Le District is a pretty cool French food hall type of joint down in Battery Park City, beneath Hudson Eats. The place is broken down by what they sell in each area, such as cheeses, meats, crepes, etc. Check it out:
All posts by Johnny Prime
Hudson Eats
Hudson Eats is a food hall down in Battery Park City. There’s a bunch of good shit here to try. I’m glad to see more stuff like this popping up around the city.
Blue Ribbon Sushi:
Blue Bottle Coffee:
Little Muenster – a grilled cheese shop:
Northern Tiger Chinese food:
Mighty Quinn’s BBQ joint. I reviewed their main location HERE.
Num Pang – great asian sandwich shop. Check out my review HERE.
Oh and by the way – really nice view from the seating area:
Salad joint for pussies:
Dos Toros:
Dig Inn:
Skinny Pizza – likely for pussies:
(Titty) Sprinkles bakery:
Olive’s:
There’s Black Seed Bagels, which is all the rage right now (see my separate review):
And there’s also an Umami Burger outpost (see my separate review):
Another note about this place: they just opened up a fancy French food hall on the lower level, called Le District. See my write up of that place HERE.
Black Seed Bagels
I don’t understand the infatuation with Black Seed Bagels. They’re small, incredibly overpriced, and taste no better than any other good bagel shop in Manhattan. This satellite location at Hudson Eats was understaffed. It took way too long for my bagel to come out, because there was only one person making orders (and there were only two people ahead of me on line when I walked up).
Complaints aside, I did like my bagel. I ordered an everything bagel toasted with cream cheese, salmon, tomato, red onion and capers. The bagel wasn’t very toasted and came to me kind of cold. Not the worst sin (I like my salmon and cream cheese to be cold), but a toasty bagel would have been titties.
BLACK SEED BAGELS
Brookfield Place
200 Vesey St.
New York, NY 10080
Square Diner
One of my all time favorite diners to eat at is down in Tribeca. The place is small, and they keep their prices fucking LOW. It’s a low key little joint where you almost feel like you’ve stepped into suburbia, if not for the occasional celebrity dining across from you in sunglasses with a newspaper in front of their face. I always went for standard diner fare here, like eggs, pancakes, burgers, fries, and shakes. Never disappointed for what it is.
I went to law school around the block from this little hole in the wall, and my first impression upon seeing it and walking in was that it was going to suck. It’s just a skinny, narrow little one story building with old school signage. But I have to say – this diner is one of the best I’ve ever been to in my life. The food is CHEAP too, but very good. Prime example is the burger. For under $10 you can get a burger deluxe with fries and a drink, and it’s good shit. The interior is close quarters: there’s a bar seating area and a dozen or so tables that stretch back into a narrowing corner. The fun part is that on occasion you will see some famous actors who live nearby eating there or grabbing coffee. This place is definitely worth a try, at the very least for the nostalgia and cheap-eats aspect. You will feel like you are out of town for sure.
SQUARE DINER
33 Leonard St.
New York, NY 10013
Taco House
Nothing to brag about here. This is one of those wham-bam thank you ma’am type of Mexican food joints run by Asians. Pretty much everything is under $2. It will fill you up, but make sure you’re close to a toilet bowl after about 30 minutes, just to be safe. This stuff got me through law school, so I can’t knock it too much. I always went for the bean burritos and the guacamole with grilled chicken, because the regular tacos were just too fucking greasy. Shit you pay, shits you get.
TACO HOUSE
178 Church St.
New York, NY 10013
Pakistan Tea House
NOTE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED
One of my late night food fix spots, this place serves up great food for a low price. I get the Makhani chicken with spinach and chic peas over rice. Always satisfies, and the fresh made bread in the tandoori oven is amazing. Always tons of cabs out front = you know it is good.
PAKISTAN TEA HOUSE
176 Church St.
New York, NY 10013
Umami Burger
My wife and I took a stroll through Hudson Eats and took down one of these burgers. I gotta say; it WAS pretty good. We had the manly burger and an order of truffled up fries. Very nice, though with a Six Point Sweet Action the total came to about $28. I can totally get behind the big hype on this joint though. Truffle burger might have to be next!
On a second visit to this location, I lost a little of the oomph for this place. My wife and I ordered a sunny side burger (with the egg on top), a truffle burger (sorely in need of a crunch element), and the Korean fries (big let down).
The sunny side burger was pretty great, mostly because the softness of the bun and burger were broken up by a parmesan chip and some arugula. However, the meat was well done – very overcooked.
