Category Archives: CUISINE

Piora

First, you have to watch this video:

Okay… So that is the whole reason we went here. I needed to do an honorable mention here just for that alone, despite the joint not being a true steakhouse. Well, I needed to try that steak AND sample their ridiculously delicious sounding menu, which you can see HERE. I think we tried most of the items on the menu. Seriously.

We started with a few of their awesome drinks from the cocktail menu, which were painstakingly crafted by this dude, who shaved chunks of ice by hand to fill the glasses.

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Check out his arsenal of wizard potions too:

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Okay so after that we ordered up some monkey bread for $6. A dollar per lump, each about the size of a mini-muffin or small cupcake. My biggest negative of the dining experience – this item should’ve been free. It was small, and I’ve had better bread for free at places like BLT Prime, Quality Meats, Quality Italian, Tellers, etc. This was essentially the same bread as the stuff at Quality Italian, but it cost $6 instead of nothing. Oh – it came with a seaweed butter (big deal) and some nice lard (that was yummy).

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Next we shared some starters: BBQ octopus and duck confit. Unfortunately I forgot to snap pics of those items, but they were both really delicious.

An amuse was brought out to us next: apple with chartreuse and beet:

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For pre-entrées we shared four items between the four of us: black garlic bucatini with Dungeness crab and chilis; (Riders of) Rohan duck (that’s a LoTR reference, by the way), suckling pig, and sea trout. All were small portions, so it was easy to sock away with four hungry diners. I won’t get into the serious specifics here, since this is a fucking steak blog, not a duck and pig blog, but the pasta was really nice with the crab meat on top. The aged duck was frigging awesome – may as well have been a steak; that’s how flavorful and legit this fucker was. The pork was soft inside with a nice crispy outside. See pics below. And as for the trout – some of the best crispy fish skin I’ve had to date.

bucatini
bucatini
Riders of Rohan Duck
Riders of Rohan Duck
suckling pig
suckling pig
Sea Trout. See Trout Swim. See Trout Get Eaten.
Sea Trout.
See Trout Swim.
See Trout Get Eaten.

We sided that shit up with an order of sunchokes with hazelnut, topped with parmesan cheese. Really great shit.

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Now for the good shit – the steak. The special, secret, off-menu, bone-in, 40oz rib eye/cote de beouf was … Well … You saw the video. It was fucking great. It ranks #2 in best steaks from a non-steakhouse; behind only the great and powerful Marc Forgione (who just opened a new steakhouse in Tribeca, by the way, called American Cut). This steak was nice – it had a bacon candy-like taste on the edges; great sear, locking in the flavor. The meat was tender, cooked just right. Take a look at the pics, before and after slicing:

before slicing
before slicing
after slicing
after slicing

It came with two side items: olive oil potato balls, and spigarello (which is best described as broccoli flavored kale, sautéed with garlic and oil). I didn’t care much for the potato balls, but the spigarello was nice. You can sorta see those items here in the plating:

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For dessert we had a scoop of salted caramel ice cream (not pictured), and an order of the white peach shaved ice, which sat on a coconut panna cotta with some blueberry sauce. THAT was really flavorful. I wish I had ordered three or four of those for my entrée. The coconut panna cotta was so light and fluffy. Totally gobble-worthy.

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And then the bill came:

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And then I took a dump in the bathroom. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

