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Bobby Van’s (Bridgehampton)

Bobby Van’s overall score: 84

A trip to Bobby Van’s was a long time in the making. It has been on my never-ending short list for quite some time. I went with my family in a group of six to the Bridgehampton location on a Saturday. Check it out assholes:
Flavor: 8
I had the porterhouse since they didn’t have a ribeye on the menu (WTF???!?). It was good!  The waiter suggested that the two of us ordering it go with a porterhouse for two rather than two single steaks because the cut would be thicker. It was nicely cooked, even throughout, a good char on the outside with a nice buttery flavor. They probably could have seasoned it a bit more, but otherwise it was a good meal. One negative is in the preparation. Like many steakhouses serving the porterhouse, they pre-slice the meat and serve it on a hot plate. It’s nice for sharing that way, but there was a pool of oil, butter and juices at the bottom of the plate. When you cut meat while still hot, you can dry it out. At the same time, after you cut it, the meat sits in a pool of liquids and makes the bottom of the steak sog the fuck up, which just got a nice char in the broiler or on the grill. So while the meat becomes dry in the central parts, it also gets soggy and ruins the char on one side. I’ve griped about the way porterhouses are ruined many times. Next time that there isn’t a ribeye on the menu, I might just have to stick with a strip or filet on their own, since porterhouses are inevitably destroyed on a regular basis at steakhouses. The server here at least had the sense to tip the plate up so that the juices didn’t soak the char and make the bottom of the steak soggy. Side note – it is sort of a world of difference to go from ribeye to porterhouse, in terms of flavor. The ribeye just packs so much more of a punch. It’s a shame they don’t offer one regularly. I know they have them on special on occasion though (lollipop steak). I also had a taste of the lamb, which was very nice as well.
 
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
One thing I noticed right away when checking the menu online was that they didn’t offer a ribeye (as I annoyingly mentioned several times above). That means instant points come off. Three to be exact. Not only is it my personal favorite cut, but it is THE steak. Keen’s commits this treachery too, but they make up one point with all the other kinds of meats they have (the amazing mutton). Aside from that issue, Bobby Van’s is good. They have all three of the other mainstay cuts (filet, porterhouse, and strip), and everything is top quality.
 
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Sizes here are pretty good. The lamb chops were a healthy size, and the porterhouse was about 40oz for two people. At $45 per cut, this isn’t too bad at all. My brother had a filet, and it looked around 12 or 14oz, which is on the upper end of the range. The apps and sides were all generous, as well as the desserts. The baked potato, for example, can feed a small village… for a week.
 
Price: 8
The price is about right for Long Island steakhouses. All the cuts are $45. All the sides are $9. The bill for six people came to $565. With tips included it was about $110 a head. Not too bad, especially when you take into account that the portion sizes were all large.
Bar: 9
The bar is nice and big, and attracts a good crowd. The restaurant is located on a nice little strip of town, and it just so happened that we were there for the Kentucky Derby, so the place was packed out with people wearing fancy hats and cheering for the horses (I’ll Have Another – the one who flaked out of Belmont soon afterwards when it was in line for the Triple Crown). My sister said the place is packed all the time. I can see why – it seems like a fun place to hang. 
Specials and Other Meats: 9
Bobby Van’s had a ton of stuff on special. I would have loved to see some more beef items on special, like a flank or a skirt (… or a FUCKING RIBEYE!), so I took one point for that. By way of other meats, they have lamb, veal and chicken. A good array of butchery. On special was a pork chop as well, along with several salad, app and fish options. My sister had a duck confit pasta dish, which was awesome. This is a regular menu item, but it is so good and full of meat that I put it here.
specials
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
I had smoked salmon for my appetizer. It was a big portion, and it came with several slices of goat cheese and caramelized onions. My wife had the pear and arugula salad, which was on special. The walnuts in the salad were amazing. Honey roasted, crunchy, and delicious. One noteworthy item was my sisters calamari app – I assumed it was a fried item when I saw it on the chalkboard, but it was grilled perfectly, sliced up, and served in a nice Asian slaw. For sides we had a baked potato (freaking HUGE – almost as big as our porterhouse), french fries (skinny, nicely seasoned), and creamed spinach (not overly dairy, seasoned to a nice savory goodness, and just the right amount of liquidity for slathering on a bite of steak). For dessert I tried a bite of my sister in-law’s chocolate cake, and lots of my wife’s delicious mango sorbet.
 
Seafood Selection: 10
There is a healthy amount of seafood on the menu. Appetizers consist of clams and oysters (both cooked and uncooked), mussels, crab cake, lobster, shrimp, fish tacos, and smoked salmon. For entrees they have a rare tuna dish, hamachi, grilled salmon, black sea bass, and a whole pan seared fluke. Note that seafood entrees, at a steakhouse, are for pussies and women. Perhaps they chose to put fluke on the menu instead of a ribeye because they want to attract wimps to the restaurant instead of real men. In any event, they all looked and sounded delicious. My wife has some dietary restrictions, so she went with the hamachi instead of meat. I tried a few bites and it was delicious. Crispy seared edges, a little rare on the inside – perfect. It is such a nice fish. On special they had soft shell crabs and wreck fish as well.
Service: 8
The waiter was a little difficult to understand, but that might have been due in part to having a seat closer to the end of the bar. There was nothing wrong with the service at all – it was average. On the plus column he did suggest we do a steak for two rather than two steaks for one, so that we got a thicker cut of beef. On the table there was warm bread and semi-soft butter waiting for our ravenous appetites to devour before the meal, with a little plate of olive oil to go with.
Ambiance: 9
When we first were seated, the temperature seemed a little aggressive and hot. As the meal went on it cooled down, which was good. The wicker/bamboo seats were a little narrow and uncomfortable for my fat ass, but the decor was classy and worthy of fine steakhouses. Dark wood floors, dark wood-paneled bar area, nice paintings of east end stuff and horses, etc.

BOBBY VAN’S
2393 Montauk Hwy.
Bridgehampton, NY 11932

Ben Benson’s

Ben Benson’s overall score: 83

UPDATE: BEN BENSON’S IS NOW CLOSED!
Ben Benson’s opened in 1982 and has been known in the steak industry ever since. Nestled in the heart of midtown’s active workplace environs, and close enough to the theater district, it has become just as wildly popular as any other steakhouse in this highly competitive area of beefery. After eating here I heard some disappointing news that Benson’s is closing for good. From Johnny Prime: It is sad to see you go! I guess that makes this review somewhat obsolete and unnecessary.
Flavor: 7
I had the ribeye. Surprised about that? Nope. All you assholes should know my ordering habits by now if you are keeping up with this blog. The steak was perfectly and evenly cooked to medium, and it had a great crust on the outside, but the meat was under seasoned. This was the first time I ever had to use the salt and pepper shakers at a steakhouse. Damn! But once seasoned, it was good. I noticed a general lack of salt in a few other dishes actually (sides in particular), though the lobster was just right. I guess not enough salt is better than too much salt though. In any event, despite an overall satisfying meal, I took some points off for that basic cooking 101 blunder.
 
