All posts by Johnny Prime

Hurricane Hole

This is a joint product/service and restaurant review. My buddies and I booked a small charter fishing trip off of Key West. For four hours it cost about $800 all-in (with tip and everything). While this is super expensive, it is worth every penny if you happen to be able to keep and eat everything that you catch.

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We started off catching all the bait we would use on the trip. Captain Brad threw out his net and picked up minnows and shiners. Then we went out about five miles for some yellow fin snapper and yellow jackets. One of my buddies even got a mackerel at this spot. I had a shark hooked at one point, but the fucker bit through the line and took my bait.

After a bit, we went to a second location off the shore where we picked up some bonita and tuna.

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Over all we had a really successful day. I caught the most fish, while my buddy got the biggest (a 15lb tuna).

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Captain Brad filleted about half of our catch, which came out to roughly 14lbs.

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That’s a lot of fish! We could have packed it on ice and shipped it home, but we figured we may as well gorge on it and give the rest for chum and whoever else wanted the meat. We probably caught over $1000 worth of fish.

The restaurant at the dock will cook up all your food for $12 per person, and you get sides to go with it. We fed our whole gang of eight people with tons to spare.

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They did some fried snapper, tuna tataki, blackened tuna and buffalo mackerel. Everything was really good.

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The conch fritters here were pretty good too, which we ordered in addition to the fish feast.

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Clemente’s Trolley Pizzeria

Nope. This was just a big failure. We likened it to Boboli. We were better off hitting Denny’s for our late night NYE food binge. The setting was cool enough, with a re-purposed trolley car as the kitchen, and large, old, wooden cable spools as tables.

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There were even some “free range” chickens to play with.

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But the “brick oven” pizza itself was small, over-priced ($20 for a small pie is retarded) and rubbery. Skip this place. There are better Duval Street pizza joints nearby.

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Louie’s Backyard

We decided to take in the water view for a quick lunch here at Louie’s Backyard in Key West. I went with a burger, which, here, is topped with provolone cheese, caramelized onions, roasted poblano peppers and sri racha aioli.

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I didn’t get much heat from the aioli or peppers. The burger patty itself was nice, though cooked a little too much in my opinion. The steak fries were pretty good. I usually don’t like these, but they were very crispy.

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My wife had this really interesting smoked salmon and egg brik turnover. The outer shell was light and crisp, and inside was a runny egg yolk and perfectly cooked salmon.

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My buddy went with this really great duck confit dish. Super tender.

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Definitely give this place a try if you’re in Key West. The bar outside is nice too, even if you don’t sit to eat.

Beach Bunnies

Right on A1A in Las Olas sits this ocean-side burger and two-for-one giant margarita joint.

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The burger was apparently voted “best in Ft. Lauderdale,” but I’m hoping there are better options out there.

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The burger was good and juicy, but lacked seasoning on the patty itself. It could benefit from more cheese too, perhaps.

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Fries are sold separately, and you can cheese either seasoned curly fries, or sweet potato waffle fries.

The chicken tacos were pretty decent, despite the cheese being your standard bagged/shredded style.

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Amigos Tortilla Bar

This Key West spot is home to some of the best tacos I’ve ever had. For just $12 you get a platter of three tacos (choose hard shell, round soft flour or square soft corn) with sides of rice and beans.

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I went with carnitas (spiced pork meat), baja fried fish and shrimp. The carnitas was a bit salty, but it was packed with juicy flavor.

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The seafood tacos are topped with a really nice fresh cheese, as you can see on this shrimp taco:

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But by far the best taco of the three was this baja fried fish taco. The golden crisp on the outside of the fish was light and crunchy – not bready at all. So fresh and delicious.

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The rice and beans are standard issue – tasty.

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My wife ordered this baja fried fish bowl, which is an amazing deal for just $9.

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The place also serves up some killer nachos and roasted corn. You MUST try the roasted corn, even if it is the only thing you end up trying here. Fucking absurdly good.

