My awesome wife and I rocked the shit out of this place with my awesome cousin and his equally awesome wife after said awesome cousin told me how awesome the burger was at this place. I must say that I agree with the call that this burger was as every bit as awesome as described. But we also had some other awesome shit as well.
What, you might ask? How about this awesome cucumber, coconut water and gin drink?
The awesome appetizers we took down consisted of three awesome plates of food.
First were these awesome deviled eggs. These little fucks were whipped up with black bean paste, soy sauce and black garlic, then topped with some sliced onion and a dot of sriracha sauce.
Next up was this awesome plate of roasted carrots. These were topped with puffed, caramelized squash seeds and served alongside a spicy hummus. These were fuck-yo-mamma-in-the-ass good. Light, yet hearty and filling.
Last of the starters was what I consider to be the most awesome cheese in the entirety of the cheese industry. Burrata. Here it was served with some confit tomatoes and anchovies, with a little toast and olive oil as well. I’ve had better/softer burrata at other joints, but this was a really tasty item.
Now that the awesome foreplay scene is done, we can eagerly move on to the full blown penetration. I’m talking’ some deep, cervix-mashing penetration.
This “Fedora Burger” is… how can I put this… awesome. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare, topped with house made pickles (light, maybe a quarter sour, more like cucumbers than pickles), crispy potato shreds, red onions, smoked cheddar and BBQ mayo. The bun was strong yet soft and pliable – it stood up well to the burger, and it even had a little toast to it for good measure. Take a look at this little slut:
And like all awesome sluts, they’re still pink on the inside.
My awesome wife ordered the special for the day, which was a Cuban sandwich. This sandwich was a big ol’ bitch. Extremely buttery and toasty on the outside, and porky grilled cheese-like on the inside, this Cuban was intense.
However, as awesome as the Cuban was, that fucking whore burger shined brighter than the mother fucking North Star in comparison, as if leading all of our taste buds directly to Jesus God-damned Baby Christ in his hay-filled and barnyard-animal-surrounded manger.
The little fucking poor-ass drummer boy even tried to use a pair of half-crisped herbed french fries to wail away on that perfect burger-drum for the King of Kings on his birthday. The fries packed some good flavor but still needed a little crisp to make them worthy of the word awesome.
The place got awesomely packed. I snapped a pic of the bar area and some wall art, as well as the not-so-awesome bill, which was a little high but worth every penny.
So that’s 21 times that I used the word awesome. <= That’s 22.
Stopped off in this place to test out their banh mi sandwich – classic style, of course. The bread was toasty and warm, and the veggies and herbs were all nice and fresh. Not my favorite, but it was okay for a much needed fix.
The pho here is pretty good as well. Nice robust flavor. I’ve had better for cheaper, but the quality of the ingredients here seemed to be a little better.
HANOI VIETNAMESE KITCHEN
448 9th St.
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Walked past this little banh mi and pho shop on the way home from Talde and picked up a classic style sandwich to try. It was a little pricey for the size, but it was tasty nonetheless. I’ve had better at other places, but this place is okay if you’r win a bind and need a Vietnamese banh mi fix. Here it is:
My wife and I primarily came here because I was frantic to try the Thanksgiving ramen that was recently added to the seasonal menu. We ended up trying the kimchi ramen too, as well as a few other items, because, well, we think Dale Talde is pretty awesome from the handful of times we’ve met him and from his kickass appearances on the Top Chef shows.
I started with a massive 33oz Asahi beer. Manly.
Then we had some wings. These were sweet and spicy. They had a nice batter but that got soggy due to too much sauce without enough crisp underneath. The flavor was excellent with the cilantro and peanuts on top, and the buttermilk ranch dipping sauce, but I was hoping for a bit more crispiness.
