Tag Archives: cheeseburger

Montmartre

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS CLOSING IN MARCH OF 2016!!!

A waiter named Jeremy over at Capital Grille (midtown west) recommended this place when we got to chatting about the city’s best burgers. He certainly knew his food shit, so I was excited to finally get here to try the burger. The same owners are involved with Bar Sardine, which also slings an excellent burger, so I knew I’d be in good hands at the very least.

Jeremy’s suggestion was a good one! This baby, although slapped between two buttery pieces of sourdough toast (as opposed to on a proper bun), was packed with great flavor. The meat is dry aged beef, and it was seared to a perfect temperature: pink center, good crust all around to lock in the juices, and well seasoned. Above and beneath the patty is a bernaise cheese spinach and pickled onions, respectively. Loved every bite. The bernaise cheese brought a little funk to the party (with a nice nod to steakhouse “creamed spinach,” I might add), and the pickled onion was a great twist on the much needed acid. The fried were natural cut, nice and crispy, and well seasoned with herbs and sea salt. Take a look at this shit:

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 UPDATE AS OF 8/25/15

My wife and I stopped in for a quick dinner after a Tabelog event nearby. We kept it pretty basic. First was a nice snack of fresh radishes with country bread, whipped butter and salt flakes. The radishes were actually pretty spicy and had a great pop to them.

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My wife had the mussels. Many of them were pretty small inside the shell. I don’t like them too big, but I also don’t like them too small. The broth had some fresh herb notes to it, like maybe tarragon. I’ve had better mussels elsewhere, but that’s not to say that these were bad by any means.

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I ordered the hanger steak frites. It was perfectly cooked to medium rare and had a good sear on the outside. The sauce with it was garlicky and gave it pop. The texture of the meat was slightly off. It reminded me of some of the odd meats my wife and I used to get in Mexico from the resorts. Almost like it was over tenderized using an MSG type of product. I’m sure that’s not what was done here, but it just had that feel to it. Otherwise I liked it. I’d say its about a 7 out of 10, possibly an 8.

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MONTMARTRE
158 8th Ave.
New York, NY 10011

The Spotted Pig

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS CLOSED!

It was PACKED when we arrived at around 1pm on a Saturday, even after all these years of being in business. Good for them! We were looking at roughly an hour wait unless we grabbed a seat at the bar. So we put our name down on the list to be seated, and headed upstairs to the second bar in hopes of scoring a seat a little faster. To our great fortune, a group of four people were getting up from the bar to be seated at their table. When I went to grab a pair of stools for my wife and I, a woman slid over one seat and was claiming the two bar stools in the middle of the four. I asked her politely if she could move over in one direction so that my wife and I could sit, but the loser wouldn’t move.

Four spots open up and she jumped into the center two, by herself, while waiting for her guest, who wasn’t even there yet? That’s just bad social etiquette. She was nasty, too, and had horrible breath. When I explained that there are four available seats and four people who want to sit, she started to argue “but we are getting lunch.” Newsflash: so are we! And she was getting aggressive and loud! So I alerted the manager. He politely asked her and her guest, “Ken,” who had lightly shoved me at one point after his date called me “scary,” to move. They wouldn’t move . The manager kindly sat us right away when they wouldn’t shift, I assume effectively jumping us ahead in the wait line. We ended up with a much better seat anyway, downstairs, with plenty of elbow room.

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My wife had one of the $14 cocktails called “Novo Mundo,” made with a Brazilian rum type booze (cachaca), egg white, sugar and lemon.

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I had a pair of Naragansett beers, which I like to call Manhattan’s new PBR, because it’s cheap, in a can and because I’ve been enjoying it way before it made it onto the Hipsters’ radar. They always seem take what I like and fuck it up. Whether it is gentleman’s caps, twisty butcher mustaches, vintage graphic t-shirts, bacon, beards or beers. Fucking animals.

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We ordered some starters. The pickles were WAY the fuck overpriced, at $6 for what is typically a free amount at a place like Keens. The deviled egg was a little pricey at $4. Both items were tasty. The pickles were bright and tart, and consisted of carrots, gherkins, radish and green beans.

