Tag Archives: cheeseburger

Alfie’s

I stopped into Alfie’s for a late night bite to get my burger fix in. The meat was not seasoned enough, but it was certainly cooked to the proper temperature. It was good and juicy. I just wish they packed on some salt and pepper before slapping this titty-fuck onto the grill. The rosemary herb fries were nicely cooked too, but they needed seasoning and salt as well:

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ALFIE’S
800 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Rosie O’Grady’s Saloon

I popped in here for a quick lunch with a buddy of mine who was in town for a convention. I’d never been here before despite walking by a million times and always being aware of its existence. Perhaps I just assumed it was a standard overpriced midtown tourist trap or something.

So I took down their burger. I had a feeling it was going to be thick, so I didn’t go crazy with toppings: just cheese. I was right. Look at this fat fuck:

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It was nice and tasty, well seasoned… and well… done… I ordered medium but it came back pretty much well done.

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There’s still a slight bit of pink in there, so maybe medium well.

Anyway, the fries were not my preferred style. I like shoestring but these were steak fries.

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The odd thing was that my buddy ordered a chicken sandwich and his came with shoestring fries. Hmm.

Anyway, the burger was still good despite being overcooked, So I may venture back in here for a steak some day, or perhaps the corned beef sandwich.

ROSIE O’GRADY’S
800 7th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Hudson Eatery

I grabbed a local Groupon deal for this joint to try out their burger. It turned out to be a pretty good meal. $30 for two drinks, two entrees, and a shared app.

We started off with some drinks, beer & wine:

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Next came the apps (we ordered an additional). Bacon and onion mac and cheese, followed by chili duck sauce shrimp. Both were tasty, though I didn’t think the $3 up charge for the bacon and onion in the mac was worth it. Also the shrimp came with a thousand island dipping sauce which didn’t mix well with the asian style sauce that was already on them. Other than that the batter and frying were perfect.

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Then the burger came out. I ordered a burger with American cheese, bacon, and jalapeños. My only gripe was that the bun was a little flakey/crusty, but other than that it was well seasoned, they used fresh jalapeños, the bacon was crisp, the cheese was melty and good, and the burger was cooked just right.

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The fries were pretty good too – nicely salted, unlike Thalia from the night before, but with that same natural cut style.

My wife had a salmon sandwich that looked pretty nice as well, topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, and avocado.

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HUDSON EATERY
601 W. 57th St.
New York, NY 10019

Joe’s Sirloin Burger Grill

This new joint on Long Island serves up some pretty damn good grub. And it’s right near my brother’s house, so now there’s a sweet go-to spot for when I visit.

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I had the classic bacon cheeseburger with added jalepenos. This was awesome. My only real gripe is that I wish they used fresh jalapeños instead of pickled pre-sliced ones. No matter though, because it was still jerkworthy:

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I had half of my wife’s gorgonzola burger too. This was great as well, and the cheese did not overwhelm the meat:

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The cool thing is that, like Charly’s, the burgers are packed in clamshells rather than wrapped up in paper. The rigid packaging material prevents burgers from getting all fucked up in the bag if you buy it to go.

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The fries and onion rings were solid too. I liked the onion rings better than the fries, but I attribute that to the fact that they held up better in the bag. We arrived out to LI late, so my brother picked dinner up for us. Even after sitting in the bag for a while the fried items were still pretty crispy. Nice!

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JOE’S SIRLOIN BURGER GRILL
1400 Lakeland Ave
Bohemia, NY 11716

JG Melon

I came in here with my wife and parents on a Sunday morning at 11:40am. The place was already jam packed and it was non-stop even after we left.

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This place is a landmark NYC icon.  A cash-only wonder. A haven for burger aficionados. A pub crawler’s dream.

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Since this place consistently ranks among the top burger places in NYC, I had to try it. My verdict: I think the name has some hype to it, like a Peter Luger steak. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but not THAT good.

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My dad and I had bacon cheeseburgers. Each coming in at $11.50, these fuckers are a bit on the pricey side, especially since they don’t come with fries. I ordered medium, but it came back pretty much well done. I didn’t take a look at my dad’s. Sucks, but it was at least very tasty.

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Great bun – they stick to the potato bun which holds up under intense scrutiny. Bacon was crispy, and cheese was yellow and American, just how I like it.

The fries were little discs. Crisp on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside. I just prefer a tradition stick shape.

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My wife had a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon. Also a hefty price tag at $11+ without fries. It was, however, very good.

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My mom had an omlette – very good portion size, and it came with fries.

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For dessert, my wife and I split the sour cream apple walnut pie, which we noticed while reading over the wall-o-desserts and taking in all the watermelon themed art.

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Delicious. Not too sweet, nice and warm, and a really great way to end a meal on a cold day.

