Category Archives: Burgers

Jonny Panini

I was never really a big fan of the panini as a possible sandwich substitute, until now. As you can imagine, I’m kind of an old fashioned dude. I like my meat and cheese slapped between the bread of a potato bun or hero roll, rather than squished down and toasted. After all, I like to preserve the sanctity of the inside of my mouth, sans cuts and scrapes, and avoid getting ripped to shreds in there from hard, crispy bread. French bread, for example. I love it to death, but as a sandwich bread it is borderline awful (maybe with the exception of a Cuban or Banh Mi). Paninis always just fell into that realm for me. “It’s toasted and crispy, so it will probably rip my mouth apart.” That was the inner monologue.

Enter Jonny Panini to change my mind. This joint makes amazing panini bread that has a supple softness inside to complement the outer crisped and toasted exterior. It’s almost like a thin version of focaccia bread, or even like a pizza crust. My panini mouth cut fears are now significantly abated.

Add to that a plethora of fine, quality Italian ingredients – like aged cheeses, fresh tomatoes, bright greens and top notch prosciutto – and you have the makings of some of the best panini sandwiches this city has to offer.

Jonny himself has decades of experience in the restaurant business. He meets his customers with a warm, vivacious and friendly personality. He exudes passion for his food, and it permeates the establishment. You feel like you’ve known Jonny all your life when you speak to him, and he knows you as well. He truly does; at least as far as your taste buds are concerned.

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His menu of 18 panini sandwiches are static items that can not be swapped around or substituted. Oh, did you want the balsamic reduction on your #3 but it’s only offered on #1? Too bad. It’s on #1 and not #3 for a reason, and when you try #3 you’ll know it’s not meant to be there. That’s the kind of knowledge I’m talking about. And confidence. Jonny knows what works. Trust him. I did.

I came in with a gang of foodies for a special press tasting, so we tried a few things:

#1: Prosciutto e Mozzarella Panini ($13)
Prosciutto, mozzarella, arugula, shaved parmigiano and tomato with a balsamic reduction. This was my favorite of the three paninis we tried. It just really popped for me.

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#2: Prosciutto e Provolone Panini ($11)
Prosciutto, sharp provolone cheese, tomato and lettuce with house made basil pesto. Jonny makes the pesto authentic to how his kin made it back in Italy. Family secret!

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#9: Turkey e Avocado Panini ($11)
This is the only panini that isn’t pressed, toasted and heated. Why? Because Jonny doesn’t want to ruin the avocado. Smart, and like I said above: Trust in Jonny’s expertise. I do hate warm avocado, as a matter of fact. Anyway, the sandwich contains turkey, lettuce, tomato and avocado with a jalapeno aioli.

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The Prosciurger
The first of it’s kind, the Prosciurger is Jonny’s trademarked burger patty, which is made entirely from ground prosciutto, mortadella and ham. It’s topped with juicy tomato, crisp lettuce, fresh melted mozzarella and an aioli that is to die for – all sandwiched in a soft, yet sturdy, pretzel bun.

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I was a little worried that the texture of the patty would be rubbery and snappy, almost like a sausage or ham steak, but it wasn’t. It really had a decent crumble and savory bite to it. And it wasn’t overly salty, as one might expect with a patty made entirely from prosciutto and cured meats. It was just right.

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Absolute heaven. I highly recommend this unique and inventive burger. Go get it now!

JONNY PANINI’S
493A 9th Avenue
New York, NY 10018

Jimbo’s Restaurant & Bar

Jimbo’s is a spacious neighborhood Greek bar and restaurant in Astoria, right near the Astoria Blvd subway stop. Inside there’s a nice long bar that serves up all the standard favorites, along with some Greek specialty cocktails, like Ouzo lemonade, which is a must try. From what I understand, some nights they have live music and dancing, late into the wee hours, 11pm-4am.

