Tag Archives: tads

Tad’s Steakhouse (for real)

Tad’s Steakhouse (W. 50th Street) overall score: 35

NOTE: THIS PLACE WILL BE CLOSED AS OF JANUARY 2020

Now that I successfully fucked up your whole shit with an incredible April Fools Day joke, here is the REAL review of Tad’s. I apologize in advance for vulgarity, and for the fact that there is no official Tad’s website for me to provide you. Quality!
SIGNAGE FIXED
Flavor: 5
Surprisingly enough, the steak DID have flavor. I was baffled by this, as the steak was slapped onto the grill with absolutely no seasoning whatsoever. I guess the grill itself imparted some leftover flavors from whatever else was on it before. I had the “cowboy,” which was a thin slice of ribeye, somehwere between 1/4 inch thick and 3/8 inches thick. It had veins of gristle throughout, some flecks of bone fragment, but overall I was able to eat about 70% of it. My buddy had the strip, which was similar in thickness, flavor, and edibility, though his was a little under cooked from the medium that we both ordered (yes – they actually do ask how you want it cooked).
STEAK FIXED

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 5

The quality here is choice at best, and I am suspect that it is even choice to begin with – but let’s say for argument’s sake that is IS choice. Good. Now, I don’t mind that when it is done right. Here, they simply grill over an open flame, so not too much that can go wrong other than quality and seasoning issues. The cuts are very thin, with lots of fat/gristle. I was happy to see that the bones were generally left in, which imparts a bit more flavor, but at this point we are talking about a difference between dog shit and cat shit. So why split hairs? They do have what they call strip or sirloin, a cowboy (rib steak), something that attempts to pass muster as a filet or tenderloin, as well as a t-bone.

GRILL FIXED

Portion Size & Plating: 5

The plating is dinner style, meaning you get your sides and veggies right there included with your meal, slapped on the plate like a soggy old tit flapping in the wind against a bony chest. I suppose if you were to eat everything on your plate, regardless of how horrific it is, you will be full. Your body might punish you later though. They do offer several different sizes for the various steaks, so it all depends on how sick you want to get.

Price: 5

I can think of better ways to spend $10 for lunch, but you do get a lot of shit (nearly literal) for your money. The $10 gets you a steak, potato or rice side, and a salad. It is actually supposed to be $8.25, but we were charged 80 cents for sauteed onions without our knowledge – classic upcharge move! They asked if we wanted them, as if it were part of the whole gravy, butter and au jus topping selection. But it was not. It was 80 extra cents for a pile of onions I didn’t touch other than to taste one or two slivers.
BILL FIXED
Bar: 1
There is no bar, but they did sell beer in the fridge, so I left a point on the board for that.

Specials and Other Meats: 5

Tad’s has variety! You can mix and match a lot of stuff to make your meal into a special, and they have numbered meal selections like a Chinese restaurant to boot. For other meats they have ribs, roasted chicken, and pork chops.
SPECIALS FIXED
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 1
We started with the standard side salad, which was crisp, cold, and topped with horrible dressing. Then we moved on to our potatoes. The mashed were out of a box/powdered. Horrible. My buddy went with a baked potato – that was the smart choice. The sauteed onions were terrible too; soggy and grease-laden, with an odd, translucent, glistening, pinkish-red hue to them. Needless to say we skipped dessert.

Seafood Selection: 1

No seafood on the menu, other than fried shrimp. One point! And that’s that.

Service: 6

The guy at the grill was nice, but he completely forgot that my buddy and I ordered two different pieces of meat. When I alerted him to this as he was plating up our sides, he insisted that both meats were the same. They weren’t – I know. Anyway, my buddy and I had to swap steaks at our seat. This section would be a bust if not for the wonderful lady who told us to leave our trays at the end of the meal and she would clean up the table for us. Solid!
TRAYS FIXED
Ambiance: 1
This place is hot inside, and similar to a McDonalds or Sizzler. Obviously you need to know what you are getting into before you dine at this kind of establishment, preferably while shit-bag wasted to the point of delerium. That might actually be kinda fun.

TAD’S STEAKS
761 7th Ave.
New York, NY 10019

Tad’s Steakhouse

Tad’s Steakhouse (W. 50th Street) overall score: 100

Flavor: 10
Unbelievable. This place is off the charts amazing. I can’t believe I have walked past this gem so many times in my life and never worked up the balls to walk in. Holy shit. Perfectly cooked, juicy, savory. Man. I am at a loss for words. I went with a cowboy steak (ribeye) and my buddy had the strip. Both were exceptional.
steakk

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 10

They’ve got everything at Tad’s. Strip, filet, t-bones, and ribeyes. They even have some other cuts for those of you who aren’t so traditional. On top of that, they have chicken, lamb, veal, braised meats, and pork chops as well.

quality

Portion Size & Plating: 10

The plating is dinner style, meaning you get your sides and veggies right there included with your meal. But it is elegant as FUCK; roasted garlic on the side, still in its paper… sprigs of charred rosemary… bone marrow with a little fork to pull out the fatty goodness inside… AND the portions are massive. I was so fucking full after eating.

Price: 10

This place is well worth the money. A total steal. Under $10 for a killer steak and all the sides included? YES! MORE PLEASE!
Bar: 10
The bar here is amazing. Packed with smoking hot chicks, cheap drinks, barely dressed juggy bartenders, and awesome music (but not too loud). I’d hang out here any day, and all my single buddies should definitely go and scope out the talent that sits around at the bar just waiting to be fucked silly. And ladies – there were some chiseled up guys there too. Think Calvin Klein models. Adam Levine was even there guest bartending, topless, with the Penthouse-magazine-worthy shotgirls.
women-at-bar

Specials and Other Meats: 10

Tad’s has an incredible array of specials you can order. Fois gras topped roasted slab bacon! The wagyu ribeye looked amazing but it was just a little out of my budget.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
We started with the standard plate of oysters, which were crisp, cold, and delicious. Then we moved on to the crab cakes and truffled creamed spinach. Everything was incredible. I wanted to try more stuff! We skipped dessert because we were just so full from the massive portion size, and the fact that every bit of food was mopped up and shoved into our gullets. But the desserts looked really high quality. Cherry infused coconut foam on top of freshly made cardamom and vanilla bean ice cream? Holy fuck – I need to go back and make sure I save room!
IMG_20121007_132402

Seafood Selection: 10

I didn’t even bother to try the seafood (other than the oysters) because the beef was so fucking delicious… but how can you go wrong with $1 freshly shucked oysters, 50 cent clams, and $3 lobster tails? Fucking MINT.

Service: 10

The service is impeccable. Top notch, white glove treatment in this joint. They even let you select your beef from behind the glass. Servers and waiters were very attentive without being overbearing. They were fun, well dressed and presentable. Really fantastic.
ambiance or service
Ambiance: 10
This place is classy and comfortable. The decor is modern but traditional, clean, and manly. Totally cool. Get to this place ASAP. You won’t regret it!

TAD’S STEAKS
761 7th Ave.
New York, NY 10019