Tag Archives: potato

Zapp’s Chips

God damn these are some fucking great kettle cooked potato chips. I always like to try regional or local snacks whenever we travel. I was eyeballing these fuckers from the moment we landed in New Orleans.

We tried three flavors: Spicy Cajun Crawtaters, Voodoo, and Hotter N’ Hot Jalapeño. Our favorite was the Crawtators.

They had a good level of spice without getting overly aggressive. The Voodoo flavor was pungent and interesting. Good to dabble into as well. The jalapeño chips were good too, just not as unique as the other two flavors.

Top 5 Potato Sides at NYC Steakhouses

A little break from steak
to give you my take
on the best joints that make
taters: fried, mashed or baked.

Actually I’m going to nix mashed. You see, my mom makes the ultimate mashed potatoes. Insanely creamy and smooth, buttery, and riddled with melted mozzarella. Nothing I’ve ever had in the mashed potato realm even comes remotely close to that shit.

But I do have five favorite potato dishes from steak joints to share with you. These aren’t in any particular order, so don’t go reading into shit.

Boucherie’s French Fries

These fucking things are simply perfect. They’re hands down the best French fries I’ve ever had. There’s some sort of crispy and mildly spicy batter on the outside that gives them an extra crunch, while retaining a soft and smooth inside. Amazing.

Le Rivage’s Potatoes Au Gratin

Okay this isn’t a steak joint, but since Chef Paul is basically extended family to Pat LaFrieda, the meats you get here are immaculate (especially the French Onion Soup Burger). As such this is an honorary steak joint in my eyes. The potatoes? Insanity. I’ve had a lot of great gratins in my day, but this shit is next level. Go get it.

Apologies for the buffoonery in this photo. I didn’t get a shot of the taters myself, but my friend Mike from Gotham Burger Social Club managed to capture them in the foreground of this photo a little bit before we ruined it.

WAIT! Found one. Thanks Chef Paul!

Michael Jordan’s Hasselback Potatoes

This baby is not advertised on the regular menu, so you have to ask for it. It’s pre-sliced, fried, baked, covered with melted cheese, topped with sour cream, bacon, chives… I mean… It’s like a roid-raging unicorn baked potato streaking through the quad while on acid and cocaine at the same time. It’s fucking awesome.

Keen’s Prime Rib Hash Browns

This is one of the biggest portions of potato and meat you can get. The meat is their amazing prime rib, chopped up and worked into a hash brown that will leave you craving more every day of your life. They’re only offered on the brunch or bar menu, but if you ask nicely the waitresses/waiters will hook you up in the main dining room.

Pro Tip: order a few of these to take home with you and throw in the freezer. They heat up nice for future indulging.

“Rocco’s Fries”

I’m a sucker for a good potato chip. Sometimes I will even hand cut potatoes to about 3mm thick and roast in the oven with herbs, spices and oils to make a thick chip at home, but very rarely do I see anything similar at a restaurant. Rocco’s comes pretty damn close to it, and I really have to sing their praises for being so bold as to put something as simple and delicious as potato chips on their menu. These are their “Rocco’s Fries:”

I even used them as a vehicle for eating their creamless creamed spinach, which was excellent (top five creamed spinach post coming soon, no doubt).

That about does it. Starch it up, you fuckers!

Breakfast Fried Rice

My wife and I dreamed up this incredible concoction about a week ago. Last night we finally gave it a shot. It’s a pretty straight forward recipe, so no real instructional videos or any other complicated bullshit to show you.


What The Fuck Do You Need?

  • Pre-cooked bacon (it’s just easier)
  • Eggs
  • Ham steak
  • Frozen breakfast sausage
  • Frozen spinach
  • Jalapeño pepper
  • Chives
  • Onion
  • Garlic
  • Shredded cheese
  • Potato
  • Crispy fried shallots
  • Leftover rice from the fridge
  • Butter
  • Olive oil

How The Fuck Do You Make It?

The first thing you’ll want to do is some basic prep. Dice up your ham steak, potato, onion and jalapeño. Mince your garlic, and slice your chives, bacon and sausage. These will be more like “toppings” for your rice, so as not to moisten the rice while cooking together.


Fry some shit off in olive oil and butter. I did the potato, pepper, onion and garlic together to form a hash, and then I put it aside in a bowl lined with paper towels to get rid of some of the grease and excess moisture.


Since we used frozen spinach (you can use fresh), we threw that in a pan by itself to dry it out and remove all the excess water.


We gave a little fry to the bacon and sausage too. Here are some of the components before adding to the rice:


Grab your rice and throw it into a hot buttery wok or pan.


Once its all hot, you can mix in your scrambled egg, which you should first cook in a separate pan:


Once you get some snap, crackle and pop going, and some crispy browned rice forming at the bottom of the pan/wok, you can lower the heat and fry off the other egg separately for the top of the rice:


Fill a bowl with rice and start to assemble your dish by adding the toppings. Don’t forget the cheese!


Here’s a jerkworthy shot of the finished product:


Dive in and eat. I like to mix it all around, break the yolk, fold the spinach in, etc. Then I get a little bit of everything in each bite.

The Steak Cake

No: this is not a real steak. Yes: this is cake.

I have the pleasure of being married to a baker. She goes by the name “The Cake Dealer.” When I first started this blog, she was pretty well into her baking hobby. She was asking me what kind of cake I wanted and I suggested a cake that looks like a steak. It’s only fitting, right?

Well this is what she came up with. A perfectly grilled medium rare porterhouse with a side of mashed potatoes and string beans. Unbelievable.

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The mashed potatoes are made from mashed up vanilla cake mixed with vanilla frosting, and topped with a slightly melted-looking yellow square of fondant as the butter:

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The green beans are shaped from green fondant:

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When I said medium rare inside I wasn’t fucking kidding. It’s strawberry cake, nice and pink all the way through, but it still maintains nice grill marks on top with a healthy sear (brown fondant with lines made from food coloring):

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The details are where this piece really shines though. That t-bone is absolute perfection. It looks like it is REAL and glistening. Made from fondant as well. And on top there is black and white sugar to look like kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper.

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Not only did it LOOK amazing, but it TASTED amazing too. The fondant was made from marshmallows, so it didn’t have that grainy, chalky texture that is always disgustingly sweet. The cake was soft, light and moist. Man, I fucking love my wife.

To see more of her amazing creations, like her cake that looks like a burger, fries, and a shake (below), go to HER WEBSITE.