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Large door-style windows grace the street-side of the joint, which open up nice and big on sunny days – a real treat for the tables situated along the window. We saw a rainbow after a downpour.

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With a focus on fresh ingredients, Jimbo’s serves up some really nice cold spreads for snacking with pita bread at the start of your meal. We tried a trio with a salmon caviar spread, tzatziki and a potato spread.

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All were excellent, but the standout was probably the caviar spread. It was fluffy, light and had a natural brine flavor from the roe. This is a great deal for $10 and the amount that you get.

Speaking of good deals, appetizer portions are massive here, so be warned! We tried the grilled octopus and grilled sausage apps, and by time we were ready to receive the entrees, we were almost at full capacity. In fact we had to take some of the sausage home!

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The sausage was really excellent. It almost reminded me of blood sausage at times, but without the mealy texture that you can sometimes experience with that. It was spiced with really aromatic stuff like cumin, and had a robust and perfectly grilled earthy flavor. I would even love this chopped up a bit finer and served in a pita with tzatziki, cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce. Perfection. Perhaps that item would be a nice fit for the lunch menu?

Jimbo’s offers a really interesting Greek burger on a pita with melted feta, which I had ordered, but I think that is really only offered on the weekend brunch menu. So instead I was served a standard burger with fries. I added some tzatziki on top from the cold spreads to boost it up a bit, since it didn’t have cheese.

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My wife had this really nice baked casserole dish with lamb and orzo called Arni Youvesti.

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It comes with a dish of grated parmesan cheese for the top, which is key, because it adds the necessary salt element into the dish. My advice is to pour it all in! The lamb was cooked perfectly. It was extremely tender and the meat was high quality.

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And the orzo underneath was a nice way to make this into a hearty stew. The pasta really took on the flavor of the tasty tomato sauce.

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Another enticing dish on the casserole menu is Arni Kleftiko, which is lamb with potatoes, herbs and lemon in extra virgin olive oil. Unfortunately, they did not have this available when we came for dinner, but I’d definitely try that on another trip.

The dessert menu also has some great looking items. In particular, Loukoumades, which is lightly fried dough served with honey and cinnamon: Greek zeppoles. And Galaktobouriko, which is baked Greek custard cream in phyllo dough and honey syrup. They were out of Loukoumades, and we initially planned to get that and Galaktobouriko. But after our entrees, we were too stuffed to even think about dessert! Next time we will know to manage the large portions a little more carefully so that we have room for dessert and Greek coffee.

FYI: Jimbo’s served us a free meal in exchange for an honest review.

JIMBO’S RESTAURANT & BAR
3005 Astoria Blvd
Astoria, NY 11102

Beautique

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS CLOSED

As usual my bargain hunter wife found a nice Gilt City deal for a three course meal for two here at Beautique.

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It included two drinks per person, which is unusually generous.

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Apparently the place turns into a sugar daddy lounge after like 9pm, where young girls try to score rich older men (according to reviews I’ve seen online). We went at 6pm, so there wasn’t too much of that going on at that time.

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I wasn’t expecting much given that lounge atmosphere. As it turned out, the food was pretty great. So let’s get down to business.

I started with a red an yellow beet salad. Beets are all the rage these days. They were a little more stiff here than at other places, and cut into rustic chunks rather than thinner slices. But they retained a more natural flavor as a result. They were dressed with pistachio nuts, yogurt, lemon and rosemary.

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My wife ordered the Beautique salad, which was radicchio, pear, gorgonzola and walnuts. This was a bit bitter for my taste, but the ingredients were all fresh, crisp and high quality.

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For my entree, I had the hanger steak. This was super tender and cooked to a perfect medium rare. I was expecting some chew to this but every bite was extremely soft and had a good char on the outside. This would be 10 out of 10 if it weren’t for a slight lack of salt on that crust. But otherwise this was incredible.

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It was served with a peppery gravy and on top of a bed of sweet corn and mushrooms.

My wife went with the branzino. This was plated beautifully.

