A waiter named Jeremy over at Capital Grille (midtown west) recommended this place when we got to chatting about the city’s best burgers. He certainly knew his food shit, so I was excited to finally get here to try the burger. The same owners are involved with Bar Sardine, which also slings an excellent burger, so I knew I’d be in good hands at the very least.
Jeremy’s suggestion was a good one! This baby, although slapped between two buttery pieces of sourdough toast (as opposed to on a proper bun), was packed with great flavor. The meat is dry aged beef, and it was seared to a perfect temperature: pink center, good crust all around to lock in the juices, and well seasoned. Above and beneath the patty is a bernaise cheese spinach and pickled onions, respectively. Loved every bite. The bernaise cheese brought a little funk to the party (with a nice nod to steakhouse “creamed spinach,” I might add), and the pickled onion was a great twist on the much needed acid. The fried were natural cut, nice and crispy, and well seasoned with herbs and sea salt. Take a look at this shit:
UPDATE AS OF 8/25/15
My wife and I stopped in for a quick dinner after a Tabelog event nearby. We kept it pretty basic. First was a nice snack of fresh radishes with country bread, whipped butter and salt flakes. The radishes were actually pretty spicy and had a great pop to them.
My wife had the mussels. Many of them were pretty small inside the shell. I don’t like them too big, but I also don’t like them too small. The broth had some fresh herb notes to it, like maybe tarragon. I’ve had better mussels elsewhere, but that’s not to say that these were bad by any means.
I ordered the hanger steak frites. It was perfectly cooked to medium rare and had a good sear on the outside. The sauce with it was garlicky and gave it pop. The texture of the meat was slightly off. It reminded me of some of the odd meats my wife and I used to get in Mexico from the resorts. Almost like it was over tenderized using an MSG type of product. I’m sure that’s not what was done here, but it just had that feel to it. Otherwise I liked it. I’d say its about a 7 out of 10, possibly an 8.
It was PACKED when we arrived at around 1pm on a Saturday, even after all these years of being in business. Good for them! We were looking at roughly an hour wait unless we grabbed a seat at the bar. So we put our name down on the list to be seated, and headed upstairs to the second bar in hopes of scoring a seat a little faster. To our great fortune, a group of four people were getting up from the bar to be seated at their table. When I went to grab a pair of stools for my wife and I, a woman slid over one seat and was claiming the two bar stools in the middle of the four. I asked her politely if she could move over in one direction so that my wife and I could sit, but the loser wouldn’t move.
Four spots open up and she jumped into the center two, by herself, while waiting for her guest, who wasn’t even there yet? That’s just bad social etiquette. She was nasty, too, and had horrible breath. When I explained that there are four available seats and four people who want to sit, she started to argue “but we are getting lunch.” Newsflash: so are we! And she was getting aggressive and loud! So I alerted the manager. He politely asked her and her guest, “Ken,” who had lightly shoved me at one point after his date called me “scary,” to move. They wouldn’t move . The manager kindly sat us right away when they wouldn’t shift, I assume effectively jumping us ahead in the wait line. We ended up with a much better seat anyway, downstairs, with plenty of elbow room.
My wife had one of the $14 cocktails called “Novo Mundo,” made with a Brazilian rum type booze (cachaca), egg white, sugar and lemon.
I had a pair of Naragansett beers, which I like to call Manhattan’s new PBR, because it’s cheap, in a can and because I’ve been enjoying it way before it made it onto the Hipsters’ radar. They always seem take what I like and fuck it up. Whether it is gentleman’s caps, twisty butcher mustaches, vintage graphic t-shirts, bacon, beards or beers. Fucking animals.
We ordered some starters. The pickles were WAY the fuck overpriced, at $6 for what is typically a free amount at a place like Keens. The deviled egg was a little pricey at $4. Both items were tasty. The pickles were bright and tart, and consisted of carrots, gherkins, radish and green beans.
photo by my wife
For the entrees, my wife ordered sisig pork. It had some bits of pig ear and other nice things, topped with a runny fried egg. Essentially this is their English “bubble and squeak” dish, but with Filipino spices and herbs like cilantro. It was good, lots of pork meat, but too salty, and a little greasy as well.
