Category Archives: Restaurant Reviews

American, Burgers, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Other Cuts, Restaurant Reviews, Upper West Side

PJ Clarkes

July 28, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Check this shit out: this isn’t the original flagship location or anything, but the restaurant is big and beautiful inside, and the burger was pretty much fantastic, with the exception of a bottom bun being too thin. My wife and I took my parents here for lunch when they came in to see the new apartment.

I started with an amazing bloody Mary called “Sister Mary Walks Funny” – it involves sri racha sauce. Spicy and perfectly mixed, with blue cheese olives to boot.

My burger was called “the Cadillac” – mostly I ordered it because it had American cheese and bacon on it. Look at the perfect cook job done on this bitch:

The fries were nice and crispy too.

My wife had some mussels with olive oil, garlic and tomato. An interesting change up from the typical white wine preparation. We dug it.

On the side we put down some bacon mac & cheese. Yup. Good shit. That’s wide fusilli, muthafucka!

I’m thoroughly impressed. I saw that on Saturday’s they offer a rib eye. I might have to stop back in for one of those.

On a second visit, I quickly noticed that they stock my favorite gin when I was reading over the cocktail menu: Fifth Pounds Gin. AWESOME! I ordered up a nice martini with that shit.

My wife ordered a “Tall English Redhead,” which was a very refreshing, summery type drink with mango iced tea.

Since it was Sunday, and the rib eye is only offered on Saturday, I went with the skirt steak frites. It was okay. I’ve had better, but it got the job done at a relatively cost-friendly price.

My wife got a breakfast plate of baked eggs and cheddar cheese with fingerling potatoes and sausage. Pretty good substitute since they were out of their bubble & squeak, but it was a bit greasy.

We also shared an order of creamed spinach, which was pretty good for a non-steakhouse. We finished the whole crock of it. Not too salty, not overly creamed, and you could still make out the distinct spinach flavor so you FEEL like you’re eating healthy, even though you aren’t.

PJ CLARKE’S
44 W. 63rd St.
New York, NY 10023

Carcass Club/Beast Feast, Japanese, Ramen, Restaurant Reviews, West Village

Takashi

July 18, 2014 Johnny Prime 3 Comments

To celebrate some good news, we decided to grab some meat at Takashi, a place which so craftily served us some delicious beef ramen just a week or two prior. For the run down on that, scroll down to the bottom of this review, or check out The Great Noodle Chase post.

This time around we wanted grilled beef the whole way. No broth. No noodles. Just the protein. And that’s kinda what Takashi is all the fuck about! They ONLY serve beef. No pork. No fucking chicken. BEEF. And not only that, but it’s all top notch kobe quality, and they ain’t afraid to serve up the nasty bits – the offal. Fuck… This place even has testicles on the menu, and they have no shame in putting the words BEEF BALLS on the fucking menu! Needless to say, this fucking place is made for guys like me.

First came some small dishes of Kim chi, bean sprouts and cabbage with soy ginger dressing. Yeah, I ate it…

Next was the raw sea urchin on top of a nice slice of kobe chuck flap with wasabi, shiso leaf and seaweed paper. This dish is called niku-uni. It was really clean and delicious. I could easily eat a dozen of these shits, no problem.

Then came the soft beef shank steamed buns with spicy mayo and scallions. These were tender and juicy, and fucking packed with bold flavor.

Then there was this awesomeness. Aged kobe prosciutto (whaaaaaat!?!!) with thinly sliced blue cheese and micro scallions, topped with a soy hazelnut honey mustard seed jam. It was earthy and robust. The characteristic aged flavors were highlighted with a nutty, funky-ass barnyard kick from the cheese. Yet it didn’t destroy the pallette. Props to the chef.

Then the grill heated up and the meats came out. Essentially the grill is just a heater coil element like what you have inside an electric oven. I think NYC has some shitty law that bans open flames in dining areas. So this is not technically the traditional open flame yakatori style you find in Japan, but it did fill the craving for grilled meat.

All of the meats were marinated in the house special Takashi sauce, and served with a small dish of sesame oil for dipping. They could have maybe brought out some lettuce leaves to wrap the meat, or a crunch element like fried crispy onion or shallot to sprinkle on top. The meat by itself was good, but I can see how maybe some people would want to mix up the textures a little bit.

Beef belly was the first plate of yum to come. Delicious. Not too chewy, not too fatty. It was cut about a quarter inch thick.

We ordered the chef’s selection of meats as well.

Here’s what came in that plate:

The front left is 1st stomach (cows have 4 stomachs, morons). It was chewy, and we were warned that this would be a lot of mouth work to get through. Why even serve it this way, I wonder? Better to braise it slow and low I would think.

On the front right we have beef heart. It cooked up like a very lean meat: good for a nice quick even sear.

The back right is 4th stomach. This was way more tender, thicker, juicier and flavorful than 1st stomach.

That’s liver on the back left. This was my least favorite. It was gamey, mealy, and very irony. I guess for my taste, liver is best served in pate form.

