All posts by Johnny Prime

Balkanika

I nabbed a Groupon deal for a seven course tasting for two at this joint, with wine pairings. At $75, it was a steal.

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The meal opened with a lightly sweet Macedonian Muscat and a delicious tomato soup. The soup was smooth and velvety, and reminded me almost of a vodka sauce.

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Next was the Balkanika salad, which was mixed greens, beets, pine nuts and prosciutto, and served with a light red Macedonian wine. This was a hearty salad. The addition of the beets and prosciutto means that you could easily eat this dish as a main course in a larger portion.

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Next was a yogurt, feta, mint, garlic and dill dip/spread served with toasted whole wheat pita bread. This shit would be amazing on an everything bagel instead of cream cheese. It came with a shot of this absinthe/sambuca type of liquor, on the rocks.

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Next up was an eggplant and zucchini tapenade with pine nuts, onions, garlic and red peppers. I wasn’t too thrilled about this dish, but then again my wife and I are not bigs fans of eggplant to begin with. This course did not come with a wine pairing.

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My favorite course of the night was this spiced beef wrapped in grape leaf and cabbage. Each had its own flavor. In one, the meat was perfumed and spicy. In the other, it was mild and comforting. Both very good in their own way. This dish came with a red; Shiraz.

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The last savory course was chicken kebab with yogurt sauce and potatoes. The chicken was nice and tender on these, and the yogurt sauce was thicker than the typical runny white bullshit you get with a kebab. The potatoes were delicious as well. Soft, yet still firm enough to pick up with your form, and deeply flavorful. This came with a white Gavi wine from Italy.

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The dessert course was, of course, baklava. It was a little tough to break through with the tiny dessert forks, but the nutty flavor was excellent. It was a bit too sweet, however. Perhaps too much honey. It was served with a flute of Prosecco.

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The place even serves their mezes and sides by the pound in what looks like a deli counter. Nice!

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BALKANIKA
691 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10036

Wicked Willy’s

I snagged a groupon for this place that got me two burgers with fries, and two beers for $20. Not a bad snag. Unfortunately the day my buddy and I came here, there was some sort of fire going on underground in the sewers that made the entire block smell like burning diarrhea. Fucking obnoxious. Occasionally the smell would waft into the pirate-themed bar, which really sucked. You can see the scene below. Apparently the fire was raging, with that God-aweful stench, for about four days without response from the fire department. I guess no one thought to call, or no one realized that it was actually a fire as opposed to just a lingering bum smell.

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In any case, the burger I tried was called “Black Beard.” The meat was a blend of chorizo and beef, topped with lettuce, tomato, onion and cheddar cheese.

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It was seasoned well, and dressed with a garlic aioli that made the flavors pop. The only down side here was the bun. It was a little crumbly and dry.

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Fries were solid. Crispy, golden, and seasoned properly:

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Decent burger, fun bar, and I kinda liked the pirate theme. They play live music and even have peer pong tables set up, with a massive projector screen in the back room as well. Here’s a photo of some broad who was measuring dicks in the men’s bathroom:

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WICKED WILLY’S
149 Bleecker St.
New York, NY 10012

Percy’s

I strolled by this little category 3 dollar pizza joint while I was on my way to grab a burger with a friend. It turns out this was one of the best dollar slices I’ve tried to date. The crust was nice and crispy, and the cheese was of good quality. I only wish there was a bit more sauce on this baby. But I have to say: this place is a much better buy than some of the standard category 2 joints charging upwards of $2.50 for a slice.

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They do offer some topping slices for a dollar more.

PERCY’S
190 Bleecker St
New York, NY 10012

Marea

After seven months of living on top of this restaurant and pining for a bite of the cuisine within, my wife and I finally got a chance to check it out.

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I had heard insane things about this joint: “Best restaurant in the city;” “Best Italian food in the country,” and so on. The place has been awarded two Michelin stars, and with a four-course price fix menu at $99/pp, it was a no-brainer that we’d hit this place up.

First off, excellent fucking martini – one of the best in town actually, garnished with three perfectly soft Castelvetrano olives.

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And amazing table breads like fresh olive or black pepper focaccia:

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First was an amuse of smoked fish on a sesame cracker. This was a nice bite:

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My wife started with six oysters, one of each available variety; two from Massachusetts, two from Washington, one from Rhode Island, and one from Virginia. She preferred the two from Massachusetts. They were served with a balsamic mignonette that cut the fishy flavor of the west coast jammies, and the other sauce was a bright citrus motherfucker that I liked a lot.

