I had the rib eye, as usual. it was really nicely cooked, tender, juicy, delicious. The only downside was that the meat was a little bit tight. Not tough, but maybe it didn’t have as much marbling as I had hoped. Also the fat cap was a little bit on the smaller side than I usually like, and less of it was edible than normal. Overall though I really enjoyed my steak (8/10). I tried some of the lamb chops, braised short rib, and the porterhouse as well – all were good, though the porterhouse was a bit overcooked (6/10).
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
The quality here is all prime, and supposedly hand selected by Pat LaFrieda himself! The online menu showed a rib eye for two, but they didn’t have it at the restaurant. Otherwise they had all the basics; porterhouse for multiple even numbers of diners, filet, strip, and rib eye. They also had some alternative meats like pork (which they were out of), veal, lamb and braised short rib. A nice selection.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
With the exception of the sides, the portions are all very generous, and the plating is up to par with other more modern, elegant steakhouses. I’d say my rib eye was upwards of 22oz.
Price: 8
I can’t really complain at all here. At the end of the meal we were given some free booze (see service section). The rib eye was a bit pricey in my opinion, but the other steaks seemed fair (as well as the drinks). See the rest below:
Bar: 8
The bar is nice, though I wonder if the place would have been better arranged if they put the bar closer to the street/windows that in the back. They mixed a good martini though, and they have a great selection of house cocktails that looked (and tasted) great. My martini was $12, which, after spending $20 last week at Del Frisco’s, seemed like a steal (how sad is that?).
Specials and Other Meats: 8
There was no special beef cut, but they did offer some oysters and clams on special. As for other meats, they had braised short rib (which was yummy), lamb chops (also delicious), veal and pork chops (which they were out of).
braised short rib & lamb chops
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We started with some slab bacon, which was fatty and delicious. At $5 a slab it was worth it. We also shared some grilled octopus – it was tasty and bright, but it had less char on it than I had expected. Next we had some grilled calamari stuffed with Greek cheeses. These were very nice. During dinner we had some rosemary oregano fries, which were really crisp, aromatic and tasty. We also tried the creamed spinach and sauteed broccoli rabe with feta. Both were excellent, however there was just not enough of it in each order.
Seafood Selection: 7
They have a decent raw bar and app selection, but other than that it seems to just be sea bass (both Mediterranean and Chilean) and salmon for dinner (along with a crab cake plate).
Service: 10
The service here is absolutely awesome. Our water Salvador was really nice and helpful, and he had great suggestions for drinks and entrees. After dinner we had the great pleasure of chatting with the general manager Jean Christophe for quite a bit of time. He was a chef for many years at various great NYC steakhouses. This man is a class act, and a true gentleman. Both he and our waiter offered us some complimentary after dinner drinks from their high end selections (top notch tequilas and cognacs). I always enjoy meeting the people who run these places. When they truly love the industry it reflects in their service just how much each diner means to them.
Ambiance: 8
The ambiance was nice, but the music was a bit too clubby for my taste. Otherwise everything was neat, well decorated, and elegant – from the tables to the bathrooms. We had a nice big round table in the front of the restaurant, near the windows, and we enjoyed it.
HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE 50th STEAKHOUSE I’VE REVIEWED! I’ve been here once before, but that was before I started doing reviews. I remember thinking it was in my short list of favorites at the time, so I needed to come back and give it the old once-over, JP style. The verdict: not quite as incredible as I remember, but still a solid dining experience.
Flavor: 7
The flavor here was good but it lacked a little seasoning or salt. My rib eye was cooked nicely, but there definitely was a little bit of bleed-out – like that time of the month when broads start to bleed from their vadges. I think if there was more crust or char on the meat, the juices would’ve been sealed in better. They definitely let the meat rest properly before serving, so they got it mostly right. They DO have a steak sauce here that they pop on the table after you order your food, but it tasted more like a BBQ sauce to me. Perhaps good on chicken, but it would fuck up a good steak, in my opinion.
28oz Bone-In Colorado Rib Steak
On a return trip, I tried both the prime rib and the cajun rib eye.
The prime rib was pretty good. 7/10.
The cajun rib eye was good too, but when compared with Greenwich Steakhouse, it just doesn’t hold up. 7/10.
Porterhouse: 7/10.
“Plaque Steak” filet mignon for two: 9/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
The selection here is all prime, and dry-aged in house – so it is nice quality. You can taste that in the natural flavor, and that might be why they are light on the seasoning. Some places don’t want to tarnish the purity of a nice cut. They have five different styles of filet, four of which come in two sizes. They have single sirloin cuts in two sizes AS WELL AS a sirloin for two and a NY sirloin (strip). Then there’s the Colorado rib steak, a Cajun marinated rib steak, a prime rib, and a porterhouse for two. Last, they have “sliced steak Wollensky” in two sizes as well, which is another sirloin of some kind. That’s a lot of fucking beef to choose from.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
My steak was 28oz, bone-in. That’s a good-sized slab of meat on the bone – like Lexington Steele. I didn’t ask about the sizes of the other cuts. I’m sorry about that, assholes. Plating was basic steakhouse styling.
Price: 8
Prices here range from $45 to $54 for proper cuts of steak. The Colorado rib steak, which I had, came in on the higher side of that range at $53. It’s a bit high compared to other joints. Was it worth the money? Well… I guess. I can say yes if you are a purist. If you are like me, though, and sometimes you want a little crust on your steak, then you might be better off elsewhere for this price range. I did think the crab claw was over-priced, though it was delicious. I was hoping for a little more than one claw – like maybe an entire crab.
William Price
Bar: 8
The bar here is nice, and it reminded me of Keen’s a little, though not quite as incredible. It has an old feel, it smells like a bar, and the bartender is fancied up with some nice attire and even has an Irish accent. The martini was made perfectly, and came with three unpitted castelvetrano olives instead of your normal bullshit cocktail olives. Very nice – almost worth the $14 you pay for it (before tax & tip). I will be honest though – I hate NYC’s east side, bottom to top, but especially midtown. I never hang out there, and I most likely wouldn’t go there just for the bar unless I lived in that area (which I would never do). So there you have it.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
Our waiter didn’t read us any specials, so I was assuming there were none… until we overheard another waiter take a surf & turf order. I have a feeling my wife might have ordered that had we known about it. It wasn’t on the menu if it was a special – I’ll chalk that up to a service mishap. For other meats, they had braised short rib, lamb chops (which my wife ordered), roasted veal chops, and lemon pepper chicken. The lamb chops were thick and juicy, and cooked nicely – not too gamy. They came with an utterly horrific mint jelly (on the side, thank God), which tasted like melted mint gumdrops – those big, granulated sugar covered ones that you get from a crystal candy dish at your dead grandmother’s house. Mildly reminiscent of tooth paste. Fuck that shit.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
To start, I had the colossal Florida stone crab, which to my dismay was just a claw and not a full crab. It was absolutely delicious though. My wife had the famous split pea soup, which was very smooth and tasty, but ultimately nothing to rave about. On the side we had creamed spinach. I had heard good things about it here, but I wasn’t impressed. I prefer a leafier creamed spinach in general, but I am not opposed to the pureed type. Here it was pureed, but I thought it lacked punch. It was nice when you slathered it on your meat and took a combo bite though. For dessert we shared a disappointing slice of the bourbon pecan pie. The nutty top part was nice, but the inside was a little too gelatinous and fake tasting. It just didn’t compare to the walnut pecan pie at Sparks.
Coconut cake:
Carrot cake:
Seafood Selection: 9
There is a ton of seafood here. In addition to a full array of shellfish and regular fish for cold apps (tuna tartare, clams, oysters, shrimp, crab claws, crab cakes, lump crab meat, lobster, towers and plateaus), they also had a solid fish selection for entrees. Three to thirteen pound lobsters, or lobster tails by the ounce, plus a variety of preparations available for red snapper, king salmon, halibut, Dover sole, and Ahi tuna. There is even a special preparation of Dover Sole Meuniere. But seriously – three different crab apps available here?!?? I almost made some warm jellyfish in my pants. Our waiter told us that the seafood “bouquet” contained 12oz of lump crab meat (Is that a fucking mistake??!? That’s HUGE!), six jumbo shrimp, and lobster (I’m guessing half of a 1.5lb fucker). As I said above, the crab was awesome – just over-priced for a relatively small portion.