In the center are the sweetbreads. These glands were creamy and smooth. Very nice, with a great crisp.

The last meat we tried were the cheeks. This was the best of them all. It was sliced thin like bacon, and they crisped up nicely on the grill. Perfect.

Then we saw the table next to get the nose to tail beef platter.

Fucking bastards. We asked for it when we sat but they said we needed 4 people to order. Bullshit. We definitely could have finished it all, and I wouldn’t have minded paying 60pp for two instead of 30pp for four. Oh well. Maybe if there’s 4 of us next time…

Dessert was Madagascar vanilla soft serve ice cream, topped with soft chewy mochi balls, soy powder, sweet red beans, gold leaf and salted caramel sauce. Thankfully the sauce was served on the side. It was too bitter for our liking. The ice cream itself was great, and good with the sweet beans.

Pretty solid meal. It was a little pricey, but definitely enjoyable. I’d definitely go back to try out some more shit.

MIDNIGHT RAMEN

Real deal beef ramen DOES exist. I heard about some late night ramen joint in the west village called Takashi that serves up an all-beef broth ramen on Friday and Saturday nights only, from 12:00am to 2:00am. It was tough, but I ended up getting a seat for my wife and I to slurp up some of this delicious shit. We started with some beer and took in the surroundings:

As I mentioned, it’s a beef broth, but it contains crispy beef intestines, FUCKING BRAISED KOBE BEEF BELLY!!!, a soft boiled egg, and alkaline ramen noodles. The little blob of red you see in the middle is the spicy paste that my wife got with her bowl. I prefer no spicy paste, as it masks the beef flavor too much for my liking (though I DO love very spicy foods):

If you’re in town overnight on a weekend and are up for something bold and adventurous, give this bowl a try. The only problem is that you will need to try for a reservation on the Monday prior at 5pm. That’s when they start taking reservations. I emailed on Tuesday afternoon for my rez and they were already booked solid. They asked if I wanted to be on a waiting list in case someone cancels: I said yes. I found out on Friday at about 4:00pm that they had an opening for me and my wife at midnight. SWEET!

NOSE-TO-TAIL BEEF

I finally got to try the nose-to-tail cow feast here, thanks to the good people at Tabelog. We started with some really amazing apps though:

Kobe beef tartare:
This was delicious. Clean, earthy, cool, and lots of texture. Our awesome waiter Reese mixed in the quail egg for us after patiently waiting as we snapped photos of all the apps.

Soft boiled egg with beef prosciutto and caviar:
This was difficult to eat. The glass egg made it tough to allow for proper mixing of the components within, but the flavor was really nice. Egg was cooked perfectly.

Raw beef liver sashimi:
Much better than you might expect. Raw liver tastes WAY better than cooked liver. There is no iron taste and no mealy texture. It’s soft, creamy, and clean.

Crispy tripe salad:
Chewy, but for those who dig tripe, this is a win. Dip into some of the spicy sauce they serve it with, or the more traditional sesame oil + salt combo, and enjoy.

We also had the kobe beef prosciutto with blue cheese and micro greens that we had last time, along with the uni dish that we had last time as well. They were too good to pass up, and I wanted to make sure the Tabelog folks tasted them (you can see pics of those above).

I should also mention that we had a really great waitress as well, named Yuki. As the restaurant got more and more busy, she had to multi-task a bit, and Reese sort of relieved her at our table. But at one point we caught a glimpse of her serving up this monster set of ribs to the table next to us. Looked amazing! My wife’s Instagram feed (@thecakedealer) has a nice pic of it on the grill.

Now on to the main course – 16 cuts of cow.
Top row (from right to left):
tongue, cheek, shoulder, rib eye, between the ribs, tail.
Middle row (from right to left):
sweet breads, heart, liver, first stomach, second stomach.
Bottom row (from right to left):
short rib, skirt, belly, fourth stomach, large intestine.

If you’re an astute reader, you may be wondering what the fuck happened to third stomach. It’s only served as an app, so that will have to be a “next time” item. Anyway, Reese gave us a run down on each cut, instructing us on how long each piece should be cooked, and what to expect for each (soft, chewy, creamy, etc). Rather than labor on with the monotony of each and every cut’s flavor, texture, and rating, I’ll just give you a quick list of our favorites. Cheek, shoulder, rib eye, between the ribs, short rib, and belly. The rest were all good, but if I go back, I’ll probably focus more on the faves.

Here’s some additional meatporn for you:

TAKASHI
456 Hudson St.
New York, NY 10014

Flash Deals, Japanese, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Other Cuts, Restaurant Reviews, Tribeca

Megu

July 12, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

NOTE: This review is for the old location in Tribeca.

My bargain hunter wife got a crazy deal through Gilt City for the Omakase tasting menu at Megu, and on top of the amazing deal, she had some coupons to use on Gilt City, which made this meal a real steal (How does that feel? Feels like a deal.)