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10
Ben Benson’s has a wide variety of cuts available. They have strip, filet and porterhouse – all three cuts available for both one or two – as well as a roasted prime rib (for pussies) AND a ribeye (for real men). They have several preparations of filet, “steak a la stone,” a skirt steak, a chopped steak, and lots of alternameats (see below). They even had a cajun ribeye and a bison ribeye. All the beef is aged prime, so you are good to go. To top it off, they also offer smaller portions of most cuts listed here. NOTE: if you go with bison, know that there is less marbling in the meat, as it is leaner. That means less flavor, and more toughness. The bison is also not aged or prime like the beef is. It is also a smaller cut. In short: stick with the beef cuts and give a hearty “fuck you, but thanks anyway” to the bison.
 
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Sizes here are good for the beef. They don’t list the ounces on the menu, but I was told the ribeye is about 22oz (bone-in), and the buffalo ribeye (which I was considering) was about 14 or 15oz. The sides are a bit small for the price of $11.50.
 
Price: 8
The price is average to a bit on the high end here. However they do offer a steak dinner for two, 7-days a week, for only $95. You choose between a filet with shrimp, or chateaubriand. It comes with soup, salad, and two sides. That is a fantastic deal. Our total bill for two apps, two entrees, two sides, a dessert, a lemonade, coffee, tea, and a martini came to $276 (tax and tip included). The 3lb lobster rang in at a whopping $73.50. KABOOM! As noted above, sides were $11.50. Martini was $15. Steak was $52.50.
Bar: 7
The bar is a little disjointed. When you walk in it is on the right, and it wraps around making a squared off U-shape, but the bottom part of the U is essentially a narrow hallway type thing to the other side. There is also an unsightly entrance into the corporate office building lobby on that side, but no big deal. The $15 martini was made well, though could have been made colder. They also serve some cool homemade french fries/potato chips at the bar, which were interesting. The bar also attracts some after work people from midtown, so it IS lively for socializing, mingling, finger-banging, and all that other bullshit.
Specials and Other Meats: 10
The $95 steak for two special is available every day. In addition they had a bone-in strip steak, salmon, mahi mahi, soft shell crab, shrimp bisque, and broccoli rabe on special. For other meats, they had veal, pork and chicken – each served a few different ways – as well as “winter wild game,” which I assume were the bison ribeyes. A really great and diverse mix. This place really has a big selection.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
We had the house cured gravlax and the soft shell crab for starters.  Both were good, though I think the lox could have been cut a little thinner and chilled a bit more, perhaps topped with some capers (though it did come with garlic toast). The crab was a little bit heavy (meaning buttery like a belly bomb), but the portion size was good (one 5in crab I would guess, point to point across the top of its shell – that’d be blue claw, assholes). As such it wasn’t overwhelming to the gut. On the side we had creamed spinach and broccoli rabe. The broccoli rabe was a simple saute in garlic and oil. It was light and not too potent or bitter. The greens were barely wilted, so it had a crunch. The creamed spinach was similar; also very light – lightest creamed spinach ever actually – and not salty. For dessert we had key lime pie. I’d say all of it was average. Nothing really shined or stood out as exceptional, but also nothing was disappointing. I’ve been to a lot of places, and not every meal is going to blow your mind. It is terrible when you pay that much and they completely ruin shit. But here, nothing gets ruined. On the other hand nothing is mind-blowingly jerkworthy either. The sides did seem a bit small for the price, however (not like we could finish them all anyway).
Seafood Selection: 9
Ben Benson’s is the first place where I have seen crab on the menu as an entree. This made me very excited. Crab, I feel, is one of the only things you are allowed to order if you aren’t getting a steak at a steakhouse. And when I say crab as an entree, I don’t mean crab cakes, or lump crab meat (which they have as well) – I am talking REAL crab. Stone crab. I was down when we were told it was currently not in season/unavailable. They did have soft shell crab though (both as an app, and as an entree). I may have to come back just to try the stone crab someday… oh wait… can’t because they’re closing. They also had several preparations of shrimp, some scallops, filet of sole, fish of the day (plural – they were salmon and mahi mahi), 3-7lb Maine lobsters (holy shit 7lb is HUGE), and a variety of typical shellfish (calamari, Blue Point oysters, smoked salmon, salmon tartare) on the app menu. The only thing missing was a “seafood plateau” or sampler, which is what my wife likes to get. Point off for that. BUT – the lobster was incredible, and it was a nice touch for them to crack it table side.
Service: 10
The host upgraded us from a small table in a central area to a booth up on one of the elevated dining areas once he realized we were there for our “anniversary” reservation. The waiters are all male, and they all had ties on with some kind of beige jacket on their shoulders. It almost looked like outerwear. Our waiter was great. He cracked my wife’s lobster at the table and pulled out the meat for her (that sounds awesomely perverse). Later, he and another waiter sang a happy anniversary song for us, and more importantly, they knew their steak. Our waiter spoke with me about the difference in quality and marbling between the buffalo ribeye (on special) and the beef ribeye. He was attentive and friendly. In terms of bread, which I always mention in some way, it was not warm and the butter was not cold. It was somewhere in the average area. A crispy ciabatta type bread was in there, a raisin walnut, and bread sticks. Their steak sauce tasted like dark red cocktail sauce – I generally don’t dig steak sauces so I just tried it with the bread.
Ambiance: 7
This place is somewhere in between a new steakhouse and an old steakhouse. The decor says it is trying to be the older type, the classic chop house, but the location and environs says the opposite. Contrast this with a place like Del Frisco’s, which embraces its corporateness and blows it out the water in terms of ambiance. It works there. I guess it didn’t help that the entire front of the building was covered up by the scaffolding on 52nd street, which, by the way, never seemed to go away until I learned of their closing. The bathroom was basic – nothing fancy. Thick paper towels though. You know I like that shit.

Anniversary Post

Dear Loyal Meat Eaters & Readers:
 
It has been one year since I started this blog. Many cuts of beef have come and gone. Many delicious bites have passed my lips and, ultimately, exited my ass and entered into the NY sewer system. On to greener pastures. There have been new additions to my personal favorites list (Del Frisco’s, George Martin’s and Strip House). Many strong and steady NYC standards have held their ground as well (Delmonico’s and Keens). There were also some disappointments (Cattleman’s and J&R), but I must say that, after having been to 32 steakhouses in 52 weeks, there were very few all out FLOPS. In general, NYC is a great place for steak, and Long Island ain’t so bad either.
 
This post is meant to serve as a general thank you to all the waiters, waitresses, bussers, hosts, and chefs that have served me through phase one of this lifelong journey. It is a difficult lifestyle, but it is a glorious and noble one. I have a new-found appreciation for the food service industry, a deeper understanding of the restaurant business, and a much better skill set when it comes to cooking, especially cooking steak. I was good before, but now I am pretty awesome. So thank you for that!
 
