We went for lunch on a Friday. It wasn’t packed or anything like that: we sat right away. Yet it took us an hour to have three appetizers. The wait time between the first appetizer and the second two appetizers was horrendous. Probably a half hour.
We started with the wok fried monk fish, called ca bam. Though very salty, small, and overpriced ($15) it WAS very tasty. The rice chips were the perfect crunchy vessel to eat the peanutty and lightly spiced fish.
Fast forward 30 minutes and our soups FINALLY came to the table. We each ordered the signature pho dish. At $19 a pop I was expecting something at least as filling as a bowl of pho from Chinatown. No such luck. There was about 10-12oz of liquid broth, a few thin slices of the meat, a small handful of noodles, and a small piece of fois gras. The bowl, in all, is a bit smaller than what you’d make with instant ramen or instant pho. While I realize that it is an appetizer portion, I feel that for $19 you should get more substance. At least it was delicious. It was hearty, tasty, and it contained quality ingredients. The foie gras was deliciously fatty and perfectly executed.
The decor was definitely beautiful. I should have thought to snap a pic of that. It was very reminiscent of real French-Vietnamese structures in Vietnam. Hence the name Le Colonial.
But paying $68, tax included for three appetizers to come out over the course of over an hour was fucking absurd. I’ll never eat here again, though I’m glad I got to try the soup. In the future I’ll just stick with the Chinatown pho joints. Only in midtown NYC can you pay $68 for lunch and still be hungry. Fuck that. I guess the good thing is that I got to spend some quality time with my wife in the middle of a work day.
I was recently invited to a press dinner at Pepela, a very elegant but non-stuffy Georgian restaurant on 30th Street just east of Park Avenue. I didn’t know what to expect, really. Not only have I not regularly indulged in eastern European, Scandinavian or Russian/northern Asian cuisine, but I’m also new to the press dinner thing. I must say: after tonight, I’m a fan of both Georgian cuisine AND press dinners.
Pepela is a beautiful restaurant. I thought maybe the name meant butterfly. That’s just a guess though from the decor on the back wall.
However, a quick google translate “language detect” search said that pepela means “ash” in Slovenian.
The entry way feels like you are stepping into a fancy brownstone.
A short hallway walk takes you to an upscale bar/lounge area, which partially overlooks the downstairs dining room area nearest to the small stage that’s set up for live music.
This place is great for something like bridal parties or girly brunches, for sure. But it’s great for date night too. I think I even overheard something about a cover band. A band was setting up while we were on our way out.
White brick walls line the dining room downstairs. Purple toned up-lighting splashes color all around, giving the place a distinct lounge feel, but without the loud music blaring in your ears (loud lounges suck once you hit your 30s).
Upstairs there are elegant light fixtures, shimmering chandeliers, columnal white wainscoting and bold crown molding on the walls. It’s bright and clean. Dare I say… sexy? I hate that word when used relating to food… but I guess I’m talking about atmosphere. Here – just look at some of the artwork that throws back to the sexified 80’s ideal of Victorian-era erotica.
Okay so on to the good shit. The important shit. The fucking food.
The first things that passed into our digestive system were some drinks. A lovely tarragon and citrus flavored soda called Natakhtari was bright green with a delicious and herbaceous taste. Where can I get more of this awesomeness?
Next was a proprietary in-house Georgian vodka-based drink with a pomegranate and orange flavor that transformed with a simple squeeze of lime. Refreshing and fruity. Not too strong, not too light. Really a perfect cocktail: especially for you broads out there. It was called a chacha pom.
Then came a starter plate with some warm, semi-flat quick bread (they look like sharks).
First on the starter plate was eggplant wrapped around a hummus-like walnut paste puree. I liked it a lot. Even my wife, who absolutely hates eggplant, was able to eat it.
Next was a beet spread. This was mixed with onions and herbs. Really nice balance of sweet and savory going on here, and it went nicely with the bread.
Last were peppers stuffed with walnuts, pomegranate, carrots, spices and herbs. This was my favorite of the three. The roasted pepper flavor really added a nice earthy note to drive home the nutty excellence of the stuffing.
By that point in the meal I was already sold on Georgian food. Unique drinks, with tasty and light starters? Sure! The starter plates were surprisingly Mediterranean in flavor. Delicious and totally unexpected, yet somehow familiar. If I had to make one suggestion here: it could use some crunch to mix up the texture. Maybe some thick cut, crispy fried potato slices as an alternative to the bread? But then maybe that would take it out of the realm of traditional Georgian food? What the hell do I know. I really was fine with it as-is.
Next came the cheese bread called khachapuri. To a grease bag EYEtalian-American like me, this was sorta like a white pizza. It was made with very light, mild and melty cheeses though, on crisp yet soft dough.
For my taste it could’ve been a slight bit crispier, but maybe that’s just me subconsciously transforming it into pizza in my boot-shaped-country head.
Last was a plate of veal soup dumplings called khinkali. These were like doughy gift packages of spiced meat, accompanied by a great soup broth inside that packed some really robust, home-style flavors.
You’re supposed to eat these fuckers by hand, which I love, because I’m a man and I have a base-born NEED to eat with my hands. It’s genetic; it’s in a man’s DNA. Shit maybe it’s even evolutionary. (Pay no attention to my girly, pinkish-purple shirt…)
Ridiculous video.
Wow. Pepela… what a great build up from start to finish. The lightness of the starters awakened my taste buds and prepared them for the punch of the entree. I loved everything, and I’ll definitely be back to try some of the other tasty menu items. Georgian food has a great future in the belly of this meat man!