The truffle burger was delicious, with truffle cheese and all that oniony goodness. It was cooked to about medium well, which is okay for me but not ideal. The meat tasted overworked (very uniform and springy), a little greasy, and like it was not fresh/formerly frozen. I’ve had better burgers at diners. Worst thing about this was that it was in dire need of a crunch element. No lettuce? Come on, people…
The Korean fries sucked. They were sweet potato fries with some kimchi on them. Soggy too – no crispy crunch whatsoever.
The onion rings, however, were pretty good. They were very fluffy with an almost dough batter fried around them. Pretty fun and quite filling in the tummy.
I went back to the location in Williamsburg recently for an 8-burger tasting, and I have to say this place is back on the up. While our meal was free due to it being a press event, the quality of all the burgers we tried was top notch. They still need to work lettuce or crunch elements into their burgers, but overall it was a big success.
UMAMI BURGER – HUDSON EATS
Brookfield Place
225 Liberty St
New York, NY 10281
UMAMI BURGER – WILLIAMSBURG
158 N 4th St
Brooklyn, NY 11211
The 10 Manliest Steakhouses in America
If you’re like me and you revel in the fact that you have a big hairy sack of balls swinging between your legs, then you might be interested to know about some of the most manly places to sink your teeth into a chunk of beef. Here’s a list of places that I think would be perfect for your next steak night dinner, in no particular order, and based on personal experience or intense research:
1) Keen’s Steakhouse: Talk about manly. This place used to be men only, until some badass, take-no-bullshit broad waltzed in and started a revolution. But aside from the old time “men only” atmosphere, this place also rocks some manly taxidermy of game that was actually hunted by Teddy Roosevelt himself. The walls are filled with history, in fact. There’s even a playbill on the wall from the night Lincoln was assassinated.
72 West 36th Street, New York, NY 10018
2) Cattleman’s Steakhouse: Everything is big in Texas, as the saying goes. This place lives up to that old adage, because several of the menu items are advertised on the menu in POUNDS instead of girly ounces. The place sits on a sprawling ranch with tons of cool shit all around you, including nice scenery.
3450 S Fabens Carlsbad Rd, Fabens, TX 79838
3) George Martin’s Strip Steak: If you’re on your way out to the North Fork wineries, Fire Island, Montauk or the Hamptons for a weekend out of the Big Apple, make a pit-stop at this sleepy restaurant located on a dark neighborhood road near the Great South Bay. This place actually used to be a brothel back in the day, and there are even ghost stories and tales of hauntings to go along with all the nice T&A you see on the walls in this joint (classy nudes).
60 River Rd, Great River, NY 11739
4) Strip House: While we’re on the subject of clothes-less broads, we would be smart to mention this place, where you can also see a nice variety of old timey B&W tits and ass photos on the walls (again, classy nudes – nothing raunchy, unfortunately). If you’re out in Vegas with the guys, this is the perfect place to get the juices flowing with a solid dinner pre-game. I know one of the chefs who runs these restaurants and trains staff, so I can personally vouch for the incredible quality of the food and service here. Just wait until AFTER the meal to drink yourself into temporary memory loss. Trust me – you won’t want to forget this meal.
3667 S Las Vegas Blvd, Las Vegas, NV 89109
5) The Big Texan: What better way to celebrate manhood than to get involved with a steak eating contest at this Route 66 landmark legend of a restaurant? This place is famous for its 72oz steak challenge. You have to finish in an hour. Any man worth his weight in chest hair should be able to do this. But here’s the real kicker: the record is held by a woman, and she did TWO 72oz steaks in 15 fucking minutes!
7701 Interstate E 40, Amarillo, TX 79118
6) Gibson’s: The vibe here just oozes manliness. The old fashioned wood paneled walls, the photos of celebs and famous folks who have dined there, and the classic, iconic Chicago signage out front… it all just makes you salivate for a steak and martini.
1028 North Rush Street, Chicago, IL 60611
7) Mastro’s Ocean Club: This spot takes manly to the upscale level. This is the kind of place that men go to when they want to flash some coin for a great meal with great ambiance. This joint is literally ON the beach, so they even have a fantastic seafood selection if you’re feeling a little pussyish.
18412 Pacific Coast Hwy, Malibu, CA 90265
8) Dickie Brennan’s: This place is on the fancy side, but it comes correct. It also helps that it’s in a pretty awesome party town; New Orleans, right in the French Quarter. You can end your day of boozing and bluesing here with a nice fat steak before continuing the Bourbon Street debauchery well into the night.
