It came off the bone bits very easily. As you can see below, the sugar element in the marinade gives off a great sticky char when exposed to the heat for long enough.

Next was marinated (same flavor as above) boneless beef short rib, sliced thin, with mushroom, red bell pepper slices and fresh garlic.

Look at how awesome that interior looks. A purpley medium rare!

Essentially this was the same meat as above, but with a slightly different texture to it since it was sliced differently and not on the bone. They both went really nicely with the lettuce wraps, as well as all of the various toppings and sauces I discussed above.

Standard operating procedure at these joints is a slice of orange as a post-meal cleanse. Clean that mouth out with some citrus, bitch!

When it comes to the meat, this place understands: simple and delicious is the key. Heat + Meat = A Tasty Treat. But I have to say, that soup was so complex and delicious, that I consider it an absolute MUST TRY when you dine at Seoul Garden. Put this place on your short list. You won’t be disappointed if you eat what I ate.