My wife and I tried this place because she got a great deal on a steak dinner for two from Gilt City. The regular coupon was $99 for two apps, two sides, and two entrees. But my bargain hunter wife got it for $84. The kicker was this: EVERY item on the menu was included in the deal – no restrictions. With that said, I chose the regularly priced $95 Wagyu rib eye for my entree. It was either that or the $79 longbone rib eye. So my single steak cost more than the coupon. Crazy. Verdict is below:
Flavor: 9
After asking the waiter twice if the Wagyu rib eye was included, and being told emphatically “yes,” I was convinced that all was right with the world. It was delicious. Small (14oz), but delicious. Cooked perfectly, well seasoned, juicy, tender, and good to the last bite. However, if you are going to pay full price for something like this, I think the better bet is to head over to Del Frisco’s Double Eagle; I found their Wagyu rib eye to be superior (double the size and better flavor, yet for the same price). My wife had the lamb chops (two double cut chops). She ordered them medium rare but they came back medium to medium-well. Shame.
14oz Wagyu Rib Eye
Lamb Chops
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
Everything is good quality, and they cover every type of cut possible; two rib eyes, a few filets, porterhouse, strip… Nothing outside the basics though.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
The plating was basic, and I thought the portion size was a little small for my rib eye, but the Wagyu’s are sometimes smaller than the American cuts. At $95, if I paid full price, I would have been a little upset with a 14oz steak. In fact had I been paying full price I would have gone with the 30oz longbone rib eye, which looked awesome when I saw a waiter carry it to another table. But I had to jump on the Wagyu since it was essentially free.
Price: 10
I really can’t say shit about price since we had an amazing coupon deal, and it included their most expensive cuts. We paid $100 over the initial $84 because we each had a drink, we ordered a dessert (not included), and then tip.
Bar: 7
There bar room is tremendous and beautiful, and that’s why it has seven points. I had to yank three. The main problem was that there weren’t enough bartenders to deal with the mobbed, crowded room. Perhaps we were just there at a bad time? It took about 20 minutes to get the attention of a bartender who had been ignoring my friend and I when we first stepped up to the bar. To top it off, the drinks were insanely overpriced. Two Johnny Walker blacks cost me $45, and drinks were $20 a pop on the cocktail menu as well (“Winter in Manhattan” – $19 – orange and cinnamon infused whiskey). Fuck that shit.
The Bar
Specials and Other Meats: 8
The waiter didn’t read off any specials. Not sure if that was because there were none, or because it was busy and he forgot. As for other meats, they offered veal, lamb, and chicken.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 9
We tried the crab cake and the day boat scallops for starters. Both were really good. The crab cake was meaty and crispy on the edges, and the scallops were cooked perfectly and dressed with a nice sauce.
Crab Cake
Scallops
On the side we had creamed spinach and truffle french fries. Deliciousness oozed from both. The creamed spinach was a little bit creamier than I normally like (ratio was off a bit) but I was surprised by how nice and well-balanced it tasted. The fries were awesome. Really great earthy flavor from the truffles, and they were nicely seasoned with Parmesan cheese and garlic.
Creamed Spinach
Truffle Fries
For dessert we tried the maple bacon ice cream, which had actual bits of bacon folded into the ice cream. It was breakfasty. Interesting and yummy at first, but three scoops was two too many for the taste buds.
Maple Bacon Ice Cream
Seafood Selection: 8
The appetizer section is a little light on the normal types of seafood items you usually see at a steak joint, but the entree menu has an ocean section with several types of fish to choose from.
Service: 8
Shit was busy as fuck in this place. I don’t know if it was because tourists were in town for the previous night’s Christmas Tree lighting ceremony, or if this is a regular thing… But getting a drink at the bar was a nightmare, and the time lapse between being seated, ordering, getting drinks delivered, getting apps/entrees, etc. was very long. Our waiter was great though, so no complaints there. Just insanely busy. On a lighter note, the table bread came out with a really soft and creamy whipped butter – very nice.
Table Breads
Ambiance: 9
Both the bar room and the restaurant itself are beautiful, which is to be expected of the Waldorf. Dark wood paneling rises all the way up the walls to meet the high vaulted ceilings, where elegant chandeliers hang down to dimly light the room. The floor is carpeted with a wide red plaid pattern that makes for a warm, cozy atmosphere. It’s gorgeous. I only took a point away for the general feeling of “too busy.” Perhaps a different night would make for a more intimate dining experience.
Chandelier
BULL & BEAR PRIME
540 Lexington Ave.
New York, NY 10022
Last night Tabelog hosted another incredible event for their elite team of prized food bloggers. They’ve set out to choose some of the more secret spots around NYC to host these things, as evidenced by their selection of Jukai, a very small, discrete Japanese joint on 53rd Street between 2nd and 3rd Avenues. My wife and I were blown away by how great the food was. To top it off, the event was sponsored by Asahi beer, so we got to sample some of their very popular super dry (goes nice with seafood) and dark (pairs well with beef) varietals. If the tasting/sampling is any indication of what an actual sit-down meal is like here, then I highly recommend that you reserve a table ASAP. You won’t be disappointed.
Okay so here’s the Food Pr0n in picture form:
First, the assorted starter. Pickled mushroom and onion, egg omelette with spinach, squid with sea urchin, smoked duck, and Jamon Iberico on top of persimmon. As you might have guessed the Iberico was my favorite portion of this plate, followed closely by the duck.