The burger I ordered was good, perfectly cooked. The bun was great, durable and grilled. The negatives: the Roquefort cheese was a little overpowering of the burger meat, and it definitely could have used a slice of tomato and some lettuce. I’ve had this burger in the past, about 10 years ago. I think it may have cost around $16 back then. It’s $21 now, but since it comes with “fries” the cost is very fair.
The shoestring potatoes had fried garlic slices and fried rosemary mixed throughout, and tasted and felt, crisp/texture-wise, like the old school potato sticks snacks.
The banoffee dessert was very good – not too sweet; just right. Essentially this English dessert pie is made from bananas, cream and toffee made from boiled sweetened condensed milk.
THE SPOTTED PIG
314 W. 11th St.
New York, NY 10014
A while back Luke’s had a special $5 off day, which made their lobster rolls $10 instead of $15. I put this baby down in no time. It was really tasty, excellent lump style meat, perfectly cooked. I always thought they were too expensive and over-priced until I actually had one. There’s a good deal of lobster meat on these babies. Check it out:
As usual, my wife got a sweet deal for this place; dinner and a show for two for $60. I wasn’t expecting to like either the food or the entertainment, but I was surprised at how good the food was, and how fun the entertainment was.
We started at the bar, which is really elegant and fancy. It’s set up like a 1920’s sort of art deco social club. They have a nice cocktail menu ($14 each). I had the Bowery Honey Bee, and my wife had a “That’s Gold, Darling.”
The table bread came out in a stainless steel cone, and was served warm and toasty, with a dish of white bean puree that resembled hummus, but with less aggressive spices.
Our deal entitled us to a limited menu three course tasting. I started with the roasted shrimp and grits. The shrimp were perfectly cooked and the grits were creamy. I just wish there was more!
My wife had the mushroom veloute, which was creamy, earthy and rich.
For my entree, I had the ale-braised pork shoulder, which came with mashed potatoes and sliced, roasted carrots. This was really nice. The meat was tender, soft and juicy.
My wife had the salmon, which was perfectly cooked and came with cannellini beans and tomatoes. I typically don’t like cooked salmon, but this was really tasty.
For dessert, I chose the sticky toffee pudding. It was mor elite a bread pudding than a proper pudding, so I was taken back a bit when it came to the table. It was delicious though, and warm. The ice cream scoop on top was the perfect balance.
My wife had the cheesecake of the day, which was apple. Very unique. And good timing for around the Thanksgiving holiday: a mash up of New York (cheesecake) and Americana (apple pie). Great flavors.
The entertainment was a blast. The band was playing classic soul and motown hits, and the singer was excellent!
He even did a few duets with a female vocalist – serious hips on her!
The funny thing about the show was that in-between songs, a pair of burlesque ladies would come out and jiggle their shit on stage. It was basically a classy strip joint in period-piece attire (or lack thereof).
The best part was watching the band as THEY watched the dancers, laughing, crack jokes to one another as they played, etc. The guitarist was getting dresses and bras thrown at him from across the room. He dangled this red sparkly one from his guitar:
My awesome wife and I rocked the shit out of this place with my awesome cousin and his equally awesome wife after said awesome cousin told me how awesome the burger was at this place. I must say that I agree with the call that this burger was as every bit as awesome as described. But we also had some other awesome shit as well.
What, you might ask? How about this awesome cucumber, coconut water and gin drink?
The awesome appetizers we took down consisted of three awesome plates of food.
First were these awesome deviled eggs. These little fucks were whipped up with black bean paste, soy sauce and black garlic, then topped with some sliced onion and a dot of sriracha sauce.
Next up was this awesome plate of roasted carrots. These were topped with puffed, caramelized squash seeds and served alongside a spicy hummus. These were fuck-yo-mamma-in-the-ass good. Light, yet hearty and filling.
