Recently my cousin sent me a text message with some pretty alarming and exciting photos and videos.
Yeah, that’s right… the motherfucker made his own sous vide machine, cooked up some filets to medium rare, and then seared them the fuck off in a cast iron skillet to get some texture on the edges.
What exactly is a sous vide machine, for you non-food nerds? The words translated from French mean “under vacuum.” It is essentially a hot tub for meat. How it works: you place vacuum sealed meats into the water bath and leave them there until the meat comes up to the proper temperature, which is set and regulated with a water heater and temperature controller. You can’t overcook the meat! You get perfect medium rare shit every time, evenly cooked through and through.
As you can imagine, I was flipping out at what my cousin had achieved. I browsed some DIY sous vide instructional websites a few years back when I was living in a house on Long Island, but it seemed like a ton of effort. I thought to myself, “I’ll just get a real-deal machine someday.” But once I saw these things from my cousin, I knew it was time to pull the trigger.
Lucky for me, my cousin is super handy and craftsmanlike when it comes to stuff like this, and he has access to a bunch of great tools like dremels and drill presses.
A flurry of texts immediately ensued. It’d be fun to build one together, I thought. THIS LINK is the instructional we worked from. My cousin ordered a bunch of the materials online…
I pulled my cooler out of the closet, which would serve as the main cooking vessel or “hot tub” (and it saved me some bucks for not having to buy a plastic tub).
and I ordered a vacuum sealer via Amazon Prime…
I also nabbed a blow torch, a can of propane, and a Searzall, because I want to flame that shit sometimes instead of finishing in a pan. Plus, this works great if I ever do fish – the skin… oh maaaaan it gets crispy…
I sent the dimensions of my cooler lid area to my cousin:
He used this to figure out how to cut the plexi down to size to serve as the top portion that suspends the water heater in position. He also built the temperature control housing, and wired the power supply for the temperature control unit and heater probe (thermometer).
I was initially concerned that the hinged top of my cooler wouldn’t close properly with the plexi in place. It turns out that closing the top tight isn’t too big of a problem when you’re using a nicely insulated vessel like a cooler. Also, we dropped the plexi to a lower lip within the cooler, so the thing closes nicely now:
Then you suction this to one of the walls. Essentially this is a water circulator. It keeps the water swirling around so that there are no warm or cold spots within the bath, which makes for a nice even cooking temperature.
BOOM! I can’t wait to fire this fucker up. I’m going to pick up some fish and beef right the fuck now.
Recently I picked up a Groupon for this joint when they offered a pretty sweet deal: One app, two entrees/steaks, and two sides for something like $65. I figured that was a steal at more than half off the face value of the menu items. The place is Kosher, so I went with a buddy of mine who keeps to the old ways.
Talia’s has a very neighborhood, home style feel to it. Lots of regulars come in, and they even have live music on many nights during the week.
I had read online that some people didn’t like the service in here, but our waitress was friendly and accommodating, as were the people at the host and reservation table. I guess there’s a lesson here: never trust the morons on Yelp.
So on to the meat and potatoes (literally)…
The table bread here was really unique. This fluffy, semi-flat, naan-like bread had a half-sweet flavor quality to it, but that “butter” you see on the right was incredible. It’s not butter, by the way, because butter is dairy, and, in Kosher cuisine, dairy can not be mixed with the beef. Anyway it was salty, herby, really smooth and spreadable. Perhaps based from olive oil? I was devouring this shit:
You can even see the little oven thing where they make and heat the bread as you walk into the entrance door. It takes up some real estate at the end of the bar:
Next was the app: we went with the hummus and mushrooms dish. This came with more of the aforementioned bread. The flavor was excellent on this. The hummus was smooth and the mushroom and onion mix on top reminded me of gravy. If this was slathered onto some fried chicken, you’d think you were eating a middle eastern or Mediterranean southern fusion dish. It may look like vomit, but I assure you it tasted great. Both of us kist kept going back into this for more. But beware – it is very filling:
I ordered the grilled prime rib for one (16oz). It came out on a sizzling hot cast iron plate and smelled delicious. The meat was cooked slightly above how I like it (medium instead of medium rare), but that’s probably due to the residual heat of the cast iron plate. As you can see below, it came to me pretty correct in terms of temperature. The only down side was that it was slightly gamey.
It came with a choice of sides. I went with salad since we were already getting other sides with the Groupon meal. This was a basic mixed greens type of thing. Nothing too fancy or anything, and it definitely fits with the neighborhood, home-style, mom & pop type of restaurant feel.
My buddy got the butcher’s steak, which is a hanger. It was cooked to his liking at medium, had a great charred crust on the outside. I felt it just lacked a little bit of salt in terms of seasoning. His dish came with sautéed kale, which neither of us liked as much as the spinach (below). Something was missing on that – perhaps it needed some pepper or salt.
The spinach was a basic garlic and oil sautee. Pretty solid:
And the fries were golden and crisp. Nicely done:
Overall this place was actually pretty good given the limited menu options for a non-Kosher guy like me. I was happily surprised, as I was expecting the worst based on some of the reviews out there. I was satisfied and felt like I got my money’s worth. While it’s difficult for me to fit this into the standard steakhouse review format, I will give it a shot below.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 6 – basically, we are working with only rib cuts, a hanger, and some form of knock-off tenderloin, since Kosher butchery requirements make it very difficult to extract the filet without running afoul of the system. There is no strip either.