In addition to more steakhouse reviews, phase two of this meatventure will likely involve some trips to Brazilian churrascaria joints (which have an unfair advantage when it comes to variety of cuts), some out-of-area reviews possibly contributed by various minions and other trusted meat eaters, and even some cooking tips. The economy is rough, and it has hit the meat industry hard, causing steak prices to rise about 15% over the course of the year. This will deter people from going out for expensive dinners, and make a bad experience feel much worse; if you pay $55 for a steak and it comes back messed up, that is pretty horrible. As such, some people will stay home and try to cook their own ribeyes and porterhouses. I will help make those meals the best they can be with some instructional posts and tutorials.
 
Stay tuned. Keep reading. Keep eating. And keep shitting it out and getting hungry again.
 
Yours in Beef,
Johnny Prime, CC

Capital Grille (Wall St.)

Capital Grille (Wall St.) overall score: 84

My wife and I spent the weekend in the city to watch a play and have a nice meal. We decided to try Capital Grille’s Wall Street location despite my bad experience in midtown, mainly because she had a 30% off coupon. I figured: different location, different chef, different ambiance… means most likely a different experience. I was right. See below:

Flavor: 7

I had the porterhouse, simply because I wanted to mix it up. I had the ribeye at the other location, and was hoping for a better experience here for our anniversary. They likely use the same supplier for their beef, and have the exact same menu, so by that logic I figured I might as well try something different. It was good, but not great. There were one or two bites that were just odd and bad tasting. Perhaps due to gristle proximity. I ordered medium rare but it came medium. I didn’t mind that so much since there was still some pink, but others might get pissed off at something big like that. The steak should have rested a bit more, as there was a puddle of juices under it when it was served. It wasn’t sizzling, but it was on a hot plate. Perhaps it was a t-bone and not a true porterhouse, but the filet side did seem large enough. In hindsight I should have stuck with ribeye, or a dedicated strip.
the food
the food
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
They have the essentials: strip, porterhouse, filet and ribeye. They also have a few variations on how they prepare them: au poivre, oscar, porcini rubbed, kona crusted, sliced with mushrooms, etc. Also, each is dry aged, so that is a bonus. Could have benefited from some flank or skirt selections.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
My porterhouse was 24oz, and the ribeye is 22oz. These are good sizes for steaks. For some appetizer items, however, there were some issues. The smoked salmon had four small to medium sized slices for $17 – seems lame. Also the crab meat app for $21 only had 4oz, which seemed too small. On the other hand, the sides and desserts were nicely sized portions.
Price: 9
The prices here are really fair for NYC fare. The ribeye and porterhouse are $48 as opposed to $55 in some places, and it is exactly the same size. I guess being a chain steakhouse does have some benefit for the customer – similar to the point I made in my second trip to Ruth’s Chris. Also we had a discount for 30% off, because my wife is a-freaking-mazing when it comes to finding deals on stuff (our 3rd row theater tix were only $30 each too). I have also taken into consideration that the food was better here, thus making the price more “worth it” as opposed to the midtown location. We saved $50 from the online deal at Savored, and we also got our coffee, tea, and dessert booze (Stoli Boli) for free. So our bill was only $127 after tax (2 drinks, 2 apps, 2 entrees, a side, and a dessert).
Bar: 8
The bar is a nice circular deal here, with high ceilings since he second floor overlooks it. It sits close to the open-windowed kitchen, so you can watch all the cooking (similar to Maloney & Porcelli). For $11 the martini is great – one of the cheaper martinis in all of NYC steakhouses, and it is made well.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
On special there was a scallops and broccoli rabe dish, and a king crab appetizer. I was expecting leg meat, but it was lump style, from the body. It was good but not worth $21. For other meats there is chicken, lamb, and other preparations of steaks not in the traditional steakhouse manner (see above).  For example porcini rubbed delmonico, kona crusted dry aged sirloin, etc. Good for other meats, or at least other preparations of the same meats. I would have liked to see a special cut of steak though, or some variations like flank or skirt.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We had the smoked salmon (delicious but small), and the special crab meat (expected leg meat but it was still good – just small) for apps. My wife had the shellfish plateau for her entree, which was a full half-pound lobster,  shrimp, and six oysters. A bit pricey at $50, but it all tasted great. On the side we had grilled asparagus. I make better at home, but this was interesting in that it was served with a lemon oil. For dessert we had the coconut cream pie. It was awesome.  I wish I still had room to finish it. It was served with a nice big coconut almond sugar cookie too, but the best part was he crust under the pie – soft yet crisp at the same time. Not too sweet – just right.
Seafood Selection: 9
This is essentially the same as the other restaurant. We tried the seafood tower, smoked salmon, and crab meat apps (see above and midtown review).  
Service: 10
Our waiter was great. He said Happy Anniversary to us several times. Despite getting a whopping 30% discount from Savored, they still gave us top notch attention. For dessert, they gave us complimentary Stoli Doli drinks (pineapple infused vodka that they soak fresh on site), and our coffee and tea were on the house as well. SWEET! The table breads were a good mix of onion loaf, seasoned rolls, pumpernickel raisin, and flat breads. The butter was soft and light, and seasoned fresh with salt and herbs/greenery.
Ambiance: 9
The ambiance at the Wall Street location is very similar to the midtown west location. The waiters and waitresses wear the classic bow ties. There is nice dark wood paneling on the walls, taxidermy and paintings on the walls, and a red patterned rug. The second floor has great views and a spacious set up. The music is a good selection of jazz. The bathroom had cool “Capital Grille” printed towelettes, and down on the lower level near the bathrooms is a great private dining room inside the old massive vault doors.