Then came my absolute favorite of the night – beef carpaccio. But not your ordinary beef. It was smokey, aged, and incredibly unique in flavor. And look at that fucking marbling…
Next, the mains. Salmon marinated in sake and then broiled, served with a grilled Shishito pepper. Very tasty. I usually dislike cooked salmon, but the experts at Jukai managed to keep the meat orange/pink inside for a beautiful rare temperature inside with a nice crisp on the outside…
Followed by Spanish mackerel with ground radish…
Then my wife’s favorite – a gigantic pacific oyster with all sorts of good toppings (I took this down in one bite)…
And a steaming bowl of garlicky shabu shabu with beef and cabbage.
For dessert we had a sampling of four delicious items: black tea panna cotta (my wife’s favorite), white sesame blancmange (almost like a pudding), creme brulee (my favorite), and chocolate truffles.
I had the rib eye, as usual. it was really nicely cooked, tender, juicy, delicious. The only downside was that the meat was a little bit tight. Not tough, but maybe it didn’t have as much marbling as I had hoped. Also the fat cap was a little bit on the smaller side than I usually like, and less of it was edible than normal. Overall though I really enjoyed my steak (8/10). I tried some of the lamb chops, braised short rib, and the porterhouse as well – all were good, though the porterhouse was a bit overcooked (6/10).
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
The quality here is all prime, and supposedly hand selected by Pat LaFrieda himself! The online menu showed a rib eye for two, but they didn’t have it at the restaurant. Otherwise they had all the basics; porterhouse for multiple even numbers of diners, filet, strip, and rib eye. They also had some alternative meats like pork (which they were out of), veal, lamb and braised short rib. A nice selection.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
With the exception of the sides, the portions are all very generous, and the plating is up to par with other more modern, elegant steakhouses. I’d say my rib eye was upwards of 22oz.
Price: 8
I can’t really complain at all here. At the end of the meal we were given some free booze (see service section). The rib eye was a bit pricey in my opinion, but the other steaks seemed fair (as well as the drinks). See the rest below:
Bar: 8
The bar is nice, though I wonder if the place would have been better arranged if they put the bar closer to the street/windows that in the back. They mixed a good martini though, and they have a great selection of house cocktails that looked (and tasted) great. My martini was $12, which, after spending $20 last week at Del Frisco’s, seemed like a steal (how sad is that?).
Specials and Other Meats: 8
There was no special beef cut, but they did offer some oysters and clams on special. As for other meats, they had braised short rib (which was yummy), lamb chops (also delicious), veal and pork chops (which they were out of).
braised short rib & lamb chops
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We started with some slab bacon, which was fatty and delicious. At $5 a slab it was worth it. We also shared some grilled octopus – it was tasty and bright, but it had less char on it than I had expected. Next we had some grilled calamari stuffed with Greek cheeses. These were very nice. During dinner we had some rosemary oregano fries, which were really crisp, aromatic and tasty. We also tried the creamed spinach and sauteed broccoli rabe with feta. Both were excellent, however there was just not enough of it in each order.
Seafood Selection: 7
They have a decent raw bar and app selection, but other than that it seems to just be sea bass (both Mediterranean and Chilean) and salmon for dinner (along with a crab cake plate).
Service: 10
The service here is absolutely awesome. Our water Salvador was really nice and helpful, and he had great suggestions for drinks and entrees. After dinner we had the great pleasure of chatting with the general manager Jean Christophe for quite a bit of time. He was a chef for many years at various great NYC steakhouses. This man is a class act, and a true gentleman. Both he and our waiter offered us some complimentary after dinner drinks from their high end selections (top notch tequilas and cognacs). I always enjoy meeting the people who run these places. When they truly love the industry it reflects in their service just how much each diner means to them.
Ambiance: 8
The ambiance was nice, but the music was a bit too clubby for my taste. Otherwise everything was neat, well decorated, and elegant – from the tables to the bathrooms. We had a nice big round table in the front of the restaurant, near the windows, and we enjoyed it.
So far, this location blows away the other locations. I was shocked at how well flavored and well cooked the meat was here. Hats off to the chef, and a total redemption for the brand in comparison to the other two locations I have visited. I had the ribeye, and my buddy had the filet. Both were incredible, and both of us agreed that the filet was likely one of the best either of us have ever tasted. Perfection.
rib eye, filet
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
They’ve got it all and then some. The four basics, plus some specials and lesser cuts (corned beef, skirt, various preparations of the standard cuts, multiple sizes, etc). The quality was top notch, and the meat was treated right. You should always treat your meat right. Lube it up with some oils, rub it gently at first, etc.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
My steak was about 24oz, bone in, and the filet was 14oz. The filet also came in a “pussy size” at 10oz. The other choices were equally sizable as well. The plates were garnished with a little bit of green rubbish – not necessary in my opinion.
Price: 7
Prices are far too high for drinks here. I’ve mentioned before that Bobby Van’s is a little out of hand for drinks. Honestly – $16 for a Jameson on the rocks? Who the fuck are you kidding? With tax and tip, a martini will run me $18-$20. Fuck that. I’d rather drink my own semen. Other than the unbelievable drink prices, the other stuff wasn’t too bad, with the exception of maybe the dessert or the espresso. The plus side to it; the food was well worth the money, especially since we were able to use a Groupon deal for “$100 gets you $200 worth of food.” Sweet.
Bar: 8
There’s a cool little bar here. Nice wood look, old style, and a decent after work crowd gathering for drinks (at $15 a pop minimum for booze, this would be a great place for gold diggers and high priced hookers to meet unsuspecting marks).