Portion Size & Plating: 5 – basic plating with smaller than usual portions, but this is a low key, neighborhood family type of joint. I wasn’t expecting 24oz rib eyes.
Price: 7 – fair prices given the Groupon. Otherwise it may seem a bit overpriced. However they run the special quite often, so keep an eye out for that if you are considering this joint. You get a lot of food for that Groupon meal.
Bar: 5 – there are only about three or four spots at the bar.
Specials & Other Meats: 7 – there was definitely an entire page of special menu items and even cocktails. As far as other meats go, there was definitely a selection for those not wanting beef (lamb, chicken, etc).
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6 – a good showing, but nothing to really go bonkers about. The hummus was nice though.
Seafood Selection: 2 – There’s only two salmon dishes, so it’s sort of a weak showing. However, certain items that you typically find in steakhouses, like shellfish, are not Kosher, so they can’t be on the menu.
Service: 8 – Service was good. I don’t know what all the Yelping was about. We enjoyed our meal, the people were nice and we felt warmly welcomed. There are no waiters sitting around preparing themselves to swap your fork out or fold your napkin when you get up, but the water glass was always full, and we never felt like we were waiting around for service. Everything was as it should have been.
Ambiance: 6 – It was crowded, which is not a bad thing, but the tables were a little cramped. Since this is a local neighborhood joint, you are not going to get the crazy, opulent steakhouse vibe like you would down in Tribeca or midtown.
TALIA’S STEAKHOUSE
668 Amsterdam Ave.
New York, NY 10025
My wife and I came here after hearing good things abut this place forever. I was looking forward to trying some of famed Chef Michael Lomonaco’s dishes. Check out how the meal went:
Flavor: 7 (increased to 9)
My wife and I had the cowboy cut bone-in rib eye. We ordered it medium rare. It was pretty much cooked properly, if not very slightly undercooked (which I don’t normally mind). The first few bites were great…
…but then we started having some stringy bits, gristle and not-so-flavorful uncooked pieces.
The down side was that there wasn’t much fat cap around the eye either, which meant my favorite parts were missing. We ended up with lots of scraps (maybe 12oz worth) – even when sharing the approximately 24oz piece of steak – which I ended up bringing home for making stock. Bummer.
UPDATE 9/27/17
The prime rib, available on Wednesday and Thursday, is a 9/10. Very juicy and comes with a delicious bone marrow side.
UPDATE 6/7/18
I also got to try the porterhouse (9/10)
The chili-rubbed rib eye (9/10)
And the veal chop (8/10)
Dry-aged strip (9/10).
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
You have a ton of selections here. Two different rib eyes (bone-in cowboy, and chili rubbed 45-day aged), a filet, a porterhouse for two, and two different strips (bone-in and boneless). Everything is aged and prime, and the filet is black angus. They masterfully hit all four basic cuts. It’s just that the cuts were not executed nicely.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
Portions here are good. I’d say our steak was about 24oz, the apps were large, as well as the sides.
Price: 8
Prices are high here ($63 for the bone-in rib eye). Normally I’d say that you are getting top quality beef and an amazing view of the park from Columbus Circle, not not all seats have such a nice view, and at $63 my steak should have been fucking perfect. I think it’s fair for the slight up charge based on location, but they need to execute at that price point. The apps all hit their marks, however, and they were reasonably prices along with the drinks. This improved, though, on a second and third visit.
Bar: 8
The bar here is pretty decent for being stuck inside a mall. There was a good crowd here, and I can definitely see myself chowing down on a burger and throwing back a few beers. That’d be better than dropping another $63 on a steak, for sure. They have some nice cocktails and a great wine selection as well. I really liked the Peacock Tonic, which had muddle cucumbers, Hendrick’s gin, tonic and rosemary.
Specials and Other Meats: 9
There are lots of alternative cuts of meat here. There’s a roasted chicken, lamb, veal, duck, pork and even a minor cut of beef like skirt (or the steak frites cut that they use for the lunch menu). On special, there was only a soup of the day, which was New England clam chowder. I was hoping for a bit more.
Lamb t-bones and duck steak were both excellent.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 9
We tried three apps. First up, the hand cut filet mignon tartare. This was really great. The capers popped, it was dressed just right, and seasoned well.
Next was the roasted bone marrow. This was also delicious. It was lightly salted, and oh-so-smooth to spread onto the grilled country bread. Excellent.
They recently made this even better by adding morels to it.
The fois gras and chicken liver pate was interesting, though I thought it needed a sprinkling of salt. This would shave been better served with the raisin and nut bread that they passed around in the beginning of the meal (see below) instead of the toasted bread that it came with, stacked like Jenga blocks.
We also tried the creamed spinach. Unfortunately I wasn’t a fan of this at all. It was a little watery, too much cream in the ratio, and also had a very strong nutmeg quality to it that reminded me of all the pumpkin spice bullshit you get shoved down your throat in the pre-Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas madness. I almost didn’t want to take it home, but I felt like it’d be such a waste if I didn’t. Maybe if it wasn’t pouring rain outside I would have found a bum to give it to.
We skipped dessert since, after our steak, we were a little underwhelmed.
