Greek Easter

This year a friend of mine invited me over to his parents’ house to partake in the delicious food associated with Greek Easter. Namely, an entire lamb roasting on a spit!

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The crazy thing was that while I was getting ready to head over to his house, another friend of mine started texting me photos of a Greek joint on the upper east side that was spit-roasting a lamb right on the sidewalk. Awesome!

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Anyway, here’s a quick shot of what the lamb looked like once my buddy’s’ dad broke it down into more easily devourable portions:

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I actually meant to shoot some video of the fucker’s head spinning round and round on the spit, sizzling away over the coals… but we got to reminiscing and catching up, so the cell phone never really made it out of my pocket.

There was a lot of other awesome shit too, like lamb gyro meat, minced pork, meat skewers, spanakopita (spinach pies), toasted garlic pita bread, cheese pies, lemon and herb roasted potatoes, and amazing baklava desserts. I was actually surprised that the bottle of ouzo I brought was the only one on site! Needless to say, we killed that thing.

Cured and Smoked Salmon

Let me take a few moments to explain why I love this shit so much: Salmon that has been fucked with in some way (whether smoked or cured) is one of the few fish items that has an almost meaty persona. When you start sucking down slices of that beautifully bright colored shit, you almost feel like you’re eating raw beef. The texture of it, the chilled temperature, the addition of some capers, onion or a little olive oil… it’s difficult not to see the similarity to something like beef carpaccio. Just imagine this picture being a red color instead of pinkish-orange:

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One thing I’ve come across in my chowing of this delicious stuff is that it is called by many names. Lox, cold-smoked salmon, Gravlax, etc… and then there is almost invariably a location element, which is sometimes just a way to add descriptive and fresh sounding words to a menu item: Nova Scotia, Scottish, Wild Alaskan, etc. What does it all mean? Check out the essentials below:

Lox: In the days of old, this was strictly sourced from salmon belly only, though now other parts of the fish are used. It is either brined or salt-cured, usually for a few weeks, but it is not smoked or cooked in any way. This would be the purist’s pick.

Gravlax: This shit is the Scandinavian version of lox. Dill, peppers, sugar, juniper berries, horseradish and even liquors like brandy or aquavit are used while curing to accent the flavor. It is not smoked, and it is often pressed while it cures, to eliminate moisture.

Nova Lox: This lox is cold-smoked after brining/curing, and, as the name obviously suggests, it hails from Nova Scotia. That being said, the words “Nova Lox” are increasingly being used to specify the curing process as opposed to being a strict geographical marker. Fuck that. Words have meaning, people. Let’s not get too crazy.

Cold-Smoked Salmon: Essentially it is Nova Lox that comes from a place other than Nova Scotia. Any part of the fish can be used (not just the belly), and “cold” is somewhat of a misnomer, as the temperature is typically about 80 degrees while it is exposed to smoke

Hot-Smoked Salmon: This is essentially BBQ’d salmon. The salmon gets completely cooked through. Like poached or grilled salmon would, the meat will flake apart. It has a smoky flavor but a more firm, dry texture.

So now you’re armed with the lingo, and you’re no longer a Nova Lox Novice: You’re a cold-smoked pro, and you know what to expect from your salmon. Which do you prefer?

What do I like? Pretty much all of it except for hot-smoked. I generally don’t like my salmon to be cooked, unless it’s on crispy skin. My ideal preparation would have all the spices and flavors from the Scandanavian Gravlax preparation, but it would also be cold-smoked to add a little more manliness. Fuck yeah… and with some capers, red onions and a little bit of olive oil or truffle oil on top…

Doughnut Plant

While I really can’t give a full-blown review of this place because I got my doughnut from Whole Foods, I can tell you that I absolutely loved the frosted blueberry doughnut. It was absolutely perfect. Soft, moist, flavorful, cake and delicious. Can’t wait to eat more of these fucks now that I know Whole Foods stocks them on site.

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Side note: the PB&J doughnut is intensely good. Essentially it is a glazed donut that’s filled with jelly and then topped with chunky peanut butter. Why hasn’t this ever been done before?!?? And the coconut cream doughnut was amazing too.

DOUGHNUT PLANT
220 W. 23rd St.
New York, NY 10011

Le District

Le District is a pretty cool French food hall type of joint down in Battery Park City, beneath Hudson Eats. The place is broken down by what they sell in each area, such as cheeses, meats, crepes, etc. Check it out:

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Hudson Eats

Hudson Eats is a food hall down in Battery Park City. There’s a  bunch of good shit here to try. I’m glad to see more stuff like this popping up around the city.

Blue Ribbon Sushi:

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Blue Bottle Coffee:

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Little Muenster – a grilled cheese shop:

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Northern Tiger Chinese food:

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Mighty Quinn’s BBQ joint. I reviewed their main location HERE.

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Num Pang – great asian sandwich shop. Check out my review HERE.