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They also have a ton of fun hot sauces to light your ass up, and great strawberry margaritas.

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Square One

For our first meal in Key West, we hit up Square One. The place had a really nice drink menu and food selections, so I figured it was a perfect spot to try.

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The decor is minimalist rustic, if that makes any sense.

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It looks like pig wings have made their way down to Florida. The ones here were a healthy size and tasted really great. They were breaded lightly and fried crisp. The meat was super tender.

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These duck dumplings were a very nice Chinese inspired appetizer as well. The flavors were robust.

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My wife had this nice bowl of mussels, which were actually an appetizer portion but probably big enough for an entree if you are indulging in a few starters.

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The snapper was all gone, but they had some local grouper. It came seared, and served atop some nice soba noodles.

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A couple of days later my wife and I went back to try their flight of bloody mary drinks at breakfast.

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From right to left that’s tomatillo and melon, carrot habanero, yellow tomato and regular tomato. Each was rimmed with a different type of salt to accentuate the flavors within. Really nice.

I had a lobster cobb salad to go with the bloodies. Lots of good quality lobster meat!

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If you’re ever in Key West, I highly recommend this place. It’s great for drinks at the bar or any meal of the day. If native New Yorker Lucas is tending bar, you’ll have a great experience.

Prime Steakhouse

Prime Steakhouse overall score: 68

My wife and I, along with three other couples, came here for a blowout steak meal while we were on vacation in Key West. I didn’t have high expectations since NYC is the steak capital of the world, but everything looked pretty good online in terms of menu and reviews. Check out the breakdown:

Flavor: 6
I had the 24oz bone-in rib eye. The chop itself was prime quality, but not aged. It was slightly thicker on the bone side than the fat cap side, which made me worry about the evenness of cooking.

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To my surprise it was cooked nicely to medium rare, despite the cut.

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It lacked ample seasoning, however, and, the outer crust had a spotty or uneven sear on it. Some parts were lightly seared, and other parts were over seared, which created a bitter, burnt flavor in some bites.

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
The menu here covers all the bases with a strip, porterhouse, filet and rib eye. They offer a surf and turf option as well, but overall our table was not quite impressed with the quality. Perhaps some aging is needed to take these chops up a few notches.

Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portions are good here, with everything being a good size, and plating is basic but elegant.

Price: 6
At $62 for a rib eye I should be getting something that rivals NYC’s best. That was not the case. Most of the other items on the menu were NYC prices as well, so we left feeling a little over-spent.

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Bar: 5
For this location, which is on the water and on the second floor of a pier, I was expecting a big bar that was either outside or facing the water. But instead it was a somewhat small bar that faces a wall. The drinks were pretty good, and the cocktail menu had some interesting selections, but drinks are a bit on the pricey side.

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Specials and Other Meats: 7
There wasn’t anything of note on special aside from a pasta dish, but the place does offer a decent amount of alternative meats, like two cuts of pork, veal and chicken. No lamb, but that’s not a huge deal. My buddy’s wife ordered the veal:

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Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6
We over-ordered on sides, which is often a problem when dining with a big group at a steak joint. There were some hits and some misses. I’ll start with the biggest hit – the carpaccio:

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Though a bit salty, the hit of truffle oil complimented the capers and shaved cheese nicely. The meat itself was super thin and soft.

The oysters were crisp, clean and fresh, and extremely well priced at $16 for a dozen.

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Another starter was this mozzarella and tomato stack with balsamic vinaigrette and basil. Decent, but nothing special.

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On the side, we enjoyed the hash brown potatoes. They were fried crisp on the outside and tender on the inside.

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The creamed spinach was way too heavy on the cream while also being very light on flavor.

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The truffle mac and smoked gouda had utterly no flavor or scent of truffle whatsoever, and it also lacked seasoning. It had a decent crunch on top at least.

