My awesome wife and I rocked the shit out of this place with my awesome cousin and his equally awesome wife after said awesome cousin told me how awesome the burger was at this place. I must say that I agree with the call that this burger was as every bit as awesome as described. But we also had some other awesome shit as well.

What, you might ask? How about this awesome cucumber, coconut water and gin drink?

The awesome appetizers we took down consisted of three awesome plates of food.

First were these awesome deviled eggs. These little fucks were whipped up with black bean paste, soy sauce and black garlic, then topped with some sliced onion and a dot of sriracha sauce.

Next up was this awesome plate of roasted carrots. These were topped with puffed, caramelized squash seeds and served alongside a spicy hummus. These were fuck-yo-mamma-in-the-ass good. Light, yet hearty and filling.

Last of the starters was what  I consider to be the most awesome cheese in the entirety of the cheese industry. Burrata. Here it was served with some confit tomatoes and anchovies, with a little toast and olive oil as well. I’ve had better/softer burrata at other joints, but this was a really tasty item.

Now that the awesome foreplay scene is done, we can eagerly move on to the full blown penetration. I’m talking’ some deep, cervix-mashing penetration.

This “Fedora Burger” is… how can I put this… awesome. It was cooked to a perfect medium rare, topped with house made pickles (light, maybe a quarter sour, more like cucumbers than pickles), crispy potato shreds, red onions, smoked cheddar and BBQ mayo. The bun was strong yet soft and pliable – it stood up well to the burger, and it even had a little toast to it for good measure. Take a look at this little slut:

And like all awesome sluts, they’re still pink on the inside.

My awesome wife ordered the special for the day, which was a Cuban sandwich. This sandwich was a big ol’ bitch. Extremely buttery and toasty on the outside, and porky grilled cheese-like on the inside, this Cuban was intense.

However, as awesome as the Cuban was, that fucking whore burger shined brighter than the mother fucking North Star in comparison, as if leading all of our taste buds directly to Jesus God-damned Baby Christ in his hay-filled and barnyard-animal-surrounded manger.

The little fucking poor-ass drummer boy even tried to use a pair of half-crisped herbed french fries to wail away on that perfect burger-drum for the King of Kings on his birthday. The fries packed some good flavor but still needed a little crisp to make them worthy of the word awesome.

The place got awesomely packed. I snapped a pic of the bar area and some wall art, as well as the not-so-awesome bill, which was a little high but worth every penny.

So that’s 21 times that I used the word awesome. <= That’s 22.

BAR SARDINE
183 W. 10th St.
New York, NY 10014