Specials and Other Meats: 9
They had a special in each category. The fish was halibut, the soup was black bean, the apps were oysters and seafood plateaus, and the beef was corned beef, for all the Irish folks celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. We tried none of them. The other meats included lamb, veal and chicken, and, as mentioned above, they also had some secondary beef cuts as well. Solid.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We started with the slab bacon and lump crab. The crab was great – big lumps of meat, juicy, cold, and a good portion size; probably 4oz. The bacon was tremendously portioned. Look at the amount of thick slices they give you below. It was tasty, but one or two slices were WAY too salty. On the side we had sauteed spinach and mac & cheese. They were both above average to good, especially the mac & cheese. It had a great crispy baked top. Also big portion sizes. For dessert we tried the brownie ala mode. The brownie was dry, and most definitely needed the ice cream on top to moisten it.
Seafood Selection: 8
I have to be honest… other than the standard shellfish or tartare apps and the special halibut, I didn’t really notice any other fish on the menu. I also wasn’t really looking, because only a dumb broad would do something like look at the fish selection at a steakhouse. In any case, I can’t deduct any points from the base score of 8, so I will leave it at that.
Service: 7
The service was okay. When we first came in, they put us at a cramped seat close to the bar area, and the waiter was kinda short with us, rushing the drink order, etc. When we asked if we could move, he was all “oh there’s no room, we are all booked” … meanwhile the restaurant was nearly empty at 6:15pm. I looked around like “Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone? You’re booked?” A few minutes later, however, the manager came over and moved us to another table… a cramped one in the back, jammed behind a huge support column… in the empty dining room. The waiter there was better, but seemed a bit over-burdened for a half-filled house. On a side note… the bread was cold, but good quality.
Ambiance: 9
This location is better than the others. It has a classic steakhouse feel to it, although it lacks booths (all tables except for one or two half-booths – dumb). The waiters all have jackets on, all male. The decor is rustic, weathered wood, which is cool. The bathrooms are clean and decent, with thick paper towels for hand drying.
HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE 50th STEAKHOUSE I’VE REVIEWED! I’ve been here once before, but that was before I started doing reviews. I remember thinking it was in my short list of favorites at the time, so I needed to come back and give it the old once-over, JP style. The verdict: not quite as incredible as I remember, but still a solid dining experience.
Flavor: 7
The flavor here was good but it lacked a little seasoning or salt. My rib eye was cooked nicely, but there definitely was a little bit of bleed-out – like that time of the month when broads start to bleed from their vadges. I think if there was more crust or char on the meat, the juices would’ve been sealed in better. They definitely let the meat rest properly before serving, so they got it mostly right. They DO have a steak sauce here that they pop on the table after you order your food, but it tasted more like a BBQ sauce to me. Perhaps good on chicken, but it would fuck up a good steak, in my opinion.
28oz Bone-In Colorado Rib Steak
On a return trip, I tried both the prime rib and the cajun rib eye.
The prime rib was pretty good. 7/10.
The cajun rib eye was good too, but when compared with Greenwich Steakhouse, it just doesn’t hold up. 7/10.
Porterhouse: 7/10.
“Plaque Steak” filet mignon for two: 9/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
The selection here is all prime, and dry-aged in house – so it is nice quality. You can taste that in the natural flavor, and that might be why they are light on the seasoning. Some places don’t want to tarnish the purity of a nice cut. They have five different styles of filet, four of which come in two sizes. They have single sirloin cuts in two sizes AS WELL AS a sirloin for two and a NY sirloin (strip). Then there’s the Colorado rib steak, a Cajun marinated rib steak, a prime rib, and a porterhouse for two. Last, they have “sliced steak Wollensky” in two sizes as well, which is another sirloin of some kind. That’s a lot of fucking beef to choose from.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
My steak was 28oz, bone-in. That’s a good-sized slab of meat on the bone – like Lexington Steele. I didn’t ask about the sizes of the other cuts. I’m sorry about that, assholes. Plating was basic steakhouse styling.
Price: 8
Prices here range from $45 to $54 for proper cuts of steak. The Colorado rib steak, which I had, came in on the higher side of that range at $53. It’s a bit high compared to other joints. Was it worth the money? Well… I guess. I can say yes if you are a purist. If you are like me, though, and sometimes you want a little crust on your steak, then you might be better off elsewhere for this price range. I did think the crab claw was over-priced, though it was delicious. I was hoping for a little more than one claw – like maybe an entire crab.
William Price
Bar: 8
The bar here is nice, and it reminded me of Keen’s a little, though not quite as incredible. It has an old feel, it smells like a bar, and the bartender is fancied up with some nice attire and even has an Irish accent. The martini was made perfectly, and came with three unpitted castelvetrano olives instead of your normal bullshit cocktail olives. Very nice – almost worth the $14 you pay for it (before tax & tip). I will be honest though – I hate NYC’s east side, bottom to top, but especially midtown. I never hang out there, and I most likely wouldn’t go there just for the bar unless I lived in that area (which I would never do). So there you have it.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
Our waiter didn’t read us any specials, so I was assuming there were none… until we overheard another waiter take a surf & turf order. I have a feeling my wife might have ordered that had we known about it. It wasn’t on the menu if it was a special – I’ll chalk that up to a service mishap. For other meats, they had braised short rib, lamb chops (which my wife ordered), roasted veal chops, and lemon pepper chicken. The lamb chops were thick and juicy, and cooked nicely – not too gamy. They came with an utterly horrific mint jelly (on the side, thank God), which tasted like melted mint gumdrops – those big, granulated sugar covered ones that you get from a crystal candy dish at your dead grandmother’s house. Mildly reminiscent of tooth paste. Fuck that shit.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
To start, I had the colossal Florida stone crab, which to my dismay was just a claw and not a full crab. It was absolutely delicious though. My wife had the famous split pea soup, which was very smooth and tasty, but ultimately nothing to rave about. On the side we had creamed spinach. I had heard good things about it here, but I wasn’t impressed. I prefer a leafier creamed spinach in general, but I am not opposed to the pureed type. Here it was pureed, but I thought it lacked punch. It was nice when you slathered it on your meat and took a combo bite though. For dessert we shared a disappointing slice of the bourbon pecan pie. The nutty top part was nice, but the inside was a little too gelatinous and fake tasting. It just didn’t compare to the walnut pecan pie at Sparks.
