My wife received a box of these fuckers as a gift from her cousin. These guys are pretty good. They have a lightly sweet and slightly spicy seasoning to them. They’re very airy and crisp, and really shine when you add some lime juice to them. Good product.
My wife picked up a pair of packs of this Side Project brand jerky while we were waiting to board our flight to Hawaii. Check out the cool logo of a bovine in a top hat:
We sampled thr two flavors on the plane: Mongolian and Philly Cheese Steak.
The interesting thing about this brand is that they stamp each pack with dates for when they were dried and packed, right there next to the ingredients list and nutritional info.
Pretty cool. When you rip the packs open, you will find a thick vacuum sealed plastic pouch containing the meat:
No doubt this preserves the freshness.
We first tried the Mongolian flavor. It was peppery, garlicky, and had good meat flavor. I was expecting a higher spice level for its claim that it would make Ghengis proud. But the texture was good, and it even had some sesame seeds embedded. Not wet, not dry, not sticky and not tough. It passed all hurdles that can usually trip up a jerky.
Surprisingly the cheese steak flavor was where all the spice was residing. It was light on cheese flavor but bold on pepper. I liked it.
Overall I was very satisfied with the product and I would definitely eat it again.
A while back, it somehow became a thing that me, my wife (who was at the time still my girlfriend), my brother and some friends and cousins would go to our local Starbucks in Sayville, Long Island and sit out front, smoke tobacco pipes, play the ancient game of Go, talk about cool shit, and occasionally drink coffee.
I was never a coffee guy, so I typically got snacks or other drinks. But we were ritually going every Tuesday. As a result, birthday and holiday gifts starting coming in the form of Starbucks gift cards. Eventually my wife and I had more money in Starbucks gift cards than we knew what to do with, so we consolidated them all onto one card and put the money towards an espresso machine that Starbucks sold in-house.
We had that machine in a box for about 8 years and never touched it. I think we maybe tried to use it once but it seemed too confusing. We rarely ever drank coffee, so why bother anyway?
Espresso, though, is really the only coffee that we DO have on occasion. Usually when we were tired after a meal and still needed to be awake to get to the train for the hellish commute back home.
Fast-forward to my insane running regimen. Suddenly now I’m really tired some mornings after running several miles before 9am. “Hey we still have that espresso machine… let me try to figure it out now.” I pulled it out of retirement and figured out how to use it for those tired mornings.
But I quickly started to pass on the entire effort. First, it was a learning curve to figure out just how to get the machine to produce exactly the kind of coffee that I like. Second, it was a hassle to always have to grind, scoop, pack, fiddle with the machine to get it going, rinse, clean, etc. It was a 20 minute ordeal every time. Just when I started to get it down to a science I was starting to give up on it.
Enter Nespresso. My brother has had one for a while and I was always interested in it. Eventually I cracked and purchased one, the Inissia model.
Quick, clean, convenient and cheap, since I was able to apply some credit via Groupon Goods. I paid $62. Pods aren’t cheap, ranging from $0.70 to $0.77 a pop, but they’re worth it when you factor in the quality of the coffee and time saved in making it. Plus, from what I hear, they are much better than the Nespresso-compatible capsules by Bestpresso and Gourmesso. Since Nespresso’s capsule patent expired, others have started making them as competition. So far I’ve only had the real-deal pods:
The great part is the variety of flavors, styles and roasts. I tend to favor strong espresso, no cream but with a little bit of brown sugar.
I recently went on a jerky spree at our local Trader Joe’s market. After sampling some various jerky brands here on the site, I jumped at the opportunity to get these flavors from Trader Joe’s.
Why? Because they were both unique and VERY cheap – at least $1 or $2 cheaper than the “brand name” shit. So I grabbed every single flavor I could find that day in the store. Here’ we go:
Wild King Salmon
Probably my favorite of the lot, which I was really shocked about. Fish jerky, which I never even thought about before, just didn’t strike me as something even remotely appetizing. I thought I’d hate it, but I loved it. It was a bit too salty, but the texture is the consistency of dry, thick cut bacon and it even tasted similar. Awesome. I’ll be getting this again, and possibly eating it with a bagel and cream cheese or something to cut the saltiness a little.
Sweet Sri Racha Uncured Bacon
This reminded me of pre-cooked bacon but better quality and with a sweet and spicy flavor to it. I guess it’s somewhat similar to the Spicy Bacon Candy that my wife makes on occasion. The sweet comes from something in the maple flavor family, if I had to guess, and the heat is obviously from chili paste.