But on another visit, I think I tried every dessert imaginable, and they were all great:
Seafood Selection: 9
There’s a good variety of seafood in this place. They offer the chilled seafood towers, caviar, scallops, shellfish and crab cakes on the app menu. The three main seafood items on their entree menu looked nice too: lobster, salmon, and swordfish (the steak of the sea, as I call it). Cheers for putting a man’s fish on that menu!
Service: 9 (increased to 10)
No problems to report here, and equally no “stellar marks” moments to report. It was a regular meal that went smoothly, just the right pace, with friendly servers, bus boys and waitresses. On a second visit they treated us to a round of drinks and desserts for no apparent reason at all. Amazing.
Ambiance: 8 (updated to 10 after remodel)
I was hoping for a better atmosphere here, being that the place overlooks Columbus Circle and the corner of Central Park. Unfortunately only some of the seating overlooks that area. The restaurant is nicely lit and decorated, but the white table cloth atmosphere gives it a slightly more formal feel than I was looking for. Nothing wrong with that, but the crowd did seem a little older and stuffier.
I went back in for a burger. This double cheeseburger is only $16 on the bar menu. The burger itself is smothered in delicious, gooey American cheese, and topped with red onion jam and pickled jalapeños. It is damn near perfect, given its placement on a potato bun. Perhaps just a leaf or two of iceberg is all it needs.
The chips were way over-seasoned. My mouth is still sweating from eating them. I think lots of Old Bay or something similar. Heavily salted as well. Skip those unless you plan to suck down several beers to quench your thirst afterward.
PORTER HOUSE
Time Warner Center
10 Columbus Cir.
New York, NY 10019
Just a quick FYI about the format of this review. I was under the impression that this joint didn’t seek to be classified as a steakhouse. But now, everywhere I see this place mentioned in print, it is being called a steakhouse. SO I’ve taken my restaurant review and stuffed it into a steakhouse review format. That’s why it looks like a Walmart fatty stuffed into a runway model’s dress.
My wife surprised me with dinner here for Valentine’s Day.
What an incredible meal! We started with some cocktails. Gin martini for me, and some sort of sparkling apple drink for the wife.
A nice unexpected surprise was a pair of big popovers. These were pretty good, but not quite up to the standard set by BLT Prime. One was very airy and light, while the other had a crispy outer shell with a lop-sided, more dense, doughy bottom.
There were several items we wanted to try from the app menu, so we just ordered them all. First was the filet mignon tartare. This rivals the Quality Meats tartare. Easily one of the best in Manhattan. The plate was ringed with minced red onion, boiled egg whites and egg yolks. The beef itself was extremely soft and tender despite being hand cut. It was topped with a raw quail egg for that needed fat. So fucking good when spread onto the little waffle chips that came with the plate.
Next up was the bacon. These were nice and thick: we had a strip each. I’ve had better in other places, but this was an excellent way to chase that delicious tartare.
Our third starter was the oxtail and bone marrow French onion soup. This was really delicious and rich. The broth had such a nice flavor from all that beefy goodness. While I still like the French onion soup at Le Village better, this was an exciting, innovative take on what is frankly a boring item.
For my main course, I had this delicious, perfectly cooked bone-in rib eye steak. Aged prime all the way, people. So fucking good. Easily in my top steaks. The crust had a great sear. There was a slight amount of bleed-out, but it was not due to lack of rest. It was just juicy as fuck.
My wife had a halibut dish that was cooked with king crab for a nice flavor boost. I can see why they call this place Fish & Hunt – both the meat and the fish are spectacular and deserve to be featured prominently.
My wife and I basically said FUCK YOU to greens in this meal. Instead of sharing one healthy veggie side, we went with two unhealthy, starchy, carby veggies. First was horseradish mustard mashed potatoes. Really fucking tasty. The horseradish gave it a good kick in the balls.
The other was truffled tater tots. Holy shit these were decadent and earthy. They were cooked with truffle oil, and the creamy dip sauce that came with them had minced truffle in it as well. BOOM!
For dessert we shared a yogurt based panna cotta. While the texture was really not the kind you associate with panna cotta, this flavor was really light and delicious. It was creamy, airy from the berry foam on top, and it had an awesome crumble made from brown sugar on top. Then topped with some fresh berries. Fucking nice.
The bill came with a pair of freebie signature hibiscus vodka cocktails that tasted like adult fruit punch. I liked it. Also two golden boxes with chocolate candies inside. One was coffee dusted, and the other was salted dark chocolate truffle. REALLY rich and flavorful.
We ate like royalty in this place. Definitely worth trying despite a pricey total bill. Give it a shot!
UPDATES
The rib eye is still nearly perfect. Here are some updated pics:
I also tried the porterhouse, which was a solid 9/10.
I also tried the carpaccio, herb fries, bacon, brussels (with more bacon), and the carrot cake. Everything is great.
Flavor: 9 – very near to absolute perfection
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9 – could use a few more cut options. Quality is fantastic though.
Portion Size & Plating: 8 – steaks are a good size, but slightly thin, and certainly mismatched when looking at price.
Price: 8 – this is an expensive joint, but the rest must be expensive too.
Bar: 10 – great street-side drinking, elegant, fancy, and nicely decorated. Plus there’s another bar downstairs for more intimacy.
Specials & Other Meats: 9 – solid showing of alternative meats on the menu.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10 – everything we had was awesome here.