PIORA
430 Hudson St.
New York, NY 10014

Tabelog Event at SakaMai

I’ve been meaning to yap it up about Tabelog for a while now, but the timing is perfect now for this entry. Basically, in a crude and overly simplified description that cheapens what I mean to say, Tabelog is the Japanese version of Yelp – only a shitload better. In Japan, Tabelog is 5x larger than Yelp; they dominate the food review market. The company has recently endeavored to break into the US and global market, with their first state-side stop being NYC, of course. That’s where Johnny Prime comes in. The awesome folks at Tabelog recognized my manliness and contacted me (and other well known and influential food bloggers) to be a part of the process – to give input on the website, to act as the voice of the user, etc. And most fun for us foodies – they also asked us to be judges for their NYC restaurant awards. Of course I fucking jumped at the opportunity to voice my opinion on things; namely, their “best steakhouse” category… Which, sadly, went to Peter Luger… Yeah… BOO… HISS… I was a bit surprised too… Oh well. Clearly some of the people who voted on this category need to get out to some different steakhouses, or they need to thoroughly read my site. I guess this just means that my important work must go on. I have more to do… Thankfully, Tabelog provides another great format and outlet for my manliness to disseminate to the world abroad. So thank you Brock and Ken for taking me into the fold. I’m honored, humbled, and thrilled to be a part of this.
Anyway… After being introduced to the newly launched US website I found that I REALLY liked the format. Not only that, but Tabelog allows food and restaurant reviewers a hell of a lot more control over the content and overall look of their reviews. Tabelog was smart to make the review process personal, so that you can almost get to know the writers just as much as the restaurants. Reviewers on Tabelog have their own little corner of cyberspace to stand on their milk crate and shout out their unique message; it’s kinda like Facebook meets restaurant reviews in a way. Meanwhile, Yelp has a whole shitpile of obnoxious restrictions like no use of hyperlinks, no self promotion, no mention of your website anywhere in your reviews, image restriction this, content restriction that… To some extent I understand the concern, but it has gotten a bit ridiculous lately. Yelp also doesn’t allow for embedded images in the body of the review, and they also hide or block certain reviews based on some fucked up algorithm that they THINK works to weed out what they perceive as “biased” reviews from tainting the process. Good intentions, but the reality is that many times this “feature” actually HARMS small businesses; I’ve seen it happen with people that I know who run small shops. Even despite numerous efforts by these small businesses to contact Yelp to alert them of problems or attempt to rectify situations, Yelp ignores, or pulls out some pre-conceived, pro-forma, bullshit-laden excuse/rationale. Tabelog has none of these ridiculous issues. Whoever is running the Tabelog tech is a fucking wizard, and the layout, user interface, and intuitive organizational nature of the site simply blows away the competition. Granted it is still new here, and things are just starting to heat up for them in NYC, but MAN do they show promise… I’m really looking forward to their explosion into the US market. And it’ll be fun because I’ll be there for the wild ride. Exciting.
So now, literally, to the meat and potatoes… Last night Tabelog threw an event for their NYC judges at the incredible SakaMai restaurant; a real deal legit Japanese place on the lower east side. The Tabelog folks were cool enough to let me bring my wife as well, who, as you might already know, is The Cake Dealer and also an awesome food blogger herself. The food at SakaMai was off the hook – pretty much perfection. Check out the pics and captions below.
First is the menu. Pics of the dishes go clockwise from bottom left:
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Here is the carrot puree with dashi gelee and summer truffle. At first I thought it was some kind of uni puree based on the color and bright, brine flavor. This was one of the most delicious items of the night. I think I sucked down three of these mutherfuckers.
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Next is the meat: filet mignon tartare with uni, wasabi mascarpone, and poached egg. I had three of these too. Hands down one of the better tartares I’ve ever had. It was earthy, it had great texture, and the poached egg introduced just the right amount of fat back into the dish.
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Now for the trout and caviar sushi. I only had one of these, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. It was delicate, but full of great flavor. Very clean, crisp and refreshing.
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Lobster croquettes with lardo iberico and sansho peppers. I went back for seconds here. Just a great, soft yet powerful punch of velvety flavor inside that crispy fried outer shell. And sitting on a little puree of potato.

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Now for more meat – this time a chicken + fois gras burger. Fucking delicious. I only had one, but I could have put away a dozen of these fuckers quick and easy – so quick it would rival my old drunken 3am White Castle runs. And I don’t care what you say: White Castle sliders rule. Just don’t save any in the fridge overnight or else the next day the entire appliance will smell like rotting trash.

