Ray’s Pizza

Is it just Rays? Original Ray’s? Famous Rays? Or Famous Original Ray’s? You be the judge, because it’s just as confusing now as it was when that episode of Seinfeld aired way back when.

This joint is on 7th Avenue between 53rd and 54th. There are tons of similarly named pizza places around the city, if you’re not aware.

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One thing IS for sure though: this place is a total rip off. I paid $8.71 for a plain slice ($3+) and a fresh mozzarella slice ($5).

The regular slice was pretty good – nice sauce, cheese and crust – but was it worth 3X the price of the dollar joint just one block over? No fuckin’ way.

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And what about the fresh mozzarella slice? An even bigger rip off. The crust was good enough – crispy and airy, with a good thickness – but the sauce was a bit sweet, and the up charge for this “gourmet slice” was way overboard at $5. Fuck that.

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I’m of the opinion that unless you are getting excellent, life-changing pizza, you should never be paying more than $5 or $6 for any two slices on the menu.

RAY’S PIZZA
831 7th Ave
New York, NY 10019

Seoul Garden

I recently received an email from Seoul Garden owner Patty Koo to come in for a press meal. My wife had been here about three times in the past, so I knew it has to be a decent joint if she had been there on more than one occasion (she has great taste in food).

Seoul Garden has been a family-run operation since 1998. It started with Patty’s mom’s recipes, which were taught to the chefs and taken from there. It’s done very well through the years, and serves as a K-town staple: a place where you can find home-style cooking basics, nothing too fancy or obnoxiously trendy – just really good, solid Korean food in a welcoming and friendly atmosphere.

The restaurant is located on the second floor, up and off the noisy, crowded and sometimes smelly (in the summer time anyway) ground floor space.

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While it may make for less visibility to passers-by, as a diner I actually like this feature of the restaurant, especially because the large windows on the second floor that overlook 32nd Street and the bustling K-town scene offer great natural light into the spacious and comfortable dining room. it makes you feel like you’re up in someone’s apartment too, which is cool.

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The place was actually already packed at 6:30 while we were in the middle of our meal. Nice! I guess there’s no shortage of customers, even on a Monday night, right after a shitty day back at the office.

As is the case at all Korean joints, the servers bring out a barrage of delicious banchan. These are usually an assortment of pickled items, like kimchi, for those who don’t know the cuisine. Seoul Garden has an especially tasty set of these, which I’d like to give a little bit more detail on here:

First, and my favorite, was thick glass noodles with crushed pepper, dressed in a light sesame oil of sorts:

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Then there was the sauteed peppers, onions and squid in a sweet and slightly spicy sauce. Really delicious.

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This potato and Asian pear “salad” was dressed in a slightly sweet mayonnaise and was really refreshing and light:

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The bean sprouts had a great texture; fresh snap to the stems and a good nutty crunch to the bean.

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Seoul Garden serves up a really good kimchi. It’s spicy and crisp, crunchy and zesty. Almost bubbly or effervescent.

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The only downer for me in this entire meal was this bitter green item: possibly dandelion  or mustard greens?

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It was a little too bitter to be eaten by itself, for me anyway, and a bit fibrous, but there were some sweet pickled radish slices that you could wrap around them to achieve a better balance.

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The servers also brought out some lettuce for wrapping up the BBQ meat, and spicy scallion shreds for topping.

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The sauce trays below contained: fermented soy bean (sweet and savory together – a really good dipping sauce for the meat), raw garlic (excellent when char grilled), and spicy soy sauce with scallions for dipping shit.

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Okay, so now that all of the small plates are set up and ready to go, let me switch gears to some of the amazing starters that we tried.

First was this crispy, yet pillow-soft seafood and scallion pancake.

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Inside were coarsely chopped scallions and bits of seafood, like squid tentacles. It was really good as a snack, or to dip into some of the sauces on the table. And it was BIG too: the size of a small pizza pie, and virtually grease-free. Most places serve up really greasy scallion pancakes, but this place was awesome.

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This next dish isn’t served at too many Korean joints on 32nd Street. I saw it once before at the place directly next door, and my stomach turned at the thought of it, but that was way back in my less adventurous food days. What is it? Raw blue claw crab that has been marinating in a soy-based sauce, spices and other delicious sweet and potent flavor pastes. The bodies stay pretty soft, so you essentially just squeeze the thing between your fingers and suck all the meat out, like toothpaste from a tube. The consistency is similar to the delicious, soft and edible part of beef fat – it’s like jelly. Only here it is cold and flavored differently. All of this sounds really nasty, I know, but I fucking loved it. I can’t believe I was squeamish about this dish in the past. I’m all in now! That said, both I and Patty realize that this dish is not for everyone. I think it’s one of those “either you love it, or hate it,” kind of things.