Last of the starters was what I consider to be the most awesome cheese in the entirety of the cheese industry. Burrata. Here it was served with some confit tomatoes and anchovies, with a little toast and olive oil as well. I’ve had better/softer burrata at other joints, but this was a really tasty item.
Now that the awesome foreplay scene is done, we can eagerly move on to the full blown penetration. I’m talking’ some deep, cervix-mashing penetration.
This “Fedora Burger” is… how can I put this… awesome. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare, topped with house made pickles (light, maybe a quarter sour, more like cucumbers than pickles), crispy potato shreds, red onions, smoked cheddar and BBQ mayo. The bun was strong yet soft and pliable – it stood up well to the burger, and it even had a little toast to it for good measure. Take a look at this little slut:
And like all awesome sluts, they’re still pink on the inside.
My awesome wife ordered the special for the day, which was a Cuban sandwich. This sandwich was a big ol’ bitch. Extremely buttery and toasty on the outside, and porky grilled cheese-like on the inside, this Cuban was intense.
However, as awesome as the Cuban was, that fucking whore burger shined brighter than the mother fucking North Star in comparison, as if leading all of our taste buds directly to Jesus God-damned Baby Christ in his hay-filled and barnyard-animal-surrounded manger.
The little fucking poor-ass drummer boy even tried to use a pair of half-crisped herbed french fries to wail away on that perfect burger-drum for the King of Kings on his birthday. The fries packed some good flavor but still needed a little crisp to make them worthy of the word awesome.
The place got awesomely packed. I snapped a pic of the bar area and some wall art, as well as the not-so-awesome bill, which was a little high but worth every penny.
So that’s 21 times that I used the word awesome. <= That’s 22.
This place intrigued me after I tasted some of their suppliers meats at the wine and food festival. I figured I would give their burger a shot. It was good – lots of flavor. I’d put it above Bareburger but perhaps not quite as good as Penrose. The bread was durable yet soft, the meat was nicely cooked and well handled. The fries were perfectly golden brown and crispy.
Parlor is an exclusive, private social club that has a unique focus on fine dining and creations from chef Hilary Ambrose, who was previously a sous chef at Bouley, according to the materials I was sent.
About a week or so ago I received what I thought was yet another wedding invitation: another summons for a gift, as Seinfeld would put it. When I looked closely, I noticed that it was a special invitation for me and a guest to dine for free at this exclusive, invite-only social club.
The invitation included some press, some info about the restaurant, a sample menu, and a secret link to make a reservation for their preview dinner. I had originally included said link here in this review, but the people at Parlor politely asked me to remove it. I’ll play ball, I guess. Read on…
After browsing the website, and poking around at some reviews online, I found that membership is $1500 a year, plus a minimum $250 bar tab per quarter. Meals are “free” for up to four people, but not including a $10 per seat charge, plus the cost of drinks, tax and tip (which they automatically include in the bill at 20%, yet they still suggest that you tip an additional $10 per head on top of that). You can go as often as you want; you just need to make reservations ahead of time.
This isn’t a terrible deal, if it weren’t for the fact that my wife and I are constantly going to new places on a regular basis. If I had felt content in having been to all the greatest restaurants in NYC, if I felt the need to impress people with fancy and exclusive members-only type environments, or if I wanted a home-base kind of place to always go to for a solid meal once a week, I would certainly entertain the idea of joining a dining club (though maybe not this one). The fact that this place is recruiting little-old-me tells me that lots of people with their fingers on the pulse of NYC’s food scene think the same way that I do. Exclusive food clubs seem to be for pretentious people like the investment bankers in American Psycho, in the 80’s, or loser kids who need to create a social networking website and a facade of coolness in order to feel as if they’re well-liked. I’m not above dining with the masses. Food just needs to be good: it doesn’t need to be elitist or exclusive.