CAPITAL GRILLE
120 Broadway
New York, NY 10271

Empire Steakhouse

Empire Steakhouse overall score: 77

UPDATE: THIS LOCATION HAS CLOSED
On a whim my wife and I decided to give this place a try since it was right near work. Empire is run by former Luger’s and Ben & Jack’s staff, so you know there is clout behind what they do.
Flavor: 7
I had the ribeye, as usual. It was pretty tasty, but there were some quality issues that caused a slight decrease in flavor. See below for full details on that. As for flavor, it had a nice smoky, charred taste, which was enjoyable. It was nicely seasoned too, and cooked/rested correctly. They have a proprietary steak sauce on the table, but I didn’t dig it. It tasted like ketchup and horseradish (cocktail sauce).
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
Empire covers the basics in a plentiful way. They offer porterhouse for two, three, or four; ribeye; filet; strip; and even prime rib. To top it off there are veal and lamb chops too. The issue is that my particular cut was sub par. There was a good deal of inedible gristle and fat on it that didn’t melt away, and some spots were chewy. I’d guess about 3-4oz. worth was inedible. Also, the bone on it was rather big. Normally I don’t mind that one bit, but this time it took up a good amount of the ounce-age of the steak, so the edible portion size (taking bone and gristle into consideration) ended up on the small size even though it probably clocked in at around 20oz total weight. Maybe I was able to eat 12oz of it?
Portion Size & Plating: 7
For the steak, part of this relates back to the above comments: “There was a good deal of inedible gristle and fat on it that didn’t melt away. I’d guess about 3-4oz worth was inedible. Also, the bone on it was rather big. Normally I don’t mind that one bit, but this time it took up a good amount of the ounce-age of the steak, so the edible portion size (taking bone and gristle into consideration) ended up on the small size even though it probably clocked in at around 20oz total weight. Maybe I was able to eat 12oz of it?” The steak for multiples comes out pre-sliced on a sizzling platter, just like the assholes at Luger’s do, and just like the dunces at Mark Joseph do. I personally HATE this method of serving, because the meat bleeds out and becomes dry, and often it isn’t cooked properly. Anyone who is into steak knows that a steak should be rested before it is cut, not sizzling on a God-damned hot plate like a fucking steak fajita at TGI Fridays (by the way – fajita meats steak in Spanish… so steak fajita is the equivalent of saying “steak steak”). I understand the presentation is fun this way, but guys… come on… you are fucking up the meat! The creamed spinach, bacon slabs and creme brulee were the right sizes, but the oyster app was $14 for six pieces (see price section below), and the chilled seafood platter only had two shrimp, a fist full of lump crab meat, and a small lobster. To top it off, the shrimp and lobster on the seafood platter were utterly flavorless. The crab meat on it, however, was great.
Price: 7
The price wasn’t too bad considering we had a full meal in a NYC steakhouse. The total bill with tax and tip included came to about $175. The ribeye was $43, the seafood platter was $27, bacon by the slice was $4, and martinis were $13. As I mentioned above, however, the oysters were a little pricey, the steak was not the best cut, and the seafood platter was a bit lacking; so you pay a little less because you are getting a little less I suppose. 
Bar: 7
The bar is small but neat, modern and clean. The martini was a little heavier on the vermouth than I normally like, but they did have raspberry caipirinhas for the wifey to sip on. The best part about the bar was the free home made potato chips that tasted like steak meat.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
Empire has a prime rib for people who are too puss-cake for the ribeye. They also have lamb and veal chops to round out their selection of carnivorous delights. On special there was… nothing! Oh well. Not that big of a deal.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
My wife had the seafood platter for her entree, and that was flavorless in the two shrimp and small lobster section, but great for the lump crab meat portion. The oysters were creamy, crisp, cold  and fresh, but they were over priced. We also had the bacon slabs, which were “Canadian” style and tasted a bit more like ham than real bacon, but it was still yummy. On the side, we had creamed spinach, which was really great – almost exactly the same as Wolfgang’s, which are my favorite (retained the spinach flavor, not too salty, not heavy, yet still creamy). For dessert we had creme brulee, which was basic and standard… and good! I love me some creme brulee! 
Seafood Selection: 9
Empire has a really fantastic selection for seafood. For entrees they have sea bass, salmon, tuna, sole, lobster, crab cakes, and shrimp dishes. For apps they have the usual lump crab meat, crab cakes, lobster cocktail, shrimp cocktail, clams, oysters, baked clams, fried calamari, and a seafood platter. Excellent. From what we tried, however, we were only half pleased (loved the oysters and crab meat, didn’t like the shrimp and lobster so much), so I took a point for that.
Service: 9
Our waiter was a little aloof and quiet, but I don’t mind that so much. One of the other waiters actually had the courtesy to apologize to my wife when the group he was seating bumped into her twice, HARD, without even acknowledging the mishap. That was nice of him. The waiters all have red vests with bow ties on top of white tux shirts, all male. The bread basket was the same exact basket from Wolfgang’s: fennel and salt loaf, nice rigid french bread, and some poppy and onion rolls. Unfortunately one of the waiters knocked the french bread out of the basket when he was setting up our oysters. My wife likes French bread, so that was more her loss than mine.
Ambiance: 8
As mentioned above, the waiters all have red vests with bow ties on top of white tux shirts, and they’re all male. The decor is elegant and modern, but not over the top. Everything is neat and clean, including the bathroom, which had nice off-white marble tiles all over. It was a single person toilet with thick paper towels set upon the marble counter tops.

EMPIRE STEAKHOUSE
36 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

Wolfgang’s Steakhouse (Tribeca)

Wolfgang’s overall score: 87

Prior to a costumed “Bank Robber’s Ball” charity event, me, my wife, and my good friend went in 1920’s attire to Wolfgang’s for an early dinner. It turned out to be a great meal. A really solid steakhouse experience, and a place I will definitely visit again, if not one of their other NYC locations. See below. 
Flavor: 10
This place has some good meat. I had the ribeye, and my friend had the filet. Both were excellent. The filet was manly; a big hunk of meat on the plate, evenly cooked to a medium rare throughout. The bone-in ribeye was delicious too. Every bit of it was edible, quality, melt-in-your-mouth fat with good tenderness in the muscle. It was nicely cooked all the way through to a perfect, juicy medium. Temperatures and seasonings were just right.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Wolfgang’s sticks to the main four cuts; ribeye, filet, porterhouse for two through four, and strip. The good thing about it is they focus all their efforts into making those basics really well. To that end, all their beef is USDA prime and dry aged. This is serious good meat, so there is no deduction for lack of options in terms of cuts available.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

Portion sizes are great here. As I mentioned above the filet was a manly hunk of beef. I was impressed when I saw it, and I immediately refrained from calling my friend a pussy for ordering it. My guess is that it was at least 14oz. My ribeye was about 22-24oz.
Price: 9
The steaks themselves were fairly priced and similar to other places of the same caliber. The ribeye was $49, and a little less for the filet. However the bacon slices were a bit high at $5 each. They were great, so worth every penny, but just a bit on the high end. A martini runs $14, and our total bill for three came to $222 with tax and tip included. Not too bad, considering.
Bar: 9
The bar is really great here. I love the neighborhood, so having a nice view out the front onto Greenwich Street is nice. The bartender was really friendly and mixed a really great martini to boot. Good place to hang out, and made me miss the old days of when I lived in the area.
Specials and Other Meats: 6
There were no specials offered, but when we asked for a seafood plateau type of thing they did produce one (see below for the verdict on that). The only other meats I noticed on the menu were lamb and chicken, unfortunately.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 9
First we had the bacon by the slice; it was sizzling, thick, and freaking awesome. Next, my wife had the seafood plateau item (not on the menu) for her meal. It had lump crab, lobster, and shrimp. No oysters or clams. Throw a half dozen oysters on there and it is fine. But it is a far cry from the marvel of Strip House. However the creamed spinach was AMAZING. My favorite so far. There was a perfect savory flavor with the creaminess to cut it. It still retained that great spinach taste and wasn’t drowned out by the dairy aspect. We skipped dessert so I couldn’t comment on that.
Seafood Selection: 8
Sea bass, salmon, tuna and lobster grace the seafood menu here. Since we didn’t get to try any of those, I can’t rate them. My only gripe is that the seafood plateau was lacking, so I took two points for that.
Service: 9
Our waiter was nice, and his service was friendly, fast, and courteous. The bacon apps came out within moments of ordering. On the table there was a nice variety of seasoned breads to dig into as well, and the butter wasn’t ice cold – it spread nice and easily.
Ambiance: 9
This place has a great feel inside. There’s testosterone-laden decor with high ceilings and mosaic tile detailing. It is modern but manly. The floors are a dark, clean, wood laminate. A shiny glass wine room in the back center is very easy on the eyes. There’s a clean modern bathroom, with nice tile throughout trimmed by dark wood.