716 Iberville St, New Orleans, LA 70130
9) Kevin Rathbun Steak: This jont delivers manly sized portions with the expertise of high caliber fine dining. Most joints go big but sacrifice quality in the process. Not the case here. The decor is pretty nice too: gray brick walls, metallic tree branch lighting and stained glass. This is your “converted warehouse” sort of joint, and as a man with hairy gonads, I like warehouses and all things industrial.
154 Krog St NE, Atlanta, GA 30307
10) Murray’s Steakhouse: This place keeps it classy, and has been for nearly 70 years. When you look at the restaurant from the street, you’ll think you’re on a movie set or that you just stepped off a fucking time machine, back into the golden age of America, when times were simpler. This joint boasts an impressive selection of beef cuts in an incredible variety of styles. It was opened up by a husband and wife team in 1946, so it makes a great romantic date spot as well as a destination for steak night with the guys.
26 S 6th St, Minneapolis, MN 55402
Capital Grille (midtown west)
Capital Grille (midtown west, NYC) overall score: 84
One of the rising star steakhouse chains, Capital Grille has several locations around the country. This review is for the midtown west location in NYC.
Flavor: 8
Unfortunately, my Delmonico steak came rare despite ordering it medium. The replacement steak was not rested, and when I cut into it, it bled out all over my plate, leaving me with a pool of juice and a feverish struggle to finish before it got dry. The steak also had a bit of inedible fat on it, but it also did have some nice melty yummy fat too. It tasted good, but I had to add salt and pepper because they rushed my replacement and didn’t season it properly. I tasted the filet as well, since my coworker ordered the price fix for ladies (FYI he is not a she), which came with an 8oz filet (no bigger than a good burger). It was perfectly cooked and juicy. So rather than the minus 5 that this place would have gotten for the incredible steak mishap, I added a point back for the filet. Keep in mind that mishap threw off the entire flow of the meal. My coworker had to start eating otherwise his steak would have gotten cold, and I was sitting there poking at the sides while waiting for my unrested, unseasoned $45 steak. Sons of bitches… On a second visit I went for the $39 price fix theater menu’s Kona crusted sirloin, which comes in at 14oz. Not a bad steak for the deal, but I think the 8oz filet tasted better (my buddy got that). Either way the points went up here after the second visit. See pics below (FYI that is shallot butter that they dumped on the meat):
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
They have a fair selection here. They offer a filet and a filet oscar for the (!)s of the group (A (!) is a pussy – look at it closely). They have two preparations of sirloin (cognac peppercorn being one, and the other just being regular grilled/broiled), a porterhouse, and a ribeye. The essentials are covered with a little variation, but not enough to live up to other joints in the neighborhood. The ribeye was semi-bone-in. I say that not because it was a half-limp penis, but because there were two very small pieces of bone that were part of the cut. I was a little disappointed, like a woman if she tried to get it on with a guy that had a half flaccid penis instead of a rock-solid longbone.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
The portion sizes are good. My Delmonico was 22oz, and all the other cuts are on par with normal NYC steakhouse sizes.
Price: 8
Martinis were $11 (good); my Delmonico steak was $45 (semi-okay if not for the complete fuck-up of my order); the pussy-ass price fix dinner was a great deal at $39 (Caesar or mixed greens salad, filet or 14oz sirloin, 2 sides and dessert). Otherwise sides were $10; and apps were anywhere from $12 to $17. The total bill for two, including three drinks, was $165 with tax and tip included – not bad. Here is the very reasonable bill from my second visit, when we had the theater menu price fix:
Bar: 9
The bar is great. There are high ceilings and the whole area is sunken to ground floor level so that you are looking up at street level through the large, tall windows. It is elegantly decorated with wood panels, mounted and stuffed (ooooh yeaaah) deer heads, and nice moulding. My martinis were made well. I can definitely hang here. It is good after work, if you are into suits in midtown (which you probably aren’t, since you are a normal person).