Seafood Selection: 10 – with a name like “Hunt & FISH Club” you expect no less. The presence of Alaskan King Crab as an entree is impressive.
Service: 8 – perhaps because we went on Valentine’s Day, which is super busy, we didn’t get the five-star treatment we expected.
Ambiance: 9 – very elegant and glamorous. I can understand why celebs have been flocking to this place.
HUNT & FISH CLUB
125 W. 44th St.
New York, NY 10036
This joint is right near my apartment, so it was just a matter of time before I wandered in. I’d been to the other Empire location a while back. It was okay; room for improvement there, but I still wanted to try this other location. I went with my wife for a quick dinner. Check it out:
Flavor: 8
I had the bone-in rib eye. It had a great sear and crust on the outside, and it was cooked to a nice medium-rare on the inside. There was not one drop of bleed-out, as the steak was properly rested before it was served. Aside from a bit of gristle in one spot, this was a great cut of beef. Better than the other location (which is now closed).
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Empire covers the basics in a plentiful way. They offer porterhouse for two, three, or four; ribeye; filet; strip; and even prime rib. To top it off there are veal and lamb chops too.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portions here are average to good. The creamed spinach is enough for two to share at $11. Even the creme brûlée dessert is probably big enough to share. At 22-24oz, the steak is a good size too.
Price: 8
Great prices here. Our bill was just over $100 because my wife didn’t have much of an appetite.
Bar: 10
This is a great bar to hang out in. The bar room itself is beautiful, but not only is the atmosphere cool, but they have over 400 different bottles of wine and over 100 different single malt scotches – not to mention a serious bourbon and cognac selection.
Specials and Other Meats: 9
The great thing about this place is their pre-dinner price fix menu. At $49 you get a soup or salad to start, then either a filet or strip with crab cake or grilled shrimp, a side of either broccoli or mashed potatoes, and dessert. Awesome. I will definitely be back here for that deal.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
Unfortunately, the chilled seafood platter missed the mark for us. The shrimp and lobster portions of the dish were just really bland and lacking in flavor. The lump crabmeat was excellent though. I noted the same problem in the review of the other location as well.
I had to drown it in their steak sauce to get some enjoyment out of it.
The creamed spinach was really good. It may have been a bit too salty, but I didn’t necessarily mind too much.
This creme brûlée is the best in the city. I’m serious. I’ve had them all over the place, and this shit was perfect. So creamy and light. Amazing texture and flavor, and just the right amount of broiled sugar on top.
Seafood Selection: 8
Aside from the chilled shellfish platter, I really can’t make an assessment on this here. The shrimp and lobster cocktail in that shellfish tower were just no good. Not rancid or “bad,” they just had no flavor whatsoever. It is my hope that, based on the greatness of the lump crabmeat, some of the other seafood selections are better. I recall liking the oysters a lot at the other location, so there’s that.
Service: 10
Our waiter, Tim, was awesome. We got to talking about cameras and photography when he noticed my camera, which he is currently in the market to get for himself. The rest of the staff were all very courteous and kind, and the service was FAST! We got our meal very quickly, and the servers were very happy to refill our plates with spinach and/or shellfish from the tower when we ran low. Decent bread basket, though not warm.
Ambiance: 7
This place was a little stale for me. I did like their private dining room, and loved the front of the house and bar, but the main dining hall was just lacking a little oomph for me. That said, does it really matter, as long as the food is good?
EMPIRE STEAKHOUSE
237 W. 54th St.
New York, NY 10019
Those are a few of the things I hear pretty regularly from people who follow the blog.
“Are you Bulimic? Do you spit the food out?”
“What’s your dieting trick? Atkins?”
Those are some questions I get from people who have only met me in the past few years and have seen my loss of weight.
I figured it was time to post an official response to these sorts of questions here for all to see. I guess the best thing to do is start at the beginning:
I was always a skinny dude growing up. In fact my whole family is skinny. We are those people that everyone hates: we can pretty much eat whatever we want, not work out or exercise, and stay skinny (the women in my family might beg to differ, but that’s just how broads are). My dad, at his fattest, was 122lbs after he quit smoking and retired. I came out of high school at about 115lbs, maybe 120lbs. Coming out of college, I was the biggest in the family. I was the tallest at 5′ 10″ and heaviest at about 150lbs (I grew taller in college, by about 4 inches). At the peak of my youth, I looked like this:
Feel free to mock this photo all you want. I do.
Then it all went to shit. After I graduated law school things changed. My life became sedentary with the beginning of my career, sitting at a computer desk for 8-12 hours at a pop. No walking around, no fun with friends playing sports, and I was NOT the working out or running type.
My mid to late 20s hit and suddenly 150lbs became 175lbs. I wasn’t too concerned at the time. It actually felt good to have a little meat on my bones. I felt normal around people instead of being “holy shit I can see your ribs” skinny. I had just met and fallen in love with my future wife. I was comfortable, and not looking to impress anyone. Girlfriend became fiancé, and fiancé became wife (and wife became Cake Dealer). Meanwhile the steakhouse quest had started, so 175lbs became 180lbs, and 180lbs became 185lbs, then 190lbs and 195lbs… you get the picture… And I also started losing my hair! That sucked. A bald spot meant it was time to take it all down and accept being hairless. That made me bald and getting fat. Eww. A horrible double whammy. I was becoming George Costanza.