WOLFGANG’S
409 Greenwich St.
New York, NY 10013

Nick & Stef’s

Nick & Stef’s Steakhouse overall score: 86

 
This was my second time eating at Nick & Stef’s. The first time was a few years back, before I started reviewing. My wife and I went for an anniversary and the chef came out to ask how our meal was. I remember the steak was good that time (I had the strip). This time my wife had a coupon for $50 off the bill for her bday (sign up for their newsletters), so that was a recipe for return. Unfortunately this place is going to be closing for several months while MSG is renovated, so go while you can. Renovations may even stretch on into 2013 if certain things pan out.
NOTE: Nick & Stef’s is finally back! My wife and I went for a third visit on 02/25/14 and there were some improvements. See the below bolded items. 

Flavor: 9
I almost want to give this place a 10, but there was just a slight lack of flavor as I got toward the bone side of my ribeye. This is kind of splitting hairs, I realize… It was juicy and cooked properly, just lacked a little seasoning in that deep tissue. Otherwise it was fantastic. The ribeye had a nice thick and delicious fat cap, and it was butchered well. There was a nice sear on the outside and the meat was cooked perfectly even all the way through. However I didn’t taste any characteristic gaminess that I would have expected with aged and certified angus. I might have liked a bit of that.
oops. took the pic a little late

This time I remembered to take a photo. Since I had the rib eye and the strip already, I went with the filet. It was definitely still a solid 9 for flavor, despite much of it being nearly a step overcooked. Bravo for consistency of flavor!

They serve this little mound of joy with your choice of sauce. I had the horseradish cream, which is thankfully presented on the side, though it was great with the french fries (which came with the roasted chicken):

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Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Nick & Stef’s offers dry-aged, certified black angus steaks. This official certification is meant to guarantee consistent, high quality beef with superior taste. They have a sirloin (meant to be the strip), a T-bone (similar to a porterhouse for one but with a much smaller filet side), a porterhouse for two, and a ribeye that fall under this certification. They also offer two sizes of the filet (pussy and pussier). In addition they have a hanger steak, braised short ribs, and some alternative chops like lamb and veal on the menu as well.

Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portion sizes are listed as follows: 14oz. for the sirloin/strip; 20oz. T-bone; 42oz. porterhouse; 24oz. ribeye (bone-in); and 8 or 12oz. filets. These are good sizes, but the sirloin is a bit on the smaller side (though it is boneless).

Price: 10
The steaks are an average price for NYC. This place is close to MSG, so I was thinking it might even be more expensive than it actually was. The steaks range from $36 (small filet) to $47 (per person charge for the porterhouse). Our bill was under $200 after tax, tip and all deductions. The martini at the bar cost just under $16 (I threw down a $20 since Lawrence knows a friend and fellow meat man, Carlos), so that ups it a bit. Overall a fair price.
I bumped the price score to a full 10. Again we were able to use a $50 birthday promo, since my wife’s birthday was in January. On top of that, the prices haven’t moved too much in the 2 years since our last visit. Awesome.
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Bar: 8
The bar is cool. It has a unique wavy zig zag shape to it, creating a very conversational environment. Located adjacent to Penn Station and MSG, it can get pretty lively with the after work and pre-event crowds. It can be quite fun if that is what you are going for.
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They make a nice gin martini – the Beefeater they use is the special 24 kind, so the flavor is much nicer than the standard. Fresh. 
On the third trip I tried the “Bloody Bull” – essentially a Bloody Mary with steak sauce mixed in, and beef flavor. My wife had a Manhattan that was on the cocktail menu, and it was mixed nicely. Easy to slurp.
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Specials and Other Meats: 8
As mentioned above, Nick & Stef’s has veal chops and lamb chops. They also have a roasted chicken to round out the basics for non-beef. On the beef front, outside of the normal four chops they have a braised short rib and a hanger cut. On special were oysters, butternut squash soup, surf & turf (lobster + filet), a sweet potato fries side, and a striped bass entree served over a broth with butter beans.
Here’s a shot of the roasted chicken that my wife had, which comes with Parmesan and rosemary french fries. It was pretty good – though the breast meat was a little on the dry side:
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Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We had a few items: first, I had a half order each of both east and west coast oysters. The west coast were a bit more potent, while the east were nice and crisp. They were served with a really awesome mustard horseradish old bay infused cream that was incredible on everything. Top notch condiment. They should bottle that shit and sell the fuck out of it. The tuna tartare was just okay. It had a little bit of stringy texture to it, like the tissue between flakes of body meat were too over worked. We’ve had better elsewhere, though it did have a nice flavor overall with the capers, calamata olives and green peppers chopped up inside. We shared an order of creamed spinach, which cut the savory flavors nicely with a light veggie flavor. The green beans were good too – they were seasoned just right to bring out all the nice natural flavors, while still retaining a good snap and firmness in texture. My wife ordered the seafood plateau app for her meal, and it was pretty fantastic: mussels, clams, oysters, shrimp cocktail, lobster cocktail, lump crab meat, boiled crawfish, and salmon tartare were all included for under $40. The dressing on the salmon was basically the cocktail sauce (unimpressive – basically ketchup), but otherwise it was a really great item to order. For dessert we had the apple cobbler, which is served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. I was not that impressed by it, but I was also pretty fucking stuffed from eating every ounce of meat on my steak.
On trip number three, we had sauteed spinach, which was just right – not too salty or overly garlicky.
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We also had the steak tartare. It was okay – I’ve had better, but it certainly did the trick.
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We also shared a key lime pie. Not nearly as good as Gallagher’s. It had a slight bitterness which often accompanies the center portion of key lime pie, but we still ate it all.
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Seafood Selection: 9
This place offers a good amount of fish. Aside from onion soup, there is ONLY seafood in the apps section of the menu. Shrimp, crab meat and lobster cocktail dishes, raw clams and oysters, and a seafood platter that even has crawfish and ceviche. In addition to the cold stuff they have lobster bisque, crab cakes, tuna tartare, fried calamari and baked clams. Solid. On the entree side they offer a mixed seafood grill, crab cakes, salmon, grilled whole branzino, yellowfin tuna and shrimp scampi. They also had a special striped bass item that wasn’t on the menu. It sounded delicious.