Colossal Florida Stone Crab Claw
Service: 10
The service was great. Well – let me rephrase and elaborate. The hospitality was INCREDIBLE, but the service was just good. First the negatives – and these are very minor, mind you: (1) We weren’t told about the surf & turf item. (2) I WOULD have ordered a beer to go with my steak but the waiter was sort of unseen after he took our orders. I still had half of my martini from the bar when we sat. My wife ordered a glass of wine, but I wasn’t ever asked for a refresher on my drink. No biggie – it saved me $8. Now for the positives: (1) They didn’t charge us for the pecan pie dessert. It was “on the house” as a gift for my wife, since we let them know the dinner was to celebrate her birthday when we made the reservation. That was awesome – especially since we didn’t really like it all that much anyway. It even came with a candle on top. (2) They have a guy opening and holding the door for you on the way out, and he will even hail a cab for you. I thought this was nice and classy. (3) I was given a hot, damp towel after I finished my crab appetizer. Let’s see – what else… the table bread wasn’t warm, but it was tasty – and came with a good variety of stuff to pick at, like the crispy flat bread, raisin nut bread, Italian bread, pretzel bread, and some sesame seed rolls. The butter was a little too cold to spread on anything though.
Table Bread
Ambiance: 8
The wait staff are all dressed nicely – mainly men as far as I could tell – in suit jackets. The decor was that of a traditional steakhouse. It had exposed brick in some parts, and a cream/tan colored paint job on the others, with old photos and artwork hanging throughout. It reminded me of what Ben Benson was like – even down to the bull head meat sign hanging in the main dining room. The bathroom was nice and clean, all marble, with shelves of thick hand towels for drying. Apparently one guy found it nice enough to drop a deuce in there, because he was laying some underwater cable while I was taking a piss. I should have taken a picture of his pants wrapped around his ankles from under the stall door.
UPDATE: EARLY 2019
I now have a plaque on the wall here, thanks to the fact that my buddy is a waiter and the manager remembers me from way back in 2013 when he was at Quality Italian.
It’s right above the entryway into the main dining room. Anyway, a few items to report on:
The lemon-pepper roasted chicken is absolutely fucking amazing:
That is a best of 2019 dish for me.
The oysters and clams on the half were excellent. Nice and fresh.
Another best of 2019 item is the strawberry cake that comes with an ice cream cone. Crack!
A trip to Bobby Van’s was a long time in the making. It has been on my never-ending short list for quite some time. I went with my family in a group of six to the Bridgehampton location on a Saturday. Check it out assholes:
Flavor: 8
I had the porterhouse since they didn’t have a ribeye on the menu (WTF???!?). It was good! The waiter suggested that the two of us ordering it go with a porterhouse for two rather than two single steaks because the cut would be thicker. It was nicely cooked, even throughout, a good char on the outside with a nice buttery flavor. They probably could have seasoned it a bit more, but otherwise it was a good meal. One negative is in the preparation. Like many steakhouses serving the porterhouse, they pre-slice the meat and serve it on a hot plate. It’s nice for sharing that way, but there was a pool of oil, butter and juices at the bottom of the plate. When you cut meat while still hot, you can dry it out. At the same time, after you cut it, the meat sits in a pool of liquids and makes the bottom of the steak sog the fuck up, which just got a nice char in the broiler or on the grill. So while the meat becomes dry in the central parts, it also gets soggy and ruins the char on one side. I’ve griped about the way porterhouses are ruined many times. Next time that there isn’t a ribeye on the menu, I might just have to stick with a strip or filet on their own, since porterhouses are inevitably destroyed on a regular basis at steakhouses. The server here at least had the sense to tip the plate up so that the juices didn’t soak the char and make the bottom of the steak soggy. Side note – it is sort of a world of difference to go from ribeye to porterhouse, in terms of flavor. The ribeye just packs so much more of a punch. It’s a shame they don’t offer one regularly. I know they have them on special on occasion though (lollipop steak). I also had a taste of the lamb, which was very nice as well.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
One thing I noticed right away when checking the menu online was that they didn’t offer a ribeye (as I annoyingly mentioned several times above). That means instant points come off. Three to be exact. Not only is it my personal favorite cut, but it is THE steak. Keen’s commits this treachery too, but they make up one point with all the other kinds of meats they have (the amazing mutton). Aside from that issue, Bobby Van’s is good. They have all three of the other mainstay cuts (filet, porterhouse, and strip), and everything is top quality.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Sizes here are pretty good. The lamb chops were a healthy size, and the porterhouse was about 40oz for two people. At $45 per cut, this isn’t too bad at all. My brother had a filet, and it looked around 12 or 14oz, which is on the upper end of the range. The apps and sides were all generous, as well as the desserts. The baked potato, for example, can feed a small village… for a week.
Price: 8
The price is about right for Long Island steakhouses. All the cuts are $45. All the sides are $9. The bill for six people came to $565. With tips included it was about $110 a head. Not too bad, especially when you take into account that the portion sizes were all large.
Bar: 9
The bar is nice and big, and attracts a good crowd. The restaurant is located on a nice little strip of town, and it just so happened that we were there for the Kentucky Derby, so the place was packed out with people wearing fancy hats and cheering for the horses (I’ll Have Another – the one who flaked out of Belmont soon afterwards when it was in line for the Triple Crown). My sister said the place is packed all the time. I can see why – it seems like a fun place to hang.
Specials and Other Meats: 9
Bobby Van’s had a ton of stuff on special. I would have loved to see some more beef items on special, like a flank or a skirt (… or a FUCKING RIBEYE!), so I took one point for that. By way of other meats, they have lamb, veal and chicken. A good array of butchery. On special was a pork chop as well, along with several salad, app and fish options. My sister had a duck confit pasta dish, which was awesome. This is a regular menu item, but it is so good and full of meat that I put it here.
specials
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
I had smoked salmon for my appetizer. It was a big portion, and it came with several slices of goat cheese and caramelized onions. My wife had the pear and arugula salad, which was on special. The walnuts in the salad were amazing. Honey roasted, crunchy, and delicious. One noteworthy item was my sisters calamari app – I assumed it was a fried item when I saw it on the chalkboard, but it was grilled perfectly, sliced up, and served in a nice Asian slaw. For sides we had a baked potato (freaking HUGE – almost as big as our porterhouse), french fries (skinny, nicely seasoned), and creamed spinach (not overly dairy, seasoned to a nice savory goodness, and just the right amount of liquidity for slathering on a bite of steak). For dessert I tried a bite of my sister in-law’s chocolate cake, and lots of my wife’s delicious mango sorbet.
Seafood Selection: 10
There is a healthy amount of seafood on the menu. Appetizers consist of clams and oysters (both cooked and uncooked), mussels, crab cake, lobster, shrimp, fish tacos, and smoked salmon. For entrees they have a rare tuna dish, hamachi, grilled salmon, black sea bass, and a whole pan seared fluke. Note that seafood entrees, at a steakhouse, are for pussies and women. Perhaps they chose to put fluke on the menu instead of a ribeye because they want to attract wimps to the restaurant instead of real men. In any event, they all looked and sounded delicious. My wife has some dietary restrictions, so she went with the hamachi instead of meat. I tried a few bites and it was delicious. Crispy seared edges, a little rare on the inside – perfect. It is such a nice fish. On special they had soft shell crabs and wreck fish as well.
Service: 8
The waiter was a little difficult to understand, but that might have been due in part to having a seat closer to the end of the bar. There was nothing wrong with the service at all – it was average. On the plus column he did suggest we do a steak for two rather than two steaks for one, so that we got a thicker cut of beef. On the table there was warm bread and semi-soft butter waiting for our ravenous appetites to devour before the meal, with a little plate of olive oil to go with.
Ambiance: 9
When we first were seated, the temperature seemed a little aggressive and hot. As the meal went on it cooled down, which was good. The wicker/bamboo seats were a little narrow and uncomfortable for my fat ass, but the decor was classy and worthy of fine steakhouses. Dark wood floors, dark wood-paneled bar area, nice paintings of east end stuff and horses, etc.