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Dessert was a star though, which was key lime pie that is made in house from fresh, local ingredients. Great way to end the meal.

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Seafood Selection: 8
There’s a good amount to choose from here for seafood, as you might expect being in Key West. I mentioned the oysters above already, but my wife had the tuna tataki appetizer as her entree, which was pretty good.

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She also had a she-crab soup, which had a nice flavor to it as well. Prime also has a few local fish and fresh catch items available for entrees in addition.

Service: 9
Chance was a great waiter, and we had no complaints on timing or anything like that. It was a big table, and he did a solid job tending to our needs. Bread was a bit lame, but the butter was a whipped sweet/honey style that I do enjoy from time to time.

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Ambiance: 6
Perhaps this place is a bit nicer to dine in during the daytime, when you can see out over the water or hang out on the deck outside the restaurant. I just felt like this place could be anywhere, and being in Key West Florida, on the fucking water, they could have made more of the surroundings.

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Key West

I just posted a shitload of reviews for various restaurants we tried in Key West, but this page is more about the bars and other fun stuff you can find there.

Hog’s Breath: This is a great dive bar with live music and their own proprietary brew. Located in “old town” it truly has a pirate, old timey feel. A definite must-see place if you’re in Key West.

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Sloppy Joe’s: this is where we watched the ball drop on NYE.

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Captain Tony’s: a very old structure that’s been the home of Sloppy Joe’s in the past.

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Margaritaville: the original location of Jimmy Buffett’s lost shaker of salt, where you will find yourself “wasting away again” with a nice frozen margarita…

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Chocolate dipped Key Lime Pie on a stick: Try one – excellent! Some are not as good as others, but this “Kermit” one is fantastic.

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Willy T’s: This place has money all over the walls for some strange reason, and great live music.

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Rick’s: A great upstairs bar that’s set up like a mini village or boardwalk of various watering holes. Tons of fun.

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Irish Kevin’s: A good Irish bar with live music. Our friend Kevin, who is Irish, was legit in this place.

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Conch Shack: Why not? There are many good seafood shacks in town. We didn’t get a chance to try this one, otherwise I would have written a full review of it.

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Unnamed Daiquiri Shack Places: Drink while walking. Do it – they make fresh shit at a lot of these places, and have some local beers as well. Take a look at this bottle of Key West Sunset Ale that I didn’t try for some stupid reason:

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The Walgreens Theater: An old theater on Duval Street was converted into a Walgreens. Pretty neat.

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Tropic Cinema: There’s an actual movie theater on Eaton Street with a statue of Marilyn Monroe blowing her skirt up. Worth a stroll-by.

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Ripley’s Believe It Or Not: A fun diversion from alcohol for an hour.

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Southernmost Point: Here, you are 90 miles from Cuba. Take a pic with all the tourists who wait on line to get a shot.

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The Smallest Bar in Key West: Very small. Drink a pull and move along down Duval Street.

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Key West Cemetery: Go during the day, unless you plan to break in and raise the dead at night. I jogged through on a morning run, and then snapped a few photos at night as we walked by.

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Chickens and Roosters: These guys are everywhere in Key West, running all over the place unfettered and unchecked. I guess you can call them “free range.”

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Leather Master: Bring out the gimp!

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Butterfly House: This is a great place to bring a broad. It’s a greenhouse filled with butterflies, birds and even a flamingo or two (which I suppose are also birds).

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Garden of Eden: On the top floor of The Bull bar on Duval, there’s a weird nudist colony of sorts. Go ahead up if you like seeing weird flapjack titties and flaccid dongs.

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Art Galleries: Like Lahaina in Hawaii, Duval Street in Key West is full of cool art studios, photo galleries and stores. We liked some of the octopus sculptures and steampunk skulls.

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Tree Stump Octopus: I can not remember exactly where this is, but it MAY be Catherine Street.