Coconut cake:
Carrot cake:
Seafood Selection: 9
There is a ton of seafood here. In addition to a full array of shellfish and regular fish for cold apps (tuna tartare, clams, oysters, shrimp, crab claws, crab cakes, lump crab meat, lobster, towers and plateaus), they also had a solid fish selection for entrees. Three to thirteen pound lobsters, or lobster tails by the ounce, plus a variety of preparations available for red snapper, king salmon, halibut, Dover sole, and Ahi tuna. There is even a special preparation of Dover Sole Meuniere. But seriously – three different crab apps available here?!?? I almost made some warm jellyfish in my pants. Our waiter told us that the seafood “bouquet” contained 12oz of lump crab meat (Is that a fucking mistake??!? That’s HUGE!), six jumbo shrimp, and lobster (I’m guessing half of a 1.5lb fucker). As I said above, the crab was awesome – just over-priced for a relatively small portion.
Colossal Florida Stone Crab Claw
Service: 10
The service was great. Well – let me rephrase and elaborate. The hospitality was INCREDIBLE, but the service was just good. First the negatives – and these are very minor, mind you: (1) We weren’t told about the surf & turf item. (2) I WOULD have ordered a beer to go with my steak but the waiter was sort of unseen after he took our orders. I still had half of my martini from the bar when we sat. My wife ordered a glass of wine, but I wasn’t ever asked for a refresher on my drink. No biggie – it saved me $8. Now for the positives: (1) They didn’t charge us for the pecan pie dessert. It was “on the house” as a gift for my wife, since we let them know the dinner was to celebrate her birthday when we made the reservation. That was awesome – especially since we didn’t really like it all that much anyway. It even came with a candle on top. (2) They have a guy opening and holding the door for you on the way out, and he will even hail a cab for you. I thought this was nice and classy. (3) I was given a hot, damp towel after I finished my crab appetizer. Let’s see – what else… the table bread wasn’t warm, but it was tasty – and came with a good variety of stuff to pick at, like the crispy flat bread, raisin nut bread, Italian bread, pretzel bread, and some sesame seed rolls. The butter was a little too cold to spread on anything though.
Table Bread
Ambiance: 8
The wait staff are all dressed nicely – mainly men as far as I could tell – in suit jackets. The decor was that of a traditional steakhouse. It had exposed brick in some parts, and a cream/tan colored paint job on the others, with old photos and artwork hanging throughout. It reminded me of what Ben Benson was like – even down to the bull head meat sign hanging in the main dining room. The bathroom was nice and clean, all marble, with shelves of thick hand towels for drying. Apparently one guy found it nice enough to drop a deuce in there, because he was laying some underwater cable while I was taking a piss. I should have taken a picture of his pants wrapped around his ankles from under the stall door.
UPDATE: EARLY 2019
I now have a plaque on the wall here, thanks to the fact that my buddy is a waiter and the manager remembers me from way back in 2013 when he was at Quality Italian.
It’s right above the entryway into the main dining room. Anyway, a few items to report on:
The lemon-pepper roasted chicken is absolutely fucking amazing:
That is a best of 2019 dish for me.
The oysters and clams on the half were excellent. Nice and fresh.
Another best of 2019 item is the strawberry cake that comes with an ice cream cone. Crack!
This review is based on my third or fourth trip to Sparks. I’ve been here a bunch, but not since I started reviewing steakhouses. See below for the verdict. In 2001 the NY Post called this place the greatest steakhouse in Manhattan. I disagree, vehemently. See below:
Flavor: 6
I had the “prime sirloin” on the recommendation of the waiter; their “signature steak.” I asked for medium rare, but what I received was a jumble of medium rare, rare and flat out RAW. I had to ask the guy to re-fire it as I got into the center of the cut, and even then it was under cooked when it came back – still raw and rare in parts. My buddy ordered his filet medium, and his too came back mostly medium rare, rare and RAW. This is unacceptable, and the taste was lacking big time (4/10). The filet bite that I did have was good, however (8/10). My “prime sirloin” was good around the edges, where it was cooked, but otherwise the inside had all the tell-tale signs of NOT being a true strip; so I was lied to. Not all Sirloin is strip. There were stringy, uncooked white ribbons of connective tissue, some chewy, dense areas, and lots of under cooked portions. If you are dead set on eating here, do yourself a favor and stick to the somewhat safe filet (it’s fine – just a slight bit under seasoned), and order it a step or two past what you normally like in terms of done-ness. On a subsequent trip, we did a filet and a lobster – no complaints, but I did know to order it medium if I wanted a steak somewhere in the “rare to medium rare” range.