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As you can see, the skin was crisp and well seasoned. The meat was cooked just right, and it was served on top of some potatoes, tomatoes, baby leeks and artichoke in a rosemary sauce.

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For dessert, we had cheesecake with oreo ice cream. The ice cream was awesome. It was super flavorful and almost fudgey, but without being overly sweet. The cheesecake had a nice thick, but not heavy, consistency, however the cracker crust was too hard to get through with a fork. It may have been a peanut brittle type of thing, because it didn’t taste like graham cracker.

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Overall this was a great deal, especial given the fact that my wife paid much less than the asking price due to coupons and other shit like that. If it is still available by time you read this, I recommend trying it out.

UPDATE 9/16/16

My wife and I went back with another Gilt City deal to try a few different menu items and see how well this joint has been holding up. I think we went with better choices the first time around, because this time wasn’t as good as we remembered.

We started with the duck wonton tacos. The sauce on them tasted like McDonald’s BBQ sauce. Nothing wrong with that except that it seemed to clash with the asian toppings. Also there was a strange flavor that reminded me of the scent of wet dog.

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The other app was tune tartare. This was a bit lacking in flavor and a bit small and uninspired in the presentation.

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For my entree, I went with the burger. The menu said there were brandied onions on it, but I didn’t find any. The tomato was cut way too thick, but the bacon was nice and crisp. Also the cheese didn’t taste like gruyere either, as mentioned on the menu. It was cooked perfectly, however, the the rosemary fries were awesome.

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My wife had the roasted chicken. This, too, was a bit small. Luckily it wasn’t dry and the skin on it was deliciously crisp and well seasoned.

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Beautique really shined with the desserts, which took forever to come out because the place was starting to get jammed. First was cheesecake with oreo ice cream (same as last time) with strawberry and mango sauce.

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Next was chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream and caramel popcorn. I usually dislike lava cake, but this was really soft like a brownie, and the fudgey melty stuff inside was tasty.

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BEAUTIQUE
8 W. 58th St.
New York, NY 10019

Burke & Wills

I’ve only ever been to two or three Australian joints in my day, so I jumped at the opportunity to check this place out with Jay from The Dishelin Guide. When he asked if I was interested in going with him for a press review, I was psyched. Aussie joints always offer the possibility of trying exotic meats, and, as you can imagine, the prospect of something like that gets my juices flowing.

In the case of Burke & Wills, you can find a kangaroo meat burger on their daily lunch and dinner menus. Since we came in for brunch on the weekend, however, we were in for a different treat involving ‘roo meat: a traditional meat pie.

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Meat pies are pretty much street food and walking around food in Australia, but this version is served like a pot-pie, not hand food. It comes on a bed of English pea puree with mixed baby greens and a tomato jam. As for kangaroo meat, which is slightly gamey and very lean, it’s about as common on menus as venison here in the States.

Okay wait a second… before I get into more of the food I have to talk about the customizable Bloody Mary menu here.

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Our waitress recommended the exact combination that I was thinking of ordering, so I took that as a sign. This ended up being one of the best bloodies I’ve ever had. Kaffir-lime salted rim, Citadel gin, far east mix (sri racha for the spice element) and the deluxe skewer.

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Okay so where was I… Right; kangaroo meat. The brunch menu swaps out kangaroo in the burger for a standard beef burger, however there’s nothing else that’s standard about this particular burger other than the beef.

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It comes topped with lettuce, tomato, bacon, cheese, onion, pineapple, pickled beets and a fried egg. It really is an amazing combination of flavors that I never expected to work well together. The meat is high quality, cooked nicely, and all the various toppings really make it a juicy and satisfying meal.

Aside from tasting good, this burger was really beautiful.

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For the reasonable cost of $16, this stack of breakfast food and beef also comes with triple fried “chips,” which are what other people from across the various ponds call French fries. What we call chips, here, are called “crisps” over there. Hey, I’m not judging… just informing you ignorant bastards out there.