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MORE MEAT! Iberico pork on a bed of farro salad. My first bite was extremely chewy but I think that’s because I got one of the fatty/gristled ends. My next two servings were perfect. When I first saw the color of the slices I thought I was dealing with flank, skirt or strip steak: a nice pinkish center. But when you delve into high quality pork, the “other white meat” can be served a little less cooked. This was some yummy shit:

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Dessert: strawberry compote with mascarpone and a truffled balsamic drizzle. Fuck the strawberry though. It was great but I could drink that fucking cream all day. I’d rub that shit all over my face and gobble it down like Jenna Jameson if I had to.

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Now onward to the booze! SakaMai offered us up a delicious selection of sakes, served up by some serious sake experts – so serious that they are called samurai. Serious. No joke. But seriousness aside, the one samurai we spoke to was hilarious, reciting jokes about the history of certain drinks.

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We tasted a nice array of some very different sakes and booze. Below are two pics: one of our favorite sake, which was very clean, crisp and pure… Then a spicy plum alcohol which was accompanied by a funny story told by the sake samurai.

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And last but not least, the talent and brains behind it all. First Tabelog: this is a shot of Brock (left) and Ken (right) telling us about the company’s plans and how we fit into the equation.

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Next is SakaMai owner Natalie (left) and Chef Akiyama (right), who told us a lot about their restaurant and fielded a wide array of questions from us food nerds.

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SAKAMAI
157 Ludlow St.
New York, NY 10002

Where The Buffalo Roam

I recently became aware that Long Island has a thriving buffalo ranch out in Riverhead called North Quarter Farm. When I started digging around online about it, I came across a few articles written over the last 10 or 15 years that championed the effort. See the NY Times Article and the Long Island Press Article. I learned that the farm owners also have a steakhouse-type restaurant called Tweeds, run by the husband of the bison ranch team, where they proudly feature many items that derive from bison (buffalo mozz, buffalo hanger steak, buffalo rib eye, buffalo reuben sandwich, etc). There’s even a second restaurant, right next door and run by the wife in the farm team, called Dark Horse. This place is more of a casual bar type of place, with a modern decor and music selection, featuring items like buffalo pate and buffalo pastrami sandwiches. I inquired about whether they use the actual buffalo from the farm in the restaurants. The answer was no (with the exception of the “ground steak” used to make the bison burgers at Dark Horse). Unfortunately their bison must go out to PA to be USDA certified before they can be slaughtered and cooked up into delicious food. But I thought it was cool that they put as much buffalo meat onto the menu as possible to pay tribute to their ranch business. They even offer buffalo meat cuts (steaks of all kinds, pate, chopped meat, etc) to buy and take home for your own cooking adventures.

So my wife and I decided to take a drive out there to try the food and to see the farm. We settled on eating at Tweeds, since we liked the interior better and it was a little more quiet. Since we ordered from the lunch menu I couldn’t realistically give the place a full review here, but I thought it was worth mentioning in a commentary with some photos. The place was beautiful inside, rich with local history and an old timey atmosphere. Apparently the giant bison head on the wall beside the bar is the actual last bison that Teddy Roosevelt ever hunted. Pretty cool. The service was excellent; our waitress Janine was really nice, helpful, and sweet. They had a great selection of German beers on tap and in bottles, and the food was fucking delicious. We started with a bison skewer and a couple of beers. The meat was juicy and tender; cooked just right. For my entree I had a bison hanger steak. It too was perfectly cooked, juicy, and delicious. It came with a peppercorn cognac cream sauce that I could drink by the gallon. So good. My wife had the corned bison Reuben sandwich. Just like a regular corned beef Reuben, but with corned bison. It was incredible, and served with some big sliced pickles. Both of our meals came with potato wedges, deep fried with the skin still on for a really delicious, crispy, homemade pile of steak fries. Needless to say we will definitely be going back here for a proper dinner, where I can sink my teeth into a buffalo rib eye (it wasn’t on the lunch menu).

Scroll down for pics of our food, and for pics of the buffalo at the farm. The bison were right along the fence for a bit, so I got a few close up shots before they walked away. We even had the pleasure of seeing some of the bison “wallowing,” or rolling themselves in a shallow dirt spot, covering themselves in dust.