ONE
So this seven (and a half) course meal began with a really beautiful, delicate, and palette-opening salmon tartare, topped with caviar. Holy shit the rhyming is bizarre. Have I gone too far?

TWO
Next up was grilled asparagus on a stick, covered in a crispy semi-fried coating that was a little too thick. Nice, but a dipping sauce would have been pretty sick.

THREE
After that bowlshit came some shit in a bowl: sebring to be exact, atop an oriental salad of shredded veggies, assorted nuts, and herbs. The waiter drizzled some hot grape seed oil over the fish to give it a quick sear, and then deftly placed two goji berries on top, there and here. Mine looked like a ghost, or a KKK member; either way it was something to fear.

FOUR
Then we have a nice little trio of appetizers. Softshell crab with a house made tartar sauce. I usually hate soft shell crab, because usually the shell is not truly soft, because crabs are constantly molting at different rates across different parts of their body, because they are inconsiderate assholes (the crabby fucks that they are). This one, however, was nice. No choking on flakes of chitinous shell.

Along with this was some grilled veg, consisting of tomato, shishito pepper, and shitake mushroom.

Last was a chunk of miso black cod. Fucking delicious.

FIVE
After that came the mutherfucking sushi. A full spicy tuna roll (too much, in my opinion: three pieces would have been fine instead of six), along with three pieces of sushi: tuna, live octopus, and yellowtail. Everything was good except the octopus. it was too chewy; difficult to get down.

FIVE AND A HALF
Here comes that 0.5 course: liquid. First beer, and then miso soup. The soup was very fragrant and aromatic, but just average in terms of flavor. The good thing is that it was not thin or light, yet not overly salty or too robust.

SIX
The good shit. I had the Kobe steak, which was a sirloin cut. It was cooked perfectly to medium rare, and presented on a hot stone for the extra earthy sear. The waiter poured a little cognac across it for showmanship. Check that shit out below:

Here’s a pair of close up shots of the meat. It came with some crispy garlic chips. I was hoping for a nice thick core of onion too, but whatever. Who can complain with meat of this quality?

My wife had the grilled salmon, which came with some various mushrooms, squash, and veggie items. This was nicely cooked. Juicy but a good crust, flavorful but delicate, topped with chives.

SEVEN
Last was the dessert plate, which had green tea cake, vanilla ice cream with mango sorbet, chocolate truffles, mixed fruit compote with yuzu, and yuzu creme brulee. All were pretty good here, but I slurped at the leftover yuzu compote liquids like a baby goat at the teet. So, so sweet. Tingles from my head down to my feet. And now my rhymes are complete, because it’s getting late, and I’m fucking beat.

BUT WAIT!!! There’s more. I almost forgot the fucking decor. Take a look, you little foodie whores:

MEGU
355 W 16th St
New York, NY 10011

Midtown West, Press Reviews, Restaurant Reviews, Thai

Larb Ubol

July 12, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

NOTE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!

I was recently invited to a press dinner at Larb Ubol. What grabbed my attention about the written invite was that it spoke about authentic Isan Thai food. Different from the more well known Thai food scattered throughout the city, their Thai food focuses on northern flavors like coconut milk, and southern cooking techniques like fusion cooking. Their mission is to introduce people to traditional Northeastern Thai food, which is really spicy and fresh, and known for saltiness. This is not the sweet, Americanized crap you might find in the burbs.

The place was crowded by 7pm. This is a good sign, because it means people are interested in REAL Thai food. It’s wisely located in a very vibrant food area on 9th avenue between 36th and 37th. Pretty decor, casual fun atmosphere.

We started with some Thai iced tea. It was delicious and refreshing, topped with little flower made from the straw wrapper.

My wife and I shared the larb duck (ped larb). It was crispy, spicy, fresh, and savory. Really great crispy duck skin was sprinkled in with the ground duck meat. It was served with fresh herbs, like mint and cilantro, chili, onion, fish sauce, cabbage and celery.

That was pretty spicy and salty, so I cooled down with a Lao lager.

We also shared grilled squid (pla muk yang). This had a good char and was perfectly cooked, clean, and simple. Add some fresh cracked pepper on it, and it’s a star dish.

My wife ordered the red snapper for her entrée (larb pla kra pong). Unbelievable presentation. It was a gorgeous full fish, fried crispy with scallions, chili, onion and herbs. The skin was so crispy that it reminded us of baked chicken wing skin. So tasty.

I had the crispy pork with Thai eggplant (pad ped moo krob). The pork was belly meat, and was like thick chunks of spicy bacon candy. So fucking good. And this was a steer in the right direction, by the way. Our waitress pointed us to the jewels of this place when she realized what we were after as we ordered: crispy duck, crispy pork. Initially I was going to order duck stew with Chinese broccoli (broccolini) for my entrée and pork larb to start, but she pointed me to the larb duck and this pork dish instead. Well done. This was great, especially with the sticky rice that we ordered on the side.