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The last pre-meat item is an incredible tofu and seafood soup. I know what you’re thinking: “Johnny, what the fuck, man? You just used the words ‘tofu’ and ‘awesome’ in the same fuckin’ sentence. Is everything okay? Did someone kidnap the real JP, or surgically remove his testes?”

Please allow me to explain this dish, which was far and away my favorite of the night. It comes to the table in a small, bubbling-hot cauldron that looks like a miniature witch’s stew.

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Beneath the surface is an ensemble of seafood consisting of mussels, squid, head-on large shrimp, teeny tiny baby shrimp, mushrooms and silken tofu.

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But wait… it gets better… There was a lone egg on the table when we were being served all the banchan. I was confused. But then it all became clear. The egg was for this soup. It gets cracked into the soup as it bubbles away, and you allow the hot soup to poach the egg to a perfect consistency. Watch:

Fucking… so… good… Spicy, deep and rich with seafood flavor, light yet hearty. Simply put, it is off the charts excellent. It’s called Soondofu, so you know what to order when you go in.

Okay so after that shit the beef was just not even that interesting. Don’t get me wrong – the meat was spectacular and really tasty, but I was blown away by that soup to the point where everything else just paled in comparison.

So they grilled for us at the table: marinated cross-cut, sliced beef ribs with enoki mushrooms, garlic and raw onion slices. That was the first up to bat:

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They snip up the meat pieces with scissors for you when they’re ready to take down. Excellent and attentive service, if I may say.

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The marinade was good and flavorful, sweet and savory, and the meat was really tender. It came off the bone bits very easily. As you can see below, the sugar element in the marinade gives off a great sticky char when exposed to the heat for long enough.

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Next was marinated (same flavor as above) boneless beef short rib, sliced thin, with mushroom, red bell pepper slices and fresh garlic.

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Look at how awesome that interior looks. A purpley medium rare!

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Essentially this was the same meat as above, but with a slightly different texture to it since it was sliced differently and not on the bone. They both went really nicely with the lettuce wraps, as well as all of the various toppings and sauces I discussed above.

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Standard operating procedure at these joints is a slice of orange as a post-meal cleanse. Clean that mouth out with some citrus, bitch!

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When it comes to the meat, this place understands: simple and delicious is the key. Heat + Meat = A Tasty Treat. But I have to say, that soup was so complex and delicious, that I consider it an absolute MUST TRY when you dine at Seoul Garden. Put this place on your short list. You won’t be disappointed if you eat what I ate.

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And don’t forget to grab a stick of two of gum on your way out. It beats those shitty little red and white breath mints!

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SEOUL GARDEN
34 W. 32nd St.
Second Floor
New York, NY 10001

Katsu-Hama

I strolled by this joint yesterday on my way to meet a friend for a drink. I took note of it, so I came back today for dinner with my wife.

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It’s a small but nicely set up joint on the second floor, with nice big windows overlooking the street (55th). We sat down right away at the bar even though it was crowded with people waiting for larger table settings.

I had the ma-yu tonkotsu ramen. It was pretty good, not too bitter from the black garlic, which often happens with ma-yu.

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The bamboo shoots were excellent, the pork was tender and flavorful, and the noodles were alkali straight and nicely cooked.

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The only down side to this bowl was the egg – it was hard boiled instead of soft boiled, so the yolk was a little powdery.

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My wife had a nice fried chicken dish set (nan ban), which came with miso soup, rice, and a small salad. The meat was great. I would slap it on a roll with some mayo and use the shredded cabbage it came with as a crunch element. Delicious!

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KATSU-HAMA
11 E. 47th St.
New York, NY 10017

Roll & Go

Roll & Go opened up in our old neighborhood at the former location of a Subway sandwich shop.

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This is by far one of the largest dollar pizza joints around.

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Not only is the space large, but so is the menu. I guess you can say this is a restaurant rather than a dollar pizza joint… I mean, look at the selections here. Even rotisserie chicken!

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You might think that with all of these choices they wouldn’t have good pizza, since they’re spread too thin into other cuisines, but you’d be wrong. Let me tell you, this was one of the best slices for a buck that I’ve ever eaten.