The Thanksgiving ramen was a turkey stock filled with wavy egg noodles, sliced turkey, sliced stuffing, cranberries, mushrooms, and spinach dumplings. It was then that was topped with gravy.
spinach dumpling
The flavor was unique and definitely Thanksgiving-ish. The tangy cranberries gave it a burst of brightness that you typically get from pickled items in a traditional ramen dish, and the dumplings were a nice bonus that was not expected. I just wished there was dark meat along with the sliced white meat.
The kimchi ramen was spicy and bold. The pork was tasty, and the kimchi was pickled spicy style. A nice bowl of noodles (also wavy egg noodles). However this bold flavor may be a bit overwhelming to have an entire bowl for yourself.
Last was the Filipino pork dish. Essentially this was thin sliced pork meat, non-expertly grilled and served in a clay pot that wasn’t hot enough to get the rice crispy, yet just warm enough to sap the liquids out of the wet pork to make a puddle of meat juice on the bottom. That made for wet, soupy rice. The “6 minute egg” (aka poached egg) was nice but it only made for an even more soupy bowl of rice. We decided this dish would be better if we took it home and fried it up in a hot cast iron pan to try to get some texture into the rice. Not a successful dish. Sounded so good from the menu description though.
This little Irish pub is right around the block from my apartment. Allow the pic below of the signage to fuck with your mind a little…
I was shocked to see the prices so low ($12 for a burger and fries), being they are located on 7th Avenue right near Central Park. I figured it for a tourist trap, but the inside is cozy and inviting, with great light from the windows.
I had heard there was a decent burger here, so I had to check it out.
I had the regular burger with american cheese. The cheese was a bit odd – not in a bad way, just different. It was like the shredded kind you see in a bag to sprinkle over nachos. My burger was a bit over cooked and a bit dry, but it was at least still tasty.
My wife had the Gaelic burger, which was topped with swiss cheese, sautéed onions and confit garlic. Her’s was cooked better and was much juicier, but the bun didn’t hold up well – it got a little messy when eating.
The fries were good and golden-crisp, and the place had some cool beer cocktails that are worth trying. We had the Patch & Orchard and Harvey Weissbanger.
To sum up: I’d probably go back for the convenience and atmosphere factors, but maybe I’d be more careful to order my burger medium rare or rare next time, instead of medium.
A buddy of mine who keeps Kosher suggested that I try this place with him. I didn’t really know what to expect when it came to Kosher meats. It turns out to be every bit as awesome as regular meat.
This place is a pop-up at the hotel, and not 100% steak house per se, though you certainly get that feel from looking at the menu. Also, we came in for a quick bite at the bar – just entrees – so I feel like I can’t give this place the full JP review with all 10 categories just yet. For now, I will stick to the meat and booze.
I sank my teeth into a nice juicy 10-spice prime rib eye. It had a psychotic crust on it that locked in all the great juices. It was nicely cooked to a medium rare / medium temperature (though the flash photo kind of drowns out the color). Fries were nice too, with a sort-of cajun seasoning mix on them. 8/10.
My buddy had the roasted chicken, which was really tender and juicy through and through. Nicely prepared.
Jules, bartender mixed a fucking great martini, and had excellent suggestions in terms of the food choices. Only down side at the bar was that the cable in the joint didn’t broadcast all the necessary sports channels, so we couldn’t watch the end of the Rangers game that my buddy wanted to catch. Nice windows and beautiful view of the city from in here too.
Here’s the damage – not too bad at all: likely because Jules hooked us up with a round of drinks, which was totally unexpected and awesome. Thanks, brother.
PRIME AT THE BENTLEY HOTEL
500 E. 62nd St.
New York, NY 10065
This place intrigued me after I tasted some of their suppliers meats at the wine and food festival. I figured I would give their burger a shot. It was good – lots of flavor. I’d put it above Bareburger but perhaps not quite as good as Penrose. The bread was durable yet soft, the meat was nicely cooked and well handled. The fries were perfectly golden brown and crispy.