For dessert we tried coconut ice cream and Thai shaved ice. Both were garnished with corn kernels and sweet gelatins. The shaved ice reminded us of the dessert drinks in Vietnamese cuisine, only more solid. However the strawberry bubblegum-esque sort of flavoring was a bit off to us, but it was still refreshing and contrasted nicely after all the salty and spicy food we just ate. The coconut ice cream was smooth and creamy, and had coconut shavings in it.

Also worth noting: the food portions are big here. I even noticed the noodle dishes at neighboring tables were big enough for two to share. And, most importantly, the food was so good that I found myself looking forward to eating the leftovers for lunch.

LARB UBOL
480 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10018

Carcass Club/Beast Feast, East Village, Fusion, Non-Steakhouse Steaks, Other, Restaurant Reviews

Momofuku Ssam Bar Large Format Rib Eye

June 29, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

After reading this Eater article, and adding to the comments, I decided I needed to go do this gigantic rib eye at Momofuku Ssam Bar. I went with my wife and two friends from Tabelog. We rocked it. Check out the pics and details below.

We started out with what we thought was a complimentary plate of sardines on toast with fermented chic peas and pickled hearts of palm. Why did we think it was complimentary, you ask? Because (1) we didn’t fucking order it, and (2) the fucking waiter told us that he brought it out to us because he wanted us to try his favorite item. I’m not gonna complain any more than dropping two F-bombs, but needless to say I was a little confused and pissed when I saw the bill and realized we were charged for it (after leaving and already paying, mind you). The app was great. Salty, juicy, earthy, “umami,” and all that good shit. But there was plenty of meat, potatoes and greens to go around with the rib eye special that we didn’t need an app. Now, the waiter was great and all, but a surprise charge like this, couched in “freebie” behavior, is kinda fucked up. Okay that’s three F-bombs now. Readers: make sure you check out the coolness of what Momofuku did in response to this review, which I updated at the very bottom. All is right and well.

I’ll leave the meat for last… aside from dessert, of course. The art of anticipation…

Next was the bowl of perfectly fried french fries. Delicious. They came with a nice, smokey bacon ketchup too. Crispy outside, mashed potatoes inside. Mmmmm.

Then a massive Caesar salad with brown butter croutons. Crisp and refreshing.

Okay now for the blowout. This is a 107oz hunk of GODmeat. Dry aged for 50 days, originally hailing from the Niman farm in California, this cut of rib contains the outer fat slabs as well as what you normally get with a traditional cut of rib eye + fat cap.

Here are some before shots of a slightly smaller cut (not ours):

It was cooked to a perfect medium rare, allowed to cool, and then sliced and plated on a thick cutting board. Some of the fat was the gristled kind, but much of it was the edible, meat bubblegum kind. Savory beef jelly. Awesome.

It was served with four sauces: the bacon ketchup mentioned earlier, a bernaise sauce, a red wine + shallot marmalade, and rendered steak fat + brown butter and herbs.

Also, four bundles of roasted garlic cloves, so soft that you could smear the garlic on your steak like creamy mashed potatoes or some shit.

Was all this enough? Nope. Of course not. I’m a former fat guy. So we followed up with some dessert.

First was a popcorn cake. Instead of sifting flower in the pre-baking process, they sifted popcorn. It was really unique, and served with a little side bowl of strawberry jam to spread across each forkfull. All I can say is that you should get it if you go here.

And finally we had the Thai tea pie. This cold dessert had the unique characteristic flavor of Thai tea with an added tangy tamarind sauce and some sort of chocolatey, tea-infused puffed rice kinda thing on top. Nice.

So that’s all. Great fucking meal, aside from the fact that I was charged for something that we didn’t order. On the slightly brighter side of things, however, it looks as though they forgot to charge us for our third beer. So we were still overcharged, but only by $9 instead of $15.

UPDATE!!! The management over at Ssam Bar saw this review and made good on their mishap. Good people as well as good food! An honest mistake that stemmed from a desire to provide top notch customer service. And 100% classy that they reached out to me. See below:

MOMOFUKU SSAM BAR
207 2nd Ave.
New York, NY 10003

Chinese, Fusion, Japanese, Long Island, Restaurant Reviews

Fancy Lee

June 13, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Fancy Lee is currently my top choice for local, nearby sushi to my home on Long Island. It’s in Babylon village in what looks like it used to be an old 50’s diner.

This place uses high quality ingredients and they are masters when it comes to plating and presentation. Favorite dishes? Zombie wrap, sushi pizza, white geisha roll, chirashi bowl, St. Patrick’s roll.

Skip the overpriced and overcrowded Kotobuki, and skip the faux-trendy Monsoon in town. Go here for a good meal.

FANCY LEE
101 W. Main St.
Babylon, NY 11702

Burgers, Long Island, Pub Food, Restaurant Reviews

TJ Finleys

June 13, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

TJ Finley’s is a bar in Bayshore, Long Island. It is actually my favorite bar on Long Island, by far. I’ve been coming here for quite some time now; I’m somewhat of a regular. They have a really amazing beer selection – both on tap and in bottles/cans – I’m talking hundreds to choose from, and many obscure and interesting. But not only that… This place has some of the best pub food I’ve ever had. My all-time favorite sandwich is here: a brisket sandwich with thick bacon, cheddar and BB! sauce. It’s fucking mint. The burgers are pretty amazing too, with my favorite being the breakfast burger.