FOOD PICS:

Teddy's Bison Head
Teddy’s Bison Head
Bison Skewer App
Bison Skewer App
Bison Hanger Steak
Bison Hanger Steak
Corned Bison Reuben
Corned Bison Reuben
Bill
Bill

BUFFALO RANCH PICS:

buffalo farm 007 buffalo farm 014_tonemapped edits 2 buffalo farm 029_tonemapped sepia buffalo farm 036_tonemapped vintage 2 buffalo farm 043_tonemapped sepia

TWEED’S
17 E. Main St.
Riverhead, NY 11901

Parea Prime

Parea Prime overall score: 83

NOTE: This restaurant is now CLOSED.
Flavor: 8
I had the rib eye, as usual. it was really nicely cooked, tender, juicy, delicious. The only downside was that the meat was a little bit tight. Not tough, but maybe it didn’t have as much marbling as I had hoped. Also the fat cap was a little bit on the smaller side than I usually like, and less of it was edible than normal. Overall though I really enjoyed my steak (8/10). I tried some of the lamb chops, braised short rib, and the porterhouse as well – all were good, though the porterhouse was a bit overcooked (6/10).
RIB EYE

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9

The quality here is all prime, and supposedly hand selected by Pat LaFrieda himself! The online menu showed a rib eye for two, but they didn’t have it at the restaurant. Otherwise they had all the basics; porterhouse for multiple even numbers of diners, filet, strip, and rib eye. They also had some alternative meats like pork (which they were out of), veal, lamb and braised short rib. A nice selection.

Portion Size & Plating: 9

With the exception of the sides, the portions are all very generous, and the plating is up to par with other more modern, elegant steakhouses. I’d say my rib eye was upwards of 22oz.
PORTER

Price: 8

I can’t really complain at all here. At the end of the meal we were given some free booze (see service section). The rib eye was a bit pricey in my opinion, but the other steaks seemed fair (as well as the drinks). See the rest below:
BILL
Bar: 8
The bar is nice, though I wonder if the place would have been better arranged if they put the bar closer to the street/windows that in the back. They mixed a good martini though, and they have a great selection of house cocktails that looked (and tasted) great. My martini was $12, which, after spending $20 last week at Del Frisco’s, seemed like a steal (how sad is that?).

Specials and Other Meats: 8

There was no special beef cut, but they did offer some oysters and clams on special. As for other meats, they had braised short rib (which was yummy), lamb chops (also delicious), veal and pork chops (which they were out of).
braised short rib & lamb chops
braised short rib & lamb chops
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We started with some slab bacon, which was fatty and delicious. At $5 a slab it was worth it. We also shared some grilled octopus – it was tasty and bright, but it had less char on it than I had expected. Next we had some grilled calamari stuffed with Greek cheeses. These were very nice. During dinner we had some rosemary oregano fries, which were really crisp, aromatic and tasty. We also tried the creamed spinach and sauteed broccoli rabe with feta. Both were excellent, however there was just not enough of it in each order.
APPS
Seafood Selection: 7
They have a decent raw bar and app selection, but other than that it seems to just be sea bass (both Mediterranean and Chilean) and salmon for dinner (along with a crab cake plate).

Service: 10

The service here is absolutely awesome. Our water Salvador was really nice and helpful, and he had great suggestions for drinks and entrees. After dinner we had the great pleasure of chatting with the general manager Jean Christophe for quite a bit of time. He was a chef for many years at various great NYC steakhouses. This man is a class act, and a true gentleman. Both he and our waiter offered us some complimentary after dinner drinks from their high end selections (top notch tequilas and cognacs). I always enjoy meeting the people who run these places. When they truly love the industry it reflects in their service just how much each diner means to them.
Ambiance: 8
The ambiance was nice, but the music was a bit too clubby for my taste. Otherwise everything was neat, well decorated, and elegant – from the tables to the bathrooms. We had a nice big round table in the front of the restaurant, near the windows, and we enjoyed it.