A random visit to the doctor revealed that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and borderline diabetes. I was put onto some blood pressure meds for a few months while I tried to diet. The timing was good here (2008-2009) because my and my wife’s wedding was approaching. I was probably around 180-185lbs for the wedding, which was in April of 2009. I had lost 10-15lbs and was generally keeping it off.
The steakhouse quest was slowed if not halted. Until two things happened: (1) a trip to New Orleans, where all I wanted to do was eat and try everything in sight. Muffuletta sandwiches, beignets, gumbo, po’ boys and all that fantastic shit.
The diet was out the window at that point. Then, (2) we moved from NYC to Long Island after the wedding in the Summer of 2009. Three hours of my day had suddenly been sucked out of existence and lost to the horrors of the LIRR commute.
The first thing to go was home cooked meals. The last thing I wanted to do at 8:00pm when I got home from work was to cook a “sensible meal,” and then clean up afterward. By the time I finished eating and cleaning it would be close to 11:00pm, and my alarm was going off at 5:00am to catch a 6:09am train. Fuck that. Fuck ALL of it.
In my defiance of all things healthy, and with a raging middle finger held high to the LIRR, I re-started the quest for great steakhouses, all the while keeping notes and a list of places to go next. In April of 2011 I decided to put my notes into a blog format, and, eventually, here we are today.
But from mid-2009 to December 31, 2013 I was blowing up like a balloon. I never thought I could be a 200lb person, yet by the end of 2013 I was pushing fucking 220lbs! What a fat fucking bastard! I’d go up a flight or two of stairs and feel winded, my heart would race, and I felt weak. I was killing myself.
So I made a New Year’s resolution to lose some weight and get in shape. My target weight, at first, was 185lbs. At my heaviest I was 218lbs, so that meant a serious effort. I was looking at BMI (body mass index) calculators to see where someone my age, height, and activity level should be, and I was shocked. To get down to the high end of the acceptable BMI range for my frame, I needed to be about 175lbs. I didn’t think I’d get there, but I did. Here’s how:
I woke up early every morning to run on the treadmill. In the beginning I was going two miles in 20 minutes. Pathetic. Eventually I was doing three miles in 30 minutes, or switching off to do some stationary bike cycling to mix it up. Still a pretty bad pace, but at least I was going for longer. I did this every day, with the exception of weekends. Once the weather got nicer I was running outside. I liked this a shitload better than the treadmill. In fact, I found that my pace was quickening, and I was going for longer distances.
I also switched my diet up drastically. I was counting calories. In the beginning I was trying to keep it well under 2000 calories per day, that way I would get the ball rolling on the weight loss. I thought of the calories like money. I had $2000 in my wallet for each day. If a candy bar cost $300, was it worth it? Or would it be better to spend that $300 on fish and a veggie, getting more food for my dollar? Lunch was typically carrots and celery, raw, with hot sauce to dip. Or pre-portioned serving sizes of nuts, dried fruit, trail mix, etc. Other lunches included Greek yogurt, or simply cooked veggies (steamed with seasoning, or sautéed in garlic and oil).
For dinner, I tried to double the veggie portion and half the meat portion, and always tried to watch the number of calories and serving size. More chicken, fish, or lean meats. Less grains, fatty meats, sugars, breads and starch. High fiber, low calorie, low carbs. I was also eating slowly. Fiber tricks your body into thinking it’s full, and it takes 20 minutes for your brain to tell your stomach that it’s full. Eat slowly and get full before you gorge yourself. Otherwise, that’s how over-eating happens.
Portion control was key though. If I needed a snack, I was hitting on nuts, dried fruit, yogurt or an occasional Fiber One snack bar – ALWAYS in the proper portion size as per the nutritional labels, and keeping my daily intake under 2000 calories. I tried to limit myself to two snacks per day: one between lunch and dinner, and one after dinner if necessary.
It was fucking tough. I was irritable at first. But I banged it out, and lost a shitload of weight in the first month; something like 25lbs. I kept this diet and exercise routine up for three or four months without changing too much up. If I ate a larger dinner, sometimes I would double up on my running for the day to shave off some of the extra calories out of pure guilt. This is analogous to working overtime to earn a little extra calorie dollars to spend.
Suddenly I was down 40lbs in four months. That meant I could normalize my diet a bit and just focus on maintaining weight instead of losing. I had hit my initial target, pretty much, but part of me wanted to push it more, to get into that “BMI” range of health and fitness. I still kept my lunches light, but dinner was pretty much a free for all (yay for steaks!). I didn’t do much snacking, but when I did, I tried to make sure I don’t go overboard.
The final pounds were the slowest to come off. My wife and I moved back to the city in the summer of 2014, so I continued my running in Central Park. Eventually I upped the daily average to five miles a day, typically in about 37-40 minutes, and only taking one day off per week instead of two. I was burning more calories, and occasionally doing ten mile runs (once a week) or even half marathons (once a month). That meant I could eat more (more calorie $$$ to spend each day), yet I was still losing weight. PERFECT! I shed even more weight. I donated all of my fat-guy clothes to charity, and broke out some of my older, skinny-guy clothing, as well as picked up some new stuff. I went from a 37 inch waist to a 32.
LEFT: me on 12/21/13. RIGHT: me on 12/25/14.