A little over a year ago I joined their beer club, which essentially means you have to drink 100 different beers from various regions of the world: 50 US, 10 German, 15 Belgian, and 25 other. I currently have something like 11 left. Toward the end it gets harder to find stuff that you want to try to plug in the holes, but the great part is that I get to keep going back and eating the delicious food.

Do yourself a fucking solid and go here. Get a burger, or the beer & cheese fondue, or the smoked BBQ and ribs on Saturdays. You won’t be disappointed. They also throw some great parties for Oktoberfest and St. Pats, and they even have a pour your own beer thing going on at certain booth tables. Yup – you just pour yourself and they keep track of the ounces for you. pretty sweet.

the brisket sandwich - fucking amazing — the brisket sandwich – fucking amazing

UPDATE!!! On 11/28/14 I finally finished my beer club. I went out with a brisket sandwich, nachos, and a truffled french fry poutine as well. FUCK YEAH!!!

this is what happens when you drink near a pen and paper

TJ FINLEY’S
42 E. Main St.
Bay Shore, NY 11706

Italian, Mediterranean, Midtown West, Press Reviews, Restaurant Reviews, Spanish

Da Marcella Mediterranean Taverna

June 13, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

UPDATE: THIS PLACE IS NOW CLOSED!

I was recently invited to a press dinner at Da Marcella Mediterranean Taverna in midtown. This place has an Italian- and Spanish-inspired menu that showcases high quality ingredients and expert preparation. Owner Manuel Moreno has two Da Marcella restaurants. The original taverna is in Greenwich Village, is small, and has a very comforting, mom & pop neighborhood feel with very affordable prices ($10 pastas). It’s been open for two years. The goal since the midtown opening in November is to recreate that atmosphere, despite the challenges of the area being less of a neighborhood.

Manuel also endeavored to bring his Spanish heritage to light as well in the midtown location, as he is half Italian (mom’s side) and half Spanish (dad’s side).

The downtown menu is fully Italian, but the midtown menu shows off some tapas, paella and other Spanish staples. All recipes were handed down from his grandmother to his mother (the restaurants’ namesake), so you know you are getting something authentic when you eat at his restaurants.

Our host for the evening was Ernesto, who is manager but also the wine expert. The downtown wine menu is Italian, but the midtown wine list is thoroughly Mediterranean, with choices from Spain and Greece a well as Italy. There are 18 wines by the glass, nine of which change frequently.

As you can see from the tasting menu, he picked some really great wines to pair with each dish, all of which seemed to get increasingly better as the meal went on.

So we started with the marinated octopus with caperberries, and Scottish salmon tartare with avocado. Both were absolutely amazing. The octopus was hands down the most tender I have ever eaten. The only thing that would have made it better is if it were grilled to give it a little char. The tartare was perfectly balanced between acidic, savory and even sweet. The wine paired here was a nice dry but floral white from Riax Baixas in the north part of Spain. I enjoyed it, and I typically don’t really like whites all that much.

Next were the veal and pork mini-meatballs and a plate of burrata with prosciutto and truffle sauce. The truffle sauce was just the right amount of earthiness to bring out the other flavors and make them all pop. And the meatballs, well, they were soft and flavorful. It’s always tough to impress me with meatballs because I am spoiled by having good Italian mom and grandma meatballs, but these were excellent. The wine here was a really nice light Chainti. Well paired.

The tagliatelle pasta was perfect. Fresh made, al dente, properly sauced, and really delicious. The bolognese sauce is highly complex without being heavy, which in itself is a feat. It contains 18 ingredients, a few of which are meats. They really make grandma proud here, as this is clearly a signature item at the restaurant. With the pasta we had a Cabernet-Montepulciano wine, which was my favorite of the night. Robust and flavorful, but not heavy or too acidic.

Next we had the seafood and chicken paella, which contained chicken (of course), clams, mussels, calamari, string beans and peas. I haven’t had many paellas in my day, as I tend to like Asian rice dishes better for the crisp texture, but this was pretty damned good. I was amazed at how they got each separate ingredient to be perfectly cooked. For example, I imagine they have to throw in the calamari at a different time than the clams, and at a different time than the chicken, string beans, etc. Each component was just right, so that must be a real challenge. The wine for this and the beef course (next) was a rich Temperanillo. Full bodied, well aged; a no bullshit kind of wine. Probably quite costly too had we been paying customers.

Our last savory course was the wine-braised beef short rib with creamy polenta. This was awesome. The meat was a bit salty, but when you took a bite with the polenta (which was amazing on its own too) it really balanced it out nicely. I was a happy meat man when eating this. So tender, soft and flavorful.