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It was crispy, had some good cheese and sauce on top, and the crust was thicker than cardboard, had some air in it for softness, but still came with that necessary crunch. Total victory here.

ROLL & GO
362 Broadway
New York, NY 10013

Ramen Takumi

This little joint just popped up at Washington Square Park, and my wife and I stopped in for a quick bite as we were walking to an art gallery.

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With the absence of a tonkotsu broth on the menu, my next go-to is typically miso. I generally find shoyu and ship to be too thin, and rely too heavily on salt/soy sauce for flavoring as opposed to the actual meat. While that may be the case with miso as well (relying on the paste), at least I get a somewhat thicker and milkier broth.

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So I got the standard miso, but with an added egg. I enjoyed it. All of the components were nicely done. The noodles were cooked well, the broth was flavorful, and the pork slices were tender and delicious. The egg was perfectly cooked, and surprisingly the corn was helpful to add a sweet pop into the otherwise very savory bowl.

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My wife got one of the tsukemen dishes. Incredibly huge portion size. Had to be a half pound of noodles in that bowl, which were bursting with delicious egg flavor. Each noodle tasted like you were having soft boiled egg with it somehow. Amazing. And the dipping broth was jam-packed with chunks of delicious pork meat. The broth was otherwise chicken flavored and very hearty and “chickeny.”

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RAMEN TAKUMI
1 University Pl
New York, NY 10003

Fig & Olive

Mark this down as one of the best Groupon deals ever. For about $70 my wife and I had a four course meal with cocktails included.

Speaking of cocktails… what an impressive menu of unique items! We tried the fig and walnut julep (left), which was bourbon, elderflower liqueur, port, muddled black mission figs, mint, lime and garnished with shaved walnuts. This was the better of the two drinks, in my opinion. It wasn’t too sweet, as you might expect, and the taste was very refreshing and herbed. The other was the Fig & Olive (right): Organic cucumber vodka, olive oil, egg white, simple syrup, celery, lime juice and blood orange puree. Very nice and light.

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This plate of rosemary bread was served with three different olive oils. All three had a slight bitter flavor to them, as I imagine they are very fresh and very virgin. I’m not sure I’m into that. I like a standard olive oil that isn’t too bitter on the tongue; a slutty olive oil who knows her way around my mouth, if you will… not a pristine, clueless, unfucked virgin.

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First was a trio of crostini, which was shared. The first was burrata (with tomato, pesto and balsamic), the second was prosciutto and ricotta (with fig and walnut), and the third was crab (with heirloom tomato and zucchini puree). All three were excellent. Tough to pick a favorite here. Quality ingredients, fresh flavors, simple, masterful.

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The apps were also prepared beautifully, with great flavors to boot. We had the octopus and scallop dishes. The octopus dish was gorgeous. Tentacles were braised and sliced paper thin, arranged on the plate like carpaccio, dressed with olive oil, roasted peppers and olives, and then garnished with micro greens and roasted baby potatoes. The ‘pus was very tender and clean, with no chew. I don’t know about you, but I like a clean ‘pus.

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The scallop appetizer came with three good-sized pieces that were seared nicely and cooked to the proper consistency and temperature. The sauce was an orange-spiced carrot and olive oil tapenade, and there were some orange segments, micro greens and a citrus dressing to top it off. These were really dynamic, with all sorts of delicious flavors popping around when you chewed.

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Had we been charged the regular menu price instead of the Groupon price, we would already be at $74 without even getting to the entrees, which, together, would have cost $64 by themselves, and then a $12 dessert, too. See what I’m saying? We had $150 worth of food for about $70. Amazing fucking deal!

My entree was the veal Milanese, which was pounded thin, breaded, and fried to a golden crisp and then topped with shredded Parmesan cheese. On the side was a pesto fettuccine, roasted garlic broccolini, and a tomato-mascarpone sauce that was reminiscent of a vodka sauce, but much better. This was a great dish. I typically don’t go for items like this, but the sides of pasta and broccolini (which is one of my favorite veggies, along with escarole and artichoke) sold me on choosing this. I’m glad I got it. Everything was perfect.

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My wife had the Maine lobster bouillabaisse, which also had grilled scallop, mussels and Chilean sea bass in it as well. The sauce/broth base was lobster bisque, which was poured in tableside. On top was some shaved fennel and parsley, and on the side was a saffron garlic aioli and an olive oil cracker. This was a nice seafood dish. I thought it was a bit small in terms of portion size, but it was tasty and we didn’t leave hungry.