Specials and Other Meats: 7
There’s not much on special by way of meats. That could’ve been because we were seated near the bar, but we were still given access to the full menu, including the price fix special. They have lamb and chicken for alterna-meats: a bit lacking if you ask me. Step up CG. With as many locations as you have, you can afford to throw some pork, veal, and maybe some venison onto the menus.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
I had the “wagyu” carpaccio, which was delicious – probably the best part of the meal. The meat has a nice aged flavor, was very thinly sliced, and came with a nice peppery arugula dressed just right with a lemon aioli. There is nothing quite like priming the meat hole with some raw meat before adding some pounds of ribeye in. We tried the mashed potato and creamed spinach sides. The creamed spinach was just okay – it was creamy but the spinach itself seemed a little dried out. The mashed were good and creamy, lots of flavor, but after a few minutes of sitting out they became hard. For dessert we had ice cream, which came with a stick of biscotti. Sounds boring but the stuff is very rich and good. Especially the chocolate, and I usually hate chocolate. The creme brulee was perfect.
Coconut cream pie is one of my top five NYC steakhouse desserts.
Seafood Selection: 9
A solid showing here for seafood. The standard shellfish apps were available, along with a special 3oz lump crabmeat item, which I was tempted to order. For entrees there was lobster, swordfish, salmon, tuna, and shrimp – all done a bit different from the usual ways, like cedar planking, Japanese tataki style, etc.
Service: 10
Great service considering we sat at a table near the bar area that was not part of the main dining room. Our waitress was attentive and helpful, and someone from the managerial staff came out with my replacement steak to make sure all was cooked well (medium)… cooked properly that is. The waitress even said as she saw me cut into the first steak: “You said medium, and that is definitely not medium. I don’t know what’s going on back there.” They brought over a free mashed potato app to make up for it – nice try but no dice, dicks. The table bread basket (which we had to ask for) was really nice. There was warm onion bread, hot square-shaped everything bagel-ish things, and a huge matzo-like cracker (similar to Maloney & Porcelli, only better). Kaboom. Small world… I’m eating dinner during the second visit here, and all the while I’m thinking the waitress looks familiar. At the end of the meal I hand her my Johnny Prime card and she says that she remembers me. She says she waited on me in a big group at Vic & Anthony’s. “Tracie” – crazy that she remembered the group. She left there b/c she didn’t like the management and b/c she wasn’t making good $, and the restaurant was always dead. Anyway she gave me some “passes” for their specialty cocktails and a fried calamari app. Pretty funny, and just goes to show how great the service is.
Ambiance: 9
Aside from the obvious corporate milieu, the decor is really nice. The dining room is beautiful – with a view into the kitchen on the first floor. The wall art is classy, the bathrooms are clean and stocked with nice thick paper towels, and it smells fresh. The floors were clean, the ceilings were high, the music was good, and the crowd was just the right size.
I added a few points to this review after a recent trip to celebrate both my birthday and my move back to Manhattan. This place is a solid choice in the neighborhood. And nothing beats the prix fix deal for dinner before 7pm.
Here are some additional photos. Notice the amazing service. They sprayed the table with a confetti cumshot (clown jizz) since they knew we were celebrating, and they also brought out complimentary champagne and dessert (cheesecake and brownie). Our waiter, Edgar, was amazing. He provides the kind of service you get at meals where you spend $200 per person. The manager Tim stopped by too and thanked us for our patronage. I’ll definitely be coming back more often. Tim recently came from Keens Steakhouse, and I’m glad he did, because he’s clearly doing something right!
BURGER UPDATE 10/16/14
The ultimate burger is here at Capital Grill for the fall season, through around Thanksgiving. There are three different styles with a wine pairing for each. The one I stuffed down my esophagus tonight was 8oz of American Wagyu beef with havarti cheese, a fried egg and crispy fried onions on top. In other words it was a fucking cummy wet-dream on a bun.
Not only was the burger great, but so was our waiter, Jeremy. I felt like I’d known him for years! After my buddy graciously picked up the tab for the three of us and bolted to catch his train, me and my other buddy got to chatting with Jeremy about various different steak and burger places around town. Let’s just say I now have a bunch of new places on my short-list, both for burgers AND steaks. Thanks Jeremy: I truly appreciate the heads-up on those places, and I’m looking forward to dining at Capital Grill again, hopefully with you as the waiter.
Now on to the food pr0n. The burger was juicy as all fuck, tender and delicious. The beef quality is off the charts. This is by far the best burger I’ve had at a steakhouse. Look at this shit:
The egg was perfectly cooked sunny-side up and it dribbled down nicely into the meat without fucking up the bun. Like a sloppy BJ without any chick-spit hitting your balls or the sheets underneath your ass. Unreal. And the fries were perfect! Nice and crispy, well seasoned, soft inside. They offer a parmesan herb french fry too, with their regular menu burger, which I also want to try (these Wagyu fucks are a special offering only). And the wine I picked was a really nice Pinot Noir. Smooth.