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The fries (yes, I will continue to call them fries because I’m American and that’s what we do) are thick, almost like potato wedges. They’re blanched several times at various temperatures and then fried multiple times. The end result is a super crisp outside and a mashed-potato-esque interior. Really nice. And they come with a deliciously unique harissa-based dipping sauce to boot.

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Another feature of the brunch menu is the ever present and highly trendy “elevated toast” offering. This particular one, however, was not some dainty piece of bread smeared with a little bit of avocado and then topped with a slice of tomato. No. This was a nice thick slice of toasty grilled bread as a base, with a generous amount of avocado as the next layer, to serve as a bed for what was essentially an entire salad of micro greens, tomato, frisee and pickled onions on top. And there was a LOT of awesome feta cheese on there. In fact, that was the bulk of it! I think I might have changed my mind about this toast food trend because of this dish. It was filling and satisfying, yet also light. Perfect for brunch on the weekend, especially with a bloody beside it.

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For dessert, we had doughnuts and coffee.

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These hot and sweet babies come with two dipping sauces; dolce de leche and chocolate. Both are fantastic.

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I definitely recommend coming here for brunch in the back room, which is like a greenhouse:

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If you’re not into brunch, then you should at least come in and try a bloody at the bar up front.

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BURKE & WILLS
226 W 79th St
New York, NY 10024

Bo Caphe

Vietnamese food is a tough nut to crack in NYC. Most of it sucks here, and the few places that people rave about just don’t really do it for me. I’ve been to places where they get one dish right, but fail on others. They have a great sandwich, but the soup in bland. You can literally go to almost any other city in America and find better Vietnamese food than you can in NYC, which baffles the living shit out of me. New York is the best at everything, so why not Vietnamese food? Who knows. The answer eludes me. Maybe the Vietnamese community just isn’t big enough here, or there aren’t enough courageous Vietnamese chefs that are willing to stretch their neck out and take a financial risk in the highly competitive and quick-to-closure NYC restaurant scene.

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Goddess Kali: house sake, sparkling wine, chia seeds, hibiscus, lemon and pineapple.

In any case, Bo Caphe isn’t like those lame joints that attempt to offer traditional Vietnamese food and then fail to deliver because there is not one single Vietnamese person on staff who would know how to make the dishes. Bo Caphe is embracing the non-traditional by proudly offering fusion dishes that you can get excited about, like the Bao Burger with taro chips.

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The burger had a nice char on the outside, with what seemed like diced onions mixed into the grind. It was juicy, and the steamed bun was the perfect Asian version of a soft and pliable yet strong potato bun. The addition of cilantro and green pepper sauce made it pop. The taro chips were a nice touch as well. They were thin, crisp, well seasoned and only occasionally greasy.

Being a French-Vietnamese fusion restaurant is nothing too outside the box, since binding the two cultures makes sense from a historical/colonial perspective. But Bo Caphe dives a bit further into French territory by offering a few selections that feature cheese, something largely not featured in Vietnamese cuisine, let alone Asian cuisine generally. Both the spring roll menu and bun menu featured cheese. The spring roll item, Vach Kiri, which literally translates to “laughing cow,” is a fried rice paper wrapper that’s filled with cheese and quinoa.

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The fried chicken bun had some goat cheese. I enjoyed it, as it added a different texture and flavor combination to compliment the pickled carrots and daikon on top, but I can see how this might not be everyone’s cup of tea.

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The braised beef bun, on the other hand, was pretty straight forward and delicious. No cheese that I could taste. And while I was eating this one I remarked that I was surprised the Bao Burger didn’t feature any cheese. Of all places to have it, that seems like the most proper fit for cheese in Asian cuisine.

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The noodles here were fantastic. We tried two styles: one was cooked lemongrass beef, and the other was raw diced salmon. The salmon dish was reminiscent of a poke bowl but with noodles and fish sauce for dressing rather than soy-based sauces. It was refreshing and tasty.