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I had the grilled octopus with smoked potatoes. This was really nice and soft, with a great char flavor, though I HAVE had better grilled octopus around town.

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For the pasta dishes, we tried the red wine braised octopus fusilli with bone marrow. This was a little heavy, but full of flavor. The octopus wasn’t up to snuff in this dish, which was depressing, but the pasta itself was perfect.

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The winner of the pasta dishes was this gramigna (small, extra long, curly, elbow style pasta) with wild boar sausage and savoy cabbage. It was lighter than you might expect, perfectly dressed, perfectly seasoned, and absolutely fucking delicious – especially with the addition of some bread crumb crunchy shits on top. I could eat vats of this, and THIS ALONE is why I can get behind their two star Michelin rating. Amazing plate of pasta.

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For the entrees we had duck breast and steak. Let’s start with them duck titties.

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The duck was served with a crispy polenta, which was nice but lacked a little flavor. The greens were overly tart, as if overdone to cook the bitterness out of the broccoli rabe (which was a little overcooked anyhow). The duck itself was nicely cooked, but after digging into my steak for a bit I really couldn’t take the iron-rich, blood-riddled, gamey flavor of the duck for too long. It was good and everything, nice crispy skin, etc. I just couldn’t go there, because I was busy with this:

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It was cooked nicely to medium rare.

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This is a sirloin, 50-day dry-aged, served with braised romaine lettuce and a fucking wonderfully fatty bone marrow panzanella bread. I sometimes dislike the grain and texture of this cut, but I really didn’t have any other choice for beef. I’ve had better strip or sirloin preparations elsewhere, and I suspect this cut was not from the “NY-Strip” side of a proper porterhouse. Perhaps it was from the T-bone area, which is less desirable (hence the 50-day dry-aging, to give it a boost). In any case, I ate all of it, so there’s that.

Dessert was nice, but there was some unexpected tartness in my wife’s panna cotta (from the green apple, not the roasted pineapple sorbet). Despite the tartness, this was still the better of the two desserts that we sampled, in my opinion.

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I had the lemon tort, with which I totally expected the tartness. It had a cheesecake texture, and I loved how the ginger, citrus, and cinnamon gelato cut the lemon flavor.

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When the bill came, there was a small amuse of candies to try. A passion fruit marshmallow, a tart white chocolate sort of thingy (which I didn’t like), and a white grape granulated sugar gelatin (also very tart). Actually, I wasn’t really a fan of any of these, now that I think about it.

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In sum, we will definitely be coming back to try some more stuff, particularly the fish items, which, maybe, we should have gone with on this first visit. We’ll definitely sample more pasta dishes as well. Some of those things must really shine, and I suppose that’s why they received two Michelin stars. Otherwise I’m sort of baffled.

UPDATE: 6/25/16

My wife and I cashed in some OpenTable rewards points to the tune of $70, which we used toward dinner here. This time we stuck strictly to pasta and fish, with the exception of dessert.

First, we had this lovely crab meat paccheri pasta, which was the big winner for the night. The sauce was a rich butter and tomato concoction that I went wild for.

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This tagliolini with clams and calamari was nicely executed as well, with a texture and shape that was similar to ramen. Other than that it was a classic riff on a white clam sauce dish. Very nice.

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For the fish courses, we had halibut and monk fish, both roasted. The halibut was served on a bet of sautéed spinach and topped with shaved water chestnuts and an olive. The fish itself was just slightly overcooked, but I didn’t mind because the spinach and water chestnuts added that moisture back in.

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The monk fish was similar in texture to catfish. Nice and hearty, with a snap that almost resembles lobster meat. This was served with beans, trumpet mushrooms and hazelnuts. While I liked this a lot, my wife wasn’t a huge fan of the flavors. We both liked the halibut better in any case.

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For dessert we had blueberry doughnuts, or bombolini. These were absolutely delicious. They were stuffed with blueberry filling, and dusted with blueberry sugar. They came with lemon curd and honey for dipping. Only downside is that this order, which came with five “munchkin” or “doughnut hole” sized doughnuts, was a pricey $14.