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Cool thing about this place too is that the kitchen is wide open to your viewing, and small/basic as hell:

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JG MELON
1291 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10021

McHales

McHale’s was once known for its great burgers. It recently closed, switched locations (slightly) and re-opened. I’m not sure if the management is the same, or the chef, or any of that. The place is gorgeous inside, very classy and old school-ish. And yet they play UFC fight events in there, which is good for me since I am a fan.

On to the burger.

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At $13 for the McHale’s burger with a slice of american and fries, this baby is near perfect. The only downer was the sesame seed bun that was a bit crumbly and got thin along the bottom once the burger was stacked up. It came with lettuce, onion, tomato and pickle. Photo lighting credit goes to my chicken-sandwich eating friend, who sacrificed half an apartment rental commission to dine with yours truly. That’s a $600 chicken sandwich he had!

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Fries were great too – well seasoned and crispy.

MCHALES
251 W. 51st St.
New York, NY 10019

Black Iron Burger

Chalk another burger joint off the list, assholes!

My wife had a work dinner, so my buddy and I came here to see if this place truly lives up to their motto: nobody beats their meat. Verdict? I can beat my own meat better than they can beat their meat. That’s not to say the burger was bad – just that it could use some improvement.

So this time I am happy to report that my buddy strapped on a pair of balls and decided to actually get a burger instead of salad or a chicken sandwich. He almost went with a turkey burger but decided it wouldn’t be worth it, given the lashing he’d get on this review for doing so. Either way, he gets some shit for it. But he did make up for his vaginal tendencies with three manly beers that came in at high ABV content.

On to the beef. I had the black iron burger, the house signature burger. It has two 4oz burgers, two thick slices of horseradish cheddar, horseradish sauce, and caramelized onions. Solid. I added lettuce, tomato, pickle and jalapeño on top of that little slut to make it taste like warm molasses titty milk. I don’t know what that even means – I just had to publish it.

The bread was a little bit lacking. The top of the bun was a little too hard, and the bun itself seemed to crumble a bit as I got further along into the gorging. The meat itself was fine – good quality shit, and good cheese ratio as well. All in all it was a decent meal, despite having to wait a fuck-ass of a long time for a seat because it was more crowded than a whore house near a military base.

So here’s the pr0n:

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It was too dark for photos, so I had to use the fucking flash, which I hate. Also, we did try some fries and onion rings. Both were okay, but you may be better off grabbing some McDonalds fries from around the corner – same style at about half the price, though this joint does offer some french fry variations like garlic herb and other nonsense (they smelled fantastic at neighboring tables).

BLACK IRON BURGER
245 W 38th St
New York, NY 10018

Ear Inn

My buddy, whose opinion I value when it comes to food, swears by the burger at Ear Inn, and also the atmosphere here. Here he is, giving you all the finger in front of my beer:

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It’s an old timey bar, been around for quite some time. It’s housed in a historic building on the far west end of Spring Street in Soho, and it used to sit on the Hudson, before the landfill was added upon the building of the twin towers.

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The burger here is solid, and hats off to my friend who pointed my appetite toward this joint. The star of the show is a nice 8oz fucker served with a salad and roasted potatoes. Nice – I commented that it tasted like a good steak as I was eating it. All it needs is a potato bun and it’s a winner. Take a look at the food porn below:

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EAR INN
326 Spring St.
New York, NY 10013

Ted’s Montana Grill

I’ve been eyeballing this place for a while since I work nearby. I’ve been here before for some happy hour staples like $5 nachos (big), $5 sliders (4 of them), and $4 beers (Yeungling). Today I was determined to try the burger out.

I started with an order of salt and pepper onion rings.

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These things were excellent – perfectly crispy, no grease, and a really nice horseradish dipping sauce that I ended up using for my fries as well.

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Speaking of which, the fries were nice and golden brown, natural skin-on slices, crispy, and well seasoned.

As for the burger, it was a good size. A little sunder-seasoned, and it had an odd flavor profile to it. At first I thought it was maybe aged, or perhaps they gave me bison instead of beef. But it wasn’t a gamey flavor. Not sure how to describe it other than different. not necessarily BAD; just unexpected, perhaps?

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Anyway – it was nice and patriotic with the flag toothpick. It came with bacon, cheddar, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and raw onion. Check the cut:

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The pic makes it look a little overdone, but it was a proper medium.

Another thing I like about tho splice is the dish of pickles they give at the bar. Half sours, bright green, thick slices, very delicious. I put these on my burger instead of the bread and butters that came on my plate.

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For dessert we did some ice cream and cookies. One cookie was chocolate chip, the other was chocolate chocolate chip. Nice and simple, but good.

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Lastly, here’s a shot of my friend’s vagina meal – grilled chicken with guac on a whole wheat bun. Looks good; just like a wet snatch.