For dessert we had a sampling of three items: pannacotta, tiramisu, and ricotta cheese cake. Owner Manuel is a baker by trade, so all desserts are made in house if not brought in from his personal Long Island City bakery called the Bakery of New York. The pannacotta was my favorite here. It was perfectly textured – creamy yet firm. It had herb notes of sage or tarragon as well. Very inventive. The tiramisu was very nice as well, but the consensus of others at the table was that the cheese cake was the big winner. Not too heavy, really nice flavors.

To sum it up; I really enjoyed the meal here, and I plan to go back soon, especially since it’s so close to my office. I’d also love to get down to the original location in the village to try out some of their very affordable and highly rated pastas (if I can get a table – the place is now generating big lines from what I understand, because there is a lot of demand).

American, Other, Restaurant Reviews, Westchester

Blue Hill at Stone Barns

June 10, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

Hmm… what can I say about this place… The food is off the charts good, fresh (obviously), well plated, well executed, clever, fun and inventive. The only negatives I can possibly conceive of are (1); it’s heavy on the vegetables, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but for (2); it is very expensive. When you pay $200 per person before drinks, tax and tip, you sort of expect some serious substance in addition to the superb veggies. The meats consisted of: pig heart pastrami (1 bite), lamb (one small, thin rib chop), a bite of ham (in the tortilla), a slice of speck (ham and cheese sandwich), and a few slices of pork. That’s pretty much it. One of the asparagus dishes (there were several, yet oddly my pee didn’t smell afterward) had shredded chicken wing as garnish, but that doesn’t count. And neither do the few items that contained fish product. The last negative criticism is (3) extreme pretense. You’ll see what I am talking about below. I get that these people are passionate about the farm to table concept, about sustainability, etc. And they are remarkable culinary artists. But fucking come on… Some of this stuff is like candid camera fodder. To sum up: this was a great once-in-a-lifetime experience. I absolutely 100% know that I will never go back, but I’m definitely glad I fought tooth and nail to get a rez here to celebrate our anniversary, even if just to experience this bizarre place.

Service? Some of the best I’ve ever experienced. Our waiter Christian was amazing and very informative. Waiters and table hawks swooped in and cleaned up after each of our roughly 24 courses. Use a spoon once, put it down for a minute, look at the ceiling, look back down and POOF: it’s gone, with a replacement on the way. Actually when we first sat down, they saw my wife scratch her wine glass to get a spot off and they immediately replaced the glass with a fresh one. Crazy! Too much? Perhaps. At some points we sort of felt awkward.

The ambiance of this place is really amazing. The farm is a beautiful and picturesque location. Nice grounds, with old but modern touches; rustic yet elegant. I could easily see it being some kind of rustic wedding venue. The dining area and centerpiece table is beautiful, and the kitchen is immaculately clean. The food is plated and presented in some of the most artful and beautiful ways I have ever seen.

To start we ordered some drinks. Mine was essentially a gin martini with pickled ramps instead of onion or olive. Ramps are so farm to table and local – way more hipster than onions or olives. My wife’s was a chamomile, gin, honey, and slightly sparkling lemon drink. Delicious. But lemon?!?? That shit doesn’t grow here in NY, as far as I know. So much for the whole LOCAL thing! I want my olive now…

Then the food started coming out. Hold onto your asses because this was a 4 hour meal…

1) Veggies on sticks. Some pickled, some raw, some lightly seasoned or spiced. Nice and refreshing. But, really? I started to wonder whether I’d fallen victim to some social experiment where you put diners into a fancy environment and serve them cat food and they absolutely love it.

2) Asparagus soup. This was really great. Hearty, savory. I could easily drain a bowl of this shit. Pay attention to how much fucking asparagus is served here. It is astounding.

3) Pig heart pastrami. This was good! Tasted just like pastrami, wasn’t too chewy. Just right. But give me more. Look at how much you’re charging me and ask if this is enough!

4) First of the Rhubarb. This was essentially just a pickled slice of rhubarb. Simple. “First of the rhubarb” registers at about 11 on a Pretentiousness Scale that goes from 1 to 10. I think it means the first time they were able to pick the rhubarb this season. You know… because rhubarb is WILDLY different in flavor that second time you pick it. Whatever.

5) Pea shoots, baby leeks, weeds, and tarragon pesto. At this point we were looking around for the hidden cameras that were placed to record our reaction to some weird practical joke. Even this was beyond “social experiment” weirdness. I’m a man with testicles. I have a dick, and it still gets hard. Now, this stuff was good (the sauce, anyway), but almost too odd for us. We were literally wiping the leaves of weeds across the sauce. Fun, I guess? But it took us a bit by surprise. We both laughed at this dish.

6) Egg yolk & potato tartlet, spring onion vichysoisse with toasted quinoa, and a fiddle head fern cracker. These were all lovely. Perfect little bites of flavor. I wish we had a whole tray of them.

