188 Cuchifritos

Cuchifritos Frituras, aka 188 Bakery Cuchifritos, was recently featured on Anthony Bourdain’s newest CNN food show, and then written up on Grub Street as a result.

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Yanked directly from Wiki with no shame whatsoever:

“In New York City, vendors advertising cuchifritos are particularly notable because they tend to make use of colorful external lighting and big, flashy signs that quickly catch the eyes of passersby. These establishments have dotted Puerto Rican and Dominican areas of New York City for the past 50 years, particularly Hamilton Heights, Washington Heights, South Bronx, Brooklyn, and other primarily Puerto Rican and Dominican neighborhoods.”

After seeing that it was pretty much meat heaven, I decided that I needed to go and try this shit out ASAP. Check out the wall o’ Dominican cuisine:

something tells me they didn't brother to secure the license to use Porky Pig in their signage... unless he's public domain now
something tells me they didn’t brother to secure the license to use Porky Pig in their signage… unless he’s public domain now

Not knowing what any of it meant, we pretty much just followed the Grub Street outline but made sure to get some of the nasty bits as well. My wife and I were pretty much shot from walking around all day, two stops away up in the Bronx, at a Japanese exhibit at the New York Botanical Gardens. I was also wiped out because the day before I had run a half marathon and then proceeded to walk around for about 20 miles to and from Gotham West Market and for several hours at the NYC Wine & Food Festival.

Needless to say, we stopped in after the park and picked up a sack of food to go – we were anxious to get home, and it was hot, stuffy and crowded in that bustling little pig joint.

But holy shit, were we happy when we got home…

I’m getting right at the titties here – the chicharrones. We ordered both pork and chicken. There’s LOTS of meat on these babies, and the skin is perfectly fried to crisp deliciousness. The portions are rather big too for $6.

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We also grabbed some alcapurrias – sweet, tangy pouch stuffed with meat and spices. These were incredibly tasty. I almost forgot to take a pic of the inside before destroying it.

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Last, the cuchifritos nasty bits. Blood sausage, pig ears, tail, tongue, skin… you name it… plus plantains. My wife likes this kind of offal shit more than I do usually, but I DO get down on it sometimes, especially if it’s done right. Here, they offer a gravy to go with it, but we opted for no gravy – as if we are watching our diet when eating this stuff!  Haha!

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When you eat in the restaurant, which I did on a second trip, you can utilize their awesome hot sauce and spicy pickled veggies.

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The acids definitely help cut the fats down. Excellent food.

188 BAKERY CUCHIFRITOS (CUCHIFRITOS FRITURAS)
158 E. 188th St. #1
Bronx, NY 10468

Kiku (Japanese Pop-Up at Botanical Gardens)

This place is only open for a limited time, while the Japanese gardens exhibit is going on at the New York Botanical Garden (Bronx, not Brooklyn). My wife and I got to see a cool Japanese Taiko drum performance, walked around and looked at some nice Japanese plants and garden shit, and chowed down on some Japanese food.

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Score for having a nice cold beer to cool down with, and a specialty cocktail that my wife nabbed that involved prosecco and some sort of fruit liquor.

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We started with a basic eel and avocado roll. It was pretty good:

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Next was a plate of tempura veggies. These were really light and crispy. Very flavorful. Mushrooms, lotus, asparagus, and broccoli were among the bites here.

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My wife had a chirashi bowl that had a nice variety of really tasty sashimi.

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I had the ramen, of course. I was expecting more, so I was a little let down. It was a basic, thin-style chicken broth with very few pieces of chicken (though the chicken WAS good). Noodles were a bit over cooked, but when it comes to egg wavy noodles I don’t mind that so much. The broth was a little too salty.

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In all the meal was a bit over-priced, service was slow because they were jam-packed and under-staffed, and the seating at the bar was tight and uncomfortable, with no knee/leg room.

Jin

I had heard good things about Jin, a ramen joint way up on Broadway near 125th Street. My wife and I were on our way home from a trip to the botanical garden, so we stopped off for a bowl.

It was pretty good. I had the tonkotsu broth with the spicy shit on the side. Noodles were a little over cooked, but the components and broth were all pretty good. Even with just a little bit of the spicy blob, this thing packed some kick. The spicy paste is also rich with a fermented garlic flavor as well. I’ve had better, softer meat in other places, and some of the mushrooms were a bit chewy, but otherwise I did enjoy it.

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My wife had the green curry coconut chicken ramen, which was really nice. Different, spicy, and lots of flavor:

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On another trip I’d like to try the kim chi ramen.

JIN
462 Amsterdam Ave
New York, NY 10024

McHales

McHale’s was once known for its great burgers. It recently closed, switched locations (slightly) and re-opened. I’m not sure if the management is the same, or the chef, or any of that. The place is gorgeous inside, very classy and old school-ish. And yet they play UFC fight events in there, which is good for me since I am a fan.

On to the burger.

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At $13 for the McHale’s burger with a slice of american and fries, this baby is near perfect. The only downer was the sesame seed bun that was a bit crumbly and got thin along the bottom once the burger was stacked up. It came with lettuce, onion, tomato and pickle. Photo lighting credit goes to my chicken-sandwich eating friend, who sacrificed half an apartment rental commission to dine with yours truly. That’s a $600 chicken sandwich he had!