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photo by my wife
photo by my wife

For the entrees, my wife ordered sisig pork. It had some bits of pig ear and other nice things, topped with a runny fried egg. Essentially this is their English “bubble and squeak” dish, but with Filipino spices and herbs like cilantro. It was good, lots of pork meat, but too salty, and a little greasy as well.

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The burger I ordered was good, perfectly cooked. The bun was great, durable and grilled. The negatives: the Roquefort cheese was a little overpowering of the burger meat, and it definitely could have used a slice of tomato and some lettuce. I’ve had this burger in the past, about 10 years ago. I think it may have cost around $16 back then. It’s $21 now, but since it comes with “fries” the cost is very fair.

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The shoestring potatoes had fried garlic slices and fried rosemary mixed throughout, and tasted and felt, crisp/texture-wise, like the old school potato sticks snacks.

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The banoffee dessert was very good – not too sweet; just right. Essentially this English dessert pie is made from bananas, cream and toffee made from boiled sweetened condensed milk.

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THE SPOTTED PIG
314 W. 11th St.
New York, NY 10014

Thanksgiving Leftovers: The Stuffing Burger

A number of variations on this gem can be concocted depending on what’s left in your fridge after the annual gorge-fest known as Thanksgiving. I had an abundance of leftover stuffing and ham, so that’s the route I went this time. Check it out, assholes.

STEP 1: Sculpt your stuffing into burger sized patties. My patties were pretty sweet since my stuffing also had sausage meat already incorporated into it (Momma’s recipe is amazing).

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STEP 2: Fry off some ham. Get it nice and brown/crisp on the edges.

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STEP 3: You should have some hammy oil in the pan now. LEAVE IT! Put your patties in and let them sizzle up like a regular burger.

STEP 4: Flip once, when they are browned.

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STEP 5: Add first layer of cheese. If possible, cover the pan so the cheese begins to melt from the steam that builds up.

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STEP 6: Pop some ham on that bitch.

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STEP 7: Add second layer of cheese (and cover if possible).

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STEP 8: Take the burgers off the pan with a spatula and fry up some eggs for the top.

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STEP 9: Top off your burgers with an egg or two.

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STEP 10: EAT.

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I had no buns in the apartment, but since the burger is primarily made from bread, there’s really no need for a bun anyway. Just fork and knife it.

Bar Sardine

My awesome wife and I rocked the shit out of this place with my awesome cousin and his equally awesome wife after said awesome cousin told me how awesome the burger was at this place. I must say that I agree with the call that this burger was as every bit as awesome as described. But we also had some other awesome shit as well.

What, you might ask? How about this awesome cucumber, coconut water and gin drink?

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The awesome appetizers we took down consisted of three awesome plates of food.

First were these awesome deviled eggs. These little fucks were whipped up with black bean paste, soy sauce and black garlic, then topped with some sliced onion and a dot of sriracha sauce.

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Next up was this awesome plate of roasted carrots. These were topped with puffed, caramelized squash seeds and served alongside a spicy hummus. These were fuck-yo-mamma-in-the-ass good. Light, yet hearty and filling.

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Last of the starters was what  I consider to be the most awesome cheese in the entirety of the cheese industry. Burrata. Here it was served with some confit tomatoes and anchovies, with a little toast and olive oil as well. I’ve had better/softer burrata at other joints, but this was a really tasty item.

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Now that the awesome foreplay scene is done, we can eagerly move on to the full blown penetration. I’m talking’ some deep, cervix-mashing penetration.

This “Fedora Burger” is… how can I put this… awesome. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare, topped with house made pickles (light, maybe a quarter sour, more like cucumbers than pickles), crispy potato shreds, red onions, smoked cheddar and BBQ mayo. The bun was strong yet soft and pliable – it stood up well to the burger, and it even had a little toast to it for good measure. Take a look at this little slut:

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And like all awesome sluts, they’re still pink on the inside.

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My awesome wife ordered the special for the day, which was a Cuban sandwich. This sandwich was a big ol’ bitch. Extremely buttery and toasty on the outside, and porky grilled cheese-like on the inside, this Cuban was intense.