Marc Forgione

Iron Chef Marc Forgione’s restaurant in Tribeca is amazing. Recently my wife came upon an article that featured the pig face platter; a dish that comprises a half a pig face and some side items that vary with each week (our week was a taco theme, as is pictured in the article, with a ramp sour cream, jicama salsa, etc.). They don’t offer it every week, and when they DO offer it, it is only on Thursdays. Well, our anniversary fell on a Thursday this year – so it was perfect. With nervous anticipation my wife called several times inquiring about whether pig face would be on the menu. Yesterday morning they gave the definitive “yes.” We were psyched.

Look at this delicious face! The cheek meat was incredibly soft and juicy, and the skin all over was unbelievable; you know the kind… sticky and fatty on one side, crispy and savory on the other. Perfection.

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For our meal we started with a nice octopus salad – really fantastic. Then we had the piggy face. Afterward we shared a massive 40oz french cut cowboy rib eye. Take a look at how amazing it looks (if only you could “see” how amazing it tasted too). I can’t rank Marc Forgione on this website because it’s not a steakhouse, but, if I were going to, this would get a 10 for flavor.

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As you can see in this shot it came with side items (a composed dish, as they say): carrot juice glazed carrot, some roasted potatoes, and roasted bone marrow. The steak itself was topped with a chimichurri sauce and little blobs of cold rosemary butter, which was nice because it didn’t melt into the meat and drench the plate in butter. You could pluck them off and spread it to your liking.

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It was a heavy meal, and would’ve been heavier if we started off with the fois gras instead of the octopus. The waiter, Jason, was helpful in making sure we didn’t have a richness blowout when he suggested we go with the octopus based on the other stuff we were ordering. He was great by the way. So were the cocktails. The service here in general is fantastic (definitely a 10). We even had a personalized “Welcome” / “Happy Anniversary” letter signed by Marc sitting at our table when we were seated, and at the end of the meal we had the pleasure of getting a glimpse of the culinary genius before we left.

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We were also given a nice manager’s discount on the bill!

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I hope Marc and his staff get a chance to see this post and this website. As a Carnivore Connoisseur, I think they would appreciate being mentioned as one of the best steaks in town, even when measured against establishments that ONLY deal in steak.

MARC FORGIONE
134 Reade St.
New York, NY 10013

Blackstone

Blackstone overall score: 83

A few months back I received a gift card to use at a group of restaurants on long Island. Blackstone, Insignia, and Rare 650. Rare 650 was a bit too far from my home, and I had already been to Blackstone once before (pre-reviewing days), so we wanted to try Insigna. The menu there looked like it had a better selection anyway. At 4pm we called to try to make a reservation, but the other end of the line was so noisy with blasting music that my wife couldn’t hear anything on the phone. The woman hung up on her. My wife called back, and the woman said they didn’t have any openings until 9:30pm, the music was still blasting, and then she hung up on my wife. Very unprofessional. So we gave up on the idea of Club Insignia, with all night long house music on the 1s and 2s, and went back to Blackstone. A note about my first trip to Blackstone a few years back; I had a great meal, but two of us got VERY sick (pissing-out-of-our-asses-all-night-long kind of sick). After some careful research into who ate what, we could only surmise that the two items me and the other person had that might have made us sick was a pint of Guinness. Sometimes the tap can get a funk if it isn’t poured often. A few of us all had ribeyes and shared the same apps, so it couldn’t have been the food (or so we think).

Flavor: 8

My second trip here, which is what this review is based on, was a much better experience. I had the ribeye, as usual. It was cooked nicely, evenly, and it had a good crust locking in the juices. It was rested well too. It just lacked a little bit of seasoning punch, and there was some inedible fat in parts (on some ribeyes, you can eat every bite – even the fat). Overall a very good steak. Everything here had good flavor as a matter of fact. Nothing was a let down, but, then again, nothing was amazing (except maybe the broccolini). On a third trip (for lunch) I had a 14oz filet, and my wife had a mixed greens salad with string beans and mandarin oranges, with lobster tail on top of a crabmeat guacamole – that was friggin delicious (the guac). My filet was nice and crispy/charred on the outside, and perfectly medium rare on the inside. The edges did get a little dry, however, since it was such a thick cut of meat. I found that dipping into the steak sauce on occasion was a good way to keep the moisture level high.