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Oh and by the way – really nice view from the seating area:

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Salad joint for pussies:

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Dos Toros:

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Dig Inn:

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Skinny Pizza – likely for pussies:

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(Titty) Sprinkles bakery:

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Olive’s:

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There’s Black Seed Bagels, which is all the rage right now (see my separate review):

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And there’s also an Umami Burger outpost (see my separate review):

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Another note about this place: they just opened up a fancy French food hall on the lower level, called Le District. See my write up of that place HERE.

Black Seed Bagels

I don’t understand the infatuation with Black Seed Bagels. They’re small, incredibly overpriced, and taste no better than any other good bagel shop in Manhattan. This satellite location at Hudson Eats was understaffed. It took way too long for my bagel to come out, because there was only one person making orders (and there were only two people ahead of me on line when I walked up).

Complaints aside, I did like my bagel. I ordered an everything bagel toasted with cream cheese, salmon, tomato, red onion and capers. The bagel wasn’t very toasted and came to me kind of cold. Not the worst sin (I like my salmon and cream cheese to be cold), but a toasty bagel would have been titties.

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BLACK SEED BAGELS
Brookfield Place
200 Vesey St.
New York, NY 10080

Square Diner

One of my all time favorite diners to eat at is down in Tribeca. The place is small, and they keep their prices fucking LOW. It’s a low key little joint where you almost feel like you’ve stepped into suburbia, if not for the occasional celebrity dining across from you in sunglasses with a newspaper in front of their face. I always went for standard diner fare here, like eggs, pancakes, burgers, fries, and shakes. Never disappointed for what it is.

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I went to law school around the block from this little hole in the wall, and my first impression upon seeing it and walking in was that it was going to suck. It’s just a skinny, narrow little one story building with old school signage. But I have to say – this diner is one of the best I’ve ever been to in my life. The food is CHEAP too, but very good. Prime example is the burger. For under $10 you can get a burger deluxe with fries and a drink, and it’s good shit. The interior is close quarters: there’s a bar seating area and a dozen or so tables that stretch back into a narrowing corner. The fun part is that on occasion you will see some famous actors who live nearby eating there or grabbing coffee. This place is definitely worth a try, at the very least for the nostalgia and cheap-eats aspect. You will feel like you are out of town for sure.

SQUARE DINER
33 Leonard St.
New York, NY 10013

Taco House

Nothing to brag about here. This is one of those wham-bam thank you ma’am type of Mexican food joints run by Asians. Pretty much everything is under $2. It will fill you up, but make sure you’re close to a toilet bowl after about 30 minutes, just to be safe. This stuff got me through law school, so I can’t knock it too much. I always went for the bean burritos and the guacamole with grilled chicken, because the regular tacos were just too fucking greasy. Shit you pay, shits you get.

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TACO HOUSE
178 Church St.
New York, NY 10013

Pakistan Tea House

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED

One of my late night food fix spots, this place serves up great food for a low price. I get the Makhani chicken with spinach and chic peas over rice. Always satisfies, and the fresh made bread in the tandoori oven is amazing. Always tons of cabs out front = you know it is good.

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PAKISTAN TEA HOUSE
176 Church St.
New York, NY 10013

Umami Burger

My wife and I took a stroll through Hudson Eats and took down one of these burgers. I gotta say; it WAS pretty good. We had the manly burger and an order of truffled up fries. Very nice, though with a Six Point Sweet Action the total came to about $28. I can totally get behind the big hype on this joint though. Truffle burger might have to be next!

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On a second visit to this location, I lost a little of the oomph for this place. My wife and I ordered a sunny side burger (with the egg on top), a truffle burger (sorely in need of a crunch element), and the Korean fries (big let down).

The sunny side burger was pretty great, mostly because the softness of the bun and burger were broken up by a parmesan chip and some arugula. However, the meat was well done – very overcooked.

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The truffle burger was delicious, with truffle cheese and all that oniony goodness. It was cooked to about medium well, which is okay for me but not ideal. The meat tasted overworked (very uniform and springy), a little greasy, and like it was not fresh/formerly frozen. I’ve had better burgers at diners. Worst thing about this was that it was in dire need of a crunch element. No lettuce? Come on, people…

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The Korean fries sucked. They were sweet potato fries with some kimchi on them. Soggy too – no crispy crunch whatsoever.

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The onion rings, however, were pretty good. They were very fluffy with an almost dough batter fried around them. Pretty fun and quite filling in the tummy.

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I went back to the location in Williamsburg recently for an 8-burger tasting, and I have to say this place is back on the up. While our meal was free due to it being a press event, the quality of all the burgers we tried was top notch. They still need to work lettuce or crunch elements into their burgers, but overall it was a big success.

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UMAMI BURGER – HUDSON EATS
Brookfield Place
225 Liberty St
New York, NY 10281

UMAMI BURGER – WILLIAMSBURG
158 N 4th St
Brooklyn, NY 11211