Service: 9
The waiter reminded me of a more cheerful, upbeat version of Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption. He was great and friendly. The waitstaff are mixed male and female, but all wear traditional white shirt/black tie combos as a nod to tradition. The table breads were nice and crispy: a roll, a log, a bun, and some flats with a spreadable butter. Basics.

Ambiance: 8
It doesn’t help that there is scaffolding all over the front of the restaurant, but anyone familiar with NYC doesn’t care about that, since at any moment at least 1/4 of NYC is covered by the blight of restoration/maintenance/repair. The interior is in need of an upgrade. It is semi-sleek and modern, dimly lit, nice, but not trying too hard. The ceilings feel a bit low, since the awkward ceiling levels have been covered over with a strange angled architecture that was meant to look cool, but instead looks more like a bad wooden version of Superman’s fortress of solitude. The music selection was great: Sinatra and the crooners, mixed with some 40s and tin pan alley. The bathroom had stacks of nice thick paper towels, but the door was positioned oddly such that they had to hang curtains to block the view from outside to give some privacy to those taking a piss at the urinal.
FINALLY – the fucking scaffolding is GONE. 
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But that interior… Man – I don’t like it.
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NICK & STEF’S
9 Pennsylvania Plaza
New York, NY 10001

E&E Grill House

E&E Grill House overall score: 89

NOTE: This place is now CLOSED!
My wife discovered E&E Grill House through one of those coupon deal websites (Living Social). It seemed like an interesting quasi-steakhouse kind of place, so we gave it a shot. I think the deal we purchased was something like $40 gets you $90 worth of menu items. Not bad! As it turns out, E&E happened to BLOW AWAY many of the so called top steakhouses in NYC. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality, flavor and choices available here, and most impressed with the extremely friendly staff.
Flavor: 10
Everything here tasted exceptional – apps, sides, entrees, and dessert. Here I will focus only on the steak entree. I ordered the ribeye, as I always do to test the mettle of a steakhouse. The meat was perfectly cooked to medium, it was allowed to rest properly to keep those juices locked in, and the flavor had a slight gaminess to it (it was aged prime beef) that added character. Perfectly seasoned – not too salty or overly crusted with seasoning. Just right. These guys know how to handle their slabs of meat. The central portion had nice marbling because the meat stayed soft and tender, it chewed easily, and was packed with goodness. The fat cap was a bit smaller than I had hoped, but it was so freaking delicious. I picked the bone clean. What a welcome meal after last night’s misery at Gallagher’s. That’s right – I ate fucking ribeye two nights in a row, and this place STILL scored top marks. The meat man is impressed.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
E&E offers two filets: 8oz (for pussies and women) and 14oz (a bone-in conundrum for people with more than a few inches of penis dangling between their legs). They have a hanger, a skirt, a strip and a ribeye as well. They don’t have a porterhouse on their standard menu (I took a point for that), but they still offer both strip and filet, so you can create your own porterhouse if you really feel the need to. Porterhouse isn’t really my thing anyway. But they make up for the lack of a porterhouse with the alternative selections (hanger and skirt), which were nice to see on the menu.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portion sizes are a bit on the smaller side. I think they are good for the money though. The filets are 8oz and 14oz (these are actually right in the average zone). The strip is a bit small at 12oz (lunch size at Ruth’s Chris). The 9oz hanger, and the 8oz skirt are a bit small as well, though deceiving if you see the size of the hanger on the plate. The ribeye gets close to normal at 18oz (bone-in). The plus here is that you get a great meal for your buck; every ounce is delicious.
Price: 9
The steaks range from $23 (hanger – nice sized portion by the way – bigger than you expect) to $58 (ribeye), so they are about right for the size, perhaps bordering on slightly expensive if you don’t have a Living Social coupon. The bonus here is that they regularly offer deals through Living Social and those kinds of websites, so you can basically get $50 of your meal for free if you keep an eye out for those deals before you go. Our bill, after all deal deductions, tax and tip, came to about $150 – sweet!
Bar: 8
The bar is so-so. It isn’t bad by any means at all. It is neat, clean, chic – not the traditional steakhouse type of bar. It is a bit small, so not sure if I could see myself hanging out there other than while waiting for a table. The place is adjacent to a nice hotel so there is likely some traffic from there, which is good for E&E since people will likely eat and enjoy the place after having a drink, or before going to a show. The bartender was really friendly, and made a great martini just how I like it (very dry). The best part about the bar is that they have a really awesome selection of specialty cocktails with bold new ideas and ingredients (such as elderflower, cucumber water, and other fresh taste bud popping flavors) in conjunction with rich, old-timey classic favorites. We tried the Violet Beauregarde (great name) and the Hendrick’s 49. Both were fantastic.
Specials and Other Meats: 9
This place has pork chops, lamb chops and chicken by way of alternameats. They have tofu on the menu. Come on, man. Really? WTF!!??!? I had to take a point off for that, just because. I guess it is nice that they are thinking of vegan losers too, but maybe I am just an old fashioned carnivore (with an appreciation for the societal good inherent in bullying). If it were up to me, vegans would be shaved, sterilized and destroyed! In addition to a good selection of other meats, they also had some specials on the menu. Three to be exact; first was an appetizer special of west coast oysters + caviar. Second was Onaga fish (similar to red snapper, hailing from Hawaii). Third was duck l’orange (breast and thigh/leg). We had two of these – read on for the verdict.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
AMAZING! EVERYTHING WE ORDERED WAS AMAZING! First, we started with a trio of appetizers; the special oysters, the grilled bacon, and the buffalo steak tartare. The oysters were really fresh, and the caviar on top made the flavor pop. Instead of Tabasco they offered Sri Racha to kick the spice level up. YES! Sri Racha is awesome on anything. Put it on cardboard and I will eat it. The grilled bacon was the ultimate; nice thick slabs of perfectly cooked goodness with a creamy, zingy sauce on the side to dip into. I could eat that shit all day. The buffalo steak tartare was delicious too – very lean, and served with a cooling bone marrow mayo that added just the right amount of fat back into the meat. What an amazing flavor that marrow mayo had to it. It was like a refreshing, cool fat-foam, and served beautifully inside a hollowed out length of bone (where the marrow would normally be). The entrees each come with a sauce and a side item, which is rare in the steakhouse world. Usually sides are a la carte, over priced, and over sized, and sauces are an upcharge. These sides were just right. We had creamed spinach and grilled broccolini. Broccolini is my favorite veggie on earth, so I was psyched to see it on the menu. It was nicely grilled and packed a lot of flavor. The heads had a beautiful char on them that added a crispy texture to the normal snap of a nicely cooked veggie. The creamed spinach was very nice and creamy; not too rich but it still had a lot of flavor to it. Before I move to dessert I need to mention the sauces. If you are getting a steak, order the sauce ON THE SIDE. The steaks are so well prepared that you really shouldn’t cover them with anything except for the saliva that dangles from your mouth as you drool and wait to dig in. The sauces are good, but probably better for going into on occasion rather than with every bite. That is my opinion anyway. I had the “blue butter” which was essentially a blue cheese flavored butter. It was really delicious, but I couldn’t do every bite of my steak with that on top. I was glad I ordered it on the side. My wife had the tomato shallot white wine sauce, which went perfectly as a bedding underneath her fish entree. For dessert we shared a slice of key lime pie. Our waiter (Chris, who was awesome – see below) informed us that it is made fresh on site every morning. It had a great tartness to it without being too sweet, or “cloying,” as assholes on Food Network like to say all the time. Add to that the nice airy meringue and you have a perfectly balanced dessert. The table breads were interesting too; warm homemade biscuits with a smooth whipped honey butter. Nice touch!
Seafood Selection: 8
They only have a salmon dish and a scallop dish on their entree menu in terms of fish. But their apps feature smoked salmon, crab fritters, and mussels. Add to that the specials of oysters (app) and the Onaga (entree), and you are ALMOST at a top-notch seafood level. I think they should scrap the tofu entree if it’s not a big seller, and replace it with a nice seared sushi-grade tuna dish, like a tataki preparation or something. Sure – it is a little expected, but I think it goes with the chic and clean decor style. The Onaga was really great. The meat was succulent and fell off the cut in pieces that resembled lump crab meat. This Hawaiian fish is similar to red snapper, but a little more robust and meaty. A nice fit for a steakhouse, I think. It had a great crispy crust to boot.
Service: 10
I was greeted with warm smiles and a friendly attitude when I walked in. At the bar, I met a gentleman who was genuinely interested in his customers, and very amicable; he asked about growing beards, as I had a nice full one at the time. He mixed a great drink as well! Our waiter Chris could not have done a better job. He was extremely helpful with suggestions on dishes, sauce combinations, etc. He did an amazing job explaining how certain dishes were prepared, and was very thorough in describing the specials and answering our questions. His personal opinions on which dishes he liked best were helpful too, and our dining experience was heightened by his exceptional service and attention to detail. Overall the staff here is just on another level. E&E should be proud of them, and I look forward to returning for another fantastic meal.
Ambiance: 8
E&E is more of a modern steakhouse/restaurant. So temper your expectations with that knowledge up front. I typically prefer the old-school steakhouse feel, but I am not opposed to the modern style if done right. For example, Primehouse is one of my top rated steak joints and it is a modern joint rather than the old style of Keens (also a favorite). In other words, I don’t discriminate. E&E did a really wonderful job with the space here. It is modern, but not pretentious and overly trendy. It is just right. I particularly liked the paintings/photographs on the wall that were screened onto floor tiles and mounted together. Very nice! Everything is clean too – bathrooms included (small, personal, one-at-a-time deals).