STEAK

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8

There’s a great selection here, and it is all top notch. They have all four of the basics (though they call the strip a sirloin, which makes me wonder) plus a great deal of stuff on special. When we went, there were two additional cuts on special; a 16oz boneless Oregon “wagyu,” and a 24oz bone-in sirloin. There’s a good selection of non-beef too.

Portion Size & Plating: 8

The sizes are good here. The ribeye was 28oz on the bone. Plating was basic and clean, nothing too fancy. Here is a pic of the salad we got on the third visit (mixed greens, string beans, tomato, mandarin orange – with crabmeat guacamole on the side, topped with lobster tail meat):

SALAD

Price: 7

Check out the bill below; our gift card knocked off $150, but we still dropped about $140 on top of that. This place is a bit pricey for Long Island. Though the quality is good, I found that other places on Long Island are a better bargain (better prices for as good, if not better, food). My steak was $52; too much for Long Island. Other high priced items were the shellfish plateau ($59), crab claws ($55/pound), and some of the special sushi rolls ($35-$45 for a roll – to Blackstone’s defense, many of those sushi rolls have “kobe” beef, lobster, and other pricey ingredients). On a third trip for lunch I had a $25 gift card that Blackstone gave out for free on the web. Great deal – it saved me the tip (see second receipt below – before the $25 was removed).

BILL

Bar: 9

The bar here is awesome. It’s big, spacious, well decorated, and boasts a great selection of booze and specialty cocktails. It’s definitely a place I could see people hanging at after work or before a full night out. They mix a nice martini to boot (though the olive was a bit too pickle tasting – standard jar olive).

Specials and Other Meats: 9

On special, Blackstone has at least one item for every section of their menu (and they have many sections). They offered a lobster sushi special, a few app specials (like crab claws by the pound, shellfish plateaus, and a mozzarella cheese app), two beef specials (ribeye and sirloin), a fish special (branzino), a pasta special, and a dessert special (chocolate & peanut butter Napoleon). I was impressed.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8

We started with the oysters, some sliced octopus and a sushi roll, and all were good. Clean, cold, and tasty. My wife ordered a shellfish plateau for her main meal, and it was great. It had a half a lobster, a half a snow crab, 5 clams, 4 oysters (2 east coast, 2 west coast), and shrimp. A bit pricey at $59, but it was good. On the side we had creamed spinach and broccolini. The creamed spinach was nicely done – not incredible but definitely not inedible. Standard. The broccolini, on the other hand, was amazing. Sauteed in oil and garlic, it had just the right amount of seasoning. I’d say that was probably the best part of the entire meal. For dessert, we tried the peanut butter and chocolate Napoleon. It was nice and light, surprisingly. It was served with a peanut powder of some kind that was really fluffy. It wasn’t just ground up peanuts. It must have been done via molecular gastronomy / food chemistry techniques or something. Delicious. I washed that down with a double shot of espresso, which was more like a quadruple shot; I couldn’t fall asleep later that night. One thing I recall from my first visit here was the “kobe” beef cooked on hot rocks – that was cool, and I remember it being really tasty, despite not being true kobe beef. On a third trip for lunch my wife and I split a trio of seafood (lump crab, half a lobster tail, and two huge shrimp ($26). For dessert we had a blondie banana creme pie that was absolutely the best thing on the menu.

Seafood Selection: 8

The seafood is great here. Aside from the incredible (though pricey) selection of sushi, they also have great traditional seafood fare that you often see on steakhouse menus. Crab claws by the pound was a nice departure from that as well. I was happily surprised to see that my plate of oysters for my app had different oysters from my wife’s plateau meal. Nice touch. Also, they had sushi specials that weren’t on the menu, and a branzino fish dish on special as well.