still rare after the second firing
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 5
Another steakhouse without a ribeye on the menu; but no porterhouse here either!?!!?? What the fuck is going on? This “lacking certain basic cuts” trend needs to stop, otherwise JP will become very pissed. I could swear I had a ribeye here in the past… but maybe not. Sparks has all aged prime beef, but I think they may be using lesser cuts – in other words – they offer a prime aged sirloin instead of a real strip that is cut from a porterhouse. Or they use the “strip” side of a lesser quality t-bone (not a porterhouse). I saw shell steak on the menu here masquerading as a real cut of beef. Are you fucking serious? I don’t care if it is prime shell steak; it’s still a fucking piece of trash shell steak and not one of the four main cuts! I know places that serve CHOICE beef that scored higher, because they prepare them correctly and they actually ARE real steakhouse cuts like porterhouse, strip and ribeye. Is Sparks freaking joking with this? I suspected other places of doing it as well, and gave the benefit of the doubt, but I am not letting is slide anymore. Nope. They say “aged prime sirloin” instead of strip. Technically they are not from the same area in the anatomy of a cow! Go get some porterhouses, some real strips, and some fucking ribeyes for fuck’s sake! Like I said, EVEN IF THEY ARE CHOICE it is better! These people are acting like “prime beef” is the same as Kobe or some shit. I can understand a “Kobe” t-bone, or a “Kobe” sirloin, or a “Kobe” shell steak on a menu. Doing this is good because it is offering really great meat from a lesser cut so that the non-wealthy masses can try what really amazing meat tastes like. Kobe is special (even the faux versions), so offering a lesser cut is a great idea (otherwise something like a Kobe ribeye would be around $50-$100 an ounce). Listen – anyone can age a choice cut of meat to taste like prime in their garage or basement; but prime is not that big of a deal! I hope people understand what I am saying in this really long rant here, because this is a really dubious, evil, manipulative trend that is happening at very pricey steakhouses. Unless you know beef like I do, you might not comprehend what is happening (see my steak basics and cuts/anatomy blog posts from way back for a refresher). Anyway… Sparks also does a lot of “sliced steaks” on their menu. No good. Keep it simple, and keep it whole. I’m a big boy. I can cut my own meat.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Sizes here are good – you will be full if you can eat your cut of beef, assuming they cook it properly when you go. I left about 4oz of beef on my plate because it was raw, even after the second firing of my steak. The filet, however, was a good size, and very tasty on my next visit. Keep it safe.
filet
Price: 7
The price is good for NYC at $40 to $47 for the steaks, but the trade off is you are getting lesser quality meat cuts. We had a Bloomspot deal that cost $115 for $200 worth of food and drinks (excluding tax/tip), so that helped a lot. Otherwise I wouldn’t go here again on a dare. We were out of pocket $235, but it was really a $320 meal. For that price it should have been perfect, and they didn’t know we were using a coupon/gift certificate until after we ate dessert.
Bar: 8
The bar at Sparks is okay. I prefer the bar at Keens; it has a similar look, though here it is tucked away from the windows and in the center of the restaurant. The martini was made perfectly, and there is a great selection of rare booze. Down side – they don’t offer beer on tap, and the beer they did have in bottles was slightly skunked.
top view of my martini
Specials and Other Meats: 6
On special Sparks had NOTHING. For alternative meat selection they had veal and lamb. NO CHICKEN – I love it. Ballsy. But they should consider adding some real steaks to their menu, instead of shell and sirloin, even if they have to charge $10 more for each.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
When I came here in the past, the lump crab meat cocktail had bits of flaky shells in it, twice (original order and replacement order). The same was true this time around. The hash browns were very small in size for $9, though they were good. The creamed spinach ABSOLUTELY SUCKED. It was watery, not creamy, unseasoned, had a horrible texture, and just all around tasted like dog shit (because we all know what that tastes like, right?). The Caesar salad was delicious and a great size to share for two. The oysters ($3 each) were creamy, fresh and delicious. The best part of the meal though, besides getting up and leaving, was the pecan walnut pie for dessert. VERY good. On another visit I tried the sauteed spinach (garlic & oil). It was good, but lacked salt & pepper (Seasoning 101).
oyster app (gigantoysters)
Seafood Selection: 10
Sparks has a ton of seafood to choose from. On the menu there is sole, seabass, red snapper, and shrimp for entrees, but they also have a smattering of items featured at the top of the menu for some reason as well. These include halibut, salmon, tuna, swordfish, trout, lobster (three size/price categories, up to 5.5lbs – $90), crab, and scallops. Perhaps Sparks should change their name to “Sparks Fish House” instead of “Sparks Steakhouse,” because there are way more REAL CUTS to choose from in the seafood department than the meat department. Oh well. As far as apps go, they have all the shellfish basics, and as I said above, the oysters were legit. The lobster is good as well.
lobster man
Service: 6
The waiter was nice and attentive, but no one wished me happy birthday (as mentioned on the reservation note), and he also flat out lied to me about the “prime sirloin” being the same as a strip steak. I call bullshit. Sorry buddy. You were nice, but when we drop $235 on a meal, I expect to be treated with honesty and served good food that I will remember for days to come (for the right reasons). The table bread was hot and crispy, but the butter was cold. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things in this meal. Also… Halfway through my glass of water I noticed that the INSIDE was disgusting. A yellowish crud-crust was clinging to one side up the entire length of the glass. God knows what I put into my body by drinking that shit.
Ambiance: 7
Sparks is known for its infamous mafia hit, which occurred right outside the restaurant… and it is decorated with the expected mafioso look. Dark musty interior, gaudy patterned rugs, wide open dining space. It could almost be in Little Italy if it weren’t for its immense size. It is nice and traditional inside, with all the waiters being male and wearing white tops with ties of some kind.
I had heard wonderful things about this place from a friend and coworker – specifically about the signature pork dish – so my wife and I decided to go here for our Christmas dinner.
I’m not sure if it truly qualifies as a steakhouse, but I am treating it as such based on the menu, which is clearly beef-heavy.
Flavor: 9
This place was incredible for the entrees. I ordered a ribeye, and my wife ordered the crackling pork shank. The steak was cooked perfectly from end to end, it was juicy, well portioned, nicely seasoned and delicious. The pork is really something special though. The skin is so crispy and the fat underneath just melts in your mouth. Some of the best eating I’ve had in NYC right there.