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However, as awesome as the Cuban was, that fucking whore burger shined brighter than the mother fucking North Star in comparison, as if leading all of our taste buds directly to Jesus God-damned Baby Christ in his hay-filled and barnyard-animal-surrounded manger.

The little fucking poor-ass drummer boy even tried to use a pair of half-crisped herbed french fries to wail away on that perfect burger-drum for the King of Kings on his birthday. The fries packed some good flavor but still needed a little crisp to make them worthy of the word awesome.

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The place got awesomely packed. I snapped a pic of the bar area and some wall art, as well as the not-so-awesome bill, which was a little high but worth every penny.

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So that’s 21 times that I used the word awesome. <= That’s 22.

BAR SARDINE
183 W. 10th St.
New York, NY 10014

P.J. Carney’s

This little Irish pub is right around the block from my apartment. Allow the pic below of the signage to fuck with your mind a little…

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I was shocked to see the prices so low ($12 for a burger and fries), being they are located on 7th Avenue right near Central Park. I figured it for a tourist trap, but the inside is cozy and inviting, with great light from the windows.

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I had heard there was a decent burger here, so I had to check it out.

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I had the regular burger with american cheese. The cheese was a bit odd – not in a bad way, just different. It was like the shredded kind you see in a bag to sprinkle over nachos. My burger was a bit over cooked and a bit dry, but it was at least still tasty.

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My wife had the Gaelic burger, which was topped with swiss cheese, sautéed onions and confit garlic. Her’s was cooked better and was much juicier, but the bun didn’t hold up well – it got a little messy when eating.

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The fries were good and golden-crisp, and the place had some cool beer cocktails that are worth trying. We had the Patch & Orchard and Harvey Weissbanger.

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To sum up: I’d probably go back for the convenience and atmosphere factors, but maybe I’d be more careful to order my burger medium rare or rare next time, instead of medium.

PJ CARNEY’S
906 7th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Route 66 Cafe

This place intrigued me after I tasted some of their suppliers meats at the wine and food festival. I figured I would give their burger a shot. It was good – lots of flavor. I’d put it above Bareburger but perhaps not quite as good as Penrose. The bread was durable yet soft, the meat was nicely cooked and well handled. The fries were perfectly golden brown and crispy.

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beer

ROUTE 66 CAFE
858 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Pete’s Tavern

Pete’s is the oldest continuously operating establishment in NYC. It opened in 1864 and has not closed or switched locations since.

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What’s cool here is that the old cashier’s cage is still right there at the end of the bar. It used to be that the cashier would sit in the cage with the money/register to be protected from being robbed.

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They even have this funny old sign for how to live on $15 a week:

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The bartender Phil was awesome too; really friendly guy, easy to talk with, outgoing and generally just made the place a great spot to hang out. I hadn’t ever been in here before (shame on me), but he suggested coming back around Christmas time when the lights are up at the bar. Definitely. Thanks Phil!

Anyway we saw this burger on the menu and figured it had to be tried for our second burger of the night:

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It turned out to be a bit of a let down. The meat was excellent, as to be expected, but there was not enough cheese. Also the tomato was sliced too thick – almost as thick as the burger patty. The waffle fries were done perfectly though.

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A friend of mine met up with me and my buddy here while we were eating before he met with some broad for a date. He was hungry too, so he ordered the regular burger and we all shared:

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This was much better eating: definitely better than the huntsman burger.  Although my buddy was a little cranked about a pricing discrepancy (bar menu on the wall that he ordered from did not match the printed menu that he was charged from), and the burger was cooked a little under how he wanted it (I would have been fine with that temp – look at it – it looks perfect!), it was indeed a good burger. I think I would take the Old Town burger over this one though, but it was close.

In sum, this was an amazing bar to hang out in. It’s an absolutely amazing piece of NYC history, and it will definitely stay that way with staff like Phil at the bar, who make the place even better.

If burgers ain’t your thing, then try one of their extremely fair-priced brunch deals that range from $12-$15 for three courses, or maybe their delicious corned beef sandwich:

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PETE’S TAVERN
129 E. 18th St.
New York, NY 10003

Old Town

Old Town is one of NYC’s oldest and most awesome bars. It opened in 1892 and has remained relatively unchanged since.