BOBBY VAN’S
2393 Montauk Hwy.
Bridgehampton, NY 11932
My wife and I spent the weekend in the city to watch a play and have a nice meal. We decided to try Capital Grille’s Wall Street location despite my bad experience in midtown, mainly because she had a 30% off coupon. I figured: different location, different chef, different ambiance… means most likely a different experience. I was right. See below:
Flavor: 7
I had the porterhouse, simply because I wanted to mix it up. I had the ribeye at the other location, and was hoping for a better experience here for our anniversary. They likely use the same supplier for their beef, and have the exact same menu, so by that logic I figured I might as well try something different. It was good, but not great. There were one or two bites that were just odd and bad tasting. Perhaps due to gristle proximity. I ordered medium rare but it came medium. I didn’t mind that so much since there was still some pink, but others might get pissed off at something big like that. The steak should have rested a bit more, as there was a puddle of juices under it when it was served. It wasn’t sizzling, but it was on a hot plate. Perhaps it was a t-bone and not a true porterhouse, but the filet side did seem large enough. In hindsight I should have stuck with ribeye, or a dedicated strip.
the food
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
They have the essentials: strip, porterhouse, filet and ribeye. They also have a few variations on how they prepare them: au poivre, oscar, porcini rubbed, kona crusted, sliced with mushrooms, etc. Also, each is dry aged, so that is a bonus. Could have benefited from some flank or skirt selections.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
My porterhouse was 24oz, and the ribeye is 22oz. These are good sizes for steaks. For some appetizer items, however, there were some issues. The smoked salmon had four small to medium sized slices for $17 – seems lame. Also the crab meat app for $21 only had 4oz, which seemed too small. On the other hand, the sides and desserts were nicely sized portions.
Price: 9
The prices here are really fair for NYC fare. The ribeye and porterhouse are $48 as opposed to $55 in some places, and it is exactly the same size. I guess being a chain steakhouse does have some benefit for the customer – similar to the point I made in my second trip to Ruth’s Chris. Also we had a discount for 30% off, because my wife is a-freaking-mazing when it comes to finding deals on stuff (our 3rd row theater tix were only $30 each too). I have also taken into consideration that the food was better here, thus making the price more “worth it” as opposed to the midtown location. We saved $50 from the online deal at Savored, and we also got our coffee, tea, and dessert booze (Stoli Boli) for free. So our bill was only $127 after tax (2 drinks, 2 apps, 2 entrees, a side, and a dessert).
Bar: 8
The bar is a nice circular deal here, with high ceilings since he second floor overlooks it. It sits close to the open-windowed kitchen, so you can watch all the cooking (similar to Maloney & Porcelli). For $11 the martini is great – one of the cheaper martinis in all of NYC steakhouses, and it is made well.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
On special there was a scallops and broccoli rabe dish, and a king crab appetizer. I was expecting leg meat, but it was lump style, from the body. It was good but not worth $21. For other meats there is chicken, lamb, and other preparations of steaks not in the traditional steakhouse manner (see above). For example porcini rubbed delmonico, kona crusted dry aged sirloin, etc. Good for other meats, or at least other preparations of the same meats. I would have liked to see a special cut of steak though, or some variations like flank or skirt.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
We had the smoked salmon (delicious but small), and the special crab meat (expected leg meat but it was still good – just small) for apps. My wife had the shellfish plateau for her entree, which was a full half-pound lobster, shrimp, and six oysters. A bit pricey at $50, but it all tasted great. On the side we had grilled asparagus. I make better at home, but this was interesting in that it was served with a lemon oil. For dessert we had the coconut cream pie. It was awesome. I wish I still had room to finish it. It was served with a nice big coconut almond sugar cookie too, but the best part was he crust under the pie – soft yet crisp at the same time. Not too sweet – just right.
Seafood Selection: 9
This is essentially the same as the other restaurant. We tried the seafood tower, smoked salmon, and crab meat apps (see above and midtown review).
Service: 10
Our waiter was great. He said Happy Anniversary to us several times. Despite getting a whopping 30% discount from Savored, they still gave us top notch attention. For dessert, they gave us complimentary Stoli Doli drinks (pineapple infused vodka that they soak fresh on site), and our coffee and tea were on the house as well. SWEET! The table breads were a good mix of onion loaf, seasoned rolls, pumpernickel raisin, and flat breads. The butter was soft and light, and seasoned fresh with salt and herbs/greenery.
Ambiance: 9
The ambiance at the Wall Street location is very similar to the midtown west location. The waiters and waitresses wear the classic bow ties. There is nice dark wood paneling on the walls, taxidermy and paintings on the walls, and a red patterned rug. The second floor has great views and a spacious set up. The music is a good selection of jazz. The bathroom had cool “Capital Grille” printed towelettes, and down on the lower level near the bathrooms is a great private dining room inside the old massive vault doors.
I had heard wonderful things about this place from a friend and coworker – specifically about the signature pork dish – so my wife and I decided to go here for our Christmas dinner.
I’m not sure if it truly qualifies as a steakhouse, but I am treating it as such based on the menu, which is clearly beef-heavy.
Flavor: 9
This place was incredible for the entrees. I ordered a ribeye, and my wife ordered the crackling pork shank. The steak was cooked perfectly from end to end, it was juicy, well portioned, nicely seasoned and delicious. The pork is really something special though. The skin is so crispy and the fat underneath just melts in your mouth. Some of the best eating I’ve had in NYC right there.
On subsequent visits, I’ve tried the Bronson Pinchot steak: 9/10
As well as the Wellington Rossini: 8/10
Their porterhouse is a 9/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
There was a great selection of beef. First, they have five different styles of filet and two different sizes for each: classic, cajun, au poivre, roquefort crusted, and oscar. Add to that a “bone-in” filet (the conundrum) on special. Impressive… but if you are ordering a filet it may as well be a filet of flounder in my eyes. Man up and get a real cut of beef, pricks. Next, they have porterhouse for two, a ribeye (two sizes), and a sirloin (also two sizes). There is a braised short rib as well. I took points off because there is no porterhouse for one, and no proper strip steak. All the meat is prime quality though, so that is a feather in the cap. Furthermore, it’s all dry-aged on site.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
Portions are big. My ribeye was on the order of 22-24oz (bone-in), and the pork shank was certainly enough to feed two. The scallop appetizer portion was a little on the small side, but the sides were enough for two or more, so it evens out.
Price: 8
The price point is about right for NYC steakhouses. It could even be considered a bargain considering that this place is semi-legendary among NYCers, and is usually packed out on any given night. It is $48/pp for the porterhouse, filets range from $42-$52 depending on preparation and size, the sirloins are $43/$48, and the ribeyes are $45/$50. The martini is $14.
Bar: 9
The bar is an island set-up. They do make a good martini, and they use castelvetrano olives with the pits still inside as garnish, which is a huge bonus as they are my favorite kind of olive (bright green, ample brine, and meaty but not too firm). One cool thing about the bar area is that there is a row of bar stool seats that face into the kitchen. Essentially the kitchen is open view to the public. You can sit and nurse your drink or order bar menu items and watch the cookery in full swing.
Specials and Other Meats: 10
Roasted chicken, rack of lamb, and braised short rib are all on the regular menu along with the big daddy – the crackling pork shank with firecracker applesauce. This place is famous for that dish.
On special they also had plenty to choose from, apps and entrees alike, so this place definitely gets the full till on this category. Don’t skip out on the bone-in chicken parm. This thing is killer!
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
We had a bunch of stuff here.
