Category Archives: Restaurant Reviews

JG Melon

I came in here with my wife and parents on a Sunday morning at 11:40am. The place was already jam packed and it was non-stop even after we left.

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This place is a landmark NYC icon.  A cash-only wonder. A haven for burger aficionados. A pub crawler’s dream.

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Since this place consistently ranks among the top burger places in NYC, I had to try it. My verdict: I think the name has some hype to it, like a Peter Luger steak. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but not THAT good.

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My dad and I had bacon cheeseburgers. Each coming in at $11.50, these fuckers are a bit on the pricey side, especially since they don’t come with fries. I ordered medium, but it came back pretty much well done. I didn’t take a look at my dad’s. Sucks, but it was at least very tasty.

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Great bun – they stick to the potato bun which holds up under intense scrutiny. Bacon was crispy, and cheese was yellow and American, just how I like it.

The fries were little discs. Crisp on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside. I just prefer a tradition stick shape.

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My wife had a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon. Also a hefty price tag at $11+ without fries. It was, however, very good.

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My mom had an omlette – very good portion size, and it came with fries.

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For dessert, my wife and I split the sour cream apple walnut pie, which we noticed while reading over the wall-o-desserts and taking in all the watermelon themed art.

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Delicious. Not too sweet, nice and warm, and a really great way to end a meal on a cold day.

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Cool thing about this place too is that the kitchen is wide open to your viewing, and small/basic as hell:

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JG MELON
1291 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10021

188 Cuchifritos

Cuchifritos Frituras, aka 188 Bakery Cuchifritos, was recently featured on Anthony Bourdain’s newest CNN food show, and then written up on Grub Street as a result.

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Yanked directly from Wiki with no shame whatsoever:

“In New York City, vendors advertising cuchifritos are particularly notable because they tend to make use of colorful external lighting and big, flashy signs that quickly catch the eyes of passersby. These establishments have dotted Puerto Rican and Dominican areas of New York City for the past 50 years, particularly Hamilton Heights, Washington Heights, South Bronx, Brooklyn, and other primarily Puerto Rican and Dominican neighborhoods.”

After seeing that it was pretty much meat heaven, I decided that I needed to go and try this shit out ASAP. Check out the wall o’ Dominican cuisine:

something tells me they didn't brother to secure the license to use Porky Pig in their signage... unless he's public domain now
something tells me they didn’t brother to secure the license to use Porky Pig in their signage… unless he’s public domain now

Not knowing what any of it meant, we pretty much just followed the Grub Street outline but made sure to get some of the nasty bits as well. My wife and I were pretty much shot from walking around all day, two stops away up in the Bronx, at a Japanese exhibit at the New York Botanical Gardens. I was also wiped out because the day before I had run a half marathon and then proceeded to walk around for about 20 miles to and from Gotham West Market and for several hours at the NYC Wine & Food Festival.

Needless to say, we stopped in after the park and picked up a sack of food to go – we were anxious to get home, and it was hot, stuffy and crowded in that bustling little pig joint.

But holy shit, were we happy when we got home…

I’m getting right at the titties here – the chicharrones. We ordered both pork and chicken. There’s LOTS of meat on these babies, and the skin is perfectly fried to crisp deliciousness. The portions are rather big too for $6.

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We also grabbed some alcapurrias – sweet, tangy pouch stuffed with meat and spices. These were incredibly tasty. I almost forgot to take a pic of the inside before destroying it.

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Last, the cuchifritos nasty bits. Blood sausage, pig ears, tail, tongue, skin… you name it… plus plantains. My wife likes this kind of offal shit more than I do usually, but I DO get down on it sometimes, especially if it’s done right. Here, they offer a gravy to go with it, but we opted for no gravy – as if we are watching our diet when eating this stuff!  Haha!

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When you eat in the restaurant, which I did on a second trip, you can utilize their awesome hot sauce and spicy pickled veggies.

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The acids definitely help cut the fats down. Excellent food.