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For dessert we shared the Fig & Olive tasting, which came with four bite-sized portions of different desserts. First was a crunchy praline. This was like an elevated nutty, chocolatey candy bar. Very nice!

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Next was a chocolate pot de creme. Very rich, yet light and airy due to the froth on top. A solid tasting, and those little dots on top were some crunchy bits of puffed chocolate or something. Nice touch of texture there.

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Next was my favorite of the four, the dessert crostino. It had pistachios, sour cherries, a mascarpone-style spread, and some micro greens on a cookie. Freaking delicious. So many differetn flavors and textures going on. Complex yet simple!

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Last was panna cotta, which was reminiscent of a strawberry cheesecake with graham cracker cumble. It was very tart, but also very tasty, with a hint of basil.

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Great meal. If they’re still offering the Groupon deal you should definitely get down here and try the food. The ambiance is a bit over the top trendy and “scene-y,” but you’re ultimately there for the food and drinks, right?

FIG & OLIVE
420 W. 13th St.
New York, NY 10014

Lawless Jerky

Attorney Matt Tolnick created Lawless Jerky and got the fuck out of the lawyering game. God bless him, and good for him. I’m trying to do the same (though not with jerky, of course), so I know how real that struggle can be.

Anyway this stuff is essentially craft beef jerky, all natural, no preservatives, no nitrates/nitrites, and with real flavors that are different from all the rest of the slimy, waxy, over-processed shit you’re seeing out there today at gas stations and in supermarket check-out aisles around the country. You can actually pronounce the list of ingredients, like onion powder and paprika. No chemical garbage. And all the jerky is made from 100% grass-fed beef, so it’s lean, and only 80-85 calories per serving, depending on the flavor. That’s great for weight-conscious guys like me, and it comes in re-sealable ziplock style packages, so you can lock in the freshness if you don’t devour the entire bag at once.

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How did I hear about this shit? A buddy of mine told me about this stuff and dropped a coupon code on me so I could try a bunch at a good price. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that this code was reserved for military personnel only, shipping only to legit military addresses. I felt like a big, fat dick when the good people at Lawless Jerky contacted me, asking for my bona fides to make sure I was legit military. I’m not. And I’m glad to see that these guys are actually checking up on things to make sure the sanctity of that coupon code only applies to our brave soldiers who sacrifice every day for our pathetic asses. Good on you, Lawless Jerky! And I apologize for the mix-up.

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The gents quickly and painlessly refunded me, but also sent along a sampling of jerky to me anyway, free of charge. I was shocked! I was totally ready and willing to pay full price, as I had heard great things and the flavor descriptions are very enticing.

What are these flavors, you ask?

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Japanese Curry; Pho; Sweet Sriracha; Aloha Teriyaki; Honey Chipotle; and Mango Habanero. HOLY FUCK! How can you try one and not any of the others?!?? I will eat pho flavored shit if served to me on a nice plate… maybe… But seriously, just reading these flavors caused a hair-raising, salivary gland-squeezing, teeth watering (yes… teeth watering) crave to sweep over my entire gustatory system. I needed these things in my gut at once.

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So what’s my verdict? My holding, my decision, if you will? AWESOME! Get these fucking things ASAP. Every single flavor has something special about it that you will want to have again and again. But here’s a breakdown of the specifics of each flavor, incase you’re a big throbbing pussy and you don’t want to go in for the full sampler pack:

Japanese Curry: This definitely tasted exactly like you would expect. I was actually hoping for MORE of that characteristic curry flavor, but I was happy to see the beef shine through as the star of the show. Actually, I think this flavor would be really great on something like chicken or turkey jerky as well. I wonder if the guys at Lawless are thinking about getting into the non-beef stuff as well?

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Pho: All of the right ingredients for pho are represented here in the jerky: cilantro, lime, anise, and other aromatics that you get with a delicious bowl of Vietnamese beef soup. This was a very tasty bag, but not my favorite of the six (which I had expected it to be). The great thing about this flavor is that you can really taste that meaty flavor. Like pho, this jerky is all about the meat itself as opposed to the coating of flavor.

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Sweet Sriracha: Candidate for best flavor of the group, this was the right balance of sweet and spicy together, with a generous coating of flavoring on each piece of beef in the bag. And with the meteoric rise in popularity of Sriracha sauce, this baby should catch on as a big money maker for Lawless. Well played!