Teriyaki Turkey
This was pretty standard in terms of flavor – nothing new or unique – but it was executed nicely. It was juicy, yet not wet. It had nice flavor, and was thick but not too chewy.
Sweet & Spicy Buffalo
This was lean and tasty. It wasn’t too tough and it didn’t require heavy chewing, and that goes for all the flavors, really. The spice comes in at the end on this, which is really enjoyable.
Teriyaki Beef
This, like the turkey, is standard issue, but again very good quality. If you like a traditional, meaty beef jerky with a common flavor kick, then this is for you.
Landjager is a traditional semi-dry sausage product reminiscent of jerky sticks, but more natural. My wife brought home this package:
Here’s what I found on Tannenhof: they seem to be a purveyor of cured meats. Their products look tasty. Schwarzwalder seems to be a type of landjager, since I see other brands using the moniker, but it seems that all landjager are made of roughly equal amounts of pork, beef and lard.
“Savory snack” is written beneath the word landjager. I think you can guess that the green emblem says “traditional specialty” and “guaranteed quality,” since English is a Germanic language and all that nonsense… Anyway here’s what they look like – there were actually two pair of links in the package:
The sausages themselves are very smoky in flavor. They’re somewhat hard like a pepperoni in texture, but not as spiced. They seem to be real sausages and not some mashed up conglomerate like a Slim Jim, though I suppose anyone can mold them to look like real sausages. Take a look at the cross-section and decide for yourself.
The smell is reminiscent of raw hide dog treats. They taste okay – no added flavors other than smoke and whatever spices were used in the initial sausage making, but it was tough for me to get beyond that dog snack smell, having had German Shepherds all my life and giving them snacks that smelled exactly like this. If I can’t snack on them, they might be good to cook with as a smoky flavor enhancer in something like split pea soup.
One last thing: Don’t hassle the Tannenhof.
My wife’s uncle told me about these snack bars near the checkout at Whole Foods, so I picked up one of each flavor that I could find: turkey with almond and cherry; lamb with currant and mint; uncured bacon and pork; beef with habanero and cherry; and bison with bacon and cranberry.
I first tried the uncured bacon and pork bar. It was similar to a spam type thing. It had a smoked pork flavor, but it was a bit salty and I wasn’t overwhelmed with joy.
Next was the Beef with habanero and cherry. This description had promise. I was expecting some heat from the habanero but it was a bit flat. Also, unfortunately, the texture of this bar was a bit grainy. I suppose if I had approached it with the expectation of a soft, moist beef jerky, then I might have been happier with it.
The lamb bar was really good. It wasn’t gamey or heavy. It was light, had a good flavor and was satisfying.
Then I tried the turkey bar. This was nice and smoky. It has a slight grainy texture, but it was very enjoyable. The smoke, combined with the sweetness and vibrant cranberry, made for a dynamic flavor combination.
Last was the bison. The bacon was subtle, and a very nice addition to the bar. The sweetness of the cranberry again made for a juicy flavor pop. This bar wasn’t grainy at all, so I think i tended up being my favorite.
One thing I did notice with these bars (all but the turkey) is that every so often you get a bite of rubbery cartilage bits that are unsavory. I guess it is to be expected with a sausage-like product.
I follow Carnivore Club on Instagram due to the high quality images of incredible meats that they post. When I’m telling you that they post some of the best quality foodporn, I’m being dead serious…
They’re located somewhere far, far away from NYC, so I figured I’d really never get to try one of their boxes of products unless I spent big dough and ordered something online to have it shipped. Well, to my surprise, they were offering a Groupon deal! There was a massive discount on a premium box of meats (along with a $15 credit to use on your next purchase).
A premium box is a real wood humidor of sorts.
A subscriber can get monthly deliveries of high-end meats at their doorstep. This is what the unboxing looks like:
There are generally four meats per box, though not all boxes are this amazing. Mine was filled with iberico shit:
Again, mine was a premium box (which is generally much more costly), made of real wood, nice hidden hinges, ultra high quality meats, etc. The regular packaging is a faux wooden box, still very smart looking. But take a look. Mine even came with the humidity gauge and shit.
“Satisfy your inner carnivore” is printed on the box, as well as an image of their logo.
Okay so let’s get down to the goods here. The box came with four meats, and I’m going to review each one and provide some pretty pictures.