First, an order of east coast oysters (6) – blue island and malpeque. They were delicious. There were one or two shell shards, but nothing to deduct points over. Next we had a sea scallop appetizer and the plate of blood sausage and sweet breads. The scallops were on the small side. There were two on the plate for about $16, and they were half the side that a normal scallop should be. They were closer to bay size than sea size, if you catch my drift. They were also a bit overcooked, which was a shame. The hints of fennel were nice, and otherwise they tasted great. The sweet breads were crisp outside and creamy inside. A little buttery, but I didn’t mind so much. The blood sausage was nice and mild in flavor but small in portion size. However there was a nice “stuffing” that accompanied the items to make up for it. On the side we had creamed spinach and the “signature balls.” Sounds delicious, right? PICK A NEW NAME FOR THE BALLS M&P! The spinach was a bit watery and not so creamy, but the lack of cream was not unwelcome considering how rich everything else was in the meal. The balls were essentially potato hush puppies, supposedly filled with cheese, though I didn’t get much of that flavor inside. They definitely tasted like chive though – they were just mediocre. For dessert we had a variety of creme brulees. There were six flavors (chocolate, key lime, banana, almond, coffee and vanilla). They were neatly served inside empty egg shells in a porcelain egg holder. Very cool, and a bonus point on plating! It was fun to taste them all.
On a subsequent visit, I couldn’t help but try the dry-aged meatball. This thing is beautiful, all covered up with melted mozzarella and swimming in a light marinara sauce.
The wagyu carpaccio is intensely marbled.
Seafood Selection: 10
They offer several preparations of lobster, salmon, tuna, trout, red snapper, and even a roast whole fish. For the vagina of your dining party, this place certainly has a great selection. From what I hear, the quality and taste is fantastic; especially the trout. They also have the standard apps, like lump crab meat, shrimp cocktail, lobster cocktail, clams, and a variety of east and west coast oysters. There were seafood specials too, both under apps and entrees.
Service: 10
Our waiter(s) were a bit impersonal. They didn’t seem as attentive as other places we have been to and that I have rated. In fact, they served us our apps and forgot to take our entree order. My wife had to call the guy over to take our entree order when we were nearly finished with the appetizers. They made up for this though by giving us each a complimentary glass of champagne at dessert. Nice touch. The table breads were warm when they came to us; a loaf of pretzel bread served with a mustard seed butter. Very innovative and fun. They also serve this extremely flat, crispy item that almost looks like a tortilla or some kind of flatbread cracker. We didn’t have any in our basket, but other diners did. What up wit’ that?
Ambiance: 9
The look is early to mid 20th century, but it isn’t as authentic as other places feel. There is a wrap-around upstairs that encircles the outer perimeter of the restaurant and looks down over the main dining area and bar. We sat up there. Everything looks nice and is clean. The music was crooner stuff and tin pan alley, which I liked. The bathroom was big and clean, and they had stacks of individually folded cloth hand towels for drying off. Nice.
MALONEY & PORCELLI
37 E. 50th St.
New York, NY 10022
A big group of us went to Pace’s (the Port Jefferson location) for a Christmas steak dinner. Below are the results:
Flavor: 8
Fortunately I was able to try a little bit of everything. I ordered the ribeye, my wife ordered the marinated porterhouse, and a friend ordered the “surf and turf,” which came with the non-marinated filet. First of all – the ribeye was perfectly cooked from end to end (9/10). Exactly spot on medium from the fat cap all the way to the bone. That is amazing. A bit more crust on the top and bottom would have sent this baby into the 10-spot, but it is certainly a solid hunk of meat. The marinated cuts soak for three days in what I guess is a sweet garlic-soy concoction. It was really nice for the first few bites, but after a while it is a bit much (8/10). Stick with the standard preparation, even though they offer “Oscar” style (with crab meat), and “Tuscan” style (with Gorgonzola melted on top). The filet side of the porterhouse was tender and juicy, as was the strip side. The non-marinated filet that came with the surf and turf (soif & toif) was perfectly cooked, but it lacked seasoning. I’m not sure if they use a different cut for surf and turf than they do for the petite filet, but that could be why there was a lack of flavor intensity (7/10). But if you go for the standard beef cut to test the mettle of the meat (aka the ribeye) you will not be disappointed. There were clean bones all around the table, as five of us ordered the ribeye.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
Pace’s has most of the basics. They have filets in two sizes (7-9oz; 10-12oz), a ribeye (24oz bone-in), and porterhouses (30-32oz for one; 52-56oz for two). What is missing you ask? The strip. They offer a double cut sirloin (20oz), and a NY shell steak (20-22oz). The shell steak is meant to be considered a “strip,” but come on – lets get with the program. Get the real thing.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portions are just right. The ounces listed above are on par with the big dogs of steakhouses. Bone in or boneless, you get a good amount for your dollar here.
Price: 8
These were fair prices, especially when compared to NYC steak joints. The most expensive cut of meat is $45 (porterhouse for one). Ribeyes price in at $42, and filets at $32 and $38. Seeing a filet under $40 is refreshing these days.
Bar: 8
The bar is nice – not too big, not too small. I could definitely see myself hanging here for a drink and some bar food. The only problem is that Port Jefferson is so far away. They made a nice, ice-cold martini to my liking: Beefeater up, very dry, and with olives.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
Roasted chicken, Long Island duckling, rack of lamb, and double center cut pork chops grace the alternative meats menu here; a good selection (hats off to the duck, which I like to see on steakhouse menus), but no other beef cuts like flank, skirt or hanger. On special there were some enticing seafood items, like Chilean sea bass and some lobster items, along with a few apps.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
I tried the crab cake and the “filet mignon spring roll” appetizers. The crab cake could have been a bit lumpier (as in less shredded and “filled”), but it had a good crunch to it, and good flavor. The special filet mignon spring roll with Gorgonzola cheese was okay. There was some chew to the meat, which was slightly disappointing, but overall it was interesting and worth a detour from the usual orders (oysters, wedge salad, etc). For sides we had creamed spinach, steak fries, and mashed potato. The mashed had a bit too much garlic for my liking, and were a bit dry inside (I admit that I am spoiled by my mom’s mozzarella mashed potato platters from childhood). Everyone at the table liked it except for my wife and I. The steak fries were nothing special to me either, though others did like them. I’ve personally had better at my local “Carousel Diner” in West Islip. The creamed spinach was good though: not too heavy (a dark green color), but it had enough creamy smoothness to cut the salty meat in between bites. Nicely done.
Seafood Selection: 7
Seafood is delivered fresh daily to Pace’s, so you have to go there to see what is offered. A regular menu item, however, is lobster (starting at 2lbs). They only had one featured seafood item on special, which was a horseradish crusted Chilean sea bass on top of a bed of sauteed spinach. It sounded marvelous, but since we didn’t have our dicks tucked back into our asses like a bunch of nancy-boys, we all decided to get meat, like real men (ladies included). Two more seafood items might have boosted the points here. I am not one to order seafood entrees at a steakhouse, but sometimes I want a good selection. Perhaps Pace’s is confident enough in their meat and fish to only have the one item offered? Bold move? Maybe. Since I didn’t try it, I can not properly judge. Based on lack of choices, though, I have to take a couple of points off.
Service: 9
Our waiter was great. We didn’t really test his knowledge, but he was attentive, and made good suggestions in terms of appetizer sizing and what he thought was good. The bread was warm and multifarious. The whipped butter was cool and hard at first, but it quickly became spreadable.
Ambiance: 10
Situated in picturesque Port Jefferson Long Island, Pace’s is located on a narrow one way street just off the main strip of town, in an old historic structure that was probably built in the 1600’s or 1700’s. The walls are exposed brick, the trimmings are nice wood blinds and wood-colored drapery. Pictures on the walls are old Long Island street scenes; authentic and classy without being cliche. There are several alcoves and small dining areas that offer privacy while still allowing for the feel of community in the dining space. It is cozy, but not stuffy or tight-spaced. An interesting touch: the bathroom is equipped with a mouth wash dispenser and small dentist-office cups for rinsing out. They also stock that baby with quality disposable thick cloth hand towels. Bonus.
I finally had the chance to come back in to Club A and dig on some steaks from the regular menu. The older review below was based on two meals where we used a Groupon and were limited to what we could order. This time I was here for some Instagram photos, so my wife and I tried both the rib eye and the porterhouse. Here’s how it went down:
Porterhouse: 9/10
This baby was nearly perfect. I only took a point because the seasoning was a hair too light. Otherwise the strip side had a really great texture, and the filet side was as soft as a baby’s ass.
Watch as this baby came to the table:
The photos and video make it look very overcooked, but it was just my light shining too hard. It may have been closer to medium than medium rare, but there was plenty of pink to go around.
We really enjoyed this.