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Aloha Teriyaki: This was nice because it had sesame seeds sprinkled on the beef. The flavoring was more of a glaze, as you might expect, as opposed to the dry seasonings on the Sweet Sriracha and Japanese Curry flavors. But it wasn’t wet like some Asian flavored jerky is. This is a comfortable and easy to eat jerky. A definite pleaser for all fans of jerky.

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Honey Chipotle: This was my least favorite of the bunch, but that doesn’t mean it was bad by any means. I really enjoyed it. I think, for me, this simply was the most “safe” or “common” flavor of the group, aside from maybe the Aloha Teriyaki flavor. As such, I wasn’t as excited about it, but I still kept reaching in for more. This, like Aloha Teriyaki, is a crowd pleaser as well. Easily scarfed down at parties or while making a long cross country drive.

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Mango Habanero: This was very close to being my favorite. It’s neck and neck with the Sweet Sriracha for me, but my wife gave this one her choice for favorite. It, too, has the right balance of sweet and spicy. Really nice. There’s something magical about this flavor combination. I even love it at Buffalo Wild Wings. Ha!

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So there you have it. I think these would even be good with dipping sauces that you can make at home to match the flavors listed on the bag. So good. Be a man and get them all, and tell your military pals about the deal. I think they’re still offering some deals for active military. Check out their Twitter page for updates and other deals.

Puerto Rico & St. Croix

This is just a quick commentary post about some of the tasty treats I encountered on a trip my wife and I took to Puerto Rico (Old San Juan) and St. Croix. My wife’s cousin was awesome to invite us to their destination wedding at a resort in St. Croix, so we made a mini-vacation out of it by doing a pit stop over in San Juan before puddle jumping to St. Croix for the nuptials.

OLD SAN JUAN

LUNCH

Our first food adventure was this lunch spot in Old San Juan called, uniquely enough, Cafe Puerto Rico. We started with an appetizer sampler, which included fried cheese (center top, below sipping sauces), corn sticks (left), fried chicken chunks (center bottom) and alcapurrias (right).

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The chicken was perfectly fried and juicy inside. The fried cheese was a bit dry, and had a consistency more like tofu than what you might expect from hot, fried cheese. The corn sticks were pretty much corn dog batter, but without the dog inside. The alcapurrias were delicious, but quite different from the version we had at Inti. There was still meat inside, but there was less mashed potato ball and more crunchy wrapper type material happening.

Then I had yellow rice with pork sausage, which came with sides of beans and fried plantains. The sausage was tender, hearty and bold-spiced. The rice was cooked to a nice al dente with not too much grainy texture. It was great, especially with the beans poured over it. The plantains were really special though. They were chunks that hat been squashed flat and then lightly battered before frying, so they had a crispy outside but a little softness and texture inside. Awesome.

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My wife had chicken mofongo. This is a mixture of starchy veggies (usually plantains and/or cassava) mashed up and formed into a bowl or pocket, and then topped or filled with pulled chicken and sauce. I though the chicken and mofongo itself were both dry, although tasty.

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DINNER

That night, we had a belated anniversary dinner at a really nice restaurant right across the street from our hotel, called Marmalade.

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This place is charging NYC prices but the food is worth every damn penny. Since we had a huge, starchy lunch, we opted to share an app, a pasta dish and dessert, while each ordering our own entree. Here’s what we had:

First was this nice beet salad (yes – the beet crazy is even happening in Puerto Rico, not just NYC), which was served carpaccio style with citrus, hearts of palm, goat cheese and micro-greens.

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Our waiter gave us a complimentary cup of this delicious white bean and truffle soup, which was dusted with pancetta crumbles. Very velvety and smooth, earthy and rich. I loved it.

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For our pasta, we tried the truffle pappardelle. This had a great flavor, but the texture ended up being a little bit lackluster, as the peppercorn and truffle bits that were embedded into the pasta dough ended up changing the tensile properties that you usually expect with a perfectly cooked pasta. Still delicious, in a perfectly suited marsala sauce to compliment the truffle and mushroom flavorings, but I think it would have been better with shaved truffle instead of truffle in the dough itself.

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Our entrees were amazing. My wife had the haddock cheeks, which came with fresh spring peas and a rosemary foam type of sauce. The portion size was generous, and the fish was cooked perfectly.

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My entree was the Berkshire pork cheeks. These were roasted to a perfect softness, and served with amazing spicy habanero grilled pineapple pieces. These were so great. I was expecting a lot of heat but the sweetness of the pineapple really rounded it out to a nice balance. I wasn’t crazy about the smear of BBQ flavored bean puree in the center of the plate, but otherwise this dish was fantastic.

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For dessert we shared a strawberry and rhubarb crumble that was topped with a nice scoop of fresh citrus ice cream, poppy seeds and some granola. This was nice, though I almost wish it was all served cold, as opposed to the hot strawberry and rhubarb compote and the cold ice cream. I realize that is out of the ordinary for something like this, but I think it may have worked better.

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A great meal, and excellent service. Even the drinks were awesome. My wife had an “Urban Hipster,” which was made with raw coconut pulp, pink guava yerba buena & Don Q Crystal, with a splash of ginger beer (left). It was nice and refreshing, as was my cocktail, the Jimi Hendrick’s. That was muddled mint and sliced jalapenos swimming in fresh cucumber juice, Hendrick’s gin and a squeeze of lime (right).

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COLD SNACK

The next day we found this hidden shave ice type joint that serves up these little plastic cups of goodness for only $0.75 each.

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They tasted like the bottom part of those Marino Italian ice cups, where all the ice crystals of sugary goodness settle in the freezing process. So freaking good… I had coconut, and my wife had strawberry. These hit the spot in the blazing heat.

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ST. CROIX

In St. Croix I only documented the rehearsal dinner food, and the wedding reception food, both of which were excellent. Let’s get right into it.

REHEARSAL DINNER

The rehearsal dinner was at a joint called Savant in Christiansted, St. Croix.

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The bride and groom had been there before, and we certainly trust their culinary opinions, so we knew we were in good hands.

We started with some beer-battered fish fritters and grilled baby squid. Both were great. The fish was nicely battered: crispy and light on the outside, and juicy and tender inside. The grilled squid had a great char flavor on them, and they were nicely seasoned.

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The place got really nice after the sun started to go down.

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I had the bacon wrapped pork chop for my entree. This was really frigging good. I was worried about the cooking temperature on this – concerned that it might be ruined it cooked through, yet bad if undercooked – but these guys nailed it. It was delicious and flavorful from end to end.

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My wife had a coconut and hazelnut crusted mahi mahi dish that was on special (along with several other mahi mahi dishes – I guess they needed to move the product). It was served with a spicy watermelon sauce. This was such a unique and delicious dish. Really well conceived and executed.

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She also had this nice looking blood orange based cocktail. very pretty:

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ASSORTED RESORT FOOD

Not really worth mentioning in depth here are some items we tried at the restaurant on site. Breakfast was a bit pricey and somewhat lame. The grits were flavorless, and the sandwich needed better bread. My wife’s eggs were decent (though overpriced):

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There was a really nice hot sauce that was spicy and mustard based, went well when mixed with mayo and eaten with french fries. Not sure if this was the same shit put into different, reusable bottles.

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A great drink was the banana colada. Really nicely done with ice cream. It was like a vanilla and banana milkshake with chocolate syrup and rum:

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WEDDING RECEPTION

This was a very good meal. I’ve been to lots of weddings where the food sucks, and I was a bit worried about that here because the lunch and dinner service were really REALLY slow and a bit lame on the food items (with the exception of the pulled pork slicers). But the restaurant at Renaissance Carambola Beach did an great job for the wedding, which is all-important for the couple.

The meal opened up with this really nice sundried tomato risotto, which was topped with pea puree, spicy saffron foam and a potato crisp. Everything here was perfect. Nicely balanced with spicy and sweet, and the rice was cooked expertly.

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The salad (not pictured) was nice too. Lightly dressed arugula and spinach, with beets of course, goat cheese, and a honey nut roasted shallot vinaigrette.

I had the petite filet with gorgonzola, which came with broccolini, carrots and mashed sweet potatoes. Petite is a misnomer here, as this baby was about 10-12oz. I was a happy man, as it was perfectly medium rare in the center with a great crust on the outside. Bravo!

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My wife had the pan seared Chilean sea bass with orange ginger sauce and crab risotto. This was tasty too, but a bit redundant with what tasted like a repeat of the appetizer risotto.

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Dessert was a passion fruit and key lime torte, served in a champagne flute like a tiramisu, parfait or deconstructed cake. It was nice! Not too heavy or sweet, and a good balance between acidity and sweetness.