188 BAKERY CUCHIFRITOS (CUCHIFRITOS FRITURAS)
158 E. 188th St. #1
Bronx, NY 10468

Kiku (Japanese Pop-Up at Botanical Gardens)

This place is only open for a limited time, while the Japanese gardens exhibit is going on at the New York Botanical Garden (Bronx, not Brooklyn). My wife and I got to see a cool Japanese Taiko drum performance, walked around and looked at some nice Japanese plants and garden shit, and chowed down on some Japanese food.

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Score for having a nice cold beer to cool down with, and a specialty cocktail that my wife nabbed that involved prosecco and some sort of fruit liquor.

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We started with a basic eel and avocado roll. It was pretty good:

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Next was a plate of tempura veggies. These were really light and crispy. Very flavorful. Mushrooms, lotus, asparagus, and broccoli were among the bites here.

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My wife had a chirashi bowl that had a nice variety of really tasty sashimi.

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I had the ramen, of course. I was expecting more, so I was a little let down. It was a basic, thin-style chicken broth with very few pieces of chicken (though the chicken WAS good). Noodles were a bit over cooked, but when it comes to egg wavy noodles I don’t mind that so much. The broth was a little too salty.

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In all the meal was a bit over-priced, service was slow because they were jam-packed and under-staffed, and the seating at the bar was tight and uncomfortable, with no knee/leg room.

McHales

McHale’s was once known for its great burgers. It recently closed, switched locations (slightly) and re-opened. I’m not sure if the management is the same, or the chef, or any of that. The place is gorgeous inside, very classy and old school-ish. And yet they play UFC fight events in there, which is good for me since I am a fan.

On to the burger.

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At $13 for the McHale’s burger with a slice of american and fries, this baby is near perfect. The only downer was the sesame seed bun that was a bit crumbly and got thin along the bottom once the burger was stacked up. It came with lettuce, onion, tomato and pickle. Photo lighting credit goes to my chicken-sandwich eating friend, who sacrificed half an apartment rental commission to dine with yours truly. That’s a $600 chicken sandwich he had!

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Fries were great too – well seasoned and crispy.

MCHALES
251 W. 51st St.
New York, NY 10019

Ear Inn

My buddy, whose opinion I value when it comes to food, swears by the burger at Ear Inn, and also the atmosphere here. Here he is, giving you all the finger in front of my beer:

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It’s an old timey bar, been around for quite some time. It’s housed in a historic building on the far west end of Spring Street in Soho, and it used to sit on the Hudson, before the landfill was added upon the building of the twin towers.

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The burger here is solid, and hats off to my friend who pointed my appetite toward this joint. The star of the show is a nice 8oz fucker served with a salad and roasted potatoes. Nice – I commented that it tasted like a good steak as I was eating it. All it needs is a potato bun and it’s a winner. Take a look at the food porn below:

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EAR INN
326 Spring St.
New York, NY 10013

The Stand

My wife scored a sweet bottomless drinks brunch deal at this little place that had a nice menu. I was torn between the duck eggs benedict and the crab cake eggs benedict. I went with the crab cake one, and my wife went with the portobello burger. Both were delicious. The side salads were a little bit overdressed (more nudity needed), and there seemed to be a disgusting and annoying abundance of flies near our seats in the back (near kitchen door), but otherwise this place was nice. Nice spicy bloody marys, good pineapple mimosas, tasty greyhounds and friendly staff, like our waiter/bartender Graham.

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THE STAND
239 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10003

Genuine Roadside

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS FUCKING CLOSED! Such bullshit…

After hearing good things about this place, and the fact that it was listed in a top 10 or 15 places to get a burger under $10 list, I had to try it. And why not? I love Gotham West Market. If by some wacky turn of shame this place was bad, I could always hit The Cannibal or El Colmado.

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Check out the retro  condiment area:

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Here’s the full menu:

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I grabbed myself a smokehouse burger, which has jalapeño mayo, smoked gouda, bacon, and BBQ sauce on it. This was excellent, especially washed down with a nice shake. I ordered vanilla cardamom, but I was not really able to taste the cardamom.

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Shit was good, and the fries were nice and crisp. I’d put this above Burger Joint easily, and I paid the exact same price for both meals:

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But I wasn’t done there. For dessert I had a fucking classic burger: lettuce, tomato, special sauce, and cheddar. This was great too.

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It was even better with American, as was my photo, on another visit.

Now all that’s left to try is the double cheeseburger, and the buttermilk batter fried chicken sandwich. Fuck yeah.

UPDATE – So I went back and put down a double cheeseburger, the buttermilk fried chicken sandwich, an order of fried pickles and a spicy Mexican chocolate shake. Fucking delicious, everything. This time I was definitely able to taste the spice in the shake. The apple slaw on the juicy, crunchy chicken sandwich was the perfect topping to go with it. Add some Texas Pete hot sauce on that bitch and it is heaven. The double cheeseburger was incredible. Nice flame broiled flavor, nicely cooked, juicy, cheesy and delicious without being sloppy. I even enjoyed the fried pickles. Nice and crisp.

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And here’s the William:

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Breakfast here is pretty fucking fantastic too. I had a fried green tomato BLT with an egg on top. It was hands-down the best breakfast sandwich I’ve ever eaten:

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My wife had the chicken & waffles, which were perfectly executed, and came with a really kick-ass maple butter to slather on top.

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UPDATE 9/3/17

Went back in to try the fried green tomato, chicken sandwich and double burger again. Still excellent as usual. And I grabbed a nice show of the burger again.

GENUINE ROADSIDE
Gotham West Market
600 11th Ave.
New York, NY 10036

Ted’s Montana Grill

I’ve been eyeballing this place for a while since I work nearby. I’ve been here before for some happy hour staples like $5 nachos (big), $5 sliders (4 of them), and $4 beers (Yeungling). Today I was determined to try the burger out.

I started with an order of salt and pepper onion rings.

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These things were excellent – perfectly crispy, no grease, and a really nice horseradish dipping sauce that I ended up using for my fries as well.

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Speaking of which, the fries were nice and golden brown, natural skin-on slices, crispy, and well seasoned.

As for the burger, it was a good size. A little sunder-seasoned, and it had an odd flavor profile to it. At first I thought it was maybe aged, or perhaps they gave me bison instead of beef. But it wasn’t a gamey flavor. Not sure how to describe it other than different. not necessarily BAD; just unexpected, perhaps?

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Anyway – it was nice and patriotic with the flag toothpick. It came with bacon, cheddar, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and raw onion. Check the cut:

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The pic makes it look a little overdone, but it was a proper medium.

Another thing I like about tho splice is the dish of pickles they give at the bar. Half sours, bright green, thick slices, very delicious. I put these on my burger instead of the bread and butters that came on my plate.

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For dessert we did some ice cream and cookies. One cookie was chocolate chip, the other was chocolate chocolate chip. Nice and simple, but good.

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Lastly, here’s a shot of my friend’s vagina meal – grilled chicken with guac on a whole wheat bun. Looks good; just like a wet snatch.

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Anyhow – keep an eye out for a proper steakhouse review of this place, as I plan to come back soon and try their 14oz rib eye, along with a salad and dessert for just $29 (ask for the theater menu). Great fucking deal, if you ask me!

UPDATE – full-on steakhouse review below:

Ted’s Montana Grill overall score: 73

My wife and I came in for the “theater menu” deal: $29 (now $35) for three courses. Not a bad price. Check the verdict below.

Flavor: 6
My first bite of the beef rib eye was a nine, but it went downhill from there. The steak was nicely cooked and all, but the meat was a bit tough, a bit over-salted and wet. When I say wet, I mean there were small puddles of grease on the top of the steak. Also when I say tough, I mean the grain of the meat was tight and a little difficult to chew. While it did have a decent flavor, I had to drop the score because of these things. There was also a good deal of gristle on the cut, and a shitload of bleed-out once I got down on it. If it weren’t for that and the gristle I might have scored this a seven.

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Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 7
Here, they do not offer a porterhouse, and no cuts large enough for two. there is a filet, a NY strip, a rib eye, and a “steak frites” strip, which they say is a center cut strip. There is only one size of each offering, though to their credit they do offer each as a choice of either beef or bison. If it weren’t for that diversity of choice, I might have dropped this to a five or six. Speaking of choice, I think that’s what they’re rocking here in terms of quality.

Portion Size & Plating: 8
For the price, the portions are pretty good. If I had to guess I’d say my steak was 12-14oz. The soup was a good size, as was the salad and other items for the theater menu pricing. Very fair considering this joint is nestled in the heart of skyrocket rent central.

Price: 8
If you’re not a food snob or a steak expert, this place is perfect for casual dining. The prices are super fair. For six courses and two espressos the bill came to $86 with tax and tip included.

Bar: 9
The bar here is a blast. They have a great happy hour menu with good drink specials and snack food. You can’t people-watch so well into the street, but it is definitely a lively and fun place to go after work. I’d certainly come here for the happy hour often. In fact I’ve done so twice before; good nachos and sliders, excellent onion rings, great free pickle slices, and cheap draft beer. If you never come here for steak, that’d be fine, as long as you stop in once for the happy hour. Grab a pint and some sliders or nachos and you will be satisfied. In fact, that is my firm recommendation to anyone thinking of coming here: stick to the bar.

Specials and Other Meats: 7
There’s really just chicken and ribs, aside from the bison and beef. And there are no specials, as the menu is pretty much more like an elevated and refined Outback or Fridays type of deal.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 6
My salad was really basic: romaine, croutons and dressing. Not much else to say about it.

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The New England clam chowder was nice and thick, and quite flavorful. Almost kind of like a sauce… which got me thinking… New England Clam Chowder Spaghetti… Look out for a recipe one of these days…

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Desserts were pretty basic, and in retrospect I think the “adult shakes” are probably the most appealing thing in the dessert department.

I had a fudge brownie sundae (one of two options on the theater menu). The brownie was a little hard but the ice cream was good (because it is made by Haagen Dazs).

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My wife had the cheesecake. Pretty good actually, except for the berry sauce on it that had a sort of processed, “from a squeeze bottle” kind of flavor to it.

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Seafood Selection: 6
There’s a cedar plank salmon on the theater menu, which looked nice, but my wife went with the crab cakes. These were actually really nice. A little crisp texture on the outside, good quality lump crab meat, and the addition of guacamole made for a really refreshing bite. They also offer trout and a catch of the day, but no shellfish, raw items or anything like that.

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Service: 8
Service was fine. It did feel a little rushed, like our guy wanted to take our plates early with each course. Also the hot sauce was snatched from our table without asking if we were still using it. Bummer, because I was using it with my fries.

Ambiance: 8
I actually like the feel of this place. It’s warm and inviting, there is always a decent crowd of people having a good time, and the walls have bison heads on them. Love it.

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TED’S MONTANA GRILL
110 W. 51st St.
New York, NY 10020

TJ’s Hero Shop

This little place makes some really great sang-witches. One day my wife and I went over there and picked up five different selections and brought them over to my parents so we could all try.

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We tried the Louisiana Lightning (grilled cajun chicken with lettuce, tomato, onion and spicy stealth sauce), the Reuben (my favorite of them all), the Stealth (roast pork with lettuce tomato onion and stealth sauce), the Philly Cheesesteak, and the Big Steer (essentially a cheeseburger sandwich). All were excellent, but the Reuben really stole the show, with the Big Steer and Louisiana Lightning coming in close behind. Perhaps the Super Steak would have been the better choice than the regular Philly, as it comes on toasted garlic bread!

Louisiana Lightning:

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Philly Cheesesteak:

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Reuben:

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Big Steer:

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Stealth:

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TJ’S HERO SHOP
524 Mastic Rd.
Mastic Beach, NY 11951

Thai Son

This was our old standby for Vietnamese food in the old neighborhood. It’s not the best around, but on average it was better for the things we ordered every time. Certain other places had items that we loved that were not on the menu here (like the avocado shake), but this place was cheap and consistent, so we frequented it pretty regularly. Some of the highlights: summer rolls, spring rolls, pho, banh cuon, and that wacky shredded ice drink with all the sweet beans, carrots and jelly thingies in it.

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THAI SON
89 Baxter St.
New York, NY 10013