Rib Eye: 8/10
This could have used a little more salt, and I only detected the dry aging on the edges by the small cap muscle, but we destroyed every ounce of it.
This baby was perfectly cooked.
Dead on medium rare.
We actually start with the steak tartare.
Here’s a yolk pop and mix video:
This was really nice. Very tender and flavorful.
Bread basket is on point:
Negroni at the bar was very refreshing and well mixed:
Great ambiance both inside and outside. They have live jazz on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and a private room upstairs that I didn’t know existed.
Loved this on the back of the menu:
And the service is impeccable. They even brought out a pair of mushroom ravioli, carrots, and mac and cheese for us even though we didn’t order them:
The dessert plate came out for us gratis as well. Look at how pretty this is:
As nearly all NYCers know, Club A has been running an enticing promotion on Groupon since the Spring of 2011: $80 four course dinner for two, with a bottle of wine included (now $99 for the same deal in 2017). Here’s my review, though I kinda wish my wife stopped Geoffrey Zakarian on the street and begged him to cook us a private meal. She passed by him on her way to meet me.
Flavor:7
The choice of beef cuts with the special deal were either an 8oz filet or a 10oz hanger steak. Naturally, I chose the hanger cut, because I think it shows more finesse and skill to prepare a good hanger steak than it does to whip up a filet. Also, the hanger generally has more flavor and character than the monotonous and generally same-at-every-place-you-go filet can have. My steak was good. It had decent flavor, but it was not tenderized or aged in any noticeable way to enhance it. Parts were stringy, which means the fat was not allowed to break down in the aging process.
It came to me just how I ordered. I asked for medium rare, and I was given medium rare. This cut has a tendency to be tough, so a fast cooking approach with a slice on the bias or a slow, long braise is generally best. I’ve had a better hanger steak at non-steakhouses. 7/10.
My wife had the veal shank osso buco on our first trip here, which was better than my steak that first time around. I had originally given the hanger a 6/10, but after the second trip I bumped it to a 7/10. On the second trip, my wife had the filet.
This was tender and had nice flavor throughout. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare and had a good sear on the outside. 8/10.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Club A has the standard selection of steaks on their regular menu, plus some special cuts and high quality meats like “Kobe” rib eyes and prime aged stuff. Perhaps my flavor review would be higher if I had ordered off the regular menu, but these were test visits. I’m not sprinting to go back, but I definitely would because I see good potential. Perhaps if someone insists, I will try it again.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
The portion sizes were good, and the plating was above average. The veal osso buco came with a mini fork to get the marrow out of the bone – nice touch. The hanger was pre-sliced, properly on the bias, and served with a watery gravy (but good). The bacon appetizer was a generous half-inch thick slice of heaven.
Price: 9
The price was great – $80 for four courses each, plus a bottle of wine (now $99). The quality didn’t quite exceed the value, but I guess they have to draw the line somewhere to distinguish between the bargain menu and their regular menu. Prices for regular items are standard NYC steakhouse prices.
Bar: 7
There is a small bar in the front of the restaurant – not impressive, but nicely set up.
There is also a larger bar upstairs splitting the front and rear dining areas, but these spots aren’t the kind of place you go to hang out. The upstairs bar seems to be unmanned, though I’m not sure if it gets more lively at night.
The martini was nice, but the atmosphere pales in comparison to other steakhouse bars. This is a neighborhood joint though, not a major steakhouse attraction, so allow some leeway. The waffle cut potato chips on the bar were a nice snack.
Specials and Other Meats: 9
I must say, the menu is full of meatery. Aside from the special beef cuts, they also have a prime pork chop, veal, chicken, sausage, and lamb. They’ve covered all the bases with various sizes as well.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 7
The bacon app was fantastic on the first visit, but just good on the second. Recently I’ve had better. It wasn’t too salty, and for the most part it had a good amount of fat balanced with the meaty parts.
On my first visit, the steak tartare was sub-par: over cut with capers, red onion and other doo-dads; it tasted yummy, but it seemed short on actual meat. Also, some of the consistency was chewy, like they didn’t trim the fat off before chopping. On the second visit, there was a noted improvement to this dish, though it seemed to lack a bit of seasoning.
The sides were decent. I liked the creamed spinach, despite it being a bit thin or watery. The mac & cheese was delicious, however, with an awesome cheese crust on the top.
As for dessert, the tiramisu and cream puffs tasted homogeneous. Similar textures (aside from the crunch of the profiterole shell), similar flavors… dull. The profiterole shells, I think, need to be dusted with powdered sugar right when they come out of the fryer. They tasted a bit savory rather than sweet. The chocolate mousse they sat upon was delicious, however.
Seafood Selection: 9
Decent selection of seafood, even a manly fish like swordfish made its presence known on the menu. There are good sounding alternatives for the vaginal.
Service: 8
Good service, attentive. There was an assortment of varied warm and room temperature table breads to snack on.
They ranged from sweet to salty. Butter was still cold, and steak sauce tasted like it was 90% ketchup.
Ambiance: 7
At first I hated the place. Dimly lit with red tones all over, typical framed photos of celebs on the walls, a cheap looking but pretty gas fireplace on the back wall of the first floor dining room, and cheese-bag electronic lounge music playing like we are at “Centro-Fly” from a decade ago. But then the music switched to instrumental funk, jazz and crooner… and we went upstairs… WOW – Beautiful view of the lit trees out the floor to ceiling windows in the front of the building. Non-traditional and small, but stunning.
On my second visit, the music was more along the “golden oldies” lines, and I still liked the upstairs better than the downstairs.
Keens holds a special place in my heart, and is easily one of my favorite places in NYC. The ceiling is lined with clay churchwarden tobacco pipes. I’m talking EVERYWHERE. I smoke a pipe on occasion, and I almost always use a churchie, so when I first found out about this place back in 2003 or 2004, I was flipping out. I went once back then and had a porterhouse with my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time. This time I was with a group of friends, so I got to taste much more of the menu. Interesting factoid – Keens had a fire and lost all their records of who owned what pipes. All they have left are the serial numbers written on them. Many a famous person had one in the place, including presidents and the like. My friend Joe’s grandfather had a pipe in there, and we inquired about how to go about locating it. Bottom line – we need to know the serial number of Joe’s grandfather’s pipe. Once we find that, we can locate it in the restaurant and stare at it in awe.
Flavor: 10
I ordered a braised short rib. I know, I know. PUSSY! But let me ‘splain. Everyone shared, and Keens is known for many things. First thing they are known for: they didn’t allow women into the place until it was well beyond normal. Second, the pipes. Third, the mutton chop. And fourth, the braised short rib. I love braised meat, so I figured I would give it a shot, since the other stuff on the menu was basically covered by the other diners at the table. It was tasty and good, but a little dry. That means it was either cooked too fast, or cooked too long. Okay – no biggie. My buddy got the mutton chop, which was amazing. Nice clean gaminess, thick as hell, on a nice bone, and seasoned to a beautiful crisp. The others at the table (the same rag-tag crew from Dylan Prime) split a porterhouse for three. That was hands down the best porterhouse I have ever tried. The strip side was a little tough and chewy, but it was full of great flavor and prepared/cooked flawlessly. The filet side was perfect. PERFECT. On a second trip, the strip side far exceeded the filet side. I would give it a 9 for flavor here, but the braised item doesn’t really count now, does it? The brilliant mutton and the unbelievable porterhouse make up for it in scores.
porterhouse steak for two
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
They have a great selection of some really nice looking meats. As mentioned above; mutton chop, braised short rib, the porterhouse, lamb chops, pork chops… Notice anything missing? THE FUCKING RIBEYE! THEY DO NOT HAVE A RIBEYE ON THE MENU! WHY!?!??!?? I will never understand. As my dad once said; “Everyone should have rib eye… even McDonalds.” I suppose they only serve it when they have it on special? Perhaps it is so good that they only do it on occasion. I will go back, and next time they better have it on the menu (on a second trip – STILL no ribeye – but they do have prime rib). Three points off what was an in-the-bag 10 if they had even a 12oz choice cut ribeye with no marbling whatsoever. Bad move Keens. UPDATE!!! On a third visit they had a rib eye. It wasn’t the best I’ve had, but it was good (8/10). I’d say it was about 16oz, boneless, and juuicy/tender. As promised above, I have given the full award for points here, now that a ribeye has made the menu. Alas, though, I had to remove some points again because on yet another visit the rib eye was gone. I guess it is only a once in a while offering.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
I think I recall someone at the table saying they thought the portion size was small for something – perhaps the steak for three? I was a little bit buzzed up, so I can’t remember… But the mutton was massive, and I thought the steak for three was huge, especially since I ate about 6 or 8 ounces of it toward the end of the meal when everyone was getting full. The short rib was a bit lady-like, but not TOO dainty. It really is a woman’s order. Come on guys… Don’t do what I did. Get the porterhouse. The creamed spinach was normal size to slightly small, but I think they split a portion up into a few ramekins for us to share easier. I am hesitant to take a point off because I am a little fuzzy, but my heart says take one.