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Even the urinals are old, and big (for big cocks): the kind that used to be at the Village Idiot, Ear Inn, Gallagher’s and Pastis.

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Anyway the burger here is supposed to be pretty good, as is the burger over at Pete’s down the block, so my buddy had the brilliant idea that we set out to try a few burgers in the area in one night. We ended up hitting three places, because we have massive balls swinging between our legs. Here is the Old Town burger:

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This was easily the best burger of the night. Juicy, nicely cooked, a good amount of cheese. Nice and simple. The only down side was that the fries were a bit under-seasoned, and the bun was a little hard or crumbly after toasting. Stick with the potato bun!

OLD TOWN
45 E. 18th St.
New York, NY 10003

Clarke’s Standard

UPDATE: THIS LOCATION IS NOW CLOSED!

For the third and final stop on our burger crawl, we hit Clarke’s Standard, which is owned by the PJ Clarke’s folks. I assumed we were splitting another burger like at the last two joints of our crawl (Old Town and Pete’s), but my buddy strapped on a pair of elephant balls and said “fuck that shit I’m getting my own burger.” I have to say I was impressed with his resolve. Not one chicken sandwich all night long, and essentially two beers per location for a total of six… with lots of water in between to stay hydrated and to beat back the raw onions. HAHA! It was a good night, out at 4:30pm, home by 10pm.

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This place has a solid little burger, and the fries were hands down the best of the night.

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It’s like fast food in terms of atmosphere, but the quality is much better. Check out this mid-squirt money shot:

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They even have some cool decor of old meat scales.

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The guy who greeted us was Malik – an amazing, funny dude who was talkative and putting everyone in a great mood. He even hooked us up with some ice cream:

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Paulie says "fuck you" to the camera.
Paulie says “fuck you” to the camera.

The only down side here was that Malik said his favorite steak was from Sizzler. My man – I hope you contact me because we need to grab a steak somewhere else together. I bet even sinking your teeth into one at PJ Clarke’s will change your whole outlook on steaks.

Dag’s Patio Cafe

I picked up a Groupon for this joint recently: $16 for two burgers, two fries and two shakes. They were out of shakes, so they gave us beer and wine instead. Not bad!

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So this place stands out as one of the better burgers that I’ve had recently and the reason is because of two things: (1) ratio of bread to meat to toppings, and (2) the potato roll. We tried the applewood bacon cheddar burger with grilled onions, and the Dag burger with lettuce, tomato, onion and American (fuck yeah) cheese. Both were wonderful.

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For point number one, regarding ratios, I implore you to look at the cross-section of the burger. Look at it. Not too much bun. Meat is a decent thickness, but not so thick that you have to unhinge your fucking jaw. Just a couple of basic toppings so you aren’t stacking up shit on top of shit and building a skyscraper.

Applewood bacon burger
Applewood bacon burger
Dag burger with cheese
Dag burger with cheese

As for point number two, the potato roll holds up to intense scrutiny like no other. It is strong, yet soft. It is flavorful and it absorbs juices. It is magical.

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As I was browsing the menu a few other items caught my eye. Typically I will try a Chicago dog before any other hot dog menu item (Chicago beats New York on hot dogs, but New York beats Chicago on pizza). However I was enticed by the Dag dog, so I gave that a try.

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The Dag dog was essentially the same as the bacon, cheddar and grilled onion burger but in dog form. It was nice. Not too sloppy, as a Chicago dog can sometimes be. They also split the dog and griddled it up nice on the flat top.

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The fries were nice too. A thicker style but not quite steak fries. Nicely crisped on the outside and soft inside. A good sized portion too. The overhead pic from above shows the accurate portion size pre-gorging. The pic below was taken after I attacked those shits for a few minutes, dipping them in the Sri Racha ketchup and Tabasco mayo that I masterfully mixed up at their fixin’s bar.

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DAG’S PATIO CAFE
342 E. 47th St.
New York, NY 10017