Pete’s is the oldest continuously operating establishment in NYC. It opened in 1864 and has not closed or switched locations since.
What’s cool here is that the old cashier’s cage is still right there at the end of the bar. It used to be that the cashier would sit in the cage with the money/register to be protected from being robbed.
They even have this funny old sign for how to live on $15 a week:
The bartender Phil was awesome too; really friendly guy, easy to talk with, outgoing and generally just made the place a great spot to hang out. I hadn’t ever been in here before (shame on me), but he suggested coming back around Christmas time when the lights are up at the bar. Definitely. Thanks Phil!
Anyway we saw this burger on the menu and figured it had to be tried for our second burger of the night:
It turned out to be a bit of a let down. The meat was excellent, as to be expected, but there was not enough cheese. Also the tomato was sliced too thick – almost as thick as the burger patty. The waffle fries were done perfectly though.
A friend of mine met up with me and my buddy here while we were eating before he met with some broad for a date. He was hungry too, so he ordered the regular burger and we all shared:
This was much better eating: definitely better than the huntsman burger. Although my buddy was a little cranked about a pricing discrepancy (bar menu on the wall that he ordered from did not match the printed menu that he was charged from), and the burger was cooked a little under how he wanted it (I would have been fine with that temp – look at it – it looks perfect!), it was indeed a good burger. I think I would take the Old Town burger over this one though, but it was close.
In sum, this was an amazing bar to hang out in. It’s an absolutely amazing piece of NYC history, and it will definitely stay that way with staff like Phil at the bar, who make the place even better.
If burgers ain’t your thing, then try one of their extremely fair-priced brunch deals that range from $12-$15 for three courses, or maybe their delicious corned beef sandwich:
Old Town is one of NYC’s oldest and most awesome bars. It opened in 1892 and has remained relatively unchanged since.
Even the urinals are old, and big (for big cocks): the kind that used to be at the Village Idiot, Ear Inn, Gallagher’s and Pastis.
Anyway the burger here is supposed to be pretty good, as is the burger over at Pete’s down the block, so my buddy had the brilliant idea that we set out to try a few burgers in the area in one night. We ended up hitting three places, because we have massive balls swinging between our legs. Here is the Old Town burger:
This was easily the best burger of the night. Juicy, nicely cooked, a good amount of cheese. Nice and simple. The only down side was that the fries were a bit under-seasoned, and the bun was a little hard or crumbly after toasting. Stick with the potato bun!
Parlor is an exclusive, private social club that has a unique focus on fine dining and creations from chef Hilary Ambrose, who was previously a sous chef at Bouley, according to the materials I was sent.
About a week or so ago I received what I thought was yet another wedding invitation: another summons for a gift, as Seinfeld would put it. When I looked closely, I noticed that it was a special invitation for me and a guest to dine for free at this exclusive, invite-only social club.
The invitation included some press, some info about the restaurant, a sample menu, and a secret link to make a reservation for their preview dinner. I had originally included said link here in this review, but the people at Parlor politely asked me to remove it. I’ll play ball, I guess. Read on…
After browsing the website, and poking around at some reviews online, I found that membership is $1500 a year, plus a minimum $250 bar tab per quarter. Meals are “free” for up to four people, but not including a $10 per seat charge, plus the cost of drinks, tax and tip (which they automatically include in the bill at 20%, yet they still suggest that you tip an additional $10 per head on top of that). You can go as often as you want; you just need to make reservations ahead of time.
This isn’t a terrible deal, if it weren’t for the fact that my wife and I are constantly going to new places on a regular basis. If I had felt content in having been to all the greatest restaurants in NYC, if I felt the need to impress people with fancy and exclusive members-only type environments, or if I wanted a home-base kind of place to always go to for a solid meal once a week, I would certainly entertain the idea of joining a dining club (though maybe not this one). The fact that this place is recruiting little-old-me tells me that lots of people with their fingers on the pulse of NYC’s food scene think the same way that I do. Exclusive food clubs seem to be for pretentious people like the investment bankers in American Psycho, in the 80’s, or loser kids who need to create a social networking website and a facade of coolness in order to feel as if they’re well-liked. I’m not above dining with the masses. Food just needs to be good: it doesn’t need to be elitist or exclusive.