I was invited to join a free, exclusive underground dining club run by a celebrity chef about six months ago as well. Both my wife and I joined, created our online profiles, etc., but we haven’t bothered to go to any events yet. There are just too many amazing regular places to go to. My wife and I don’t want to commit to any one restaurant or one chef. We are enjoying being food whores.
If we joined a place like this we’d always feel like we would have to go and “get our money’s worth” and eat enough meals to tally up to the $2500+ yearly cost of membership. My wife compared it to a timeshare vacation. She’s absolutely right! It’s a timeshare restaurant. HA!
But hey – timeshares aren’t NOT for everyone. In other words, if you plan to use your membership well, then go for it! This could be the perfect thing for someone who needs to constantly entertain new clients, or who wants to impress friends or family, etc. I don’t mean to say all this to mock the place or to shit on members-only clubs. Not at all. My point is that it’s just not for me.
Alright enough of the commentary. Let’s get to what matters the most: the fucking food!
My buddy that I brought as a guest loved the concept and was intrigued by the atmosphere. I had somewhat of a soured flavor in my mind because my wife and I had our preview dinner reservation revoked a few weeks back due to over-crowding, despite making the reservation several weeks in advance. I believe Paul Mitchell (hair products guy) was in the house, so things were a bit hectic when we arrived. My wife had no interest in going back after that, and neither did I, really… but I thought my friend might enjoy it so I re-scheduled. I figured I may as well give it a shot to see what it was all about.
We started with an amuse of sweet corn financier. Or as normal people call it: corn bread. It was a little dry to be honest.
I snapped this and then soon realized I needed the flash.
The appetizer, which was by far the best part of the meal, was a slow poached egg with shaved chicken and shaved truffle, then topped with a parmesan froth and a crispy asparagus spear that was crusted with rice cake crisps on the bottom. The egg was nicely cooked – not too snotty, great yolk consistency, good flavor from the truffle without being too heavy.
The main course was a choice of swordfish or lamb porterhouse. I went with the lamb, naturally. It was an extremely small portion; maybe four to six ounces, max. I was hoping for two or three of these, since they are essentially two small “medallions” on each side of the t-bone. It was served with a yogurt cream, leek, potato and assorted veggies/greens. The meat was nicely executed and well seasoned, but I think the stars of the plate were the little tomato ball-bombs that you see nestled in the yogurt cream. They were bursting with flavor and juice.
My buddy had the swordfish. It was pretty good, though maybe just a bit overcooked. Also small in terms of portion size; the fish is maybe a 2.5in cube. We were definitely still hungry coming out of the entree course.
For dessert there was espresso ice cream with milk froth, goat’s milk caramel and hazelnuts. This was a nice, flavorful ice cream. It sort of looked like a mushroom from Super Mario Brothers, which is great, but we were still hungry after finishing the meal.
So, our “free” meal cost us $72 and we were still hungry afterwards. Now imagine having to pay another $1500 each year in membership fees. Nah. I’ll pass.
The best part of the experience here was this drink that my friend had at the bar: the Hudson Frost. Sort of like a white Russian who is on vacation in Hawaii and got drunk on an Italian digestif. Seriously though – great cocktail.
So I was thinking about the meal, the atmosphere, the space, etc., while pissing in the bathroom. They have these black and white photos of partying celebs and such on the walls. The one in the bathroom looked like JFK Jr. making bull horns while dancing. So we have a bull in the bathroom… next to the toilet… I took a pic. I call my work of art here “BULLSHIT.” A nice apropos closing to a sub-par, supra-priced and generally unfulfilling dining experience:
NOTE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CALLED BILL’S TOWNHOUSE AND MAY FEATURE A DIFFERENT MENU AND CHEF.
I grabbed a Groupon for this place: $55 for a three course meal for two. Not bad. At first I was almost going to include this in my steakhouse reviews page, but after speaking with the waiter I got the sense that their aim was to go for American restaurant as opposed to just steak. They’ve trimmed the steak selection from five cuts to three, so don’t be fooled by the paintings of steaks on the walls – that ain’t necessarily their main aim.