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MAREA
240 Central Park S.
New York, NY 10019

Nelly Spillane’s

I snatched a Groupon for this joint. For about $20 we dug in on an app to share, two sandwiches/burgers, and a pitcher of beer. Pretty sweet deal, and the place has some good deals anyway for the daily specials. We started with a pitcher of Yuengling.

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Here’s the app we shared – some standard wings. Nothing really bad or good to say about them. They were average.

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The burger was ehh.

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I feel like the meat may have been overworked. When mixing that chopped meat, one has to be careful not to over mix that shit, otherwise the resulting patty will be uniform in texture and sometimes can be tough. It wouldn’t surprise me if this joint uses frozen patties.

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Fries were good and crisp, but not seasoned enough.

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My wife’s grilled chicken sliders were excellent. Though a bit dry, they were generous in portion size and adequately cheesed up. The downside here was the salad that came with her trio of sliders. It was just sub par, at best.

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To sum up: not bad if you’re in a bind and if you have that Groupon. If not, hop across to the west side of 33rd and hit Smashburger if you need that burger fix.

NELLY SPILLANE’S
18 E. 33rd St.
New York, NY 10016

99¢ Fresh Pizza (5th Ave b/w 32nd & 33rd)

Here’s another category 3 joint for yo’ ass. Not a bad slice, but also not the top of the heap for this style. Cheese, sauce and crust all above average but a solid slice at a category 2 joint is still worth the upcharge.

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Smash Burger

This fast casual joint is on 33rd just west of 5th Avenue, and it packs a wallop of flavor for a burger and fry combo of under $9.

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I got the Classic Smash, the 5oz patty (I was on my way to lunch, so I didn’t want to fill up too much). For $1 more you can upgrade to a 7oz patty. Not bad!

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That’s an egg bun you see there. Very supple, strong and soft at the same time. This is a quality burger. The only down was that they put a bit too much mustard and ketchup on the fucker, so it got a little messy. The Smash Sauce alone would have been fine.

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The fries are incredible. They’re shoestring fuckers, but they are slightly thinner than your typical Mickey D’s girth. This makes for a nice crisp texture without going overboard like them shits at Spotted Pig (which are, essentially, Potato Stix).

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SMASH BURGER
10 W 33rd St
New York, NY 10001

Pizza $1.00

I walked by this little joint on Hester while I was on a stroll through Chinatown. I hit it up. Apparently it is also known as “Hakki Akdeniz” or “KF Hester Pizza” according to some Google searching. Not bad, but there are better spots up by me for the cheap pizza hunger fix. I’d say that the sauce, cheese and crust were all middle of the road in terms of the dollar joint / category 3 standard (they do serve other pies as well).

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PIZZA $1
84 Hester St
New York, NY 10002

Ruby’s

My buddy and I came in here after our first intended place for a burger ended up being closed for the day. It turns out that we were better off at this spot, as this ended up being one of the best burgers I’ve had in NYC to date.

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I ordered the classic cheeseburger, which came in double patty format with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and Ruby’s sauce, which you can see oozing down the side in the above photo. Check the cut shot below:

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The burgers were cooked to a perfect medium, and the bun was a strong yet soft potato style jammy. This shit was so good I almost ordered a second/came in my pants.

My buddy got the Bronte burger, which came on grilled/pressed bread with a sweet chili sauce. Very nice as well, but that burger above was the big winner.

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Worth noting: the fries here are spectacular as well. They are shoestring style, but fried to a  perfect crisp and served with an herb mayo on the side. Awesome. I’ll be back here again for sure.

RUBY’S
219 Mulberry St.
New York, NY 10012

Tux-Con NYC

My buddy and I recently came up with a concept to rally together NYC’s classiest and most well-dressed folks for a day of martini drinking and fancy-pants conversation. Tux-Con is meant to be NYC’s classy, warm-weather answer to Santa-Con. Think of it like this: Bruce Wayne is throwing a block party / bar crawl. We are going to start at the Campbell Apartment in Grand Central, hit a few other joints along the way, and then circle back up to end at The Oyster Bar in Grand Central for a classy meal to close out the loop. Most likely it will be on Saturday May 9th, but nothing is set yet. Men wear tuxes, black suits, fancy pinstriped attire, etc. Women wear gowns, dresses, etc. If you’re interested, check out the website for updates, or follow us on Facebook. This shit is going to be legit!

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Keep an eye out for the invite cards too. We’ll be passing them around any chance we can get.

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