Category Archives: Burgers

Burgers, Flash Deals, Harlem, Upper West Side

Mel’s Burger Bar

June 13, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

This upper west side/Harlem joint serves up some really great fucking burgers.

I was browsing Groupon last week because they hit me with a whopping $10 off coupon. I picked up this deal that normally would have cost $25: two burgers and a 64oz growler of beer. I applied my Groupon and nabbed it for a mere $15. That’s amazing. Essentially that’s four pints of beer and two burgers for the price of one burger. Here’s how it shakes out.

The growler was nice. We ordered an Ithaca Flower Power, which packed a whopping 8% ABV on us without being disgustingly hoppy.

Ignoring my buddy’s tasty looking California burger, I ordered a Cadillac burger, which had American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and bacon on a potato bun. That’s pretty much the perfect burger. Take a look at this piece of art:

Gorgeous, and it tasted as good as it looked, cooked to a perfect medium, juicy, crispy patty, crunchy toppings…

I’ll definitely be back here again. I really enjoyed this place, and I think it’s probably in my top 10 burgers.

The fries were $4, separate and apart from the burger, but they were really nicely cooked and seasoned with salt and pepper. One order was enough to share between two people, in my opinion, especially with two beers each.

MEL’S BURGER BAR
2850 Broadway
New York, NY 10025

American, Burgers, Pub Food, Restaurant Reviews, West Village

The Happiest Hour

June 10, 2015 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

This place has been getting some traction with the foodies, burger lovers and bar-goers of NYC lately. The joint is somewhat set up like a tiki bar or a surf bar, only rather than a wooden shack, it has fancy wallpaper and some skylights. In the back there is a dining area, but the bar is the more fun place to drop your ass for a drink or a quick burger.

First let me start with the bar and drinks. The cocktails are a mix of exotic fruit flavors and old-fashioned, stiff, speakeasy drinks. Some of them are even served in tiki mugs, like this frozen slushee of the day, which was called Bad Medicine or Painkiller or something of that sort.

I’m not sure if “The Happiest Hour” even has a happy hour special, but they certainly fucking should with a name like that.

My wife and a friend of ours met there at 7:30, which is usually at the back end of, or just after, the typical happy hour times of NYC, but I didn’t see any signage or menu items listed for specials. The cheapest item to drink that contains alcohol is this 12oz can of Narragansett for $4.

Draft beers are on the small and expensive side, at $8 for what looks like a 10oz glass, maybe 12oz if filled to the absolute top. Fuck that bullshit. I stuck with the cans of Narragansett, because I’m not a wasteful asshole, and I actually happen to enjoy piss beer from time to time.

In any event, if you’re here after dark and are looking for an even greater selection of interesting and expensive cocktails (averaging $16 per drink), then go down into the basement to S&S (Slowly Shirley), which is owned and operated by the same crew, serves up some of the same bar snacks (some of which are slightly more expensive down there, too), but sports a massive cocktail list of some of the most awesome concoctions you will ever come across.

This place is Mad Men/Magic City meets The Brady Bunch in Hawaii. The menu is similarly styled as upstairs, but there’s a lot more to choose from, and some really incredible mixes of things you’d never expect to play nice together, like mezcal and beets, or scotch and cucumber.

Okay so now that all of that bullshit is out of the way, let’s get down to the meat of this review: the food.

I ordered The Happiest Burger, which consisted of two 4oz patties, American cheese, tomato, lettuce, pickles, confit onions and special sauce, all between a nice potato bun.

I must say that the hype is well-placed. The burger is excellent, and easily slides into my top ten in the city. I didn’t quite taste the onion or special sauce, but that was only because they were generous with the cheese, which I like. The bun was fantastic – nice and simple, soft and strong. The lettuce gave it a good crunch, and the tomato supplied some juice, but without anything dripping all over the plate or my shirt. It was cooked a little bit too much, as you can see from the cut below, but not unacceptable:

The fries were equally awesome. These were shoestring style, very crisp and nicely seasoned.

That bowl size is the $6 side order, as opposed to the $4 smaller size that you can get with your burger. Since there were three of us, we shared the one bowl instead of each getting our own fries. That freed up our bellies to try a couple of other items.

We tried the buffalo cucumbers, with watermelon, poppy seeds and mint, as well as the smoked fish dip.

The first thing I will say about these items is that they are incredibly overpriced and tiny. These small cups of approximately 3oz of food are $6 and $10 each, respectively, for the cucumber and fish dip. That’s fucking dumb. The cucumber thing was good; spicy and refreshing, though very watery. But the fish dip was a fail. First, there wasn’t much fish in it, and what was there tasted a bit too canned, even with the addition of fresh fennel and celery. For $10 I’d rather just get one of their other burgers, or go buy a cheese grater and take it to my erect cock. Fucking rip off.

My wife got the Grilled Cheese Bikini, which contained both fontina and American cheeses, and came with a side of tomato “soup.” I say “soup” in quotes because it was more like shitty marinara tomato “sauce,” served in the same small cup as the apps/snacks. That was a big bummer, but at least the grilled cheese was tasty as fuck. It was buttery, crunchy and had lots of gooey cheese. Nice execution. One thing I noticed was the flake salt that they used to finish it once it came off the grill. That added an awesome flavor pop and crunch to the bread.

I think that about covers it. So we have an interesting review here: Some really great highs (burger, grilled cheese, cocktails), but some incredibly deep lows (pricing, tomato soup, sides). Oddly enough, the burger is fairly priced at $12, considering it is far and away the best menu item that I tried. I would like to try the fried chicken sandwich next time if I go back. Anyway, now you can go there armed with the knowledge necessary to ensure a pleasant and satisfying dining experience. You’re fucking welcome.

THE HAPPIEST HOUR
121 W. 10th St.
New York, NY 10011

American, Burgers, Flash Deals, Harlem, Other, Restaurant Reviews

Minton’s Jazz Club

June 8, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

The story behind Minton’s jazz club is pretty great. The way it worked, back in the day, was this: Musicians would be given a free meal of soul food if they played. They were allowed to solo, as long as they could keep up with the house band. At the time, that house band was run by the great Thelonious Monk. His style was tough to keep up with for most musicians, but guys like Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis and Charlie Parker were able to hang with him when they came in to play and eat.

The joint closed in 1974, reopened in 2006, then closed again in 2010, and reopened again in late 2013. The neighborhood has undergone some dramatic changes in real estate values, demographic, businesses that operate there, etc. If I had to guess, I’d say that tho splice is not going to close again anytime soon. The music and food are just too good.

First, let’s get your appetites brewing with a little bit of battle jazz:

Now, I’ll tell you about the delicious food we ate. My wife picked up a Living Social deal for the amazing price of about $90, which included two apps, two entrees, a shared dessert, two cocktails and a jazz album to take home, on top of the great music that you get to watch and listen to while you’re there.

The first thing to come out where a pair of balls: hush puppies for an amuse. These were tasty: crunchy on the outside, pillowy on the inside.

I started with the fried green tomatoes. Two thick, tangy slices of tomato were fried to a golden crisp and topped with hot smoked arctic char and dandelion greens, which were deftly dressed with a creole dressing. I’ve only had fried green tomatoes a few times in my life, but he addition of smoked fish on top was really incredible. It added substance, flash and style to an otherwise ordinary dish. I loved it.

My wife had the deviled crab cake, which tasted exactly how it sounds. It was meaty and spiced, and came with some black eyed peas and celery leaves for texture and herbiness. A really nice southern take on a northeast classic.

The music roared as we mowed through our apps…

We sipped on a pair of delicious cocktails while enjoying the band. I had something called a prima, which consisted of sage infused rye, sorrel syrup, lemon juice, aromatic butters and agave honey. My wife had the satchmo, which was made with smoky is lay scotch, bourbon, bale syrup and bitters.

…And soon enough the entrees were served.

I ordered the venison burger, which was topped with farm cheese, blackberry onion jam and country ham, with a side of yucca fries (I think that’s what they were).

The burger was smoky from the country ham, and the melty cheese was thick and sharp, Everything was cut nicely by the sweet blackberry onion jam, which I think they can bottle and sell as a gourmet BBQ sauce. Really tasty. The venison wasn’t gamey or funky: It was tender and packed with robust flavor, and it was cooked to a perfect medium rare:

Those fries though… WOW. Nice and crispy with a crunchier texture than potato. They had a good snap to them, and they were perfectly fried and seasoned.

My wife had the buttermilk fried guinea hen. This was served with a bourbon peach tea glaze, black eyed peas and pickled collared stems for a bit more crunch and punch. The meat itself was perfectly cooked. It was nice and juicy, with tons of flavor coming at you from every angle. There was even a hint of maple syrup for that chicken and waffles type of flavor.

For dessert we had the lemon tart with blueberry sorbet and shaved fruit leather. This was nice and tangy, and the shell around the lemon curd was super light and airy. A light and refreshing way to end a great meal:

MINTON’S JAZZ CLUB
206 W. 118th St.
New York, NY 10026

American, Burgers, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

Heartland Brewery

June 7, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

I almost hate to say it, but hey – I’m not a fucking d-bag food snob. Heartland Brewery puts up a great classic cheeseburger! Excellent potato bun, good crunch from the lettuce, juiciness from the tomato, and good quality American cheese.

It was cooked just right at medium, too, with nice texture on the crisp of the patty. This burger hit the spot for me, despite already being kinda full from apps and a beer flight.

Fries were above average as well – good crunch and flavor, fried properly:

Oh and their chicken + bacon mac and cheese? Fuckin’ killer.

Lesson: Don’t knock a place just because it has the appearance of a Friday’s-esque chain restaurant and is located in the stank-ass armpit of Port Authority. If it tastes good, then that’s all that fucking matters.

HEARTLAND BREWERY
625 8th Ave.
New York, NY 10018

Burgers, Flash Deals, Midtown East, Rib Eye, Steakhouse Reviews

BV’s Grill

May 31, 2015 Johnny Prime 4 Comments

BV’s Grill overall score: 84

UPDATE: BV’S GRILL IS NOW CLOSED

I picked up a discounted Groupon for this place. I paid about $60 and got $100 off the bill. Check out the review:

Flavor: 8
The rib eye here was really nicely done. I was almost going to give it a nine here but I decided to go with eight because there was a bit too much scrap on the plate when I was finished. Nicely cooked, well rested, juicy, tender, flavorful and all that good shit. Check it out:

My wife ordered the BV Burger, so I had the rare opportunity to kill two birds with one stone here: burger and steak in the same review.

It was nicely cooked to medium, with a thick slice of lightly grilled white onion on top of the melty cheddar. The bun was soft yet strong, and the meat had a nice beefy flavor. It was definitely above average, and a very good deal for $17 with fries, in my opinion. Here’s the cut:

Choice of Cuts & Quality Available: 8
You’ve got a decent selection of all the main four cuts, plus some good quality beef going on here. There are some alternative cuts like flank or skirt as well.

Portion Size & Plating: 8
Portions are generous here. My steak was about 22oz, if I had to guess. Plating was pretty basic, not too fancy. The creamed spinach (pictured further below) was definitely enough for three.

Price: 9
My rib eye was still priced in the $40s, so I was happy about that, especially given the overall good quality of the meat. That, plus the Groupon deal, made this a great buy. Here’s our bill:

Bar: 9
This place has a really awesome, spacious bar, and an outdoor patio/dining space that is really nice in the warm weather. They also stock some good quality beer on tap, like Delerium, in the event that you’re not sipping on a martini.

Specials and Other Meats: 8
There were three specials being offered, but none of them were steak. First was a two-for-one shrimp cocktail app (eight pieces instead of four). Second was a fish item, I believe. And third was this incredibly refreshing chilled watermelon soup:

It had a hint of spice to it, along with another fruit flavor – maybe apricot? Delicious way to start the meal.

Apps, Sides & Desserts: 8
I started with this thick slice of bacon. It was nicely cooked – soft inside, crunchy edges, and lots of piggy-flavor, as it was also a smoked applewood variety.

The creamed spinach was the perfect texture. I thought it was the right balance of creamy/cheesy to leaf spinach. It might have needed just a touch more salt, though. Still great.

The french fries that came with my wife’s burger were good and crispy, but they were a bit dry. Nothing special about these babies. They’re just there to fill your gut:

We skipped dessert because we were stuffed, but there were some really enticing items, like chocolate pecan pie and soft serve ice cream (a personal favorite).

Seafood Selection: 9
There’s a ton of seafood on the menu. Lots in the apps/starters, and a fair amount of good quality cuts of fish in the entree section, as well as that special I mentioned up above. Solid showing.

Service: 9
Our waiter was great. He was attentive, fast, and really nice – same with the hosting staff. A great place to eat. The bread basket was pretty good too:

That butter in the middle is soft, whipped and light with great seasoning. I think it is likely made in-house. It’s the best butter I’ve had at a steak joint to date.

Ambiance: 8
I actually love the layout of the place, the decor, and the brightness from the massive windows and open-concept space. I think the only down-side is the location, midtown east. I bet it does really well during the workdays, but is dead on weekends. It’s a shame too because this would be a fantastic location to do some summertime day drinking.

Burgers, French, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

DB Bistro Moderne

May 30, 2015 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

To celebrate my birthday this year, my wife took me to DB to try their famed burger. Check out a video here, from the man himself, Daniel Boulud:

I know what you’re thinking… I know, I know… NO CHEESE! and SUPER THICK! As you guys have probably figured out from reading my other burger reviews, I am a simple man when it comes to burgers. Potato bun, a few basic crunch-element toppings, a not-so-thick patty, and good old fashioned American cheese. That being the case, you’d think I would absolutely despise this burger. I loved it, and I think the reason is because I think of it as something other than a burger. This is an entree, not a sandwich. It’s a huge meatball between two pieces of onion, parmesan and potato bread. I ate half with my hands, and the other half with a fork and knife. The side and shape are just unwieldy for a hand-held sandwich. And the lack of cheese was not really an issue, given how juicy, tender and full of flavor all the other elements were in this burger.

Anyway take a look at this fucker. It comes pre-sliced. Inside is foie gras and braised short rib.

If it weren’t so freaking tasty, I would be pissed at this burger, similar to the way I felt about the black label burger at Minetta Tavern that is typically served sans cheese.

The french fries were good. Not the best I’ve had. Could have been a bit m ore crisp, but they were seasoned correctly.

Let’s back up now. We started with some cocktails and table bread, which had an assortment of pretzel bread, olive bread and dinner rolls.

There was even an amuse, which was a parmesan crisp with goat cheese and chives.

The charcuterie plate was delicious. There were four different types of meats: head cheese, pate and two sausages, served with a trio of sherry mustard, dijon mustard, and whole grain. I think my favorite meat was the pate, and my favorite mustard was the sherry.

My wife had the duck confit. It was a nice portion size, and nicely cooked. I think the skin could have gone a bit more crispy, but overall the dish was excellent. It had a really deep spice that was reminiscent of five spice with an added zing of cumin.

For dessert we shared this lychee mousse with raspberries. It was really light and refreshing, and little bits of soft spongecake throughout. There was also some freeze-dried berries on top too that were really tart – they added a nice pop to this item.

Last was a petite fours place. I didn’t really care for these, but the little sugary jelly think on the end was super soft and tasted like apricot.

DB BISTRO MODERNE
City Club Hotel
55 W. 44th St.
New York, NY 10036

Burgers, Flash Deals, Pizza, Upper West Side

Big Nick’s

May 25, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

As usual, I nailed a sweet Groupon deal for this pizza … and burger … and everything else you can imagine joint… I think $11 got me $20 worth of food.

The menu here is like a diner; TONS of shit, and you wonder how they can sling it all in such a small kitchen.

We started with a pair of regular pizza slices (not the jumbo sized ones that they offer). It was thick with cheese, crispy and tasty. I’ve had better elsewhere, even at dollar joints, but this was satisfying.

The burger was a standard diner style burger (you order “deluxe” to get lettuce, tomato, pickle and fries) – nothing too fancy. It was juicy and cooked correctly, but a little lacking overall when compared to other burger places that have been popping up and serving some seriously good shit.

Next we tried a cheese dog, which, from the description, we were expecting to be massive. It was a little underwhelming when it came to the table.

It was tasty on it’s own, but we added lettuce and pickle to it, from my burger platter, to jump it up a little.

French fries absolutely need to be hit with a little salt when they come out of the frier, as does any fried item, really. This place must not practice that culinary canon. My fries needed salt badly. At least they were crispy, though. I hate this style of french fry to begin with, so it was a double whammy. But when they are done correctly they can be delicious. Herbs and parmesan cheese would help big time on this kind of steak fry, in my opinion.

On the whole, everything was really just barely average. Maybe if Big Nick decided to focus on one aspect of the menu, instead of being so expansive like a diner, they could excel. Good little neighborhood joint that’s fine as a quick go-to place, but a little overpriced in relation to the quality, especially if you’re not presenting a Groupon.

BIG NICK’S
70 W 71st St
New York, NY 10023

Burgers, Diner, Flash Deals, Harlem

Harlem Shake

May 25, 2015 Johnny Prime 2 Comments

Harlem Shake is a cool little diner/burger spot up on 125th & Lenox.

Also… It’s this:

Anyway, my wife and I grabbed a sweet deal for this place through Amazon Local. I think we paid about $8 or $10 for $20 worth of food. Taking the new subway fare hike into account, though, we nearly broke even with 4 x $2.75 to get there and back for two people. So we made it worth our trip by buying a fuckload of food. Here’s an aerial view of what we ordered:

That’s $39 worth of delicious.

First was the classic burger:

This was constructed with two thin patties, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and special sauce. It was perfect on the soft potato bun. Really good job. A much better tasting burger than their two thin patty competitor Steak & Shake, though I’m not sure I’d venture all the way up to Harlem for this when Steak & Shake is literally a stone’s throw down Broadway from us.

Next up, the classic fried chicken sandwich:

This had crunchy slaw on it, and pickles, but I think it was in desperate need of mayo. They have some next to the registers, so make sure you grab a packet or two if you order this. I liked it, but was sort of expecting a more juicy, thicker piece of chicken.