On subsequent visits, I’ve tried the Bronson Pinchot steak: 9/10
As well as the Wellington Rossini: 8/10
Their porterhouse is a 9/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
There was a great selection of beef. First, they have five different styles of filet and two different sizes for each: classic, cajun, au poivre, roquefort crusted, and oscar. Add to that a “bone-in” filet (the conundrum) on special. Impressive… but if you are ordering a filet it may as well be a filet of flounder in my eyes. Man up and get a real cut of beef, pricks. Next, they have porterhouse for two, a ribeye (two sizes), and a sirloin (also two sizes). There is a braised short rib as well. I took points off because there is no porterhouse for one, and no proper strip steak. All the meat is prime quality though, so that is a feather in the cap. Furthermore, it’s all dry-aged on site.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
Portions are big. My ribeye was on the order of 22-24oz (bone-in), and the pork shank was certainly enough to feed two. The scallop appetizer portion was a little on the small side, but the sides were enough for two or more, so it evens out.
Price: 8
The price point is about right for NYC steakhouses. It could even be considered a bargain considering that this place is semi-legendary among NYCers, and is usually packed out on any given night. It is $48/pp for the porterhouse, filets range from $42-$52 depending on preparation and size, the sirloins are $43/$48, and the ribeyes are $45/$50. The martini is $14.
Bar: 9
The bar is an island set-up. They do make a good martini, and they use castelvetrano olives with the pits still inside as garnish, which is a huge bonus as they are my favorite kind of olive (bright green, ample brine, and meaty but not too firm). One cool thing about the bar area is that there is a row of bar stool seats that face into the kitchen. Essentially the kitchen is open view to the public. You can sit and nurse your drink or order bar menu items and watch the cookery in full swing.
Specials and Other Meats: 10
Roasted chicken, rack of lamb, and braised short rib are all on the regular menu along with the big daddy – the crackling pork shank with firecracker applesauce. This place is famous for that dish.
On special they also had plenty to choose from, apps and entrees alike, so this place definitely gets the full till on this category. Don’t skip out on the bone-in chicken parm. This thing is killer!
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
We had a bunch of stuff here.
First, an order of east coast oysters (6) – blue island and malpeque. They were delicious. There were one or two shell shards, but nothing to deduct points over. Next we had a sea scallop appetizer and the plate of blood sausage and sweet breads. The scallops were on the small side. There were two on the plate for about $16, and they were half the side that a normal scallop should be. They were closer to bay size than sea size, if you catch my drift. They were also a bit overcooked, which was a shame. The hints of fennel were nice, and otherwise they tasted great. The sweet breads were crisp outside and creamy inside. A little buttery, but I didn’t mind so much. The blood sausage was nice and mild in flavor but small in portion size. However there was a nice “stuffing” that accompanied the items to make up for it. On the side we had creamed spinach and the “signature balls.” Sounds delicious, right? PICK A NEW NAME FOR THE BALLS M&P! The spinach was a bit watery and not so creamy, but the lack of cream was not unwelcome considering how rich everything else was in the meal. The balls were essentially potato hush puppies, supposedly filled with cheese, though I didn’t get much of that flavor inside. They definitely tasted like chive though – they were just mediocre. For dessert we had a variety of creme brulees. There were six flavors (chocolate, key lime, banana, almond, coffee and vanilla). They were neatly served inside empty egg shells in a porcelain egg holder. Very cool, and a bonus point on plating! It was fun to taste them all.
On a subsequent visit, I couldn’t help but try the dry-aged meatball. This thing is beautiful, all covered up with melted mozzarella and swimming in a light marinara sauce.
The wagyu carpaccio is intensely marbled.
Seafood Selection: 10
They offer several preparations of lobster, salmon, tuna, trout, red snapper, and even a roast whole fish. For the vagina of your dining party, this place certainly has a great selection. From what I hear, the quality and taste is fantastic; especially the trout. They also have the standard apps, like lump crab meat, shrimp cocktail, lobster cocktail, clams, and a variety of east and west coast oysters. There were seafood specials too, both under apps and entrees.
Service: 10
Our waiter(s) were a bit impersonal. They didn’t seem as attentive as other places we have been to and that I have rated. In fact, they served us our apps and forgot to take our entree order. My wife had to call the guy over to take our entree order when we were nearly finished with the appetizers. They made up for this though by giving us each a complimentary glass of champagne at dessert. Nice touch. The table breads were warm when they came to us; a loaf of pretzel bread served with a mustard seed butter. Very innovative and fun. They also serve this extremely flat, crispy item that almost looks like a tortilla or some kind of flatbread cracker. We didn’t have any in our basket, but other diners did. What up wit’ that?
Ambiance: 9
The look is early to mid 20th century, but it isn’t as authentic as other places feel. There is a wrap-around upstairs that encircles the outer perimeter of the restaurant and looks down over the main dining area and bar. We sat up there. Everything looks nice and is clean. The music was crooner stuff and tin pan alley, which I liked. The bathroom was big and clean, and they had stacks of individually folded cloth hand towels for drying off. Nice.
MALONEY & PORCELLI
37 E. 50th St.
New York, NY 10022
I finally had the chance to come back in to Club A and dig on some steaks from the regular menu. The older review below was based on two meals where we used a Groupon and were limited to what we could order. This time I was here for some Instagram photos, so my wife and I tried both the rib eye and the porterhouse. Here’s how it went down:
Porterhouse: 9/10
This baby was nearly perfect. I only took a point because the seasoning was a hair too light. Otherwise the strip side had a really great texture, and the filet side was as soft as a baby’s ass.
Watch as this baby came to the table:
The photos and video make it look very overcooked, but it was just my light shining too hard. It may have been closer to medium than medium rare, but there was plenty of pink to go around.