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The lemongrass beef was my favorite of the two. The beef was really tender and packed with great lemongrass flavor and aromas.

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Both noodle dishes were topped with peanuts, shredded carrot and cucumber, fresh mint and a veggie spring roll.

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The next two dishes we tried run the gamut from traditional Vietnamese to traditional French. No real fusion here; two dishes in the style of two different countries. The first, of course, is pho.

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This aromatic, comforting soup is not bad for NYC pho, but my wife and I are just spoiled by the soups we had up in the mountains of SaPa in Vietnam. Nothing can compare. In any case, if you need a fix, this is not a bad bowl. The noodles are slightly different than the usual flat style (these are square spaghetti shaped, like “alla chitarra”), but the aromas are great and they use cilantro, which is what we saw in Vietnam fairly often. If you dress this bowl up with some hoisin and sriracha, you should be good.

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The second dish is a marinated skirt steak with salad.

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The steak was largely French-inspired, even down to the mustard seed sauce (which I liked very much). The steak was a bit over-cooked for my liking, but it packed a lot of flavor and was charred nicely on the outside. I’d order it again, for sure. 7/10.

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The watercress salad featured some nice ripe avocados, tomatoes and red onions.

The dessert menu has some interesting selections. First was a molten chocolate lava cake with coconut. The lava wasn’t very melty, but the sauce that came with it was delicious. The coconut here was similar to the inside of a mounds chocolate candy bar.

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This black sesame ice cream was more like a cream ice of shave ice texture and flavor; light, refreshing, icy rather than creamy. It was delicious, especially with the toasted sesame seeds on top.

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This next dessert was an interesting take on the avocado shakes that I love to get from Vietnamese restaurants. This was a chocolate avocado mousse. You could taste equally the avocado and the chocolate, which was a flavor combination that I never thought or expected to like. It was great!

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The only down side was that they didn’t have the spicy pineapple, sumac and mint salad dessert item. I was really looking forward to trying that out. Also just FYI: I was invited to this joint as an “influencer” – basically free food in exchange for pics and an honest review. So there it is.

BO CAPHE
222 Lafayette St
New York, NY 10012

Malt House (FiDi)

You may recall my recent review of Malt House in the West Village. Well, the other day I was invited to the downtown location for another press review. I have to say, as Chef Armando (formerly of STK and Five Napkin Burger) has become more comfortable in his role as Executive Chef, he has really elevated the level of food.

At the time of the West Village review, he was relatively new at Malt House. The food was good, but it had a different feel than the food I tried at the FiDi location. While both restaurants do share a similar menu, Armando brings a bit more of his personal touch to the FiDi menu. Here, Armando is more clearly elevating standard pub food to quality restaurant dining. Take my favorite dish of the evening, for instance: the artichoke and crab dip with crispy fried plantains.

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Every pub, Friday’s and Applebee’s offers something like this with tortilla chips. But Armando has removed the grossly oily and heavy texture that is so common with these dips – often laden with insanely salty cheeses and prickly, woody bits from the wrong part of the artichoke – and replaced it with a velvety smooth, light and extremely satisfying indulgence that is topped with succulent, high quality crab meat. The plantains – as opposed to tortilla chips – come with a thicker crisp as well, and they add a higher quality, more complimentary crunch element to balance with the creamy dip.

If my yammering about artichoke dip doesn’t quite convince you that this place is more than just pub food, just take a look at this gorgeous pan roasted chicken dish.

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Do you expect to see this at a bar? Of course not. That’s why I’m making a point of saying that this is real restaurant dining. That chicken dish comes with mashed potatoes, sauteed kale, mushrooms and au jus, by the way.

And as you might expect from a burger at a fine dining joint, plain old ground beef simply won’t cut the mustard. This location features wagyu beef in the grind. But that’s not where it ends. It also boasts hickory smoked bacon, a pesto aioli and Bibb lettuce on a brioche bun, with your choice of cheese, of course. But the kicker is something so simple that it’s brilliant: a slice of oven roasted tomato that just melts right into the burger to become a natural ketchup when you bite down on it. Amazing.