E&E GRILL HOUSE
233 W. 49th St.
New York, NY 10019

Gallagher’s Steakhouse

Gallagher’s overall score: 76

Gallagher’s is an old-time New York City staple that got its start as a speakeasy during Prohibition (what a horrific idea that was). It is known for its window-of-steaks and hickory log cooking process. It has always been highly recommended. Tonight it got the Johnny Prime treatment. See below for the specifics.
NOTE: Gallaghers (no more apostrophe) was just recently remodeled and overhauled to be a completely new steakhouse. See my updated review for the improvements.
Flavor: 5
Unfortunately, Gallagher’s lacked punch. The strip had decent flavor, but the filet and ribeye were both under seasoned. My ribeye was tight in the center part, which means there was not enough marbling. I also had a lot of gristle in the fat cap – so much that it was inedible. That means the best part of the steak was essentially ruined. I also had a taste of an end cut of prime rib; the crispy edges were great, but otherwise it was a bit dry and over cooked. I suppose that is somewhat expected with an end cut though. Maybe someone who is a more of a steak purist would like it here since there is not much by way of seasoning, but I am also talking about a lack of basic salt and pepper use as well. Overall, I can put it this way: I have had much better steaks at local “mom-and-pop” Long Island places for half or a third of the price.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
Gallagher’s offers a great variety of beef. They have all four standards. Their signature cut is a 21-day dry aged (in-house) prime sirloin NY Strip. They also have the necessary filet and ribeye cuts. For the slightly vaginal, they have a prime rib, which is essentially a slow-roasted ribeye. They also offer the giant burger known as the “chopped steak,” and a “sliced beefsteak,” which I believe to be the porterhouse, though I am not positive. Their website says that all of their steaks are prime quality and aged, which I believe to be true since you can actually see the meat in the aging room as you walk in. However I expected more out of my meat than what I got here in terms of quality, so I am taking points off despite what I saw in the showcase. There should be no tightness or gristle in a prime, aged ribeye that costs close to $60. I had both tightness and gristle, not to mention an overall lack of flavor.
Portion Size & Plating: 7
Portion sizes are good – not huge, but that is probably due to the fact that the aging process shrinks the cuts slightly (sometimes up to a third). The NY Strip comes in 14oz or 18oz sizes. There are two sizes of filet as well, 10oz and 14oz. The ribeye was estimated at 18-20oz.
Price: 7
Our bill for four people came to about $125 each, tax and tip included. We had a few drinks, a big sharing-sized seafood platter, we each had a cut of steak, we shared two sides, and then we shared a light dessert with some coffee. The bill seemed reasonable, even though the seafood platter was a bit expensive. Had the steaks been better, Gallagher’s might have scored higher with respect to value. Since the steaks weren’t that great, I had to drop the score here.
Bar: 9
The bar is nice. It is old fashioned, and the bartenders are nice gentlemen. They have baskets of home made kettle cooked potato chips lining the bar. They tasted like they were seasoned with garlic and Parmesan cheese – really tasty. The martini was well mixed too ($13.50 a pop for Beefeater).
Specials and Other Meats: 8
This place has a great selection of alternative meats. Pork chops, lamb chops, veal chops, roasted chicken and even a calf’s liver steak. Nice! But there were no specials in the beef section.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6
We had the seafood platter for an appetizer. It came with lump crab meat, shrimp cocktail, a full lobster, smoked salmon, oysters and clams. It was the best part of the meal, so worth the hefty price tag (something like $140). On the side we had creamed spinach and onion rings. The creamed spinach was sucky. It was watery, and it lacked flavor and creaminess. Skip it. The onion rings, like everything else, lacked salt and flavor, though they did have a nice crisp to them. The chips at the bar would have been a MUCH nicer side, and they were free! For dessert we each had an espresso and shared strawberries and cream. Basically, nicely ripened and sweet strawberries topped with a dollop of homemade cool whip. You can’t really fuck that up too much, so we figured it was a safe bet.
Seafood Selection: 9
EVERY appetizer except the steak tartare is seafood. Shrimp cocktail, fried shrimp, clams, oysters, crab cakes, lump crab meat, fried calamari, and smoked salmon. For entrees they have salmon, halibut, lobster, crab cakes and a fish of the day.
Service: 9
Our waiter was good – no complaints. He was nice, non-intrusive, and fast. He also answered some questions we had about famous guests and the decor. The bread on the table was semi-warm, and there were a few different varieties of rolls (everything, onion, ciabatta, etc).
Ambiance: 9
Situated in the upper Times Square area and the theater district, Gallagher’s gets a lot of foot traffic. People gawk outside and stare at the meat room, and who wouldn’t!? It looks delicious. The inside is old fashioned and traditional, with a full male wait staff (as far as I could tell) wearing bow ties. The tables are covered with red and white checkered cloth picnic table material, the furniture is all old wood stuff (some of the stools at the bar are really old and wobbly), and the walls are covered with sports memorabilia and photos of famous people who have visited the establishment. The bathrooms boast oversized old marble furnishings typical of the 1920s.
 