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Fries were great too – well seasoned and crispy.

MCHALES
251 W. 51st St.
New York, NY 10019

Black Iron Burger

Chalk another burger joint off the list, assholes!

My wife had a work dinner, so my buddy and I came here to see if this place truly lives up to their motto: nobody beats their meat. Verdict? I can beat my own meat better than they can beat their meat. That’s not to say the burger was bad – just that it could use some improvement.

So this time I am happy to report that my buddy strapped on a pair of balls and decided to actually get a burger instead of salad or a chicken sandwich. He almost went with a turkey burger but decided it wouldn’t be worth it, given the lashing he’d get on this review for doing so. Either way, he gets some shit for it. But he did make up for his vaginal tendencies with three manly beers that came in at high ABV content.

On to the beef. I had the black iron burger, the house signature burger. It has two 4oz burgers, two thick slices of horseradish cheddar, horseradish sauce, and caramelized onions. Solid. I added lettuce, tomato, pickle and jalapeño on top of that little slut to make it taste like warm molasses titty milk. I don’t know what that even means – I just had to publish it.

The bread was a little bit lacking. The top of the bun was a little too hard, and the bun itself seemed to crumble a bit as I got further along into the gorging. The meat itself was fine – good quality shit, and good cheese ratio as well. All in all it was a decent meal, despite having to wait a fuck-ass of a long time for a seat because it was more crowded than a whore house near a military base.

So here’s the pr0n:

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It was too dark for photos, so I had to use the fucking flash, which I hate. Also, we did try some fries and onion rings. Both were okay, but you may be better off grabbing some McDonalds fries from around the corner – same style at about half the price, though this joint does offer some french fry variations like garlic herb and other nonsense (they smelled fantastic at neighboring tables).

BLACK IRON BURGER
245 W 38th St
New York, NY 10018

Ear Inn

My buddy, whose opinion I value when it comes to food, swears by the burger at Ear Inn, and also the atmosphere here. Here he is, giving you all the finger in front of my beer:

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It’s an old timey bar, been around for quite some time. It’s housed in a historic building on the far west end of Spring Street in Soho, and it used to sit on the Hudson, before the landfill was added upon the building of the twin towers.

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The burger here is solid, and hats off to my friend who pointed my appetite toward this joint. The star of the show is a nice 8oz fucker served with a salad and roasted potatoes. Nice – I commented that it tasted like a good steak as I was eating it. All it needs is a potato bun and it’s a winner. Take a look at the food porn below:

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EAR INN
326 Spring St.
New York, NY 10013

The Stand

My wife scored a sweet bottomless drinks brunch deal at this little place that had a nice menu. I was torn between the duck eggs benedict and the crab cake eggs benedict. I went with the crab cake one, and my wife went with the portobello burger. Both were delicious. The side salads were a little bit overdressed (more nudity needed), and there seemed to be a disgusting and annoying abundance of flies near our seats in the back (near kitchen door), but otherwise this place was nice. Nice spicy bloody marys, good pineapple mimosas, tasty greyhounds and friendly staff, like our waiter/bartender Graham.

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THE STAND
239 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10003

Genuine Roadside

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS FUCKING CLOSED! Such bullshit…

After hearing good things about this place, and the fact that it was listed in a top 10 or 15 places to get a burger under $10 list, I had to try it. And why not? I love Gotham West Market. If by some wacky turn of shame this place was bad, I could always hit The Cannibal or El Colmado.

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Check out the retro  condiment area:

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Here’s the full menu:

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I grabbed myself a smokehouse burger, which has jalapeño mayo, smoked gouda, bacon, and BBQ sauce on it. This was excellent, especially washed down with a nice shake. I ordered vanilla cardamom, but I was not really able to taste the cardamom.

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Shit was good, and the fries were nice and crisp. I’d put this above Burger Joint easily, and I paid the exact same price for both meals:

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But I wasn’t done there. For dessert I had a fucking classic burger: lettuce, tomato, special sauce, and cheddar. This was great too.

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It was even better with American, as was my photo, on another visit.

Now all that’s left to try is the double cheeseburger, and the buttermilk batter fried chicken sandwich. Fuck yeah.

UPDATE – So I went back and put down a double cheeseburger, the buttermilk fried chicken sandwich, an order of fried pickles and a spicy Mexican chocolate shake. Fucking delicious, everything. This time I was definitely able to taste the spice in the shake. The apple slaw on the juicy, crunchy chicken sandwich was the perfect topping to go with it. Add some Texas Pete hot sauce on that bitch and it is heaven. The double cheeseburger was incredible. Nice flame broiled flavor, nicely cooked, juicy, cheesy and delicious without being sloppy. I even enjoyed the fried pickles. Nice and crisp.

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And here’s the William:

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Breakfast here is pretty fucking fantastic too. I had a fried green tomato BLT with an egg on top. It was hands-down the best breakfast sandwich I’ve ever eaten:

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My wife had the chicken & waffles, which were perfectly executed, and came with a really kick-ass maple butter to slather on top.

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UPDATE 9/3/17

Went back in to try the fried green tomato, chicken sandwich and double burger again. Still excellent as usual. And I grabbed a nice show of the burger again.

GENUINE ROADSIDE
Gotham West Market
600 11th Ave.
New York, NY 10036