I currently fluctuate in my daily weight between about 168lbs and 173lbs (generally we are lighter in the mornings). So I’m down about 50lbs from the start! I still weigh myself several times per day. Constantly knowing what I weigh is important to me, because it helps me manage my weight. I’m in the proper BMI range, and I’m in the best physical shape of my life. I place no restrictions on my dinner meals. I still keep to a light lunch, unless I plan on burning more calories with a longer run that day. Snacking is still generally kept to a minimum, but I am not afraid to partake. All I do now is run and watch my lunch and snack intake, and I can eat anything I want for dinner. If I can do it, anyone can.
So what do you call this “diet” that I followed? I don’t know. It’s part Atkins, part “paleo,” part portion control and lots of good old fashioned exercise.
As for my cholesterol, I don’t know. Back in my fat-guy days, it was 169 for LDL and 259 total. As of February of 2014, which was only two months into my diet, it was down to 126 for LDL and 205 total. Improvement. No idea what it is now; hopefully much better. But I couldn’t care less.
This place grabbed my attention when I saw the meat in their window as I walked by.
The “Italian Steakhouse” concept has been picking up momentum lately, with places like Costata, Quality Italian and Il Mulino Prime developing lots of buzz. I had to try it. Plus is it just down the street from our apartment.
Flavor: 5
My steak was a little bit on the bland side unfortunately. It was cooked perfectly, and my compliments to the chef for a wonderful sear, but I think it was under-seasoned and just didn’t have some of the oomph that some other places nearby have. It was served on a hot plate that smelled deliciously of butter.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 6
The cuts in the window looked fantastic, so I will have to be kind in this section, despite my steak being a bit gristled and fatty. I love a good rib eye that has soft, jelly-like fat, but my cut was laced with some of the more tough to eat ribbons of fat. A shame too, because it was indeed cooked so beautifully. They do offer all the basic steak cuts though: porterhouse, strip, filet and rib eye.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portions here are just right. Not too much, not too little. You’ll go home full, and the plating is simple and basic, clean, neat, and without pretense.
Price: 5
I felt that the price was a bit high given the fact that my steak was not up to snuff. At $52 I expect near perfection. My wife’s chicken dish was fairly priced, however, as were the rest of the items we ordered. We stayed away from the appetizers though, as they seemed a little steep as well.
Bar: 7
This joint has a very cool bar area. With brick arches and columns to split it away from the main dining areas, you feel like you are in a cozy neighborhood spot. There’s also live music near the main entrance and bar area too, so it makes for a nice place to have a drink.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
There were no specials read to us, but as far as other meats go, they did offer an ossobuco dish, and various veal, chicken and lamb preparations: a solid showing. My wife had Cornish Hen, which was really nice. Crispy skin, juicy meat all over (even the tits), and a nice rosemary wine flavor pairing. The only down side to her dish was that the broccoli rabe it was served with was not seasoned (needed salt).
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6
We started with just a single slice of Canadian bacon (aka ham). It was nice, just maybe needed a sauce to pair with it.
We also did a side of sautéed spinach. This was really nice. Smelled really fresh, tasted of garlic and oil, and was generous in size.
For dessert we tried the tiramisu. This was okay. It wasn’t boozy, and it was nice and soft in texture, but the top was covered in what tasted like frozen cool ship cake frosting. That was a little off-putting but otherwise it was enjoyed.
Seafood Selection: 9
There’s lots to choose from here for seafood. They have a ton of nice shellfish on the app menu, along with smoked salmon (which was very tempting). For entrees they offer fresh lobster, lobster tails, salmon, sea bass, tuna, shrimp and even a whole roasted fish of the day. Nice! I can’t, in good conscience, give full points though since I didn’t get a chance to try any of it.
Service: 8
I thought our service was a bit on the slow side for a party of two. To Ninos’ defense, though, the place was really busy, so I can’t fault them for that. I’m happy to see businesses keeping busy and having a full house. Also the manager Benny was really friendly, well-dressed, and had a great table side manner. Everyone was pleasant and nice, and even the table bread was pretty good, served with a bowl of olive oil and olives.
Ambiance: 6
This place has a nice cozy, warm feel to it. A winter’s night was the perfect time for us to come, I think. The musician was playing a mix of Christmas music and Sinatra style favorites, and a few couples had even gotten up to dance for a song or two. Very nice.
NYC has seen a recent spike in high end, good quality Kosher restaurants, particularly of the steakhouse variety. I’m talking about places like Prime at The Bentley Hotel on the east side, and Prime KO (Japanese inspired) and Talia’s on the west side. Shit, even Strip House offers a Kosher steak on the menu in midtown. I was intrigued by some of the things my buddy was telling me while we chomped away on the tasty Kosher beef at Prime at The Bentley Hotel. He now keeps Kosher, and he knows I’m a steak man, so a Kosher steakhouse was naturally a perfect fit for this bro-date. I had always thought to myself that Kosher simply meant a Rabbi had to bless the slaughter according to a specific process, and of course the prohibition on certain foods, but there’s much more to it than that. I have to hand it to those who make the effort to keep Kosher. I applaud your willpower and your dedication. I’d have serious trouble with several of these. Read on to get the basic Johnny Prime primer on what Kosher looks like through the eyes of a meat-loving gentile.