Service: 9

The service here was good. We had, basically, a team of two; a waiter and a waitress. They were attentive, friendly, and informative. The manager even did a swing-by to make sure we were okay. All the wait staff wore shirts and ties with jackets, and everyone else was nicely dressed and professional looking. The bread was a nice warm crisp sourdough, served with olive oil instead of butter. On the third trip the waiter forgot to bring us our broccolini side that we ordered. No harm done, since we were not charged for it. In addition the waiter misheard me when I said “no” to a second newcastle. So I imagine they had to dump that beer. Otherwsie the service was still great, as usual.

Ambiance: 9

Blackstone is no doubt Japanese themed. When you walk in, it has that sushi restaurant smell (market fresh, not Canal Street nasty). There is a sushi bar to the right, and the walls are all done with a nice natural ledge stone. There are a few nice looking fireplaces, high ceilings, and nice dark wood. To the left, there is the tremendous bar, and behind that, an outdoor lounge seating area next to a nice long modern fireplace, and more tables for outdoor dining (with retractable roof). The bathrooms were nice too. The men’s room had an attendant; stocked with mouth wash, gum, candy, and hand lotion in case your meal is so good that you need to jerk one out real quick in the stall.

BLACKSTONE
10 Pinelawn Rd.
Melville, NY 11747

Churrascaria Tribeca

Churrascaria Tribeca 

UPDATE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!!! However, the midtown west location is very similar to this location, so it can be read as a review of the midtown spot. I give the flavor 8/10, but despite this being a “steakhouse” I am not giving it the full review treatment.

One of the greatest things to do in the meat world is experience Brazilian Rodizio, otherwise known as “all you can eat steak.” For a true carnivore, this is about one of the best experiences one can ever have. Waiters come around with huge skewers loaded with slabs of meat, and they carve it right off onto your plate. Not only that, but there are upwards of 15 types of meat at most good places. You can sit there for hours eating, taking breaks, loading up again, etc. They give you a coaster that is red on one side and green on the other. Green means go. Green means meat. Green means eat. Flip it to red if you need a little break (because you are a pussy). Also – I apologize for not having any photos of the meal. I was just too hungry to whip out my camera, and all you would see, really, is just a pile of various meats on a plate (rather confusing). PLEASE NOTE: This place is not a real deal steakhouse like the others I have reviewed here. This is a special type of joint for the reasons mentioned above. Anyway – read on, dicks.

Flavor:

Everything here is amazing. After a waiter makes his rounds with the skewered meat and slices pieces away from the hunk, the newly exposed portions are re-seasoned and kissed with heat again. This is great because every bite you eat is perfectly mouth watering, juicy, well seasoned, and delicious. You almost never get an over-cooked or dry piece of meat, with the exception of maybe chicken breast. Honestly, I can write a 10,000 word review of how each meat tasted and how each was spiced and seasoned, but it would take forever for you to read, and all you would really come away with at the end was: “Okay. This place is fucking awesome.” My reviews are long enough already. My personal favorites were the flank steak, the garlic sirloin, and the prime rib (see below for all the options available).

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available:

There is almost TOO much variety here. I say almost because there really can never be too much to choose from, if it is all done well. Diners can choose from sausage, chicken (drumettes and breast), garlic sirloin, top sirloin, flank, Parmesan crusted pork loin, bacon wrapped turkey, prime rib, pork ribs, beef ribs, roasted lamb, bacon wrapped filet, duck legs, and whole roasted pig (with crispy skin and pineapple sauce). Fucking unbelievable. Now, understand that this is not a “sit-down and order a steak” restaurant setting. You sit down, and then you get delicious food delivered to you like a sultan. They don’t have the traditional four cuts of steak parading around on plates, but the choices and variety here are all perfectly executed. They may be using choice mixed with prime, but it makes no difference. Believe me. They treat their meet with great care.