I was invited to join a free, exclusive underground dining club run by a celebrity chef about six months ago as well. Both my wife and I joined, created our online profiles, etc., but we haven’t bothered to go to any events yet. There are just too many amazing regular places to go to. My wife and I don’t want to commit to any one restaurant or one chef. We are enjoying being food whores.
If we joined a place like this we’d always feel like we would have to go and “get our money’s worth” and eat enough meals to tally up to the $2500+ yearly cost of membership. My wife compared it to a timeshare vacation. She’s absolutely right! It’s a timeshare restaurant. HA!
But hey – timeshares aren’t NOT for everyone. In other words, if you plan to use your membership well, then go for it! This could be the perfect thing for someone who needs to constantly entertain new clients, or who wants to impress friends or family, etc. I don’t mean to say all this to mock the place or to shit on members-only clubs. Not at all. My point is that it’s just not for me.
Alright enough of the commentary. Let’s get to what matters the most: the fucking food!
My buddy that I brought as a guest loved the concept and was intrigued by the atmosphere. I had somewhat of a soured flavor in my mind because my wife and I had our preview dinner reservation revoked a few weeks back due to over-crowding, despite making the reservation several weeks in advance. I believe Paul Mitchell (hair products guy) was in the house, so things were a bit hectic when we arrived. My wife had no interest in going back after that, and neither did I, really… but I thought my friend might enjoy it so I re-scheduled. I figured I may as well give it a shot to see what it was all about.
We started with an amuse of sweet corn financier. Or as normal people call it: corn bread. It was a little dry to be honest.
I snapped this and then soon realized I needed the flash.
The appetizer, which was by far the best part of the meal, was a slow poached egg with shaved chicken and shaved truffle, then topped with a parmesan froth and a crispy asparagus spear that was crusted with rice cake crisps on the bottom. The egg was nicely cooked – not too snotty, great yolk consistency, good flavor from the truffle without being too heavy.
The main course was a choice of swordfish or lamb porterhouse. I went with the lamb, naturally. It was an extremely small portion; maybe four to six ounces, max. I was hoping for two or three of these, since they are essentially two small “medallions” on each side of the t-bone. It was served with a yogurt cream, leek, potato and assorted veggies/greens. The meat was nicely executed and well seasoned, but I think the stars of the plate were the little tomato ball-bombs that you see nestled in the yogurt cream. They were bursting with flavor and juice.
My buddy had the swordfish. It was pretty good, though maybe just a bit overcooked. Also small in terms of portion size; the fish is maybe a 2.5in cube. We were definitely still hungry coming out of the entree course.
For dessert there was espresso ice cream with milk froth, goat’s milk caramel and hazelnuts. This was a nice, flavorful ice cream. It sort of looked like a mushroom from Super Mario Brothers, which is great, but we were still hungry after finishing the meal.
So, our “free” meal cost us $72 and we were still hungry afterwards. Now imagine having to pay another $1500 each year in membership fees. Nah. I’ll pass.
The best part of the experience here was this drink that my friend had at the bar: the Hudson Frost. Sort of like a white Russian who is on vacation in Hawaii and got drunk on an Italian digestif. Seriously though – great cocktail.
So I was thinking about the meal, the atmosphere, the space, etc., while pissing in the bathroom. They have these black and white photos of partying celebs and such on the walls. The one in the bathroom looked like JFK Jr. making bull horns while dancing. So we have a bull in the bathroom… next to the toilet… I took a pic. I call my work of art here “BULLSHIT.” A nice apropos closing to a sub-par, supra-priced and generally unfulfilling dining experience:
