I became aware of this little joint while hunting for shave ice places after getting hooked on my trip to Hawaii.
Technically, this is “shaved cream,” whatever that means. If I had to guess, I’d say that the block of ice they are shaving is creamier and has different ingredients and flavorings within other than water, which is what you have with shave ice. You can see the milky-colored block of ice on the shaver machine here (it’s white, not clear):
The logo is fun: a cartoonish, cute yeti…
…and the menu is pretty interesting, with great combinations of flavors that you don’t always see represented in ice cream or Italian ice places.
I went with “original,” which was sweet milk cream (shaved), topped with Cap’n Crunch, blueberries and peanut butter sauce.
The flavors were awesome together. It tasted like someone froze my cereal and then put the ice into a high powered blending machine. One critique: I think they need to layer the sauce a bit. Toward the bottom, my “sweet milk ice” was a bit bland – similar to when the syrup doesn’t get down to the bottom of the shave ice cup to penetrate all the ice. Unlike shave ice, however, there aren’t bottles of syrup that get poured on top. The flavor is in the ice itself already, I suppose. But a string or two of that peanut butter sauce down in the middle or at the bottom would have helped tremendously.
My wife had green tea flavored ice with mochi and grass jelly. This is undoubtedly inspired by Asian desserts. The green tea ice was very natural tasting. Not sweet, but very “green tea”-ish. In other words, anyone would easily identify that flavor.
I will definitely be back here. It was a really interesting take on the shave ice concept, and it felt way healthier to eat than both ice cream and shave ice.
My wife and I went to this Chelsea location with a Groupon deal. While the food doesn’t really look pretty, we both agreed that it was good. We started with lemongrass crusted fried tofu. The texture was similar to a silken tofu style that you might find in a miso soup, but a bit more structured.
We also had a duck salad. I was hoping the duck would be more crispy. It felt at times that the bits of duck were chewy or overcooked, but the salad was a nice crisp cabbage base that was dressed with a sour fish sauce.
For me, the star of the meal was this clay pot pork belly stew with potato, tofu and egg. Sometimes these can get too salty, but this was just right. The broth was nice with rice as well.
Last, we tried a noodle dish that ended up being similar to banh cuon, even though it was called something completely different on the menu. It had grilled pork, bologna style ham, cucumbers, bean sprouts, cilantro and flat, wide noodles. It was dressed in fish sauce. The meats were excellent and the noodles were perfectly cooked:
We have turkey and grass-fed beef here. Both were a little tough and hard, but the turkey was the more flavorful product of the two. Beef is on the left, and turkey is on the right:
Some of the others I’ve sampled here and reviewed for the site are much better. Softer, more flavorful, easier to chew, etc. I’d pass on this one in the future.
Byblos is a Lebanese restaurant on Madison between 28th and 29th that’s named after the ancient seaside town in Lebanon. For about 30 years the restaurant was located further east, until a nearby fire damaged the building, forcing the business to shutter for two years and eventually relocate.
The old space was two floors, but the new space is a sprawling, roomy, single-floor expanse that feels so spacious it almost doesn’t fit within the NYC dining-scape. Not only can you stretch your arms out without hitting the next table, but every Saturday belly dancers can freely bound around the floor uninhibited by tables and servers as live music plays for guests.
That bar, by the way, is home to tons of Lebanese wines that are difficult to find in the city. In fact about 70% of the wine list is Lebanese. Pretty cool, especially since the two glasses I had were both excellent (a Pinot Grigio and a blended red). From what I understand, Lebanese wines are only $6 a glass during their happy hour special. Here’s a look at a glass of one of those wines, with some fresh pita bread:
The joint is owned by husband and wife Sabeh and Sonia Kachouh, who are both from Lebanon but met here in NYC. Sabeh, pictured below, is the chef, and Sonia runs the front of the house.
My wife and I were invited here for a press dinner, at which we were able to sample a bunch of mezes, an entree, and a pair of desserts. I recommend getting a large group together and trying out a bunch of mezes when you go here, because they really are the star of the show. See what I mean? Look at all of us foodie assholes scrambling to take photos of them:
This little platter here, with pepperoncini peppers, carrots, radish and pickled turnip, comes out before the start of the meal for fresh snacking:
Here’s what we had for the press meal (with some additions I will discuss below):
The hummus was really smooth, and seasoned just right. In the center was a mound of nicely cooked chic peas.
The baba ghannouj was creamy and delicate. I typically don’t like eggplant too much, but this was flavorful, with olive oil and paprika on top:
Muhammara might be my new favorite meze. This was made with red pepper, chic peas and walnuts. It was spicy, earthy and filling. It had a bit more of a granular, paste-like texture than the other dips, so it was substantial as a meal in itself:
Zataar pies are really unique. Herbs like thyme and sumac jump out and attack your palate with zest. Sesame and olive oil round it out for a perfectly balanced flat bread appetizer. Awesome.
The stuffed grape leaves here are better than other places where I’ve had them. Inside there are whole chic peas as well as rice and herbs. The leaves were very soft and tender, too, so these little bastards are easy to pop into your mouth over and over and over.
This fattoush salad had a bright zing to it as well. It was topped with grilled chicken and toasted pita bread, but it was expertly dressed with just the right amount of citrus and herb dressing:
The tabbouleh salad was a bit too heavy on the lemon for my liking. It was super zesty and bright. I realize that my preferences aren’t necessarily the same as others. I will say that all the ingredients within were fresh and flavorful, though.
As we ventured on from the veggie mezes, our first meat course was kibbe with laban. This is ground lamb meatballs mixed with pine nuts and cracked wheat in a warm, tangy yogurt sauce. The texture was soft and the flavor was rich, just like an Italian meatball, but the sauce came with the zesty brightness typically associated with Mediterranean yogurt sauces.
The mixed grill usually comes with three types of meat: lamb shish kebab, chicken shish taouk, and beef kafta kebab. We limited the selection to just the beef and lamb, however, so as not to waste any food (we were already pretty full going into this course). The kafta was really the star here. The minced beef was seasoned aggressively with spices like parsley and cumin, and it stayed juicy from the onion. The meat was super tender, too, and had a nice charred/grilled flavor on the outside.
The lamb still had a bit of chew to it. Perhaps it could have benefitted from some tenderizer, or maybe a higher heat for a shorter amount of time for a medium rare center. This dish came with sides of rice pilaf and peas. The rice was delicious and cooked just right, with little bits of pasta within. The peas were overcooked for my liking, but they had a good green flavor to them.
Dessert was definitely interesting here. So often the desserts I encounter at press dinners and other restaurants are the same old bullshit: tira misu, creme brûlée, chocolate lava cake, and on and on. Boring. But here, we sampled some stuff that is common to Lebanese cuisine.
For example, check out this homemade “cheese cake,” which is actually baked, semi-melty and semi-firm goat cheese with a bread crumb and ground pistachio crusted topping. The cheese had a similar texture and flavor to firm mozzarella, and the crust was reminiscent of the coating on a fried mozzarella stick, but sweeter due to the drizzled honey and rosewater that garnished the dish.
Last but not least was baklava. This famous sweet, near-east treat may be well-worn territory for most Middle Eastern or Mediterranean joints, but for me it is still a refreshing change of pace from the regular dessert grind. This, too, was topped with rose water and honey. It was a bit sweet for most at the table, but I really enjoyed it. I’ve had some over-the-top sweet baklava in my day, and this did not fall into that category for me. The filo dough was really nice too: light, papery and delicious. I think everything was made from scratch.
Last was a bit of Lebanese coffee. Similar to Turkish coffee, this is served with a thick sludge of coffee at the bottom and steeped with cardamom. It’s an acquired taste, for sure. I’m not sure I’m on board with it, but I did find the flavor interesting, not repulsive. HA!
That about does it for Byblos. If you’re up for something different, fresh and healthy, then you should definitely get over here for the mezes at the very least. And sample some of the nice, hard-to-find Lebanese wines as well.
Before I give this guest review, I need to take the piss out of myself and level-set the reader. I am not qualified to properly review a steak – at least not when compared to Johnny Prime himself. I’m still learning. But, I happen to have a keyboard and opinions (like every asshole on the internet), and I happen to live near some steakhouses Johnny has yet to review. As a steak-novice, my goal is to either: (a) provide enough information so people can decide whether they want to try BLT Steak for themselves, or (b) express such ignorance that both vegetarians and carnivores can finally agree on something – that I am a complete idiot.