The first thing I did was to slice up some of the chorizo, which you saw in the video above.
If you treat your meat like you would treat your own dick, you’re always going to enjoy it. This stuff was super flavorful. It wasn’t overly spicy to the point where you couldn’t keep shoveling slices down your throat. The fat content was soft and malleable, melts between the heat of your fingers. Really nice.
This next shot is everything together. The chorizo, plus the other three packaged meats.
The top left is the chorizo that I sliced, so we will skip that, since I already talked about it. The top right was another type of chorizo. This one was softer, a little more moist, had less fat content and a more smoky flavor. Clearly they had different diameters too. I really thought I was going to get jipped here with two of the same type of meat, as far as flavor goes, but the two chorizos were very different from one another. The bottom right was the salchichon. Like the chorizo, this had good melty fat content, but it was a more mild and more pure flavor. You could taste the meat, unencumbered, because it wasn’t laden with spices. Very crisp. The sparse peppercorns really made it pop too. The bottom left was the dry cured ham. This was really soft. It had the texture of a very high quality prosciutto, with a clean flavor. Really nice meat, excellent non-stringy fat. It wasn’t paper thin, but the flesh was so soft to the touch that it was difficult to get each slice up in one piece. That’s freaking tender shit!
Overall this was a great buy. If I didn’t get a Groupon deal, I might have thought it was a little overpriced, but then again I am not a rich bastard. Some of you bank-makers out there might find this to be a good price given the supreme quality of meat that you get in each box. So give Carnivore Club a try. I think you’ll like it.
UPDATE
Since I had a credit with Carnivore Club, I ordered a regular box. The quality is once again incredible. Take a look at the unboxing here:
Inside, there is a card that tells you all about the meats you are about to eat, along with suggested pairings like cheeses.
Here’s what they look like unwrapped – like shriveled penises:
While a shriveled penis is admittedly not the greatest look in the world, I’m pretty certain that these taste much better than a shriveled penis. If any of you have had both, give me your opinions.
So as I was going over my note card along with my packaged meats, I noticed something. The “salami picante,” #4 on the note card, was swapped out for “campo seco.” It seems the provider ran out of the salami picante and substituted the campo seco instead, but Carnivore Club was unaware and unable to update the note card in time for the shipment.
No bother to me, really, other than the fact that campo seco and cerveza seca were somewhat similar in both look and flavor. Cerveza seca was a bit leaner, however, while campo seco had large blobs of delicious fatty white spots throughout – most of which were surprisingly tender.
The chorizo was good. Not too potent and garlicky, as some can be, and it had a mild heat to it that didn’t overpower.
The clear winner by far, however, was the “trufa seca” truffle sausage. It was coated with a sea salt and was vibrantly flavored with that earthy and robust truffle flavor. Absolutely delicious. I’ve never tasted something so unique in this kind of product.
I highly recommend purchasing meat from this supplier, which was Charlito’s Cocina. And if it isn’t obvious, I am a big fan of Carnivore Club. This box alone would cost WAY more if all items were purchased separately, so you’re getting a good deal along with such great service. I let Carnivore Club know about the swapped sausage issue for #4, and they insisted on sending me the salami picante even over my protestations. Good people!
This product is an incredible collaboration effort between the Saint Lucifer Spice Company and the Righteous Felon Jerky Cartel. The Saint Lucifer folks sent over a complementary package of this jerky when I queried them for a sample of their spice for review.
This is high quality dry style beef jerky seasoned with their incredible garlic habanero spice. I reviewed Saint Lucifer HERE, so make sure you check that out as well.
The jerky was non-malleable and almost dry or brittle (for lack of a better word) to the touch, but it wasn’t too chewy or tough to get through with your teeth. The meat was actually very tender and flavorful, with a nice robust smoked beef taste. The more I ate, the more I craved.
I actually enjoy a dry style jerky as opposed to some of the wet, sticky and messy jerkies that are out there on the market, so don’t get the wrong idea about my comments above. The spice level was just right, I thought. It had enough potency to let me know it was there, but not too much to the point where I needed a break from the heat. Nicely balanced.
If you don’t already know what Saint Lucifer Spice is, I’m about to give you a kick-ass run-down of the product. I came across this shit on Instragram, and I’ve been salivating ever since laying my eyes on it. Who knew that seeing a powdered spice could illicit such a physical response?