7) Asparagus burgers. DING! Your asparagus score is now two. These were cute. Tasty too, and Christian came by with an asparagus stalk that had gone wild and grown too large. They are harvested at just the right time, before they start sprouting branches. BHASB <3 Asparagus 4-EVA!

8) Asparagus & pancetta. DING! Your asparagus score is now three! A nice asparagus spear on a stick, coated with sesame seeds. Good bacony flavor involved without any actual bacon on the skewer.

9) Ham and cheese sandwiches. These were made with speck and crisped cheese type crackers. Beautiful presentation, and one of the better bites of the meal. Again: give a man with hair on his chest a bit more that a single bite. I understand it is a multi-course feast, but feature the substantive dishes and downplay the “sides.” YEs – a veggie can be a side. But there were like 400 of them here to the handful of meat items. I get it. Veggies are awesome.

10) Pork liver pate & chocolate. This was a great bite as well. The chocolate surprisingly went well the liver.

11) Celtuce in a small soup with pine nuts. Christian gave us a crash course on what celtuce is. Basically similar to romaine but with a heart or root that you can cook up like the stem of broccoli. Delicious in every preparation they served.

12) Greenhouse greens and smoked creamy gouda cheese. A nice salad. Whoa, whoa, WHOA… GREENHOUSE greens?!?? Do you mean to tell me that these items would not otherwise grow in the local climate? Like the lemon above… but not the olive? Pfft…

13) Celtuse heart and spears, caviar and herring cream. This was one of the best courses. The caviar provided a natural salt element to this. Excellent use of vegetables… again.

14) Asparagus with almond saffron sauce, stinging nettle sauce, olive tapenade, rhubarb yogurt, grilled asparagus sauce and crispy chicken wings. DING! Your asparagus score is now four! It was served with asparagus tea, and the sauces were plated tableside. The best sauce here was the asparagus sauce. Asparagus. Asparagus, asparagus, asparagus.

15) Whole wheat brioche, escarole and spinach marmalade with fresh ricotta cheese that was strained tableside. This was a nice piece of toast. They had some cracked black pepper on the plate too, and that really made all the flavors pop.

16) Ham, robin fish, mint & peas, creme fraiche and fresh cut herbs on a buckwheat tortilla. We were excited for this one because we were taken back to the chefs table in the kitchen to have it. Awesome!

Umm.. can I please have some of this sausage in my meal? If not.. maybe some more asparagus?

17) Stone barns egg, and everything a chicken eats. This was a really fucking great egg dish. I tasted currants, herbs and seeds, and it was presented while cooking in a cast iron pan. Perfect.

18) Potato onion bread, grass fed butter, lard from their pigs, and carrot salt. Here we’re being prepped for meat courses, so I was getting psyched. FINALLY…

19) Stone barns Berkshire pork with “this mornings peas,” pistachios and chrysanthemum. I had no idea one could eat chrysanthemum. The leaves were very fresh and airy; a perfumed and clean flavor. It went very well with the smokey pig flavor. And this morning’s peas? I’ll never have yesterday’s peas ever again. I wonder though… are tomorrow’s peas any good? Good fucking lord with the pretense.

20) Grass fed lamb, shitake, and bok choy. This was a nice plate. I just wish the lamb was thicker. Perfectly cooked. It was like having a bite of prime rib on a stick.

21) Cheeses … sheep’s milk and cheddar, served with rye pretzels, chutney and cumin spiced pumpkin seeds. The cheese was explained, cut, plated and served tableside, by the amazing Christian, asparagus stalk warrior.

22) Next was a special anniversary cake plate. Pea and carrot cake. Very clever and tasty too! Get it? Have your peas and carrots… but for dessert.

23) Milk ice cream, strawberry sorbet, and clotted cream with dried strawberries, fresh green and red strawberries and hazelnuts. The plating was pretty cool here. These little hexagonal glass plates were all stack-able.

24) Bugs, Dirt, and Twigs. This one is for the kids! Very fun.

Caterpillar = marshmallow

Honey Bee = honey mousse on a graham cracker

Brown dirt clump = chocolate truffle

Green dirt clump = pistachio nut cake ball with a cream type filling

Bird’s egg = herbed cream in a candy shell

Sticks/Twigs = light airy cookie crisps

Even the espresso was nicely plated and presented.

After we paid the bill, we walked out the back to see our car waiting for us at the end of the walkway.

I only felt half-raped. Like some HUGE Blood or Crip bent me over the weight lighting bench in the prison yard but got interrupted after his dick tip penetrated my anal sphincter, thus depriving him of full penetration and allowing me to walk away with my dignity still somewhat intact. Overall a really good meal, though. I’ll never go back unless someone else is paying for it. Glad we went. Nice to see veggies in the forefront. Good attitude about food. Incredible use of asparagus. Maybe it was all one big episode of Chopped and that was the secret ingredient for every course?

Final asparagus score: four, not including multiple uses in the same course. Accordingly, I hereby call this restaurant by a new name: Blue Asparagus at Stone Barns.