We really enjoyed this.
Rib Eye: 8/10
This could have used a little more salt, and I only detected the dry aging on the edges by the small cap muscle, but we destroyed every ounce of it.
This baby was perfectly cooked.
Dead on medium rare.
We actually start with the steak tartare.
Here’s a yolk pop and mix video:
This was really nice. Very tender and flavorful.
Bread basket is on point:
Negroni at the bar was very refreshing and well mixed:
Great ambiance both inside and outside. They have live jazz on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and a private room upstairs that I didn’t know existed.
Loved this on the back of the menu:
And the service is impeccable. They even brought out a pair of mushroom ravioli, carrots, and mac and cheese for us even though we didn’t order them:
The dessert plate came out for us gratis as well. Look at how pretty this is:
As nearly all NYCers know, Club A has been running an enticing promotion on Groupon since the Spring of 2011: $80 four course dinner for two, with a bottle of wine included (now $99 for the same deal in 2017). Here’s my review, though I kinda wish my wife stopped Geoffrey Zakarian on the street and begged him to cook us a private meal. She passed by him on her way to meet me.
Flavor:7
The choice of beef cuts with the special deal were either an 8oz filet or a 10oz hanger steak. Naturally, I chose the hanger cut, because I think it shows more finesse and skill to prepare a good hanger steak than it does to whip up a filet. Also, the hanger generally has more flavor and character than the monotonous and generally same-at-every-place-you-go filet can have. My steak was good. It had decent flavor, but it was not tenderized or aged in any noticeable way to enhance it. Parts were stringy, which means the fat was not allowed to break down in the aging process.
It came to me just how I ordered. I asked for medium rare, and I was given medium rare. This cut has a tendency to be tough, so a fast cooking approach with a slice on the bias or a slow, long braise is generally best. I’ve had a better hanger steak at non-steakhouses. 7/10.
My wife had the veal shank osso buco on our first trip here, which was better than my steak that first time around. I had originally given the hanger a 6/10, but after the second trip I bumped it to a 7/10. On the second trip, my wife had the filet.
This was tender and had nice flavor throughout. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare and had a good sear on the outside. 8/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Club A has the standard selection of steaks on their regular menu, plus some special cuts and high quality meats like “Kobe” rib eyes and prime aged stuff. Perhaps my flavor review would be higher if I had ordered off the regular menu, but these were test visits. I’m not sprinting to go back, but I definitely would because I see good potential. Perhaps if someone insists, I will try it again.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
The portion sizes were good, and the plating was above average. The veal osso buco came with a mini fork to get the marrow out of the bone – nice touch. The hanger was pre-sliced, properly on the bias, and served with a watery gravy (but good). The bacon appetizer was a generous half-inch thick slice of heaven.
Price: 9
The price was great – $80 for four courses each, plus a bottle of wine (now $99). The quality didn’t quite exceed the value, but I guess they have to draw the line somewhere to distinguish between the bargain menu and their regular menu. Prices for regular items are standard NYC steakhouse prices.
Bar: 7
There is a small bar in the front of the restaurant – not impressive, but nicely set up.
There is also a larger bar upstairs splitting the front and rear dining areas, but these spots aren’t the kind of place you go to hang out. The upstairs bar seems to be unmanned, though I’m not sure if it gets more lively at night.
The martini was nice, but the atmosphere pales in comparison to other steakhouse bars. This is a neighborhood joint though, not a major steakhouse attraction, so allow some leeway. The waffle cut potato chips on the bar were a nice snack.
Specials and Other Meats: 9
I must say, the menu is full of meatery. Aside from the special beef cuts, they also have a prime pork chop, veal, chicken, sausage, and lamb. They’ve covered all the bases with various sizes as well.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
The bacon app was fantastic on the first visit, but just good on the second. Recently I’ve had better. It wasn’t too salty, and for the most part it had a good amount of fat balanced with the meaty parts.
On my first visit, the steak tartare was sub-par: over cut with capers, red onion and other doo-dads; it tasted yummy, but it seemed short on actual meat. Also, some of the consistency was chewy, like they didn’t trim the fat off before chopping. On the second visit, there was a noted improvement to this dish, though it seemed to lack a bit of seasoning.
The sides were decent. I liked the creamed spinach, despite it being a bit thin or watery. The mac & cheese was delicious, however, with an awesome cheese crust on the top.
As for dessert, the tiramisu and cream puffs tasted homogeneous. Similar textures (aside from the crunch of the profiterole shell), similar flavors… dull. The profiterole shells, I think, need to be dusted with powdered sugar right when they come out of the fryer. They tasted a bit savory rather than sweet. The chocolate mousse they sat upon was delicious, however.
Seafood Selection: 9
Decent selection of seafood, even a manly fish like swordfish made its presence known on the menu. There are good sounding alternatives for the vaginal.
Service: 8
Good service, attentive. There was an assortment of varied warm and room temperature table breads to snack on.
They ranged from sweet to salty. Butter was still cold, and steak sauce tasted like it was 90% ketchup.
Ambiance: 7
At first I hated the place. Dimly lit with red tones all over, typical framed photos of celebs on the walls, a cheap looking but pretty gas fireplace on the back wall of the first floor dining room, and cheese-bag electronic lounge music playing like we are at “Centro-Fly” from a decade ago. But then the music switched to instrumental funk, jazz and crooner… and we went upstairs… WOW – Beautiful view of the lit trees out the floor to ceiling windows in the front of the building. Non-traditional and small, but stunning.
On my second visit, the music was more along the “golden oldies” lines, and I still liked the upstairs better than the downstairs.