You’re all familiar with chili powder, crushed red pepper, paprika, black pepper, and cayenne pepper spices, from your shitty little spice racks that swivel and take up counter space in your kitchen. You know what’s missing? Habanero. Yes, yes, yes… Everyone and their mother has a bottle of habenero pepper SAUCE. But no one has it in a fucking spice shaker.
Many people flinch in horror when spice hits their lips, but that just means they aren’t eating their spice properly. Mixed with a sweet element, hot peppers can add tremendous diversity of flavor to an otherwise bland dish.
Tolerance to spicy foods may vary, but habanero pepper is amazing. It’s super hot up front, but then it cools off real quick. Unlike jalapeno or other chili peppers, the heat dissipates quicker. In other words, habanero is a sprinter and the other peppers are long distance runners.
What Ted Ebert and Tom Hewell, creators of Saint Lucifer, have done is to create a unique granulated habanero pepper spice that can be used on anything from grilled veggies to breakfast eggs to gourmet entrees of all protein variations. Ted and Tom’s goal is to get this spice into homes and professional kitchens everywhere, to be as well known and familiar as all the other spices in your rack, with the brand loyalty that you give to other products that you might keep in your kitchen. Given the massive success of Huy Fong’s Sri Racha sauce in recent years, I think there is a wide open market for something like Saint Lucifer, in the dry spice category. Although it is clearly a different pepper than Sri Racha (chili, with lots of garlic), I think the people who love a little heat will definitely be all over this.
Anyway, back to me… I found these guys on Instagram a long time ago and I’ve been following them since. Then it hit me. Why not ask them if I can try it? I’ve reviewed other products on here, typically when they have contacted me. But I needed to do something bold and aggressive, like Saint Lucifer spice itself. I contacted them. I wrote a comment on one of their burger photos, saying that I’d love to sample their product and write a review. The next morning I awoke to an email in my inbox asking for an address where they could send me a sample.
I was psyched. I eagerly awaited this bottle of magic powder’s arrival to my apartment. And to pass the time, I dreamed up various recipes involving the spice… and they’re really simple to execute too:
Devil Tacos
1) Coat some skirt or flank steak with Saint Lucifer Spice.
2) Grill for two to three minutes per side, depending on thickness.
3) While the meat rests, warm up some soft tortillas.
4) Also while the meat rests, prep some cilantro, onions, sour cream and jack cheese for a cooling taco filling.
5) After resting, slice the steak into thin strips for taco filling (cut on the bias for tenderness).
6) Slice up a lime (or any sweet citrus element, really).
7) Fill your tortillas, and squeeze some citrus juice on before eating.
Note: That sweet tartness from the lime/citrus will pair perfectly with the habanero of the Saint Lucifer spice and cut it ever so slightly. Trust me. Your taste buds will thank you.
Satan’s Fried Chicken Sandwich
1) Grab a pack of thinly sliced chicken breast from the grocery store.
2) Crack a few eggs into a bowl and mix/scramble.
3) Create a breading mixture using breadcrumbs, panko and a teaspoon of Saint Lucifer Spice.
4) Drag your chicken filets through the egg dredge and batter them with the spicy breadcrumbs.
5) Fry your chicken to golden brown in hot oil.
6) Hit your still-hot chicken with a mixture of Saint Lucifer spice and salt to lock in the seasoning after they come out of the fryer/hot oil.
7) As the chicken cools, quickly prep some lettuce, tomato, onion and sliced apple.
Note: This step is for adding additional crunch and a little sweet juiciness to cut the spice. If you have coleslaw laying around, you could use that as well. And if buying an apple is too much work for you, you can also use the pickles that you have sitting in your fridge, floating around in murky water like a shit that never got flushed.
8) Mix a few shakes of Saint Lucifer spice into mayonnaise.
9) Apply some of that spiced mayonnaise onto each half of a potato bun. A soft, sweet bun is key, like Martin’s or King’s Hawaiian.
10) Assemble sandwich and eat.
Breakfast at Lucifer’s
This one is pretty easy, because one way to go about the process is to just shake Saint Lucifer onto your favorite breakfast egg dish. I like eggs over easy with hash browns and bacon for breakfast. You can simply spice them all up with some Saint Lucifer. If you have hairy balls, you can even add a few shakes of Saint Lucifer into your orange juice (or Bloody Mary, for that matter). I swear that shit is fucking good. Orange + habanero is fucking amazing. I used to soak fresh habaneros in my cartons of orange juice to give it a nice kick. However, if you want to take breakfast to the next level, another idea here is to use the Saint Lucifer spice while you are cooking your bacon. Coat the bacon in some spice first, then fry it off in a pan. Afterwards, leave the bacon grease in the pan (or save the bacon grease in tupperware) so you can later use it to fry your hash browns and eggs. I like hash browns with a little diced onion and fresh peppers. Adding the spicy bacon grease would take it to the next level of awesome.