Oh, porterhouse… How I love thee… Let me count the ways…
I really liked this place. Great atmosphere, cool decor: taxidermy, framed old timey maps, and odd portrait paintings in a grand ballroom type of room with a massive fireplace and ornate mirrors.
The bar was jam packed for the after work happy hour, and I noticed that they even have a piano for live music performances down there.
So here was the menu for the three course price fix deal:
We started with drinks, and by far the two best cocktails were the lowlands old fashioned, and the Spanish gin and tonic. Really expertly mixed by the bartender. Then the bread came out – warm and toasty on the outside, soft and hot on the inside, and great smooth butter.
I had the roasted beets and my wife had the fennel and arugula salad with citrus. Both were really great. Mine was hearty, and her’s was light and fresh.
The entrees were both pretty much perfect. I had the peppercorn sauce strip steak. It was very slightly overcooked from how I ordered, but it was delicious nonetheless. The truffle herb fries were some of the best I’ve ever had. The addition of crispy fried basil on top was a great touch.
My wife had the Berkshire pork chop. This thing was THICK, and perfectly cooked. I’ve never had a pork chop like this that wasn’t dried out in some spots. This was juicy through and through.
Dessert was okay. I had a pumpkin cheesecake and my wife had a chocolate cake. The chocolate cake was like a very dense mousse; very rich, almost too sweet for me. It was a very big portion too – like a brick! The pumpkin cheesecake was light and fluffy, with a chocolate-based crust as opposed to graham cracker.
Here’s the total bill:
I definitely recommend this place. I will be back for sure. They have a rib eye for two on the regular menu that needs to be eaten…
On a second trip I tried both the wild Alaskan salmon and the roasted chicken. Both dishes had incredibly crispy skin, tons of flavor and perfect execution in terms of cooking temperature and juiciness. This place is fucking great.
The garbanzo bean soup was a little bit thin and light, but the smoky pork meat in it gave a flavor that reminded me of a split pea soup.
Dessert was soft serve ice cream. Simple but really hit the spot.
BILL’S FOOD & DRINK
57 E. 54th St.
New York, NY 10022
I popped in here for a quick lunch with a buddy of mine who was in town for a convention. I’d never been here before despite walking by a million times and always being aware of its existence. Perhaps I just assumed it was a standard overpriced midtown tourist trap or something.
So I took down their burger. I had a feeling it was going to be thick, so I didn’t go crazy with toppings: just cheese. I was right. Look at this fat fuck:
It was nice and tasty, well seasoned… and well… done… I ordered medium but it came back pretty much well done.
There’s still a slight bit of pink in there, so maybe medium well.
Anyway, the fries were not my preferred style. I like shoestring but these were steak fries.
The odd thing was that my buddy ordered a chicken sandwich and his came with shoestring fries. Hmm.
Anyway, the burger was still good despite being overcooked, So I may venture back in here for a steak some day, or perhaps the corned beef sandwich.
I grabbed a local Groupon deal for this joint to try out their burger. It turned out to be a pretty good meal. $30 for two drinks, two entrees, and a shared app.
We started off with some drinks, beer & wine:
Next came the apps (we ordered an additional). Bacon and onion mac and cheese, followed by chili duck sauce shrimp. Both were tasty, though I didn’t think the $3 up charge for the bacon and onion in the mac was worth it. Also the shrimp came with a thousand island dipping sauce which didn’t mix well with the asian style sauce that was already on them. Other than that the batter and frying were perfect.
Then the burger came out. I ordered a burger with American cheese, bacon, and jalapeños. My only gripe was that the bun was a little flakey/crusty, but other than that it was well seasoned, they used fresh jalapeños, the bacon was crisp, the cheese was melty and good, and the burger was cooked just right.
The fries were pretty good too – nicely salted, unlike Thalia from the night before, but with that same natural cut style.
My wife had a salmon sandwich that looked pretty nice as well, topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, and avocado.