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Armando is also keeping things a bit more seasonal and market fresh at the FiDi location, swapping out the mahi in the fish tacos with whatever is good at the market each day, like mako or swordfish.

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If those types of fish don’t float your boat, maybe the blackened salmon sandwich will. This was good enough to make me think twice about beef for a brief moment.

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Cajun salmon with grilled onions, cucumber, avocado and sriracha aioli? Yes please. That was a great tasting sandwich!

However, my favorite thing between two buns, aside from The Cake Dealer’s thong, was the slow braised short rib slider.

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After braising, these babies are pan seared and topped with house made spicy and sweet pickles, shallots and rosemary caramelized onions. Oh my God, those onions… And those pickles… So good, and such a complex bite of food. There are lots of well-balanced flavors popping in these. I highly recommend. They’re technically apps, but I guess if you order enough of them you can call it a meal.

Speaking of appetizers, by the way, a pair of other notable mentions were the buttermilk bites and avocado bacon deviled eggs. The eggs come cleverly plated in an egg carton with six pieces per order. Very generous! And these devilish morsels tasted heavenly. The egg is mixed with the avocado to make a very creamy filling, and the sriracha and serrano peppers on top bring that slight bit of heat that you want from deviled eggs.

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The buttermilk bites, if sold in bulk, would probably be the cause of my death. I can easily see myself eating these until I pop. There’s nothing too complicated about them; they’re just southern style fried chicken morsels.

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But the buttermilk fry batter is spectacular, and the meat is tender and juicy inside. Perfect execution! What really brings these home for me, though, is the cilantro jalapeno aioli. It’s cool and refreshing, while at the same time bringing a kick of spice to your taste buds.

I also got to sample both the sweet potato and regular fries. Both were good, but I actually preferred the sweet potato fries for some reason. They ended up being seasoned better, they held a better crisp, and they actually tasted savory rather than sweet. This was a nice change, because I typically don’t like sweet potato fries.

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Malt House actually has a pastry chef now, so dessert is on point. I sampled four items: chocolate mousse, beignets with chocolate sauce, banana and chocolate filled crepes and cheesecake. All were nicely executed, simple and delicious.

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Now that I’ve gotten the food out of the way, let me talk a bit about the drinks and decor at this place. Aside from something like 200 whiskies and 40 draft beers, they also offer a nice cocktail menu and an extensive list of bottled and canned beers as well.

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In addition, this joint is hugely spacious, with a main bar and dining floor, a nice mezzanine overlooking the main floor, a private party room off the mezzanine and a massive basement called “The Armory,” which features a wrap-around bar and tons of additional seating. I love the proud patriotism on display down there. There are tons of old US flags and such (to be fair, some might be British colonial flags as well – I’m not sure). This place also boasts some other nice historic and architectural touches, like a preserved 125yr old, all-original skylight in the private room and several actual Carnegie Steel Company beams in the main bar and dining room.

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The interior pics aren’t mine, by the way. They were provided to me by the restaurant. But you get the sense of how enormous and gorgeous this place is. Go check it out for yourself one of these days. You won’t be disappointed.

MALT HOUSE
9 Maiden Ln
New York, NY 10038

Brindle Room

UPDATE 09-17-2023

First, check out my Ride & Review HERE:

The location is not on 11th street right near Avenue C. The burger is every bit as good as it used to be, but the poutine is no longer on the menu.

Fried pickles, wings, killer Tuscan style porchetta ribs, and bacon wrapped, goat cheese stuffed dates. All excellent!

Great spot. Pork loin was good too!

My buddies and I came in here for a quick dinner on a Sunday evening. I had heard great things about both the burger and the duck confit poutine, so I had to give them each a try.