Clean Animals vs Unclean Animals
An animal is considered clean, and therefore okay to eat, if it “chews the cud” and has a cloven hoof. That means no pigs, rabbits, squirrels, bears, camels, elephants, etc., among others. Wait, wait, wait a second, Moishe… no pigs? EVER? Yeah, that’s right. NO PORK, which means NO BACON! Which means NO FUN! I kid. Beef bacon is a really fucking nice alternative, and so is duck bacon.
Ritual Slaughter Shechita is the method by which the slaughterer severs the jugular vein, carotid artery, esophagus, and trachea in a single continuous motion with an un-serrated knife. Think Patrick Bateman.
Then the carcass is checked for diseases and injuries to make sure it wasn’t going to die within a year, which would make the meat unsuitable. It is forbidden to consume certain parts of the animal, such as certain fats and the sciatic nerves from the legs. As much blood as possible must be removed, but blood inside the meat is okay – YAY FOR MEDIUM RARE! However only the fore-quarter of the animal is used (front). That means no loin/short loin, flank, sirloin, or rump. Dayummm!
“Winged Creatures”
No bats, birds that eat fish, or birds of prey. More Patrick Bateman, I mean Bruce Wayne, references.
“Creeping Things”
No bugs other than locusts or whatever may be living inside a fruit. I immediately wondered if this included fungus, mold or bacteria. If so, that would be bad news for the aging process of beef, and anything with mushrooms or truffles. The answer is that those are all okay. Whew!
Meat & Cheese Combo
No Meat & Cheese together – DOH! But you CAN have cheese either 1 or 6 hours (depending on how safe you want to be about it) before eating the meat – just don’t mix. Apparently you can’t have the meat before the cheese, because the meat takes longer to digest and will ultimately be mixing with the cheese in your gullet. So get cheese in the app, not in the dessert. Biggest problem here: NOOOOO CHEESEBURGERRRRS, MAAAAAAN!
Shrimp? Oysters? Clams? LOBSTER?!??
Of course, the Bible says no Shellfish – DOH!
“Torn by Beasts”
Another interesting item for discussion is how the Good Book also says that people shouldn’t eat already-dead animals that have been partially eaten by other animals. I’d say it’s probably a good idea to avoid carrion anyway. I suppose there should be exceptions for starving people wandering through the dessert, like Bear Grylls.
But the upside is that it looks like Moses was wise enough to bring some non-perishables with him on that whole Exodus thing. Yes… Twinkies are apparently Kosher.
Serious photo credit goes to The Internet on this post. I’m not that funny. These images, however, are. The drawing at the top of the page was done by my brother. You can see more of his sick artwork at DeviantArt.
A buddy of mine who keeps Kosher suggested that I try this place with him. I didn’t really know what to expect when it came to Kosher meats. It turns out to be every bit as awesome as regular meat.
This place is a pop-up at the hotel, and not 100% steak house per se, though you certainly get that feel from looking at the menu. Also, we came in for a quick bite at the bar – just entrees – so I feel like I can’t give this place the full JP review with all 10 categories just yet. For now, I will stick to the meat and booze.
I sank my teeth into a nice juicy 10-spice prime rib eye. It had a psychotic crust on it that locked in all the great juices. It was nicely cooked to a medium rare / medium temperature (though the flash photo kind of drowns out the color). Fries were nice too, with a sort-of cajun seasoning mix on them. 8/10.
My buddy had the roasted chicken, which was really tender and juicy through and through. Nicely prepared.
Jules, bartender mixed a fucking great martini, and had excellent suggestions in terms of the food choices. Only down side at the bar was that the cable in the joint didn’t broadcast all the necessary sports channels, so we couldn’t watch the end of the Rangers game that my buddy wanted to catch. Nice windows and beautiful view of the city from in here too.
Here’s the damage – not too bad at all: likely because Jules hooked us up with a round of drinks, which was totally unexpected and awesome. Thanks, brother.
PRIME AT THE BENTLEY HOTEL
500 E. 62nd St.
New York, NY 10065
Morton’s was one of my top three favorite steakhouses in NYC, but things have changed since I started reviewing so many places.
EDITS IN ITALICS from updated review, 11/1/14
Flavor: 9
I’ve been to Morton’s twice, and both times I was extremely pleased with the flavor. They seem to cherish the meat, and they know just how to prepare it to maximize and enhance the natural flavor of the beef. I’ve tried the rib eye, the NY strip, and the filet. I think my wife liked the filet Oskar, an interesting preparation of the filet.
Here are some shots of the 22oz Chicago bone-in rib eye – perfectly cooked, very juicy. The only issue was that there was a bit of bleed-out, and the steak had a wet appearance, as if not seared hot enough or rubbed with enough spice to form a crust.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
The main four cuts (strip, filet, porterhouse, and ribeye) are all represented on the basic menu, however they really only offer those four in terms of beef, varying them slightly in size to accomodate different appetites (double cut, single cut, petit cuts). Other meats are represented, like lamb, but no other types of beef. Only the ribeye and the porterhouse are offered on the bone (though their website pictures a bone-in “Kansas City” steak, which is another name for a NY Strip). This is common, since strips and filets are usually separated from the bone in order to serve them as individual cuts. I haven’t been here enough to assess whether they offer specials often, or vary the cuts. However I am giving it a high rating because the quality of the meats offered is exceptional, and everything is prime grade.
I noticed on this visit that they had a short rib to offer as well. Nice showing!