Flavor: 5
I ordered BLT Steak’s 28-Day Dry Aged 20oz Prime Bone-In NY Strip. The top and edges of the steak were soft with little char. I like char. A pat of herb butter sat on top mostly un-melted.
Tasting little/no seasoning, I salted my meat and enjoyed one smallish fatty, crusty edge far more than the medium-rare center. Perhaps my palate does not fully appreciate aged beef?
For context, my favorite steak place was, and still is, Peter Luger (77), which I enjoy more than Old Homestead (81) and Ruth’s Chris (87). So right off the bat, I acknowledge my questionable credibility. Johnny and other reliable critics have often exclaimed that Peter Luger is good, not great. But as Woody Allen said, in a much creepier context, “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
Maybe I should have gotten the porterhouse, since Peter Luger’s porterhouse is my personal yardstick for steaks (“yardsteak?”). But BLT’s $98 porterhouse was not labeled as “for two” like it is at Luger’s. And as Johnny’s “Meat 102” taught me, the NY Strip is basically half of a porterhouse, so the comparison should be at least reasonable.
Here are BLT Steak’s offerings:
Prime Hanger Steak 10oz / 32
Filet Mignon 8oz / 42 12oz / 51
28-Day Dry Aged NY Strip 16oz / 52
28-Day Dry Aged Prime Bone-In NY Strip 20oz / 57
28-Day Dry Aged Prime Porterhouse 98
Bone In Rib Eye 20oz / 54
American Wagyu Ribeye 12 oz / 94
American Wagyu Top Cap 10 oz / 84
In retrospect, I should’ve gotten the rib eye, which I assume would have been fattier, juicier, and more to my liking. Next time I’ll refresh my education before I go out by re-reading Johnny’s “Meat 102.”
Portion Size & Plating: 7
My beloved Peter Luger steak is delivered sizzling, dripping with juices and butter. BLT’s was not. The BLT steak was served in a mini iron skillet which was kind of cool. They did give me a heated dinner plate, empty to receive my steak and sides in portions and positions as I saw fit. I liked that. Portions were certainly reasonable. I ate up all of my sides and brought some steak home (I enjoy cold leftover steak the next day – or as a midnight snack).
Price: 7
The prices were fair for a high-end steak place. I was a little disappointed that the prices were on par with Manhattan prices. If there is any benefit to dining outside of NYC, its a little price break. I thought perhaps the proprietors would pay less in rent than a Manhattan joint and therefore pass the savings on to me.
Bar: 7
I got adventurous with a house cocktail called, “Smoking Gun” (Woodford Reserve Bourbon, Monkey Shoulder Scotch, Sweet Vermouth, Orange Bitters). It was strong and tasty with a particularly nice aromatic of orange peel. Nice to sip slowly. One glass lasted most of my meal.
I didn’t hang out at the bar. But walking by it gave a clear “hotel bar” vibe on account of the annexed Ritz Carlton. To be fair, we were dining on a 6PM reservation, hardly the hottest time for any scene.
Specials and Other Meats: 8
BLT’s non-steak offerings included Braised Short Ribs, Rack of Lamb (2 double cut), Herb-Parmesan Crusted Veal Chop, and a Lemon-Rosemary Chicken. If I go back, I’ll probably try one of these before I return to the steak. Somebody at a neighboring table ordered the veal chop. At the risk of being caught, I checked out this strange man’s meat and it looked impressive.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
While I am a self-proclaimed novice at steaks, I can confidently speak about sides and desserts. Here’s what we had:
Popovers – BLT is known for its gruyere popovers for good reason. They are huge, airy, tasty and served as the dinner bread before every meal.
Fries – Crispy batter-style fries in a nice large portion. I can be easily disappointed in French fries, but these were top-notch.
Creamed spinach – Creamed spinach is a mandatory side anytime I am eating steak. BLT’s spinach was a great compliment to my meal and appropriately garlicky.
Espresso brownie bites – Like the popovers, the espresso brownie bites were complimentary. They were sweet, chewy, and a great ending to the meal – especially since I almost never order dessert. I personally find a large cup of frozen yogurt from down the street to be more enjoyable than restaurant desserts – at least for the price and portion.
Seafood Selection: 8
BLT offered sautéed Dover Sole, Sautéed Branzino, Grilled Spicy Miso Tuna , and Grilled Lobster. My wife had a “Lobster Cobb Salad,” and enjoyed it alongside some of my French fries and stolen sips of my soda. She said the salad was good. I tried to get her to tell me more, but she had no other words. I might buy her a thesaurus for Christmas.
Service: 6
I found the service to be just fine – appropriately polite and professional. My wife left annoyed for two service-related reasons. First, when we made the reservation, they asked if we were celebrating anything. We noted that we were, in fact, celebrating my birthday. Usually when we are asked this by a restaurant a little piece of cake, a drink, or an appetizer is provided compliments of the house. BLT didn’t do anything special. Then, as they wrapped up my leftover steak to go, they offered one of their popovers to go with it. I thanked them and enthusiastically accepted the kind offer, noting how much my wife loved them. When our to-go bag returned, there was no popover. I’m a capitalist and I’m not going make a complaint about failing to get free stuff. But they probably shouldn’t ask questions and set expectations if there is no follow-through.
Ambiance: 7
As I noted, we were dining on a 6PM reservation (we tend to fall asleep if we are out past 8PM on account of our early-rising, energy-draining little kids). So I’m not in much of a position to judge the ambiance. The restaurant had very large windows, and it was still very light out, so the restaurant was bright. It was a casual early-bird crowd and the place was not buzzing with patrons. I am willing to guess after dusk BLT Steak takes on a much busier but more intimate vibe.
In need of a fried chicken fix, and with no real deal fried chicken joints in my area, Fuku+ became the spot to hit on a Sunday evening.
My wife and I tried the “mini me” sandwich and some bites. All of the chicken is dark meat, so you’re getting good flavor and tenderness each time you sink your teeth in. One thing to note: the green sauce that comes with the bites is fucking incredible. It’s a jalapeno jelly of sorts. Spicy, sweet, thick and the heat stays with you a few minutes.
Each item was $6, so reasonably priced. I just feel that the mini me sandwich needs lettuce, tomato and mayo and it would be perfect. All that comes with it are two slices of pickle. But the breading and crisp are nice, and the potato bun rocks.
While we were there we ordered some fried chicken from Ma Peche to go; their famous habanero fried chicken. Kind of a let down, in my opinion. The batter was overcooked and slightly burned, and it lacked seasoning. The habanero kick was barely present at the aftertaste mark. Also one of my drumsticks was not fully cooked on the inside. Bummer. At $30 per order (pictured below are two orders), this is simply not fucking worth it. You’re better off going to Fuku+ for a few orders of the bites if you need your fried chicken fix.
On a second visit to Fuku+ with my friend Matt Bruck, we sampled a few other items. First was the “Juicy Lucy” burger, which is made with a cheese-stuffed Niman Ranch patty, topped with grilled onions and special sauce, and slapped between a nice, soft, supple-yet-strong potato bun.
This fucker was cooked to about medium well, despite the waitress warning us that it would be “cooked through,” presumably to well done (so that all the cheese inside adequately melts down). Some reviews online reported that this was a rubbery, overcooked burger. We didn’t have that experience, though I do sympathize. The all-natural burger, being cooked and formed a bit differently than a traditional patty, certainly has a different texture than you might expect. The flavors smack of teriyaki or some other Asian influence. It reminded me a bit of the burger I had in Maui at Bully’s (the roadside joint I will mention in my forthcoming Maui blog post).
Next we had the mission Chinese chicken fingers. These are nice and spicy, and it’s the only white meat chicken you will find here at Fuku+. These were breaded with a crispy crust that was steeped in chili and five spice. Really nice, and I highly recommend it.
Last was the pickled mussels. These were okay. They were a little bit unwieldy, being served in a jar and meant to be eaten on the provided toasty slices of French bread. They were definitely pungent and had a touch of spice from the pickling process.
FUKU+ / MA PESCHE
Chambers Hotel
15 W. 56th St.
New York, NY 10022
Big Daddy’s was running a special for National Cheeseburger Day (9/18): buy one get one free. My wife and I came to sample the wares. The place has a fun throw-back feel to it, with random memorabilia from the 80’s and beyond.
We started with a Cookie Monster shake, which was vanilla ice cream blended with Oreo cookies. Delicious. It was a little too thick at first, but after about five minutes it was suckable. Just right.
I had the Big Mac Daddy burger with American cheese. Essentially this has grilled onion, tomato, lettuce, pickle, and special sauce.
It was cooked nicely to medium, just as ordered. The patty was good, though maybe could use a bit more seasoning. Perhaps one too many slices of tomato. Good cheese coverage, but they should swap out the buns. They were a little stale and crumbly, and my wife’s bottom bun was rock solid – an ass should always have some jiggle, even just a little bit.
I ordered tots with mine, and my wife got fries with hers. Both were good, but I think we both liked the tots better. They were crispier and had a good crunch.
After our trip to Hawaii, my wife and I were in dire need of a shave ice fix. Luckily we got wind of a joint out in Babylon, near where we used to live. We were out there for the weekend anyway, since I was running in the inaugural Suffolk County Marathon. This was the perfect way to cut my nerves the day before the race. Check out the flavors:
Look at the size of this medium!
Overall it was a pretty legit experience. The ice seemed correct to me, but my wife thought that maybe they weren’t using distilled water (she said the ice was harder or chunkier than in Hawaii). The flavors were right on though. Very similar to what we tasted over there in the islands. The prices were the same too.
FIRE ISLAND SHAVE ICE
450 Fire Island Ave.
Babylon, NY 11702
My wife received a box of these fuckers as a gift from her cousin. These guys are pretty good. They have a lightly sweet and slightly spicy seasoning to them. They’re very airy and crisp, and really shine when you add some lime juice to them. Good product.
First I’d like to thank Jeff and Elizabeth for the gift card, which totally overcompensated me for the time I spent taking and editing photos of their son Jack. Tellers, formerly a bank, is a unique steakhouse in Islip, Long Island, well known for its quality and ambiance. This marks my second trip to the restaurant. I ate like a ravenous beast this time ’round, and I may fall into a deep food coma at any moment. Must type fast. See below. Third visit remarks in italics.
Flavor: 8
Tellers is good. I feel like it can be great, however. Although cooked properly in terms of doneness, I think the meat was slightly under seasoned, and the steak was not allowed to rest long enough before serving; the large pool of juices in the plate ruined some of the crisp textural components you like with a steak. For the size steak I had, I can see, however, that it would be difficult to ensure even flavoring throughout the thickness of the meat. The first time I went, I got the delmonico, which is the smaller, boneless ribeye that was included in the restaurant week prix fix (see price section below). The second time I went, I got the dry-aged 39oz bone-in ribeye; a much thicker cut (all bow to my manliness). It had some gristle, but the intra-muscular fat was good quality. I’d definitely eat here again, but this is certainly not the best steak in terms of flavor. I’ve seen average places with average quality cuts of beef do more with less. On a third trip I had the strip steak (16oz, boneless). It was still a bit under seasoned, but the crust was MUCH better, and there was pretty much NO bleed out. I ordered medium rare. it came back a bit over and slightly uneven, but still very tasty, so I didn’t mind so much.
NY Strip
Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 9
Tellers offers several different cuts and several versions of each cut. There are two sized filets, as well as a Wellington preparation, a bacon wrapped filet, and a bone-in filet. They offer a boneless delmonico ribeye, as well as 21 day dry-aged NY strips (boneless), ribeyes (bone-in) and porterhouses for one or two. Additionally, they have skirt steak and other meats like lamb. On special the second time I went was a Wagyu porterhouse for two. This covers the essential four cuts, and then offers some variation and choice. Nicely done, Tellers, although I got a good look at the porterhouse steak for one, and, to be honest, it looked more like a T-bone since the filet side was quite skimpy. CAREFUL! A carnivore connoisseur like me may have sent that shit back.
Portion Size & Plating: 9
Portion sizes ranged from average to large here. The filets are 8oz (average for smaller cuts), 14oz (larger than average for regular cuts), and 14oz for the bone-in (average, given the weight of the bone included). The delmonico is about 20oz, the strip is about 16oz, and the ribeye… wait for it… is fucking 39oz. Yeah that’s right… And I ate all of that mother fucker. Suck it, you peons.
Price: 8
The first time I went to Tellers they were offering a $50 three course prix fix dinner that included wine pairings with each course; AMAZING DEAL. That was during Long Islands’s restaurant week, but Tellers regularly offers a $45 three course prix fix every Sunday and for early dining during the week (no wine included). These are seriously great deals, since it includes the boneless delmonico (if you choose the steak item). On my second trip, I had a $200 gift card in my pocket thanks to Jeff and Elizabeth. Weighing the option to use it twice on two prix fix dinners versus going all out on the regular menu, I ultimately decided to go all out to get the full experience that Tellers has to offer (since last time I did a prix fix). Our bill came to $185 (scallop app, dozen oysters, creamed spinach, 39oz ribeye, seared tuna, trio of pies, martini, and espresso), so the gift card covered everything, and then we added an additional $15 or so on the table above the $200, for a grand total of $215. As you can see, regular menu prices are a bit steep as compared to the prix fix deals for the increase in quality and portion size (I’d say flavor is about the same between prix fix items and regular menu items). If/when I go back, I will likely stick to the prix fix, since I know now that it offers the most bang for the buck. Take advantage of this expert knowledge, assholes. HEED! Below is the bill for the third visit:
WIlliam Price
Bar: 9
Tellers has a very nice bar and lounge off of the main dining room which you can access from the rear parking lot to bypass the main entryway. The full menu is available here, which is great if you ever try to go and the dining room is all booked up. Teller’s has an extensive wine list, and they make a good martini to boot (though mine was a little warm when it was first served to me). It is a cool place to hang out even if you aren’t eating. The bar itself is nice, and there is a great selection of booze, especially after dinner-type swanky drinks (several types of armagnac, grappa, single malt scotches, madiera, ports, and brandy).
Specials and Other Meats: 8
Slim on alternative meats, Tellers offers just the lamb and roasted chicken. No shame in that; the red meat is the reason why you go here. As mentioned earlier, they offered a Wagyu porterhouse for two, which gets good marks in my book as far as specials are concerned. The Wagyu was the only item off menu offered as a special, however.
Apps, Sides & Desserts: 9
The duck fat french fries are delicious, and they came FREE as we awaited our appetizers. They’re served with a really nice homemade ketchup and mustard/mayo dipping sauce on the side. Perfectly seasoned and crispy. I ordered a bakers dozen oysters. For a moment I was torn between those and little necks, but I went with the oysters. In hindsight I should have gotten a half-dozen of each to try them all out, but I was extremely pleased with the oysters. Cold, clean, fresh, creamy, smooth, and well-shucked. They shucked the shit out of those things. My wife ordered a seared scallops & mushrooms appetizer; perfectly cooked and buttery sweet. Tellers also offers a “trainwreck” potato dish, which is essentially baked potatos scooped out into a cassarole dish and cooked with several types of fine cheeses, bacon and peppers. That will fill you right up. Speaking of filling, the creamed spinach is huge; it can easily feed four people. It is not super creamy (I don’t like it overly creamy), and it is your basic quality creamed spinach; it gets the job done. For dessert, we had a trio of pies in a jar, which was fun and interesting, though extremely HOT. They were very sweet as well, and could have benefitted from a scoop of vanilla ice cream alongside to cut both the heat and the sweet. Luckily I didn’t burn my mouth this time like I did at Dylan Prime though. On our first visit here, we ordered the calamari, which were nicely breaded and crispy, but lacked seasoning/salt. The fries were also free then as well, and before dessert they brought us a small plate of home made cookies (they didn’t do that on our second visit). On the third visit, we tried the peppered bacon, the crab cakes, the brussels sprouts, and the hazelnut cheesecake. The bacon was thick – almost an inch. It was cooked in a braised fashion, soft and tender, and covered with a horseradishy BBQ type sauce. The crab cakes were a bit on the small side for the price ($17) but they were juicy, lumpy, and crispy without being too bready – and served with a yummy hollandaise sauce. The brussels sprouts were nothing to write home about. I make much better sprouts at home. I like a little crisp to mine, and there was no crisp on these. Also not enough pancetta. The hazelnut cheesecake was rich and tasty, and had a tangy smear of nutty chocolate poo beside it. See pics below:
Seafood Selection: 9