Price: 10
Once again, Tom picked up the damn bill (THANK YOU!), so the meal was free. It was an effort to get him to let us pay the tip. How can I give anything less than a 10? To be honest though, the prices are fair and you definitely get your money’s worth, so a 10 all the way. On trip number two, steak for two, two sides, one app, and a couple of drinks came to about $80 per person, including tax and tip – totally reasonable. Here’s a recent bill for two:
Bar: 10
Not only is the steak great, but the bar at Keens is one of my favorite places to hang out even if I am not planning on eating. It has timeless character, it is classy, it is old New York, and it is always fun. Plus they make a mean martini with nice big, fat olives. And HOLY SHIT the scotch menu is only rivaled by the Brandy Library in Tribeca in terms of selection and quality. They sport five different laphroaigs, and three different lagavulins – those are my two favorite scotches. They just don’t make places like this anymore. Martinis run about $15 here, and Keens has their own beer (made by Brooklyn brewing company, i think) – its a nice IPA, not overly hoppy.
Specials and Other Meats: 10
Like I said earlier, they have everything except ribeye. This is simply an amazing place to eat – there really is something for everyone, even vegetarian assholes. I’d like for the ribeye to be a main fixture, even if it is a “special” or off the menu. No real “specials” to mention, but for other meats the obvious star is the mutton.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 10
We skipped apps this time around, but last time I had a lobster cocktail, which was really well done. The creamed spinach was really unique; it has a hint of clove to it that really set it apart from other places. Plus is tasted really friggin’ awesome too. For dessert I had the cask strength Laphroaig that always nearly blows my shoes off. Potent but leathery-delicious. In all honesty, this category might NOT deserve a 10. I simply didn’t try enough items. What I did try was fantastic on both trips though, so I can’t take a point in good conscience. One a second visit, I had the bacon app, which was delicious. Not quite on the level of some other joints, but still really great. We also had the french fries, which I think you would be hard pressed to find better in NYC – they are up there with the best in town.
creamed spinach and french fries
Some apps from a second visit – halibut tartare and littleneck clams:
Dessert – creme brulee and coffee ice cream:
Bacon – perfection!
The prime rib hash browns. from the bar menu, are incredible.
Seafood Selection: 9
Sole, salmon, shrimp and lobster. Not bad! Plus all the usual apps and shellfish, with an added selection of cured salmon that I was really tempted to try. I would have liked to see a meat-eaters fish on the menu though: maybe a swordfish steak or something good and manly.
lobster
Service: 11 (only 10 scored)
“But these ones go to 11” – Nigel Tufnel. If I could give an 11, I would. Wait a second… I can! This is my game, bitches – but I won’t count the extra point. I need to maintain some level of integrity; the 11 is in spirit only. Our waiter, Chris, KNEW HIS SHIT. It is because of him that Keens is an 11 in spirit. I even TESTED him about the history of the place. He busted out a really eloquent explanation of the establishment without even sounding scripted or rehearsed. He also made really good suggestions when it came to the food, and, for his young age, even seemed to know a good deal about fine scotch (they have a menu of over 200 different scotches). Attentive, polite, not annoying or prying – just an overall good experience. On another visit, our waiter Muhammed showed us that he knew all about the history of this place as well, and was really great – a true gentleman. As far as table items – they had these really awesome, large, half-sour pickles in a tray with olives and celery. The bread was really tasty too – warm, butter easily spread, etc.
Ambiance: 11 (only 10 scored)
An 11 can go here too; for real – and same with the bar. Keens is hands down the best ambiance and atmosphere of all the steakhouses I have ever been to. It is old, but not quiet and musty. It is vibrant and fun, but not loud and annoying or over-crowded. It is manly, but also really inviting for people of all sexes (women and trannies included). This place isn’t just a restaurant – it is a destination, a landmark, an experience, a hangout. The pictures on their website don’t do it justice, and when you are in there, you feel like you are a king. The history of the place is really amazing too. I recently learned that they have an actual playbill from the theater/show during which Lincoln was assassinated (see below), and they also sport one of Teddy Roosevelt’s taxidermied hunting trophies on one of the walls.
NEW PHOTOS!!!
Bread basket: nice and warm.
Crudite: crisp and refreshing, good dipping sauce.
Martini: shaken up nicely.
12-ingredient salad: a dozen praises.
Tomato & onion with mozzarella: standard steakhouse starting fare.
House-cured salmon: a good briny beginning to a meal.
Pumpernickel nut bread that comes with the salmon:
6-east and 6-west coasters: both delicious and crisp.
Seafood platter: 6 oysters, 4 clams, 4 shrimp and half a lobster. Great deal for $52.
Prime rib: juicy, tender, delicious.
Mutton: an excellent alternameat for those looking for something bold and unique.
Filet mignon: simplicity at its finest.
Creamed spinach: warm and inviting, green with cream and nutmeg.
Escarole that came with the mutton: YES! Escarole needs more attention in restaurants.
Mushrooms: a good little side.
Mutton slice: a perfect medium rare cook job.
Doggie bag: woof.
Coffe cantata dessert: coffee ice cream with chocolate, berry sauce and topped with a marshmallowy whipped cream.
Creme brûlée: a classic.
Stilton cheese plate dessert (comes with a glass of port): funky.
Mark Joseph is a well known steak joint down by NYC’s South Street Seaport. The word among steak-folk is that one of the owners was formerly employed with Peter Luger’s in Brooklyn, but then left to start his own legacy. As it turns out, a fellow carnivore friend of mine knows one of the other owners or investors in a roundabout sort of way through the butchery and meat packing industry; my friend worked for a meat company that one of the owners ran. It is comforting to know that the pedigree of this place is firmly grounded in the meat biz. This rating comes on the heels of my second time eating at this fine establishment. Groupon had a great $25 for $50 offer recently so I jumped on it in hopes to refresh my meat senses in order to give this place a thorough review.
Flavor: 8
My first time here, my wife and I got the steak for two (porterhouse). It comes out on a sizzling hot plate, cooked a little under from what you ordered. The plate is so hot that you literally finish cooking the slices to your liking right on the plate. Now, this is tradition in the spirit of Luger’s, and it is cool from a theatrical perspective, but not cool for other reasons. I am not a fan of it. Why, you ask? The meat has not had a chance to rest when it is sliced. This creates a pool of blood/juices under the steak that ruins the crisp texture of the bottom while draining it of moisture, rendering the meat dry if you don’t scarf it down ASAP. It tasted good enough though, so there’s that.
This trip, I went with the ribeye to truly test Mark Joseph’s mettle. It was good. Crispy outer edges and crust – perfectly cooked – well rested, well seasoned.
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
This place is pretty bare-bones. Porterhouse for two, three or four; a “sirloin,” which I assume and hope is a real strip at a place like this; a bone in ribeye (thank God they had the sense to leave the bone in), and filet. There’s nothing wrong with a bare-bones approach to steakhouses. I appreciate it, actually. If a place is willing to really focus their skill on the basic four cuts and make them perfect, then that is something to be proud of. This is what Mark Joseph strives for. They offer the “chopped steak” as well, the large, glorified, bun-less hamburger, but I think it is a wasted menu item. Throw a skirt on there, or another dead animal other than the steer. They DO have lamb chops though, which I always am tempted to order at steakhouses but refrain from doing so. The quality is all prime, dry aged, so that is a feather in the cap.