Portion Size & Plating: 8
The portions are average in size, but the great thing is that there is something from each cut of meat to suit every size appetite. Plating is basic – nothing fancy.
Price: 10
Both times my wife and I have gone to Morton’s it was during an awesome promotional period where they were offering a $50/pp prix fix menu. Portion size for the entrees and appetizers were the same as normal menu items; I think there was just a slight surcharge for the filet or the lobster, which is reasonable, and we were limited slightly on which desserts and appetizers we could choose from. Well worth the money for this kind of quality and flavor.
This visit they offered a $35 three course price fix menu. What a steal! The filet was only 6oz, but it was deliciously cilantro-ish in flavor. I liked it (had a bite of someone’s).
Bar: 9
Morton’s has a really nice big bar. This is the kind of swanky, old-school place to go for some sazeracs, slow gin fizzes, and pimm’s cups. It harks back to 1920’s elegance. I don’t recall if there are TVs, but if so, this is the kind of place to go watch the Belmont Stakes if you can’t get out to the track.
Situated along the sidewalk, the bar/lounge area is great for people watching as well. They even offer some happy hour and late night food and drink discounts. One of these days I will make it over there to try a burger at the bar. They also mix a great martini and stuff their olives with blue cheese:
Specials and Other Meats: 8
Other than beef, Morton’s really only offers lamb and chicken. This is normal for steakhouses, since the main focus is on red meat. Morton’s strikes me as the kind of place, however, that could execute a good double cut pork chop as well, perhaps roasted or boiled with whole fresh cherry peppers; something robust and bold. They offer specials off-menu with regularity as well.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
For appetizers, Morton’s offers typical steakhouse style shellfish items. We had bacon wrapped scallops, which were fine, but not amazing (the scallops were cooked properly, but the bacon wasn’t crispy enough for my liking). We enjoyed the shrimp alexander, however. The crabcake was above average, and I vaguely recall my wife trying the 5-onion soup and liking it very much. Sides and desserts were average to above average. We were slightly limited in what we could choose since we were eating off of a prix fix menu, so I have not deducted points based on an incomplete review. I would imagine the Oysters Rockefeller are wonderful.
On this visit we tried the escargot to share. They were great, buttery yet light, and no funky taste – better than the ones I tried at Les Halles downtown.
Next up was my “salad” of sliced beefsteak tomatoes and blue cheese. Part crumble and part dressing, this was a nice way to open up the meal:
My wife had a cup of the five onion soup with her $35 price fix deal. I tried thinking of five different onions in my head but not sure if shallot counts as an onion. This was great, by the way. Really flavorful but not too salty like many onion soups can be. Deftly prepared.
Here’s a shot of the Caesar salad that came with our cousin’s $35 price fix – nice touch with the shaved cheese on top:
The price fix entrees came as a composed dish with a small side as well. My wife chose the horseradish garlic mashed potato item, but I didnt like it so much. I didn’t taste any horseradish, and the texture wasn’t creamy enough.
However the side I ordered was sautéed spinach with button mushrooms. I originally wanted to try the creamed spinach again, but they were out! WHAT?!??! We surmised that it must be a pre-prepared item of some kind, or they simply ran out of the right cheese and cream. Bummer. But this was really good anyway.
For dessert I tried some of the ladies’ price fix items. Key lime pie was creamy and smooth with no bitter aftertaste, on a great graham cracker crust. The mousse was nice too, but I’ve had better.
Seafood Selection: 9
I’ve never tried Morton’s seafood entrees, but they offer salmon, sea bass, and a few basic variations of both lobster and shrimp.
I tried a bite of my wife’s salmon entree and I was blown away by how good it was, so I bumped the score up a bit here. It was a perfect medium rare, very flavorful and juicy, and a great portion size for the $35 price fix.
Service: 9
The staff at Morton’s are trained to display sample cuts of beef to every table before patrons order their meals. While you are snacking on the delicious onion rolls in the basket of table breads, the waiters will come by and explain each cut of beef, physically pointing at the meats under plastic wrap on a display platter. Drink refills and general attentiveness was great, as expected. Occasionally my wife and I will make birthday or anniversary reservations online, and, if you tell Morton’s it is your birthday or anniversary, they will do something special. On out first visit, for an anniversary, they had a photographer come by and snap our photo, which they then gave to us in a cardboard “Morton’s” frame. On the second trip, also for an anniversary (a year later), they printed a special menu with our names on top, and gave us a complimentary cake dessert.
The bread basket switched to a large loaf of warm onion bread, with a line of soft creamy butter. Also, there was no longer a display plate of the steaks. I liked that bit of service professionalism. Oh well.
Ambiance: 7
Morton’s definitely has a 1920’s feel to it when you step inside. It is set up with a large, high-ceiling, art-deco inspired dining room on the main floor, which features the impressive bar. In the rear there is a stairway to a smaller elevated dining room that overlooks the main dining room. Walls in both areas contain authentic photos of famous people who have eaten there. The crowd is a mix of tourists, businessmen, and Manhattanites. Bathrooms, flatware, and silverware are clean, and the music is a mix of jazz and typical dinner music.
While the layout is still the same, the photos are gone now and were replaced by a trippy, squiggly, semi-modern wall paper. I liked the old decor a bit better so took a point away here on the re-review. In any event it is still a very cool space.