There is a great selection of seafood at Tellers. Crispy skin salmon, swordfish steak, seared tuna, lobster, stuffed flounder with crab, fresh clams and oysters, sashimi, scallops, seafood towers, and shrimp tossed with assorted seafood in pasta. If you can’t take the meat, no need to start bitchin’ – order up some seafood. They do it well here. We really enjoyed the oysters and scallop appetizers, and my wife was happy with her seared tuna. FYI – my wife is not an asshole pussy (asspussy) because she ordered fish at a steakhouse. She recently had her Charles-De-Gallbladder removed and red meats are just not sitting well with her at the moment. On the third visit my wife had the millenium lobster (2lb). It was served with very nice, creamy, super-whipped mashed potatoes. The lobster was de-shelled already when it came to the table, and topped with a spicy butter sauce. See below for the nice presentation:
2lb millenium lobster
Service: 9
The service here is impeccable. First, you are greeted with a lovely potato foccacia bread. It is FANTASTIC; buttery, sweet and savory, almost like a corn bread. Our attentive waiter explained and described everything to us; from how things were prepared to what they were cooked with. And I mean everything, including the foccacia, fries, steaks, apetizers – these guys really take pride in what they do, they learn the menu, and they understand the culinary arts (especially meat). The waiters all wear a formal shirt and tie, but there are women as well as men in the waitstaff. Big points on service for Tellers. We never waited on water, the check came promptly, and everything was done at a good, comfortable pace. Tellers will also go out of their way to bring something speial to the table if they know it is your birthday or anniversary. On the third trip we noticed that they no longer bring free french fries and the fresh baked pan bread to the table. That kinda sucks, since those items were almost the best part of the meal. However, we did have a great waiter named Billy, who was helpful, knowledgeable, and genuine. Top notch.
Ambiance: 10
Tellers used to be an old bank, hence the name. The main dining room sports a triple high ceiling with beautiful architecture and long, tall, elegant windows that seem to have been preserved with as much historical accuracy as possible. Seating is also available in the bar/lounge area. The old bank vault, which still has the gate and huge vault door attached, now houses a wine cellar. Bins of wine also adorn the main lobby. Very classy. It is a beautiful restaurant. There is no music in the main dining room, but you can hear it slightly, coming from the bar area. Tables are ALMOST too close, but not uncomfortable. Tellers is not a huge restaurant so they have to do what they can. The corner booths are roomy and spacious, however. Bathrooms are large and clean, and have nice thick disposable paper towels. Once in a while during the meal you might feel a slight breeze gently carry through the dining room since it has a high ceiling and there are large doors near the entryway that let the wind in when both sets of doors are opened at the same time. Two large, fake trees sit in decorative cauldrons in the dining room, giving the room an outdoors feel, especially when you look out the windows to see the uplighting on the real trees outside on the well manicured grounds. Tellers is a very pleasing and unique place to eat.
Just as a post-script, I thought I was eating a lot until I saw the couple at a neighboring table order the trainwreck potato dish, creamed spinach, and the lobster mac & cheese – all this along with their free fries, foccacia bread, porterhouse for one and seared tuna (HOLY FUCKING STARCH BATMAN). I wonder if they finished it all. That is pretty badass if they did.
UPDATE 9/13/15
I came back here for a meal after running in the inaugural Suffolk County Marathon. I burned about 3400 calories in that, my first marathon, so I was ready to pack on some fat. This joint offers a $45 price fix Sunday meal that includes some great shit. For example, my massive slab bacon app as a starter:
Mine was perfect! My mom’s, hover, was very fatty and not as pleasant.
For the main course I had an 18oz delmonico (boneless) rib eye. Mine was cooked somewhere in the range of medium rare to medium (I ordered medium rare). My dad’s was unfortunately overcooked to medium well (he, too, ordered medium rare).
Dessert comes with the meal as well, but before that I should mention the duck fat french fries and burnt broccoli that we shared among the table:
Both had great crisp texture. The fries didn’t taste heavily of duck fat, but they were pretty much perfect french fries. The broccoli was super tasty. They are steamed and then flash fried for that crisp.
For dessert I needed something light. My body was not agreeing with this additional pounding I was putting it through after the race. I went with a trio of sorbets.
I was amazed to see a cigar menu on the dessert menu. Odd, considering that smoking is not allowed in the establishment. However the restaurant has some nice outdoor lounge seating. So on a nice night you can puff away out there:
As for drinks: I recommend the St. Germain and candied hibiscus martini. Really awesome, and you can eat the flower. Yes – this was my wife’s drink… Do I look like a fucking pussy to you?