Portion Size & Plating: 8
The portions are healthy here, at 28oz for the bone-in ribeye, and 16-20oz for filets. Plating is basic; hot white plates; nothing fancy, yet it still remains elegant.
Price: 8
The steak for two is $82, which is fair in comparison to other high end NYC steak places. At $51, the ribeye is a bit on the high end. Eight oysters ran us $17, $16 for the tuna app, $10 for sauteed spinach, $12 martinis (after tax) and $4 per slice of bacon. Our total bill was $204 – and special thanks to Groupon again for knocking that additional money off.
Bar: 9
Nice bar. Three TVs (30-40inch flat screens), friendly bartender that mixes a good martini (filled high with fat olives), great scotch selection, and close to the seaport (nice environment).
Specials and Other Meats: 7
Aside from seafood, the only other meat Mark Joseph offers is lamb. I appreciate the gesture. The place basically says “fuck you” to chicken and other pussy meats. I think a cherry pepper pork chop or maybe something more game-oriented like venison could make a showing though and MJ would still keep that macho attitude. As for specials, there were none. Oh well.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 9
I can’t for the life of me remember what I had the first time we went here, so all I can do is judge based on this last visit. MJ seems to take the approach of “simple is better” or “showcase the quality of the ingredients” with their apps. They are all delicious. We had oysters on the half shell (creamy, crisp & cold), a slice of bacon (freaking AWESOME here – I even buttered it – yup – buttered bacon), tuna tartare (nice solid sushi grade chopped chunks, no fatty whiteness – nicely seasoned/dressed – very simple but yummy), and sauteed spinach (very nice – better than their creamed spinach, which I do recall that we had the last time we went). For dessert we had the apple crunch pie, but it was not crunchy. It was served with a scoop of whipped cream that had me fooled into thinking it was ice cream at first. A point off for false advertising on the lack of crunch.
Seafood Selection: 7
Tuna, salmon, lobster, and (kick his ass) sea bass are the entrees to consider if you are going vaginal here. The appetizer menu is riddled with great looking shellfish too; clams of every preparation (including raw), chilled oysters, and multiple preparations of tuna, crab and shrimp. My wife got the lobster tails, which were done very nicely. The bang bang shrimp and tuna avocado tartare are both nice apps to share as well.
Service: 10
Service is top notch. Well dressed in the traditional white shirt & bow tie, attentive but not annoying, and they know their meat. Sometimes I like to test them on their knowledge, but there was no need; the waiter immediately told me all about the ribeye when I asked how big it was. A good note here: the bartender remembered my drink order after I sat down. When I first get to a steakhouse, I like to order a drink at the bar, assess things, etc. When the waiter put my order for a second martini in, the bartender remembered, and asked the waiter if it was the same customer. Nice touch. I like that. The table breads were a nice assortment of raisin pumpernickel, slices of rye, onion bread buns, and standard dinner rolls – all toasty and warm. The butter was cool/cold, but it was whipped so not that hard to spread against the warm bread (and bacon). This has changed to a simple dinner roll, a very nice one though. The steak sauce is very sweet, but when you eat it with their bacon it almost tastes like pineapple.
Ambiance: 8
The owners took the Luger concept and made it more upscale. The dark wood furniture is contrasted with the bright white linens and curtains. Yet you don’t get a sense of pompousness or over-elegance. It is the right mix of manliness and culture; like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a tuxedo. The bathrooms could use a little work – they are standard bar type bathrooms, but with a good smell and some interesting Yankees memorabilia.
I’m going to keep this update relatively short and streamlined, since I’ve been here so many times already, as evidenced below. I’m very happy to see that this classic, true NYC joint is still consistently delivering delicious food.
My old score was a 94, but I’ve bumped it up to a 96 after attending a press meal here (and ultimately to a 97 after more visits). Here’s what to take away from it all:
Flavor: This is still a 10, but the 45-day bone-in rib eye is really the true star of the steak menu. The prime Double R Ranch beef has an incredible earthy, nutty aroma that lingers in the air all around the plate. The flavor is powerful and savory.
We also tried the porterhouse for two and the tomahawk rib eye for two. Both of these are about 8/10. There was some slight overcooking here, but the flavor was still nice from the 28-days of dry-aging. On average, though, when you take into account the great signature Delmonico cut, strip and filet options (which I already reviewed way back), the 10 score is solid and reliable. My favorite of all the cuts I’ve tried, though, is that rib eye above. Insane. Anyway, here are some shots of the porterhouse and tomahawk for two:
Portion Size: Now a 9. Meats are well hung here.
Price: I’ve changed the price score from a 9 to a 10. This joint somehow manages to keep big ticket items like lobster and booze relatively affordable. The bar is slinging $10 glasses of Michter’s bourbon, for fuck’s sake! That’s unheard of in a steak joint. Bravo. And they’re still mixing up a delicious martini.
Here’s a barrage of sides, starters and desserts. My favorites of these are the bacon and the wagyu tartare, which I could easily live on if someone told me that I could never touch another true cut of steak again. Both are incredible. In fact, this bacon is my new favorite bacon, ever.
Bacon: this is house smoked and cured, maple glazed, sous vide for days, and then rendered off to absolutely shocking perfection.
Wagyu Tartare: Snake River Farms supplies the top end American wagyu here.
Prawns:
Onion Rings:
Foie Gras:
Corn:
Broccoli:
Creamed Spinach:
Mushrooms:
Baked Alaska: These things sat out for a half hour or more while we shot them and talked with the chef (Billy Oliva), but they still held up: cold creamy ice cream inside, awesomely soft and flavorful outer marshmallow shell. They nail it!
Seafood: This is being bumped from a 9 to a 10 as well. The Lobster Newburg is just so iconic here. It really is incredible. The butter cayenne sauce takes shellfish and seafood to a whole other level.
And the baked oysters are like no other:
Some other items to discuss:
The table bread: Classic warm dinner rolls with nice whipped butter.
Eggs Benedict: this was also invented here (along with Baked Alaska, Chicken a la King, Lobster Newburg and fine dining in general). Caviar on top?!?? Yes please…
Eggs Benedict Burger: Holy shit this thing is decadent. The thick cut bacon is also on top of the burger patty as well as the poached egg. And the English Muffin is slathered with a delicious truffle sauce that will knock your socks off.
180 Year Anniversary: Yeah that’s right. It’ll be 180 years this summer. To celebrate, they’re putting 180-day dry aged beef on the menu. I can’t fucking wait for that!
OLD REVIEW:
Delmonico’s claims to be the first fine dining restaurant in the country. In addition to that interesting bit of history, Delmonico’s is famous for coining the “delmonico steak” cut/term – which is a boneless ribeye (though there is some debate as to which cut was actually used back in the day). That’s right – this place invented the delmonico steak (duh). I’ve been here once before, but it was a while back, so a second visit solidified the experience for a thorough review. This time I got a nice 30% discount from a Village Vines coupon, which was helpful on this man-date with my cousin. After a third visit, things have gone up in scoring. See italics below for updates as of 6/8/12:
Flavor: 10
This place was perfect in terms of flavor. My cousin got the filet, and I got the signature delmonico/boneless ribeye. Just the right amount of crisp and seasoning (salt and pepper – nothing fancy – they respect the meat), and just the right temperature when the plates arrived. The meat was well rested and cooked just right. The filet was ordered rare, and the ribeye was ordered medium. They were both delicious. The strip I had on my third visit was amazing as well. Cooked a little under from what I ordered, but I kinda knew it would come out like that so I went with it, and I enjoyed it. Still perfectly rested, nice and juicy, and packed full of flavor. On my fourth visit my wife and I shared the 36oz double ribeye. I was shocked at how nicely cooked it was. Some places, like Quality Meats, tend to overcook the edges and undercook the middle, due to the thickness of the meat. But this place didn’t suffer from that problem. it was just right. The fat on it was unbelievably delicious. It was like a jiggly, melty pork or duck fat with super-thin crispy brown edges that just melted in your mouth. Sticky and yummy!
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Delmonico’s has all the basics and then some. They have the signature delmonico steak (18oz boneless ribeye), as well as a 36oz double cut bone-in ribeye (which I plan to get if I go there again). The double porterhouse is about 36oz, and there are also filets (in the 10oz-12oz range) and strips (16oz). The strip, porterhouse and 3-pounder are all listed as dry aged and the strip is listed as prime, but I think all of the cuts are prime and aged. Delmonico’s pretty much just covers the basics, but they do it well. On the third visit they even offered a t-bone in their specials, so I upped this by a point.
Portion Size & Plating: 8 (now 9)
The portions here are normal. As mentioned above, the steaks broke down as follows: 18oz boneless delmonico; 36oz bone-in ribeye; 36oz porterhouse; 16oz strip; and 10oz-12oz filet. The plating was elegant but restrained; good for men, nothing too fancy.
Price: 9 (now 10)
The prices are average to slightly high, but given the exceptional flavor of the steak, it is totally worth it. I thought the foie gras was overpriced and small ($21 on first visit, $24 on fourth visit), but hey – it IS goose liver. We were nice and full, but not uncomfortable, like lions after devouring a wildebeest. That said, I got 30% off through Village Vines, which was a bonus. They also offer the same deal for (aged.) by the way. The total spent for four martinis ($13 and $14 each), foie gras, special oysters, creamed spinach and two steaks came to around $190, tax and tip included. We skipped dessert. On our third visit, we had a party of four and the bill felt like it was less than I expected; probably due to having a 15% discount ala Savored. As a result, I upped the points here a little, since it seems Delmonico’s is generous in terms of offering and participating in price specials and online deals. A fourth trip proved yet again to involve a great deal through the web: Groupon had a four-course meal for two at $50/pp (I think we only ended up paying $92 for the deal too, since there was a coupon code for the coupon – then our bill was only $62 at the end for drinks, tax and tip – incredible deal). Amazing, since there were very little restrictions on what you could order. In fact they even let us grab both the fois gras AND the king crab mac & cheese, both of which are over-and-above items that usually cost more than the other apps.
Bar: 10
Delmonico’s has a really fantastic old-school bar. It is sunken down a few steps from the main dining room, and it has a side entrance through a revolving door off the corner from the main entrance. They serve a great steak sandwich there to boot. This is the kind of bar every steak man or lover of “ye olde tyme” things should visit. It is, simply put, an American classic. One look at the lounge and bar pics on their website should have you salivating for booze and beef. They made a good martini too, despite a missing olive on our second round, but I take that into account more in my service section rather than changing my bar rating. On my third visit, the martini had three olives right off the bat (they learned!), and it was still mixed perfectly.
Specials and Other Meats: 10
In the “other meats” category, Delmonico’s offers a fat veal chop, which is nice, lamb chops, and chicken. Standard plus, I would say. For specials, I would call the 3lb ribeye a special, but other than that, they do offer some off-the-menu items. The Chicken a’ la Keene (served with a pimento cream sauce) is also a signature dish created in the 1880’s and with a rich history: the dish ultimately became known as “chicken a’ la king.” Yes – Delmonico’s invented that dish too! On special, there was a 5lb lobster for sharing (or not!), and some special oysters for an appetizer: three pairs from different regions. We ordered the oysters. On special for round three there were some different items; the “Kobe carpaccio,” a lobster cocktail, cucumber soup, and a t-bone steak for one. Well played for mixing it up; I added a point here. I also got to taste a bite of their famous Chicken ala King/Keene; crispy skin with a juicy and delicious inside. It was almost like duck. Since we pretty much tried all the specials and enjoyed them, I am giving full points here now.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 9
We started with the oysters special. One was briny and fishy, one was normal, and one, called a stingray oyster, was awesome. All were on the small side, however. That’s not necessarily a bad thing: I just expected one or two to be a little larger. Then we had foie gras. It was sort of small, and sat on a hunk of bread that was a little too thick in proportion, but it tasted like the really good, soft, melty fat of a ribeye that you can eat. My cousin wasn’t that impressed with it, and said he probably wouldn’t order it again. I probably wouldn’t either for that price ($21), but I definitely liked it. With dinner we had the staple: creamed spinach. It wasn’t that good: kinda bland. It was made fresh, but it lacked roundness and creaminess. We skipped dessert this time around. On the third trip, we started with grilled marinated octopus. It was delicious, and really nicely presented. Cooked perfectly tender with NO chew, and served in little pretzel-like curls. I also had the “Kobe carpaccio,” which was absolutely amazing; dressed nicely, salted well, and topped with a healthy amount of shaved truffles. I also tasted a small spoonful of the cucumber soup, which was really light and refreshing, and the lobster cocktail was a nice one-pounder. We shared grilled asparagus as well, which was good. Last, on recommendation we tried the famous baked Alaska (apparently the dish originated here as well), which was good but it didn’t change my life. I’ve upped the score from 7 to 9 here. On a fourth visit, we tried the king crab mac & cheese, which was made with a broad spital pasta and folded with light, creamy and melty cheese and cream, and topped with crispy breadcrumbs. It was nice! We also had the spaetzl, which was good and firm, made with a crispy pancetta, and peppered with sauteed greens to boot. Delicious. For dessert we also tried the chocolate bread pudding (not so great), and a rice pudding pie (really great). The best non-steak items I tried on that fourth visit, however, were the “Jim Brady Oysters.” Creamy, bacony, cheesey goodness through and through. It changed my entire outlook on whether oysters are permitted to be cooked. They’re fantastic.
Seafood Selection: 9 (now 10)
Lobster, halibut, and snapper were listed under entrees in addition to the seafood towers and shellfish on the appetizer menu. The lobster dish, Lobster Newberg, also a signature dish with a unique sauce, has a great story to go along with it (also originated here at the restaurant). They also offered the 5lb special lobster for two, which seemed like a fun thing to order if you are a giant pussy. My wife tried the seafood plateau appetizer as her main course on our third visit and it was great. It came with oysters, shrimp, lump crabmeat, and lobster.
Service: 10
A quick note about the actual servers here… John, Igor, and Reno are amazing, professional, and seasoned waiters. If you have the good fortune of getting any of them to take your order and serve your table, you are definitely in good hands. The service is great here – really top notch. Everyone knows their meat, and they are right there whenever you need something. Literally – you can see the waiters lined up near the doors to the kitchen watching over the dining room. They stay out of your way, yet they know when you need attention. All male waitstaff, ties: the classic steakhouse experience. The check getting and paying process was fast as well. I’ve dropped a point off here only because our second round of martinis were missing an olive. A martini should always have at least three olives, regardless of size. The olives here are nice and big, fleshy and fresh, but we still must have three. When we ordered our first round, at the bar, they came with three. Our second round, ordered at the table, only had two. My cousin pointed out that it is bad luck to NOT have three. The waiter wasn’t aware that martinis should have three olives, but he quickly remedied the situation and brought over a couple more on a small plate. The little things make a difference. I should also note that martinis are like tits: one is not enough, and three is too many (unlike olives). Heed this wisdom. I had a hard time deciding if I should knock the point off in the service section or in the bar section, but ultimately decided it should be taken from here. And since I didn’t want to take a FULL point off for that minor infraction, I figured it would round out the point to mention that the butter served with the bread was cold and hard (but the bread was semi-warm and crispy). Two half points off make a whole point off. Bread was better on the second trip; nicely seasoned rolls and buns, and also seasoned pretzel-like onion bread with a nice crispy, yet soft outside. Service has gone up to 10 from a 9 because the waiter was dead honest when I asked about the steak special; he told me it was a t-bone, emphasizing that it was NOT a porterhouse because it had a smaller filet side. Also the martini olive situation seems to be fixed.
Ambiance: 10
Delmonico’s is known for its private dining rooms and alcoves, its fantastic bar, and rich history. Both times I ate here were in the main dining room, which is adorned with a huge mural of 1920’s style fanciness, great wood paneling on the walls between windows, wide spacious floor, and high ceiling. It is very elegant yet still maintains a classic steakhouse feel. It is similar to Sparks in that regard, but without the gaudy mafia overtones. The bathroom, through the bar area, was small, but it had nice dark tiling all the way up the walls, a fresh cinnamon smell, and medium quality paper hand towels (not the thick, cloth-like stuff).