My buddy opted for the Wagyu burger that was “Kona crusted” in an earthy coffee grind mixture, and topped with caramelized onions (and the havarti cheese). Looks sexy – like a slutty-but-not-quite-fat voluptuous chick who dresses in too-tight clothes and needs a good pounding to satisfy her craving for male attention:
That’s about it for now, you bastards. I’m sure I will be back before Thanksgiving to try out some more burgers here.
BURGER FOLLOW UP 4/8/15
I returned for the Kona wagyu burger when it was offered again in early April. I was delighted to see that Jeremy was there tending bar and actually remembered me! Such a professional, and we talked again about various burger joints. Funny part was that Tracie, who I mentioned above re: Vic & Anthony’s, waited on my wife and I! Pretty neat. She even threw in some desserts for us on the house. A-plus service at this joint, all the way! Anyway, I like the egg burger better than the Kona crust. Despite the meat being amazing quality, I still lean towards a traditional American cheeseburger with a potato bun and your standard lettuce, tomato and onion.
BURGER FOLLOW UP 9/22/17
It’s that time of year again, wagyu and wine!
This baby has aged cheddar and thick cut candied bacon on top.
CAPITAL GRILLE
120 W. 51st St.
New York, NY 10020
Ed’s Chowder House
NOTE: THIS PLACE IS CLOSED
Another neighborhood find, we came here because of the great happy hour deal. Cheap beer, cheap oysters, and cheap sliders. The sliders were so damn good that I vowed to return for a real burger. The cheese sauce on them was absolute heaven.
Fries were wonderful – great seasoning and nicely crisped.
Oysters were nice and fresh, clams too! At only $1.50 and $1 respectively, you can’t lose!
Various chowders were nice too. My favorite here was the potato, with smoky hints of bacon.
Salmon burgers are skippable:
On a second trip, my wife scored a Gilt City deal where she paid something like $40/pp for a five course tasting menu, plus a glass of Prosecco.
The table bread here is a variety of soft potato dinner rolls, corn bread “logs” and spicy muffins. Pretty good – I just wish they were warm.
The restaurant ran out of mussels for our shellfish platter, so they gave us more oysters instead. BONUS! Our favorite was the Wildfire Island (unless it is Wild Fire Island?) – it was briny and smooth, creamy, crisp – yet substantial and not snotty or runny.
Unfortunately the lobster was a little bland. The rest was good though (clams and shrimp).
Next was a nice cup of chowder. I had the mushroom chowder (right), and my wife had the New England clam chowder. Mine was the winner here. It was velvety and smooth, with lots of flavor, and topped with some truffle oil for good measure.
The scallop ravioli was pretty great. There were a ton of scallop chunks inside. The only thing this dish needed was a bit of fresh cracked boac keeper. The sauce was a butter type deal – I suppose that could have used a little bit more salt as well, but we both really enjoyed this dish. It had a great seafood aroma too, but the flavor wasn’t fishy at all.
For the entrees, we chose the two fish items. My Scuna Bay salmon was a small portion, but I thought it was executed perfectly. The brownish-gray puree was made of eggplant I believe, and it was tangy when combined with the roe and small chunks of squash. That served to flavor the salmon so that when you had a bite with a little bit of everything, i twas very well balanced.
My wife’s potato chip crusted cod was similar. When eating a bit with all three components (cod, chip and spinach), you got a really nicely balanced bite. Otherwise the cod by itself was a little bit under seasoned. Much of the flavor was soaked up into that spinach bed.
For dessert we had a massive selection to choose from:
We ended up getting the vanilla banana cream pie. This was tasty. You can see the chunks of banana in the layer, which was pretty. Not too sweet, which I was happy about.
My wife ordered the Cheeky Monkey drink as well. This was strong! Definitely had a strong banana flavor to it too, aside from the booze.
The waiter gave us some free cookies too. I can’t imagine paying for these. Basic chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin and chocolate. I wasn’t really crazy about any of them, but if I had to choose a favorite, it’d be the oatmeal raisin. It was at least soft.
Overall this was a pretty great meal for $40 or $45 per person (whatever my wife paid). She got a discount on top of the Gilt City deal, so that made it even better. I still like the sliders better that all of this though, from the happy hour menu.
ED’S CHOWDER HOUSE
44 W. 63rd St.
New York, NY 10023