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LOCAL BEER

A fun part of any trip for me is sampling the local beer selections. As I mentioned above, I tried the two Puerto Rican brews available to me at the lunch joint; Medalla and Magna. Both were solid, light and refreshing. Overall that was a very starchy meal, and very filling. This was okay by us since we had walked a shit-ton of miles that day just exploring Old San Juan, and working up a serious sweat in the sun. The two local beers were great to cool off with while we were eating:

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In St. Croix, there was a much better selection at the resort. I was ordering like a mad man just to try them all. Here’s a few:

Carib – light and crisp, and actually from Florida.

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Virgin Islands (St. John Brewers) Mango pale ale, and summer ale. Both were delightful, but the mango one really stood out as a favorite for beach style drinking. It was delicious.

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Blackbeard ale: contrast the light brews above with their stout. This was chocolately and sweet, without being too sweet or too strong to the point of boredom and uselessness. This was a great stout. I never thought I’d be into a stout while on a beach, but this is the exception.

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AIRPORT SNACKS

I love to try weird chips, sodas and snacks wherever I go. Sometimes they’re a hit, other times they’re a miss.

The big miss on this trip was the I Malta India malted soda type drink. It was bitter caramel flavored, very corn-ish and syrupy, with barley as well. Side note: this was made by the same brewing company as the Puerto Rican beers, which I liked. Hefty on the calories too. More than Coca Cola.

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My wife grabbed an assortment of chips as well. Aside from the chicharrones (not pictured) the other two standout items that were tasty were the garlic plantain chips and the yucca chips. The plantains tasted just how you’d imagine. Salty, crispy, starchy and with a good garlic flavor. They were great. The yucca chips were light and airy, but they had almost double the calories of regular potato chips. So good though. There’s a nice coconut soda in there as well. This was a big hit with me, since I love soda and coconut separately. The combination was greater than the sum of its parts.

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One nice bonus on the way home was the presence of a Carl’s Junior. I’d never had their food before, so this was a nice excuse to devour some. We tried the chicken strips, fries and the double burger. All pretty decent, but I am not sold on this stuff being any tastier than McDonalds, Wendy’s or Burger King. Glad I got to stuff my face though.

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Alright that’s it! Hope you enjoyed my vacation food photos. Half were with a real camera, and the other half were with a cell phone. Sorry, but you’ll just have to deal with it, you bastards.

Minetta Tavern

After coming here a few times for drinks back in the day, the place has taken on new ownership. Now there is a massive buzz about their amazing “Black Label Burger,” so I had to give it a try.

My wife and I decided to sit at the bar for our meal.

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We started with a pair of cocktails. For me, it was the Bull Shot, which was made with vodka, oxtail broth, lemon, and worcestershire sauce. It was really great, and super manly.

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My wife had a spicy bloody Mary with jalapeños, southwest spices, pickled okra, celery, and pickled green bean. It tasted very fresh.

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We ordered the Black Label Burger, which, for $28, comes with a shit load of fries. I didn’t realize, though, that it didn’t have any cheese. That sucked.

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Anyway the burger meat was perfectly cooked to medium rare (even though I ordered medium), and the sear on the outer crust was crispy and packed with crunchy meat flavor. It was topped with sautéed onions and I also put the lettuce and tomato on top as well.

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The fries are the best I’ve ever had. For real. And they give you enough to feed three people with ease. These are so perfectly seasoned and so crispy, that you may be tempted to run to the bathroom quick and jerk off thinking about how good that first fry was before going back for more.

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Speaking of jerk-sauce, they are served up with a really nice house made mayonnaise. Very nice. Contrast with the hellishly disgusting pickle they serve alongside the burger. Thank God it wasn’t already ON the burger. It was a sweet pickle, but flavored with cinnamon or some nonsense. Eww. All in all, a great meal. The Minetta Burger is served with cheese and costs over $10 less. Maybe next time I will try that. Cheese is absolutely necessary on a burger. Anyone who tells you otherwise can go fuck themselves.

SECOND VISIT

On a second visit, my wife and I had a psychotic meal with the man behind The Dishelin Guide and the Dish Envy app, which is soon to be released for public consumption. This was sort of a two-way celebration. First, it’s been four years to the day since I started this blog; and second, for our friend’s app.