Portion Size & Plating:

Here, you make your own portion sizes. You can have the man carve you 10 slices of prime rib if you want, or you can just take one slice and collect an array of different meat slices. It is up to you to get your money’s worth. Eat, then go down to the bathroom and make yourself puke so you have more room. That’s what the Roman’s did.

Price:

Our total bill came to $62 per person (tax and tip included!). That was for two Rodizio style dinners and two beers. Beers are only $6 here, but they are also only about 10 ounces each (smaller mugs, not pints). Dinner at regular price is about $60, but my friend and I took advantage of Savored’s deal for 30% off, so that was a great help to an already extremely fair-priced dinner.

Bar:

The bar here is great but not perfect. It is modern, sleek, well decorated, and it has a lounge feel. The restaurant is in a great tribeca location, so it gets hopping from time to time. I used to live in the area and I always remember it being crowded in the outdoor seating area and near the bar. They often have live music too, which is great. One of the great things about Churrascaria and Brazilian places in general is that you can order a caipirinha and people won’t look at you like a space alien. The caipirinha is Brazil’s national cocktail, and it is made with rum, sugar in the raw, and lime (though at Churrascaria places they usually offer a massive variety of tropical fruit flavors). It’s great. Try one.

Specials and Other Meats:

There are no specials… though you really don’t need specials when everything is so good, and you get so much to choose from without having to commit to any one dish. I think these places can be PERFECT is they just serve, say, one special item that varies each week. Maybe one week it is venison, and another week it is wild boar, or quail. As you can tell, aside from beef, this place has a massive variety of beef substitutes to choose from, so full points are awarded.

Apps, Sides & Desserts:

On the table there is a little piece of paper with about 15 different sides listed. These are all included in your purchase price. You can order as many as you want. We tried the fried bananas (delicious – almost like dessert). And yes they were BANANAS and not plantains. We also tried the black beans and the mashed potatoes. The beans were better than the mashed, and I, personally, could have skipped all the sides since you are eating so much meat to begin with. In fact, in all my times going to this place (this was my fourth trip) I don’t think I ever ordered a side before. People: it’s all about the meat. But if you want, get the fried bananas for dessert and ask for a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. They do have a dessert menu too, but we were too full on meat to even look at it. Also important to mention here is the salad bar. Free with your dinner is as many visits to the salad bar as you want. This is more like a seafood bar, so see below for more info, but the salad bar can be a full meal in itself. Everything there is great, and in fact diners can choose “just the salad bar” as their meal for a cheaper cost.

Seafood Selection:

The salad bar houses all the seafood that this place offers. There is shrimp cocktail, sushi (both rolls and pieces), calamari salad, octopus salad, shrimp salad, mussel salad, crab salad, various forms of ceviche, bacon (YES!), fresh mozzarella and olives, hearts of palm, all sorts of baked fish casseroles, stewed fish in various sauces, and some leafery. The only things absent were oysters, clams and lobster (unless I missed them somehow). I took a couple of points for that (and the octo was a little tight), but realize that this is a Brazilian joint; the fish you expect to see should differ from what you expect at an American steakhouse. Everything I had was delicious, and you can easily focus ONLY on the salad bar and ignore all the meat yet still have a great meal here. The salad bar is almost just as impressive as the meat.

Service:

The service here is really awesome. You truly feel like a king when the food just keeps coming around non-stop, and the meat is carved directly onto your plate. The waiters are all friendly, well dressed, and they carve the meat very professionally, with machete-like blades that measure about two feet long. They come take your plate away when it gets loaded with scraps, and bring you a fresh one for the next set of meat. There’s not much else you can ask for.

Ambiance:

The decor here is very tribeca. High ceilings, exposed duct work, chic, clean, neat, and industrial. It is elegant however, and very spacious (hence “very tribeca”). I was a little hot at first, but I chalk that up to the meat sweats. The bathroom has a nice clean rustic-looking tile job, and the live entertainment beside the bar was classy jazz (piano, light percussion and vox).