GALLAGHER’S
228 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

Maloney & Porcelli

Maloney & Porcelli overall score: 90

UPDATE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!!!
I had heard wonderful things about this place from a friend and coworker – specifically about the signature pork dish – so my wife and I decided to go here for our Christmas dinner.
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I’m not sure if it truly qualifies as a steakhouse, but I am treating it as such based on the menu, which is clearly beef-heavy.
Flavor: 9
This place was incredible for the entrees. I ordered a ribeye, and my wife ordered the crackling pork shank. The steak was cooked perfectly from end to end, it was juicy, well portioned, nicely seasoned and delicious. The pork is really something special though. The skin is so crispy and the fat underneath just melts in your mouth. Some of the best eating I’ve had in NYC right there.
On subsequent visits, I’ve tried the Bronson Pinchot steak: 9/10

As well as the Wellington Rossini: 8/10
Their porterhouse is a 9/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
There was a great selection of beef. First, they have five different styles of filet and two different sizes for each: classic, cajun, au poivre, roquefort crusted, and oscar. Add to that a “bone-in” filet (the conundrum) on special. Impressive… but if you are ordering a filet it may as well be a filet of flounder in my eyes. Man up and get a real cut of beef, pricks. Next, they have porterhouse for two, a ribeye (two sizes), and a sirloin (also two sizes). There is a braised short rib as well. I took points off because there is no porterhouse for one, and no proper strip steak. All the meat is prime quality though, so that is a feather in the cap. Furthermore, it’s all dry-aged on site.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
Portions are big. My ribeye was on the order of 22-24oz (bone-in), and the pork shank was certainly enough to feed two. The scallop appetizer portion was a little on the small side, but the sides were enough for two or more, so it evens out.
Price: 8
The price point is about right for NYC steakhouses. It could even be considered a bargain considering that this place is semi-legendary among NYCers, and is usually packed out on any given night. It is $48/pp for the porterhouse, filets range from $42-$52 depending on preparation and size, the sirloins are $43/$48, and the ribeyes are $45/$50. The martini is $14.
Bar: 9
The bar is an island set-up. They do make a good martini, and they use castelvetrano olives with the pits still inside as garnish, which is a huge bonus as they are my favorite kind of olive (bright green, ample brine, and meaty but not too firm). One cool thing about the bar area is that there is a row of bar stool seats that face into the kitchen. Essentially the kitchen is open view to the public. You can sit and nurse your drink or order bar menu items and watch the cookery in full swing.
Specials and Other Meats: 10
Roasted chicken, rack of lamb, and braised short rib are all on the regular menu along with the big daddy – the crackling pork shank with firecracker applesauce. This place is famous for that dish.
On special they also had plenty to choose from, apps and entrees alike, so this place definitely gets the full till on this category. Don’t skip out on the bone-in chicken parm. This thing is killer!
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
We had a bunch of stuff here.
First, an order of east coast oysters (6) – blue island and malpeque. They were delicious. There were one or two shell shards, but nothing to deduct points over. Next we had a sea scallop appetizer and the plate of blood sausage and sweet breads. The scallops were on the small side. There were two on the plate for about $16, and they were half the side that a normal scallop should be. They were closer to bay size than sea size, if you catch my drift. They were also a bit overcooked, which was a shame. The hints of fennel were nice, and otherwise they tasted great. The sweet breads were crisp outside and creamy inside. A little buttery, but I didn’t mind so much. The blood sausage was nice and mild in flavor but small in portion size. However there was a nice “stuffing” that accompanied the items to make up for it. On the side we had creamed spinach and the “signature balls.” Sounds delicious, right? PICK A NEW NAME FOR THE BALLS M&P! The spinach was a bit watery and not so creamy, but the lack of cream was not unwelcome considering how rich everything else was in the meal. The balls were essentially potato hush puppies, supposedly filled with cheese, though I didn’t get much of that flavor inside. They definitely tasted like chive though – they were just mediocre. For dessert we had a variety of creme brulees. There were six flavors (chocolate, key lime, banana, almond, coffee and vanilla). They were neatly served inside empty egg shells in a porcelain egg holder. Very cool, and a bonus point on plating! It was fun to taste them all.
On a subsequent visit, I couldn’t help but try the dry-aged meatball. This thing is beautiful, all covered up with melted mozzarella and swimming in a light marinara sauce.
The wagyu carpaccio is intensely marbled.
Seafood Selection: 10
They offer several preparations of lobster, salmon, tuna, trout, red snapper, and even a roast whole fish. For the vagina of your dining party, this place certainly has a great selection. From what I hear, the quality and taste is fantastic; especially the trout. They also have the standard apps, like lump crab meat, shrimp cocktail, lobster cocktail, clams, and a variety of east and west coast oysters. There were seafood specials too, both under apps and entrees.
Service: 10
Our waiter(s) were a bit impersonal. They didn’t seem as attentive as other places we have been to and that I have rated. In fact, they served us our apps and forgot to take our entree order. My wife had to call the guy over to take our entree order when we were nearly finished with the appetizers. They made up for this though by giving us each a complimentary glass of champagne at dessert. Nice touch. The table breads were warm when they came to us; a loaf of pretzel bread served with a mustard seed butter. Very innovative and fun. They also serve this extremely flat, crispy item that almost looks like a tortilla or some kind of flatbread cracker. We didn’t have any in our basket, but other diners did. What up wit’ that?
Ambiance: 9
The look is early to mid 20th century, but it isn’t as authentic as other places feel. There is a wrap-around upstairs that encircles the outer perimeter of the restaurant and looks down over the main dining area and bar. We sat up there. Everything looks nice and is clean. The music was crooner stuff and tin pan alley, which I liked. The bathroom was big and clean, and they had stacks of individually folded cloth hand towels for drying off. Nice.

MALONEY & PORCELLI
37 E. 50th St.
New York, NY 10022