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Alright enough bullshit. Let’s get down to business on this fucking incredible food we had. As an appetizer, we shared the black label burger. Our food companion had never tried it before, and I was convinced that my last experience could be better. We added cheddar cheese to it, because every burger needs cheese. It isn’t steak – it’s a burger, people! With that addition, I was correct. This was WAY better than my last burger here. Juicy, perfectly cooked, and really great with the melted cheese. You could still easily pick up all the great beef flavors going on in the grind.

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The three of us shared both the cote de boeuf and the pork shank. Take a look at this fucking delicious chunk of beef. It comes with two hulking marrow bones and a wedge of salad. Who cares about that bullshit? Not me, so I didn’t photograph the salad. Anyway they present it to you like this before they take it back to slice it up:

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Here’s the slice job. Very beautifully plated:

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The meat had a great crust all over and was still nice and pink throughout the eye of the meat. The fat cap was a bit underwhelming and gristled, but the flavor of the eye made up for that in spades. If this was a legit steakhouse review, the score would probably be a 9 for flavor. I’ve had better, but this is just a really impressive dish to pull off on a regular basis. We need to give credit where credit is due. Well done, Minetta Tavern. Delicious.

My wife took down most of the pork shank. Unfortunately the skin didn’t get crispy like we expected, but the meat was fork tender and really tasty.

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On the side we had these really nice potatoes that were described as “punched.” Basically, baked, crisped and flavored with rosemary salt and garlic while being pressed. I absolutely loved them, but I was so focused on the meat that I didn’t get a chance to really savor my portion. I just kinda wolfed it between bites of meat.

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For dessert we tried the cold nougat ice cream pie thingy. It was really nice, almost marshmallowy in texture on top, and with the flavor of a cold candy bar on the bottom. It was topped with a chocolate cherry sauce and some crushed pistachios.

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Here’s the William:

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Oh and I slammed one of these too. haven’t had one in years and it was fucking great. I will need to stock up the fridge at home now:

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MINETTA TAVERN
113 MacDougal St.
New York, NY 10012

1 2 3 Burger Shot Beer

I’ve walked by this joint on many occasions. Today I finally had the time to go in and see what it’s all about.

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The name comes from the daily specials offered: $1 burgers (sliders), $2 shots and $3 beers – ANY beer on tap, other than the ciders. Not fuckin’ bad!

The joint is set up like a college style sports bar. Lots of TVs throughout, with seating at the bar and along the opposite wall.

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They even have some drinking games like the wheel of death pictured below, along with beer pong, and there is an outside drinking area in the back as well.

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So I came with a coworker and we noticed outside that if you bring a friend you can get their daily lunch special in a two-for-one deal. The daily lunch special is three sliders, fries, and a beer for $7. Normally that will cost you $10 if you order the items separately, on their own. With the “bring a friend” special we got six sliders, two beers and two fries for $7. AWESOME!

The beers are probably only 10oz, but they don’t restrict you on the draft options, which is nice. I got a Hoegaarden and my buddy got a Rebel IPA.

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The sliders are nice and tasty. They come topped with American cheese and grilled onions, nicely jammed between a mini potato bun. Deeeeelicious. I can easily put away a dozen without even blinking.

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The fries needed salt. They were decent, but seasoned with a salt substitute sort of thing. Perhaps paprika and some other herbs. The portion size is a bit small if you were ordering separately at the full $4 price tag.

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Since I’m a fat fuck, I also needed to try some other items. First was this Philly cheese steak. It comes with finely sliced steak, ooey-gooey cheese and onions on a hot dog style bun for $5. I ate the fuck out of this thing. It was way tastier than the sliders, for sure. But maybe you can get a better one at a larger size for just a few bucks more down at Shorty’s, nearby on 9th Avenue in the 40s.

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Wednesday is double wing day. When you order wings, they double it for free. I recommend that Wednesday is the ONLY day to try the wings here, as they are small (which I actually like, but most people do not) and don’t come with many per order (four or five), at a price tag of $7. Since we came on a Wednesday, our order was $7 for nine or ten wings. They’re breaded and fried crisp before they are tossed in the Hell’s Kitchen wing sauce, which is a standard mild to medium spice level. If you get these on a non-Wednesday, you’ll probably feel like you got ripped off.

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Overall this is a great place to grab some grub and suds, especially on a nice day, since the place has an open and airy feel. Go with a friend during lunch to get the most bang for your buck. That two-for-one special on the $7 lunch deal is amazing. Just add some more sliders to the order to get a real filling meal out of it.

1 2 3 BURGER SHOT BEER
738 10th Ave
New York, NY 10019

carnivore connoisseur