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Sarabeth’s

We visited the Key West location of this joint for brunch and liked it a lot. I had a poached salmon cobb salad with a side of duck bacon.

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The salad was on point – salmon was perfectly cooked, and all the components came together nicely. The duck bacon tasted a lot like turkey bacon, and it had a similar texture as well.

The Malt House

I came to this cool village joint for a press dinner.

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The interior is like an old world tavern, with lots of exposed brick, warm tones and wood beams on the ceiling.

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The beer selection is really great, both on tap and in bottles/cans.

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Chef Armando cut his teeth at STK and Five Napkin Burger before taking on the executive chef role at both this Malt House location and the newly opened, massive Financial District location.

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The bar room is really well apportioned, with an L-shaped stretch that also has some tabletop seating nearby. At happy hour they offer nice food selections and cheap drink options, along with dollar oysters! There’s also a full menu at the bar for the other eats, and they offer flights of beer (four for $10), American whiskey and Scotch whisky.

Here’s what we had on our press tasting:

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All the apps came out on a big platter, with the exception of the mussels, of course:

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The onion rings had a nice bacon flavor to them. They were fluffy without being too bready, and the onion inside was cooked through.

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The baked, fried and grilled wings were excellent – the best of the “fried stuff,” for sure. They had a mild buffalo spiced roquefort sauce on them, but that didn’t take away any of the crisp to the skin.

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One of the more unique items on the menu is the fried cheese curds. You just don’t see them all that much around here. They were like small bite-sized bits of “cheese sticks,” only less melty and more airy and bready.

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The fried pickles were crispy as hell! They were sliced paper thin first, and then battered and fried. These went nicely with the homemade ranch sauce.

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The ranch sauce, by the way, was the best of the three sauces we had (the other two: a house sauce that was similar to thousand island, and a chipotle mayo).

The star of the openers, however, was the crock of mussels that were steamed in a sauce made from roasted tomatoes, chorizo, garlic, herbs (rosemary, for one) and white wine. Delicious.

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Chef Armando hits back to back home runs with the burger and the mahi mahi tacos when it comes to the entrees.

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The burger is a blend of short rib, chuck and brisket that makes for a tender, juicy and superbly flavorful patty of beef. Topped with onion marmalade, pickles, bacon, lettuce, red onion and cheese, you really can’t go wrong.

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The fries on the side, however, were a little bit lacking in comparison to the incredible burger. Not as crispy as I like, and a little heavy on the grease flavor. The truffle fries had a better crisp to them, but I didn’t get much of the truffle flavor, and they were cut a little thicker than I like for French fries.

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The tacos are super refreshing, with really nicely cooked fish and fresh ingredients. I’d definitely go back for these.

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We seriously tasted an astonishing amount of food on this press event. Next was the open-faced strip steak sandwich on a French baguette, topped with melty gruyere, red onion and arugula.

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The steak was pre-sliced but thick, making it good for the open-faced, knife-and-fork format.

The lobster mac and cheese was topped with a generous portion of lobster claw and tail meat, and it had the flavor of truffle oil to bring some earthiness into the dish.

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We even tried a salad with grilled chicken. Pretty good. It was nicely dressed and the chicken breast was perfectly cooked.

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For dessert, we sampled both the creme brûlée and the chocolate cake. My favorite between the two was the creme brûlée. It was smooth and creamy, nice and evenly textured.

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The chocolate cake was served warm, with a scoop of house made vanilla on the side.

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The cake was slightly dry, but the ice cream was a good way balance that: eat some ice cream with each bite of cake, and problem solved.

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But what can I say: The Cake Dealer really spoils me when it comes to cake and bake.

To sum up: I’ll definitely be back here for some drinks, burgers and tacos. Great shit. Awesome US craft beer selection (like Bourbon County) that rotates out often, and excellent burgers. Most likely I will come for happy hour and indulge in some dollar oysters too.

THE MALT HOUSE
206 Thompson St.
New York, NY 10012