Let’s keep it rolling here with this amazing “jerk dog:”

This snappy, tasty dog was topped with pickled slaw, diced jalapeños, pork rinds and jerk sauce (not to be confused with semen, jizz, boy batter, man mayo, or cum). The pork rinds added a really interesting crunch element, and the hot dog bun was of the perfect pillowy potato variety.

Our last entrée item was the cherry pepper and bacon relish grilled cheese, sandwiched between two buttery and toasty slices of good old-fashioned white bread.

This was sweet, spicy, tangy crunchy and gooey all at once. Such a nice concoction. I’ll definitely be trying to make these at home soon.

The fries were nice. A natural cut style, nicely seasoned without going overboard, and with a decent crispy crunch to them. They could have been better, but I wasn’t complaining.

For our first drink we had a watermelon cooler, which was delicious. I was half expecting some sugary, diabetic coma-inducing watermelon “drank,” but this was a delicious, natural tasting watermelon juice. Not too sweet, not too pulpy, and extremely refreshing. Big fan of this:

Next, of course, was a vanilla shake. At nearly $6 I was expecting a let down, but this was a good size and it had great flavor. It was light and easily suckable – like a guy with a 2-inch pecker, and unlike some joints where they basically give you soft serve ice cream in a cup and expect you to blow an aneurism trying to suck the shit through a 3mm diameter straw. Fuck that. This was ready to go; no melt-wait time needed. Nicely executed:

So that’s that. Hope you enjoyed my thoughts on this place. If you live nearby, it is definitely worth a visit. If, however, like me, you will need to get on public transit to make it here, then make sure you try to score a coupon first… and go with the intention of delving into a ton of grub to make it worth your trip. Go for and gorge thyself!

HARLEM SHAKE
100 W 124th St
New York, NY 10027

American, Burgers, French, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

Kingside

May 15, 2015 Johnny Prime 1 Comment

My wife and I stopped into Kingside for a quick meal because it looked amazing inside, and we had heard good things about the burger.

So let me get right down to business here about the burger:

As you can see, there is no lettuce, but there was a crunch element from this vinegary pickled and minced veggies giardiniera relish. Check it out below (hint: it’s not the white or red one):

Not my go-to for a burger topping, but it at least satisfied the need for crunch. It had a hard/crusty bun, which is a big mark for the negative column, but it wasn’t unwieldy or painful. It was similar to The Breslin in texture, and for this particular burger, I think, it sorta worked. There wasn’t enough cheese. Another melty slice would have been ideal. But the soppressata was a nice touch on top. I wish the patty was flatter and wider, or just larger/wider in general, to make for better coverage of the bun. Essentially the bun was too big, and there was excess bread. It was cooked to a nice medium, which is how I ordered.

As for the other stuff we tried: we had a way overpriced octopus app. One tentacle for $19, it tasted like tunafish, and didn’t have that charred snap on the outer portions. Otherwise it had a great soft texture inside, and serving with the hearts of palm was unique.

My wife’s order of mussels and fries were good, in a cream based sauce, but not the best we’ve had. The mussels were, for the most part, meaty and large, which was nice.

The fries here are amazing. They’re super crispy and perfectly cooked, just a little over salted perhaps.

The bread at this joint is nice too. Warm, toasty sesame Italian bread sliced and plated beside some warm tomato sauce with garlic herbs and olive oil swimming within:

But overall this place is just too overpriced. My burger was $22 with fries, that octo app was $19, and my wife dropped about $6 for about 8-10oz glass of iced tea that was filled with ice. Total rip for that. To sum up: skip the apps, get extra bread, and be ready for a few pet peeves on an otherwise tasty burger.

KINGSIDE
Viceroy Hotel New York
124 W. 57th St.
New York, NY 10019

Burgers, Diner, Midtown West, Restaurant Reviews

Flame

May 11, 2015 Johnny Prime Leave a comment

My wife and I popped in here for a quick breakfast and we were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the food, and the cheapness ($4.65 for two eggs any style with toast and hash browns). My lumberjack meal (pictured) was only $7.45 for two eggs any style, ham, bacon or sausage, and pancakes. It is standard diner fare, but the poached eggs were perfect. I had a small shell bit right on top, but other than that it was perfect.

Pancakes were good too.

Looking forward to trying their burger next.

UPDATE MAY 2015

So I finally got back in to try the burger. It’s very basic, nothing too crazy to write about. The bun is toasted, which I hate, and I think the burger patty was probably frozen. But at $9.75 for the deluxe, which comes with battered fries, lettuce and tomato, its not a bad buy.