By the way, The Saint Lucifer website has a bunch of recipes on there already. If mine don’t tickle your balls, maybe theirs will. CLICK HERE to see them.
Okay so my dreams were now ready to become a reality. I received my Saint Lucifer spice package! I was impressed that it was even accompanied by a hand-written note.
I couldn’t believe it. This next bit was like providence. The bottle of spice tumbled out along with a bag of beef jerky!
Are you kidding me?!?? I JUST started my jerky page the other day, and when I was browsing the Saint Lucifer website in my research of their product, I was really intrigued by the jerky that I saw there for sale. Holy fuck… what a bonus that they included it! The jerky is flavored with Saint Lucifer, and it is cleverly called Halo Diablo jerky, which they made as a collaborative effort with the Righteous Felon jerky brand. I’ll stick to the review of Saint Lucifer here. You can check out the Halo Diablo Jerky review afterwards if you want.
My first instinct was to go right to the ingredients. Nice and simple, easy to read, no chemicals, no bullshit. Only five things were listed: that’s it! Garlic, salt, paprika, vinegar, and habanero peppers.
The taste starts off as sweet and vinegary, with a garlic nose. Then the spice creeps up. Dry and hot, like the desert, but not too cranked up to the point where you are crying and your ears are throbbing. It’s a good heat; a heat you can cook with or just dabble on as you see fit. The smell is a sharp hit of sweet garlic up front with a sweet lingering vinegar aroma. Then there’s an undertone of something evil lurking beneath the surface, something that might fuck you up if you sniff too hard or dive too deep. The habanero…
The shaker hole opening size is good for this powderized product. It’s not too big where you will accidentally dump too much out if you’re not careful, and not too small where you are shaking forever just to get a few dandruff particles out.
The beer bottle cap is in there so you can gauge the size of the holes easier with that being a familiar/known size reference.
As you can see, the color of this stuff is like fire put into solid, powder form. It’s actually a really aesthetic and beautiful blend of reds, yellows and oranges.
Suggestions for improvement: Nothing, really. This spice is awesome as-is. One thought I had though, perhaps, would be a version of the spice that is JUST habanero: no garlic, no salt, no paprika and no vinegar. I know Huy Fong makes some spicy sambal sauce products both in a garlic version and a non-garlic version. I always prefer non-garlic because I like to cook with fresh garlic, rather than powdered/dried, which can sometimes be overwhelming and inadvertently boost the sodium content of foods too much.
Suggestions for companion products: How about a ground jalapeno pepper spice, or a ground chipotle spice? Like granulated habanero powder, I don’t normally see those in the grocery store. That would make for a great three-pack gift set, and it would corner the market on unusual pepper powders in one fell swoop.
Either way I see a big future for Saint Lucifer, and I’m glad I have it in my spice cabinet. Congratulations, Ted and Tom, on creating an awesome new ingredient and food glorifier.
So where can you get it? CLICK HERE for a list of all retailers that have this shit on the shelves in their stores. Or you can navigate to their online store and buy it directly from them.
FOR THE GLORY OF HOT!
This stuff is nothing shy of amazing. So far this might be the best tasting jerky that I’ve ever had. The only down-side is that it is messy as fuck to eat. This isn’t ideal for laying on the couch and popping into your mouth while you watch a movie of flip through the TV channels. Who does that anymore, anyway? We fucking scroll through the on-screen guide looking for something better than whatever channel the TV happens to be on, or we comb our DVR’s for a show we can finally start to binge-watch, now that there are more than five of six of them recorded. Anyway… Back to business. You need a plate and several napkins when you eat this stuff. It’s fucking crazy messy. You’ll be shocked when you see how far some of the bits and pieces of tasty shit fly when you pull it apart for smaller, more manageable-sized pieces. Pictured below are the regular and spicy beef versions, but they have tons of variety to choose from. The spicy is VERY spicy. I love it.
You can score this shit in most Asian markets, or dry goods stores around Chinatown. The wording on the package is Vietnamese, and roughly translates to something like King Beef Jerky, according to my wife.
Here are some close-ups.
Spicy:
Regular:
