fresh | Johnny Prime

I don’t really review supermarkets, but every so often I feel the need to pipe up about something that bothers me. And don’t be alarmed, I WILL say some good things too, but let me get to the bad shit first.

I don’t know if its’ some new fucking food waste trend, or if it’s just the shitty condition of Manhattan grocery stores in general, but the produce at these two supermarkets have royally sucked lately. Every time I go to the Columbus Circle, 9th Avenue and 57th Street locations of these joints, the greens, veggies and produce are half rotten. And Columbus Circle is supposed to be THE FLAGSHIP Whole Foods location, from what I understand.

I can’t even remember how many times I’ve picked up a head of broccoli only to have the stems bend like rubber under its own weight. I’ve purchased a head of lettuce for $3 or $4 and had to throw half of it out because it was turning fucking brown.

Yes, yes. None of us like to waste food. I know all about “ugly food” initiatives, and I support them. Why toss it if you can sell it, or give it to someone who is hungry?

But this garbage should be discounted if the condition is going to always be shitty. In Manhattan, this crap is double the price of the suburbs. We are getting raped here.

Part of the reason, I’m convinced, is because of those dumb fucking sprinkler systems that spray water on the produce every minute. Dumb. It just asks for rot to form on the food. The other reason, maybe more specific to Manhattan, is the heat in Summer, slow delivery times due to traffic, and poor refrigeration. Either way I’m not happy about it.

On the other hand, Whole foods has an awesome deli and fresh pre-prepared food area, along with a kick ass bakery, beer selection and olive bar. Morton Williams has a nice deli too. I picked up this sandwich the other day and really enjoyed it: smoked turkey, provolone cheese, roasted red peppers and pesto on a roll: $7.25.

Another item for the plus column: beef selection. While the items can get pricey at times, the quality is very good. Whole Foods offers dry aged beef, and both joints have some great sales if you watch out for them.

Also, sometimes the choice quality stuff at Morton is just as good as prime. You may recall my article about this from a while back.

Me, my wife, and some of our friends went to this pretty crazy Korean restaurant in Woodside called Sik Gaek. Good luck reading the website if you can’t read Korean. However the pics are nice under the “Delicious Table” drop down menu. They have some nice looking meats and fish.

I say “crazy” not to be judgmental of other cultures, but rather to demonstrate the purely subjective boundaries which I needed to cross to actually partake in the ingesting of food here. It’s crazy for ME, in other words. I typically eat my food cooked (with the exception of sushi, ceviche, shellfish and tartare). Not only that, but I usually eat my animals and fish AFTER they are good and dead (again, with the exception of shellfish). Also – my food usually isn’t MOVING. As you’ll see below, these western culinary conventions are thrown out the window at Sik Gaek. And that’s a good thing.

This place (the Flushing location rather than the Woodside spot we went to) was actually featured on an episode of Anthony Bourdain’s show on the Travel Channel called “No Reservations.” The show is now off the air, as he has moved to CNN with “Parts Unknown” (it’s essentially the same show). In the “No Reservations” episode clipped below, he was in the midst of doing a tour of various “hidden” Asian food and culture spots around Queens with renowned chef David Chang. Watch as he eats still-moving, live, marinated and chopped octopus:

It makes me think of a shocking scene from the Korean film Old Boy, which has one of the most fucked-up twist endings ever, and is one of the most fucked-up but excellent movies of our time. No doubt this film will garner even more attention when Spike Lee fucks it up upon the release of his remake later this year, starring Josh Brolin:

Anyway… on to the actual food that we ate. It turns out there was a huge disappointment. They were out of live octopus. So after all that babble above, I didn’t really get to test the limits of my culinary tolerances. We did enjoy some delicious food though, and some of it was still moving while it cooked in the hot pot. Check out the pics below.

First, the drinks. Two types of beer, two types of soju, and a watermelon full of vagina juice (watermelon punch):

Almost forgot the Psy shot glass:

Next, the starters. First up, eggs and veggies:

Then rice cakes and tofu skin with spicy sauce, along with some pickled items and dips:

Then we had some thick cut pork belly:

Then we moved on to the seafood hot pot, which contained lobster, blue claw crab, shrimp, clams, mussels, razor clams, abalone, baby octopus, squid, udon noodles, bean sprouts, and cabbage. They even give you a trash bucket beside the table to throw all the shells in.

And YES – the lobster was still moving at our table while it cooked:

Since they knew we were there for the live octopus, and we had made the reservation and tried to reserve a ‘pus for the table way in advance of getting there, they felt bad and gave us a plate of bacon wrapped mushrooms on the house: