Here’s another category 3 joint for yo’ ass. Not a bad slice, but also not the top of the heap for this style. Cheese, sauce and crust all above average but a solid slice at a category 2 joint is still worth the upcharge.
Smash Burger
This fast casual joint is on 33rd just west of 5th Avenue, and it packs a wallop of flavor for a burger and fry combo of under $9.
I got the Classic Smash, the 5oz patty (I was on my way to lunch, so I didn’t want to fill up too much). For $1 more you can upgrade to a 7oz patty. Not bad!
That’s an egg bun you see there. Very supple, strong and soft at the same time. This is a quality burger. The only down was that they put a bit too much mustard and ketchup on the fucker, so it got a little messy. The Smash Sauce alone would have been fine.
The fries are incredible. They’re shoestring fuckers, but they are slightly thinner than your typical Mickey D’s girth. This makes for a nice crisp texture without going overboard like them shits at Spotted Pig (which are, essentially, Potato Stix).
SMASH BURGER
10 W 33rd St
New York, NY 10001
Pizza $1.00
I walked by this little joint on Hester while I was on a stroll through Chinatown. I hit it up. Apparently it is also known as “Hakki Akdeniz” or “KF Hester Pizza” according to some Google searching. Not bad, but there are better spots up by me for the cheap pizza hunger fix. I’d say that the sauce, cheese and crust were all middle of the road in terms of the dollar joint / category 3 standard (they do serve other pies as well).
PIZZA $1
84 Hester St
New York, NY 10002
Ruby’s
My buddy and I came in here after our first intended place for a burger ended up being closed for the day. It turns out that we were better off at this spot, as this ended up being one of the best burgers I’ve had in NYC to date.
I ordered the classic cheeseburger, which came in double patty format with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and Ruby’s sauce, which you can see oozing down the side in the above photo. Check the cut shot below:
The burgers were cooked to a perfect medium, and the bun was a strong yet soft potato style jammy. This shit was so good I almost ordered a second/came in my pants.
My buddy got the Bronte burger, which came on grilled/pressed bread with a sweet chili sauce. Very nice as well, but that burger above was the big winner.
Worth noting: the fries here are spectacular as well. They are shoestring style, but fried to a perfect crisp and served with an herb mayo on the side. Awesome. I’ll be back here again for sure.
RUBY’S
219 Mulberry St.
New York, NY 10012
Tux-Con NYC
My buddy and I recently came up with a concept to rally together NYC’s classiest and most well-dressed folks for a day of martini drinking and fancy-pants conversation. Tux-Con is meant to be NYC’s classy, warm-weather answer to Santa-Con. Think of it like this: Bruce Wayne is throwing a block party / bar crawl. We are going to start at the Campbell Apartment in Grand Central, hit a few other joints along the way, and then circle back up to end at The Oyster Bar in Grand Central for a classy meal to close out the loop. Most likely it will be on Saturday May 9th, but nothing is set yet. Men wear tuxes, black suits, fancy pinstriped attire, etc. Women wear gowns, dresses, etc. If you’re interested, check out the website for updates, or follow us on Facebook. This shit is going to be legit!
Keep an eye out for the invite cards too. We’ll be passing them around any chance we can get.
Obao
I’ll definitely be heading back to this part-Thai, part-Vietnamese joint VERY soon. My wife and I dropped in to sample some of their noodle soups. We were greeted by a gigantic bar.
But we first stated with an app of fried tofu.
These were awesome. If this is what being a loser vegetarian is like, then I’m in! They were coated with a nice and tangy lime-fish sauce, but still retained their great crisp coating.
The soups were all amazing. I had heard great things about the pho here, so I had to give that a try.
This baby was LOADED with beef brisket and eye round. You can add meatballs for an extra $2.
The pho was good, but the noodles were a bit busted up and not the best quality. When tasting it side-by-side to the bun bo hue, there was just no comparison.
This “Vietnamese ramen” was jammed up with generous portions of thick-cut, soft, juicy pork belly AND thin sliced beef brisket. The noodles were a soft, thick buckwheat style.
The tangy bun bo hue broth was contrasted with the milky-white, creamy laksa broth.
This, too, was PACKED with meat. This soup came with thick sliced pork belly and jumbo shrimp – both of which were cooked to perfection.
It’s tough for me to choose a favorite between the bun bo hue and the laksa. Regardless of which you choose, you will be a happy eater.
UPDATE 1/31/15
As promised, I returned to try some more shit. First, a pair of really nice apps.
Sambal spiced fried squid. These were really tasty. Perfectly cooked, although the breading was a little soggy due to the drizzle of fish sauce.
The other was pork rib wrapped around sugar cane. This was excellent. The meat was similar to a braised belly more than what I expect from rib meat. The sugar cane was not quite as sweet as I had hoped.
For the entrees we tried the Southeast Asian fried rice, which included shrimp, pineapple, tomato, onion, and Chinese sausage. I liked this a lot, though there were too many large pieces of tomato.
The other entree was Pad Kee Mow, or “drunken noodle.” When put up side-by-side to nearby Noodie’s version of this dish, I would shave to choose Noodies. That doesn’t mean this dish isn’t good, however. Quite the contrary – it was delicious. But Noodies has ground shrimp in the dish in addition to the chicken, so that just takes it up a notch over this one.
OBAO
647 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10036
The Best Pizza
This little category 2 and 3 joint is on 9th Avenue between 50th and 51st Streets in Hell’s Kitchen. They serve dollar regular slices, but they also offer toppings as well for an up-charge. The dollar slice was a little doughy for my liking, but the sauce and cheese were flavorful. If you like a more filling slice due to the dough being thicker, then this is a great buy for you.
THE BEST PIZZA
748 9th Ave
New York, NY 10019
Noodies
Noodies is a tiny Thai joint over in Hell’s Kitchen that serves up some excellent shit. My wife and I have only ever ordered takeout for delivery, but we’ve been meaning to get in there to see how the dining experience is.
My standard order is the “drunken noodle,” which consists of bread, flat noodles, ground shrimp, chicken, fried Thai basil, Chinese broccoli, tomatoes, onions and peppers. It’s just the right amount of heat in the spice department too. Really fucking delicious, and it always satisfies.
The Thai fried rice is a real treat. It has shrimp, bacon and egg in it. So good. The tomatoes add a burst of juiciness to the dish as you get down on it.
My wife has been brave enough to try several of the “vegetarian duck” dishes. Surprisingly, these are very good, hearty and satisfying. It really eats like meat. The “material” is some kind of tofu or seitan product, cooked or marinated in a sauce of some kind that adds a ton of flavor. The curries are good, as was this noodle dish that came with a robust vegetable broth on the side incase you want to make it a soup.
My wife and I finally got a chance to eat inside as well. The inside is TINY, but nicely decorated and eclectically.
Plates and bowls fastened to the wall:
Chandeliers made from glasses and strings of glass balls:
We went for a lunch deal where you get a salad and an appetizer free with your entree. We started with some Thai iced teas. Mine was regular (on the left, prior to stirring it up) and my wife’s was lychee:
The salad was simple and light. A little watery at the bottom of the bowl, but the dressing was yummy:
We both got the steamed dumplings app, which comes with two large and dense meat-filled dumplings that are sprinkled with some crispy fried garlic and shallots:
For my entree, I picked the ba mee duck noodles. This was a generous portion size of good quality crispy fried duck breast meat atop some nicely dressed noodles and greens, with a light but tasty broth on the side:
Next time I will try the roast pork and crab meat version. This was great shit.
My wife had the vegetarian duck again, which came with a fried egg on top of the little mound of rice. This is a VERY satisfying dish despite it being meatless:
NOODIES
830 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10019
Jackson Hole
Jackson Hole restaurants hold a special place in my heart. I met my wife for the first time at the east 80s location when she was working there as a waitress.
The original Jackson Hole location is a pretty cool little joint on the ground floor of a nice brownstone building on 64th Street between 3rd and Lex.
When you first come down the stairs you are greeted with the cashier, the kitchen, and a few bar stool type seats, like you might see at an old diner.
Around the corner is the dining room, which seems to have retained all the charm it had upon opening nearly 45 years ago.
Upon sitting down, you get a nice bowl of half sour pickles. Fucking damn good.
I ordered an American cheeseburger.
It stacks up nice with lettuce, tomato and pickle:
The burgers here are generous 7oz patties, cooked to a nice medium on the flat top griddle. The bread could use some improvement, but otherwise this was a great burger.
The fries were steak fries style, but they were cooked to a great crispy golden brown. I typically hate steak fries, but these were excellent.
Wash that delicious shit down with a coffee flavored milk shake, and you’re all set:
My wife ordered a breakfast plate of two eggs over easy with sausage and toast:
JACKSON HOLE
232 E. 64th St.
New York, NY 10065
BRGR
Last night I had the chance to drop in for a bite at BRGR with my buddy on his recommendation. This place holds up against the fast casual joints like Shake Shack, Burger Fi and Schnippers.
The decor makes it feel like you’re in someone’s 1980’s style finished basement, but updated for today’s interior design norms.
Good quality burgers, nicely cooked, great seasoning, quality buns and toppings. I had the “beautiful day” burger. American cheese, lettuce tomato pickle and grilled onions. Awesome. Next time I would get a second patty on top.
The fries here are on par with Mc Donald’s. Golden shoestring types, with a good crisp and well seasoned.
The black and white shake is ready to drink as soon as it comes to you. Most places serving shakes make them too think and you can’t get the shit through the straw, unless you can suck harder than Jenna Jameson.
For dessert, I had a hot dog. I was confused as fuck when they brought it out to me.
They split and grill the dog long ways, and then cut the dog in half and arrange it on a hamburger bun. Pretty cool. This one was topped with lettuce, tomato, American, mustard and pickles. Delicious, but the burger take the stack here.
BRGR
1026 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10065