BLUE HILL AT STONE BARNS
630 Bedford Rd.
Tarrytown, NY 10591

Italian, Midtown West, Pizza, Press Reviews, Restaurant Reviews

Capizzi Pizzeria Italiana

May 23, 2014 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

I recently became aware of Capizzi when I was invited for a couple of press dinners. It is situated right between my wife and my work places, so it was an easy spot to try out on a whim.

This cozy little joint is tucked away under the bridge on 9th Avenue at Port Authority.

When you walk in, you feel like you’re at someone’s house that has been temporarily transformed into a dining room. The old tube TV and the floor-standing, old timey radio have been moved aside to make room for guests. They even have and old school fridge and ice box along the cabinetry on one side of the room…

…and dried peppers hanging from the ceiling, just like at grandma’s house.

Which they crush into their own house crushed red pepper, served alongside dried oregano that is still on the stems. Just like home!

By 6pm on the Friday before Memorial Day, when people are itching to vacate the city, this place was already jumping WITH A LINE OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE STREET. Completely full. Wow!

The plates mirror this cozy home feeling, and it’s no wonder Capizzi was jammed up from such an early time… because everything was awesome. And it boasts an extensive Wine selection for all you wine drinking folks out there. In my two visits, I got to taste pretty much all their wines by the glass. The montepulciano, nero d’avola, lambrusco, chianti, and muscato were all great.

Our waiter Andre started us off with a couple of glasses of sangiovese on our first visit, which is one of my favorite varietals. The cool thing about the second visit was that he was there again, but this time just visiting on his off-day to say hello to friends, which I thought was pretty cool. He remembered us too! Great guy. On the second trip we had the pleasure of being served by Sami as our waitress, and Javier as bus boy. Service here is impeccable! Javier was fast, attentive, and very nice. Sami was a sweetheart, and made excellent suggestions for what to order. The people running Capizzi definitely know how to choose good quality staff.

We had a plate of soft, tasty burrata cheese that was garnished with basil, artichoke hearts, sliced grape tomatoes, roasted red peppers, and prosciutto – all lightly drizzled with olive oil. It was excellent. Simple and delicious.

Next came the antipasto misto: a plate of Italian meats, cheese, olives, mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, roasted red peppers, and eggplant. A nice way to double down on our starter plate. As you can see in the pic, Andre again served us from the main plate. Top notch service here!

The antipasto came with a basket of toasted, lightly cheesed flatbread. Naked pizza, if you will. Really airy and crispy. We took this home with us since we couldn’t finish it all, and wanted to save room for pizza.

On trip number two we tried two salads – HUGE portion sizes. Definitely can split these. These were both very simple dishes that showcased incredible, fresh ingredients. In the first case, cucumber, roasted red peppers, and really top quality olive oil.

The other salad was a simple, refreshing fennel and orange salad. Again massive portion size, and very tasty.

Then comes the pizza. We ordered a regular Margherita pie with some arugula and prosciutto on top. The pie was doughy yet crisped and lightly charred on the surfaces and crust. This kind of perfection can only be achieved with an authentic wood burning brick oven.

The sauce was deftly applied with just the right volume and ratio to the crust and cheese. It had a very slight sweetness to it, which was cut nicely by the peppery arugula and salty prosciutto. The cheese was fresh and melty, and on top there was some fresh grated parmesan cheese for that earthy kick. We devoured every bite of this masterpiece.

On a second visit we tried two pies. First the margherita pie – your basic cheese and sauce pizza. It was fucking PERFECT. Words escape me right now as I try to describe it. It was crisp, yet soft. It was savory, fresh, and juicy from point to crust. Honestly this is now my favorite pizza in New York, and I grew up a spoiled pizza brat.

The other pie we tried was on special for the night, and was topped with speck, prosciutto, arugula and mozzarella. This was really great. In fact, pretty much every pizza on the menu sounds enticing. My wife and I plan to move back into the city this summer, and this area is one of or top choices for location. Needless to say, Capizzi will be our go-to pizza joint, no question. Look at how amazing the pizza is…

We finished off the meal with my wife’s favorite classic dessert, tiramisu, on our first visit. It was good – nice and light, not too boozy; a great ending to a wonderful meal.

On the second visit, we took advice from our waitress Sami to try the Oreo truffle cannoli. She hit the nail on the head. It was just the right amount of sweet without being overpowering. It was flavorfully unique, but with enough tribute paid to the classic cannoli dessert not to offend any traditionalist sensibilities. And as always, the plating was beautiful to boot.

As a pizza aficionado, I definitely recommend this place to those looking for a great pie (no single slices here – for that you need to go to Saluggis). Do yourself a favor and go here ASAP. I think for sit-down, full-pie pizza, this is absolutely my new favorite place to go.

An interesting side note about this place:

“They got an old-fashion’ toilet… You know… The box, and, and, and, ah the chain-thing… We might be able to tape the gun behind it.”

– Tessio

CAPIZZI
547 9th Ave
New York, NY 10018

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MIDNIGHT RAMEN

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carnivore connoisseur