First the poutine:

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At $20 this is a bit pricey, but probably big enough to share with another person and not have to order much else to get full. We split it four ways and each had an entree. That was perfect. While the fries do get a little soggy in this pot, that’s to be expected when covering them with confit duck, cheddar cheese curds and duck gravy. The dish had great flavor, and one of my friends who only ate duck once before and had a bad experience is now a changed man.

The burger, I am told, is crafted with rib eye fat cap. It’s a simple arrangement of American cheese, caramelized onions and pickles. My kind of burger. This is a damn good representation of how I like my burgers, however I just wish the bun was a bit softer and more supple. Potato buns rule.

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I had some more fries with this, only sans cheddar cheese curds, gravy and duck. They were nicely fried and well seasoned, with a crispy natural cut to them. Well played.

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That about does it. Another burger added to the list of hundreds that have found their way into my mouth, down my gullet, through my digestive tract, out my ass, and into the NYC sewage system.

BRINDLE ROOM
647 E 11th St
New York, NY 10009

Hard Times Sundaes

If your taste in burgers is anything like mine, you like to keep it fairly simple but always delicious. They say “you don’t mess with perfection,” and I believe that’s vital when it comes to the outstanding combination of meat and cheese. That perfection, for me, is a classic flat top griddle burger with crispy edges and a medium center, covered all over with melted American cheese, and topped with lettuce, tomato and fresh jalapenos. It must also be slapped on a potato bun with a bit of mayo.

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One of the best places to get this style of burger is Hard Times Sundaes at Urbanspace Vanderbilt.

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What started out as a meager food truck venture turned out to be one of the most sought after “roadside” style burgers in the city. Two years later, this place is consistently hailed as one of the best burgers in town by some of the most respected burger critics around. I agree with them.

I came here to celebrate their second “BURGthday” with a bunch of other NYC food scene press people.  Since this was my first go at this place, I kept it simple, sticking to my favorite style, as outlined above. I was impressed! Everything was perfect – seriously.

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A bunch of people were getting triples, because they do look amazing in photos, but I really wanted to experience the single in all its glory, perfectly ratio’d between bun, meat, cheese and toppings. It was so fucking good, and I wish I had more right now.

But I also got to try their bacon wrapped hot dog as well. These are not dick pics with toasted foreskin. These are delicious hot dogs.

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I had this once with avocado at Crif Dogs, WAAAY back in the day, before I started reviewing restaurants. I loved it then, and I love it now. I like glorified hot dogs, and wrapping them in bacon and deep frying them is probably one of the best ways to do it. I liked it so much on that first bite, that I totally skipped any additional toppings like mustard, ketchup or onions.

Do yourselves a favor and get your asses over here ASAP.

There’s also a luncheonette spot out in Brooklyn that serves the burgers and also a nice skirt steak sandwich:

Watch the video of the steak sandwich being made:

HARD TIMES SUNDAES
At Urbanspace Vanderbilt
230 Park Ave
New York, NY 10169

The Shakespeare

When mighty roast beef was the English man’s food,
It ennobled our brains and enriched our blood,
Our soldiers were brave and our courtiers were good.
Oh! The roast beef of old England!

This past weekend my wife and I were invited to a “food influencer” event to help promote the new brunch menu at The Shakespeare. I feel like British food gets a bad rep, and isn’t very well represented in NYC (with the exception of a few places like The Spotted Pig and Jones Wood Foundry). That said, I was excited to give this place a try.

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The interior is beautiful, and it’s set up like an old timey British tavern downstairs, with a nice elegant dining room and outdoor courtyard upstairs.

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My wife had been here about a year ago and spoke highly of the burger, scotch egg and fish and chips.

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She’s absolutely right about those fuckers; they’re great. But we sampled a whole bunch of different items this time around, to highlight the brunch menu.

Starting on September 11, 2016, for $19, you get to choose from three types of roasted meats; pork, chicken and beef.