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Anyhow – keep an eye out for a proper steakhouse review of this place, as I plan to come back soon and try their 14oz rib eye, along with a salad and dessert for just $29 (ask for the theater menu). Great fucking deal, if you ask me!

UPDATE – full-on steakhouse review below:

Ted’s Montana Grill overall score: 73

My wife and I came in for the “theater menu” deal: $29 (now $35) for three courses. Not a bad price. Check the verdict below.

Flavor: 6
My first bite of the beef rib eye was a nine, but it went downhill from there. The steak was nicely cooked and all, but the meat was a bit tough, a bit over-salted and wet. When I say wet, I mean there were small puddles of grease on the top of the steak. Also when I say tough, I mean the grain of the meat was tight and a little difficult to chew. While it did have a decent flavor, I had to drop the score because of these things. There was also a good deal of gristle on the cut, and a shitload of bleed-out once I got down on it. If it weren’t for that and the gristle I might have scored this a seven.

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Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
Here, they do not offer a porterhouse, and no cuts large enough for two. there is a filet, a NY strip, a rib eye, and a “steak frites” strip, which they say is a center cut strip. There is only one size of each offering, though to their credit they do offer each as a choice of either beef or bison. If it weren’t for that diversity of choice, I might have dropped this to a five or six. Speaking of choice, I think that’s what they’re rocking here in terms of quality.

Portion Size & Plating: 8
For the price, the portions are pretty good. If I had to guess I’d say my steak was 12-14oz. The soup was a good size, as was the salad and other items for the theater menu pricing. Very fair considering this joint is nestled in the heart of skyrocket rent central.

Price: 8
If you’re not a food snob or a steak expert, this place is perfect for casual dining. The prices are super fair. For six courses and two espressos the bill came to $86 with tax and tip included.

Bar: 9
The bar here is a blast. They have a great happy hour menu with good drink specials and snack food. You can’t people-watch so well into the street, but it is definitely a lively and fun place to go after work. I’d certainly come here for the happy hour often. In fact I’ve done so twice before; good nachos and sliders, excellent onion rings, great free pickle slices, and cheap draft beer. If you never come here for steak, that’d be fine, as long as you stop in once for the happy hour. Grab a pint and some sliders or nachos and you will be satisfied. In fact, that is my firm recommendation to anyone thinking of coming here: stick to the bar.

Specials and Other Meats: 7
There’s really just chicken and ribs, aside from the bison and beef. And there are no specials, as the menu is pretty much more like an elevated and refined Outback or Fridays type of deal.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6
My salad was really basic: romaine, croutons and dressing. Not much else to say about it.

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The New England clam chowder was nice and thick, and quite flavorful. Almost kind of like a sauce… which got me thinking… New England Clam Chowder Spaghetti… Look out for a recipe one of these days…

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Desserts were pretty basic, and in retrospect I think the “adult shakes” are probably the most appealing thing in the dessert department.

I had a fudge brownie sundae (one of two options on the theater menu). The brownie was a little hard but the ice cream was good (because it is made by Haagen Dazs).

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My wife had the cheesecake. Pretty good actually, except for the berry sauce on it that had a sort of processed, “from a squeeze bottle” kind of flavor to it.

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Seafood Selection: 6
There’s a cedar plank salmon on the theater menu, which looked nice, but my wife went with the crab cakes. These were actually really nice. A little crisp texture on the outside, good quality lump crab meat, and the addition of guacamole made for a really refreshing bite. They also offer trout and a catch of the day, but no shellfish, raw items or anything like that.

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Service: 8
Service was fine. It did feel a little rushed, like our guy wanted to take our plates early with each course. Also the hot sauce was snatched from our table without asking if we were still using it. Bummer, because I was using it with my fries.

Ambiance: 8
I actually like the feel of this place. It’s warm and inviting, there is always a decent crowd of people having a good time, and the walls have bison heads on them. Love it.

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TED’S MONTANA GRILL
110 W. 51st St.
New York, NY 10020

TJ’s Hero Shop

This little place makes some really great sang-witches. One day my wife and I went over there and picked up five different selections and brought them over to my parents so we could all try.

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We tried the Louisiana Lightning (grilled cajun chicken with lettuce, tomato, onion and spicy stealth sauce), the Reuben (my favorite of them all), the Stealth (roast pork with lettuce tomato onion and stealth sauce), the Philly Cheesesteak, and the Big Steer (essentially a cheeseburger sandwich). All were excellent, but the Reuben really stole the show, with the Big Steer and Louisiana Lightning coming in close behind. Perhaps the Super Steak would have been the better choice than the regular Philly, as it comes on toasted garlic bread!

Louisiana Lightning:

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Philly Cheesesteak:

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Reuben:

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Big Steer:

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Stealth:

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TJ’S HERO SHOP
524 Mastic Rd.
Mastic Beach, NY 11951