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This beef is easily 9/10 for flavor, and when you add the horseradish sauce to it, it is fucking insane. I highly recommend it. The pork comes with an apple-based sauce, and the chicken comes with a “bread sauce” that’s similar to a bechamel. I’d say that my ranking, in order of awesomeness, was the beef, the chicken and then the pork.

But that’s not all you get for the $19. You also get some potato sides, popovers and seasonal veggies.

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Make sure you try a Bloody Mary, too. They’re peppery and chock full of horseradish.

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This chilled gazpacho soup was really nice on such a hot day too.

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And for dessert, we tried the chocolate hazelnut mousse and sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream.

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Both were great, but I think my favorite between the two was the toffee pudding pie/cake on the bottom. The flake salt on top really made the flavors pop.

THE SHAKESPEARE
24 E 39th St
New York, NY 10016

Bar Boulud

Here’s another restaurant week review for your asses.

For $42, my wife had a three course meal. The first course? A fucking salmon rillette.

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This was pretty good. I apologize in advance, though. My pictures don’t look too good this time around. I had competing light color values from outside along the windows (blue) and inside from the overhead lighting (yellow/orange/red, with dark shadows). As a result, my photos look like dog diarrhea smeared onto a piss and blood-ridden diaper/maxi pad, but only the kind of diaper/maxi pad you see in commercials that use blue colored liquid to simulate blood and piss for some ridiculous reason.

But anyway that salmon rillette had a nice base of hard rye, topped with minced salmon and pickle, and some frisee and sliced beets. It had a good flavor and texture.

The main course was a bavette steak. If you don’t know what the fuck a bavette is, click the link I just provided and read up on it, asshole. It’s a cut of beef.

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This was roasted to a nice medium rare, but I was somewhat disappointed with the lack of char on the outside. It was buttery and garlicky, which was good for flavor. However, the slices that I had were slightly under seasoned. I think it still gets 8/10, so there’s some room for improvement. It was served on a bed of potato puree with a side of green beans.

For dessert, there was this blackberry financier with brown butter ice cream.

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The cake itself was a bit dry, but all the toppings served well to moisten it the hell up. Corn? And popcorn? Interesting! But the brown butter ice cream blob way the fuck on the right was the real star of the dish. I would have preferred a bowl of that instead.

Overall this is a pretty good deal for restaurant week. Lunch is always the better buy ($29), but you aren’t getting raped here for a $42 three-course dinner.

The couple we were with let us try a bit of their dessert as well, a chocolate ganache pie of sorts:

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This was very rich and tasty. If chocolate is your vice, then this dessert is nice. That was a rhyme.

For my meal, I went with the “Frenchie” burger. If you’re in the area for a burger, you can go with PJ Clarke’s for a standard style American burger, or pop in here for something unique and different… and French.

This mother fucker is topped with raclette cheese and a thick goddamn slab of soft, confit pork belly! Bitches know what’s up! I think. I don’t know, actually… Do they know what’s up?

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That’s arugula underneath, incase you were wondering. The patty was perfectly seasoned, and the bun was soft yet pliable and strong. Toppings, as you can imagine, were on point. The confit pork was like having a fast food burger patty made of belly (in terms of size) right on top of your already-delicious burger. Good move. This burger was pretty damn good, but it doesn’t quite make it into my top 10.

For $23, the burger also came with fries, which were some crispy-ass, natural cut, shoestring mother fuckers. I liked them.

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Honorable mention: bread selection. We had three styles of table bread. First were small cheese bread things that reminded me of pop-overs in muffin form. They were warm too, like the pair of underwear that you just peeled off your sweaty, NYC-in-the-summer ass cheeks and tossed into the laundry pile. The other bread basket had slices of a sunflower seed sourdough bread of some kind, and a few slices of standard French baguette. All good quality, just like the writing in this review.

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That’s it. Now go fuck off.

BAR BOULUD
1900 Broadway
New York, NY 10023